| I have posted gere in the past... I am in my thirties, married for 10, hav 2 children, and got into med school last year and with bursaries and loans am supporting my family and feeding snd providing shelter for wifes 19 year old sister. Issues came up in fall and a bit in spring about roles in house ... Like cleaning cooking. My wife stays home and she has since before i got in to med. I tried to reason but she felt intent on insisting i "do" stuff when i come home at 8-9 sometimes. I have done my best to balance school home and parenting and being husband! I make plans for dates, make a meal a week, have weeked free from studying so i can be free for family etc... When she stated she was overwhelmed with cooking ... I even hired a cleaner once every 2 weeks. Now i just finished exams... 3 weeks hardcore studying for like 15 hours a day.. It was tough on me and i am sure on my wife! So when i finished i was happy to let her know that i will take care of food and taking kids to school etc... BUT this in no way meant that im now a slave of the house "making up" for my absence! My wife came upstairs yesterday and saw me watching a movie and said "i thought" with you being home you would help/do stuff... That killed my energy cause i was totally cooking healthy food for us, having total energy to take kids off my wifes hands (shes is lreparing for a fundraiser at kids school)... This phrase has come up before when i resisted cleaning after coming from school at 9... The words then were that i dont help around the house.... I am resentful now because again my contribution isnt again valeud for some reason... It seems that her sister is praised for watching kids and god forgive me not thanking kids inadvance of going out... But yet, the fact that my med school "job" is supporting us with a comfortable lifestyle, allowing her sister to be here with us (whereas a year ago we barely had an extra 100$ for food and had a homestay student paying 500$ to stay with us), and finally allowing my wife to opportunity to stay at home with kids which is what she has wanted ie to raise our kids. Before we both worked demanding jobs and kids were a mess.... Besides supporting fjnancially... I also do our financial tracking, planning and getting money (applying for bursaries, government assistance, gym memberships, preschool, etc... All free because we have no income - but all this takes learning and time) time which is not valued!!! I am so angry!!!! I dont feel im wrong but just wanna get some alternative opinions/reality checks!! Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
I am feeling resentment
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