I genuinely feel like a bad person

I feel like a bad person and it's actually down to genuine reasons. Not low-self esteem I just know I am a bad person. Like this is all the stuff I do:

- Quick to notice bad qualities in people and still see them in friends.
- Judge people who lack "common sense" and knowledge on things that I find fundamental // people who get confused when things are explained in the simplest way possible.
- Look down on quite a lot of people - e.g. the stereotypical type on benefits, those in manual work.
- I'm quite blunt with some people and think a lot of people hide who they are and spew out bull ****.
- Get incredibly angry at people who have a poor memory, because I expect them to remember important things at the very least.

----
The problem is although I acknowledge what I do is wrong (and I know that some people actually enjoy manual work and that it's important) and that some of my thoughts are flawed, I've never felt compelled to change. This is what I said to someone on Skype to describe myself better:

Spoiler:

Show

I am very rude and i hold quite bad opinions of a lot of people[01/03/2014 00:47:35] Hayden S: i also look down on an awful lot of people very easily
[01/03/2014 00:47:39] Hayden S: and im quite judgemental
[01/03/2014 00:48:01] Hayden S: i am a bad person haha ive always known i just pretend not to care but i cant always
[01/03/2014 00:52:06] ----: well if you don't like who you are, why don't you try to change? i know it's not easy but yeah
[01/03/2014 00:52:10] ----: everybody has flaws :P
[01/03/2014 00:52:59] Hayden S: i dont want to im all about hey stick with who u r and deal with it
[01/03/2014 00:53:06] Hayden S: and ive always attacked anyone who tries to change me
[01/03/2014 00:53:13] Hayden S: but ye my personality sucks lols

So yeah I don't know what I do, because I don't like feeling like a bad person - yet I'm always on the "accept who you are" path and I actually know that my thoughts are bad and wrong god idk i sound like a dick after all this :(

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

A crush on my classmate who I've only known for a month?

My school year (I'm a first year JC student) started just a month ago, and the school just assigned us to our new classes, so I wouldn't say that I know the guys in my class that well yet. I know the girls because we came from the same all-girls secondary school and are already friends, but because I've never had much interaction with guys my whole life, I'm still slowly trying to befriend the guy classmates.

There's this witty, hard-working and kinda cute guy, but he just hangs out mostly with the other guys and I haven't had much of a chance to chat with him except for once when we were queuing at the same canteen stall (lame, I know). We've awkwardly texted before, because his friend used my phone to start a whatsapp convo him and he messaged me after that, but I forgot to reply after a while so our chat went dead. :( I find it perfectly alright texting the other guy classmates, I spam them just how I would with my girl friends, but I don't even dare to text him. :P what should I do?

I don't know if I'm imagining things, I probably am since he's the geeky sort who likes studying more than girls, but he always sits at exactly a one seat radius from me (either behind, in front or at the table facing mine, never next to me though, he still sits with the guys) in any classroom. At this point I'm fairly convinced he doesn't really care about me or know of my existence other than the fact that I'm his classmate, so I'm just ranting here because I don't feel like I can tell this to my real-life friends; they'll just tease me :/

I'm hoping that we'll be in the same Project Work group so I have more of a chance to talk to him. :P I think he's caught me staring at him occasionally though, which probably makes me seem like a plain weird stalker.

Okay rant over, I'm sorry for making everyone read through my silly infatuation issues but I'll update this thread if anything good or bad happens!
(and he likes Sherlock, should I use it as a conversation starter?) :D

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Gay guys: Megan Fox or a really ugly man?

Gay guys, would you rather have sex with:

A) Megan Fox (or indeed any incredibly hot female)

or

B) An incredibly ugly, overweight male?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

what would you do...?

what would you do if lucy96 came at your door step :O

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

He choked me. I don't know what to do.

Here's the story. I'll try to make it brief.

My boyfriend of 5 years and I own a business together. We have an office and one employee - his dad.

Last week I made a mistake and he got on my case for it (rightly so). I apologized and acknowledged that I effed up. I thought it was over.

Yesterday the same issue came up again and he started getting on my case again for the same thing as last week. Nothing too terrible or anything, but it was really getting on my nerves and adding stress to the situation. Finally I said loudly "Stop yelling at me!" This was while his dad was there in the next room and even though I didn't scream it or anything, I'm sure he heard and it embarrassed my boyfriend.

Just a side note - My BF is super sensitive to being embarrassed. When most people would just feel slightly embarrassed about something, he's mortified. Especially when it is in front of his family.

Also, there is an office next door and they might have heard because the walls are very thin. I didn't hear them there yesterday, but we can often hear conversations word for word when they are just talking in normal voices.

Anyway, my boyfriend then got in my face and called me a B*TCH and a "public embarrassment." He left and I went back to my work. But a few minutes later he came back and started getting in my face again for embarrassing him in front of his dad and then started calling me a retard and worthless. He was talking intensely and spitting in my face (not intentionally) so I put my hand in front of my face to block the spit. He slapped it away and started calling me names again and threatened to drag me into the bathroom and beat me.

I told him not to threaten me and I wouldn't tolerate it. In that moment, his dad walked into the room and probably heard me.

My boyfriend then proceeded to point to me and tell his dad "see this is why I'm always late. I have to deal with THIS." ("This" being me. Apparently I don't have a name and I'm not even "she" -- I'm just this.)

He is always late regardless of if I'm there or not and his family has told me that has always been the case, even before we met. I looked at him and asked him, right in front of his dad, why an almost 32 year old man was running to his daddy with his relationship problems. I probably shouldn't have done this. It was mean and uncalled for and I regret saying that.


His dad kind of just rolled his eyes and tried to change the subject, but I walked away and went into the bathroom (the only room with a lock) and started crying.

His dad left, and my boyfriend came back and demanded I come out because he had to leave. I said "why do you need me? just go" and I said it loudly because it was through a door so he could hear me. The volume of my voice was apparently hugely offensive, probably because there might have been someone next door. He told me if I didn't open the door that instant I would be sorry. I didn't. So he took a screwdriver and took off the doorknob and that's when it got violent.

He grabbed me by the throat and pushed me against the wall. I hit my head at least three times. I have a headache today - not sure if it's related because I get headaches a lot. He had a screwdriver and was holding it like a knife, as if he was going to stab me with it. He then grabbed my neck with both hands. Then he realized what he had done and stopped and apologized and hugged me.

All last night he said he was sorry and knew he shouldn't do that, but we BOTH need to work on how we treat each other.

Honestly I don't know what to do. I want to end the relationship, but if I do there will be very bad consequences.

I'm at my parents' home right now because my mother has cancer and I'm looking after her today. My boyfriend has threatened to make my mom's life hell by being a disturbance in the neighborhood. In the past when I tried to end the relationship he said "I will show up at your door and your mom can't handle the stress in her state."

He has also threatened to tell people that I never worked for our business so my resume is blank for over a year and I won't be able to find work.

I also feel bad for him because all of our business debt is in his name. If I leave, he can't afford to hire anyone ( I haven't gotten paid for a year) and the work I do won't get done. He's just one person, and even though he is smart and capable he won't be able to keep up. He can't even afford to pay someone minimum wage. If I leave, he will likely have major financial problems. So will his dad because his dad, who is retired and on a fixed income, lent the business a lot of money.

This break up doesn't just affect me and my boyfriend. It also will negatively affect both of our families.

I just don't know what to do. Even though I contributed to the fight, I don't think I deserved to be choked.

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

I feel like I'm losing him

I've been on a few dates with this guy who I really like. We've been getting on really well and he was close to telling me he loved me.

But for about a week he's been quite distant. He says he's been busy with work but I feel like things are different between us.

I want to ask him what's going on and find out where I stand but don't know how. I don't want to mess things up...

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Second date = kiss/snog

So I had a 2nd date 10 days ago..it finished with a kiss/snog. Any ideas as to how I'm suppose to read that? :cool: No 3rd date has been planned, although he did say ''See you soon''. No idea if he is waiting for me to initiate setting up the 3rd date? Although we've been texting every so often..... Not very good at this dating lark. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks! :o

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

what do you do if your spouse stop communicating

When asked about their husbands, wives often respond with, "He won't communicate." When husbands won't talk, wives have a few choices in what to do next. The response a husband receives will either encourage him to talk more or may shut him down even further.

It's important to recognize that people can't "not communicate." Even when someone isn't talking, they are communicating. Non-verbal communication is very important to look at when considering someone's communication. Gestures and body-language can tell a lot about a person's thoughts and feelings. So even if he isn't talking, take a look at his behaviors.

Take a look at the times when he isn't talking to you. What happened right before that? Did you ask him a question? Were you telling him something? Were you trying to get him to do something? It is important to start to examine these things so that you can start to understand what may have caused him to shut-down. This is especially important if it is only an occasional occurrence.

Take a look at the timing as well. Do you expect him to be talkative when he comes home from work but he really just wants to relax on the couch? Are you calling him on his drive home from work and he doesn't seem to want to talk? Do you have a habit of wanting to talk right in the middle of his favorite television show? Try to notice times when he seems to be more talkative and try to communicate with him at those times.

Perhaps there aren't just instances where he seems quiet but perhaps his personality causes him to be quieter in general. Statistically speaking, men solve problems more often and talk less about emotions and emotionally charged events. So don't expect him to spill his guts about his day every day.

Try to communicate with other languages rather than just talking. Perhaps a back rub would be a great way to communicate your desire for closeness. Or maybe you could watch the game with him and instead of trying to talk, just enjoy his company. Pay attention to the ways you usually communicate and see what you can try to do differently.

Keep your emotions in check when communicating with him. Sometimes strong emotions, such as crying, make others feel uncomfortable. It may cause him to stop talking or he may not know how to respond to your emotional needs at times.

Anger can be another emotion that causes people to want to end the conversation. If you are becoming angry, he may want to stop talking to you, which is actually a good choice. Or if he's becoming angry, he may want to stop the conversation as well. If anger is becoming an obstacle, talk about taking a time-out and then resuming the conversation once you are calm. People communicate at their best when they are able to be calm and rational.

Take a look at your emotional intimacy. Sometimes communication problems create intimacy issues. Sometimes lack of intimacy creates communication problems. Tackle the problem by working on both issues. Improve your communication and your intimacy will likely improve. If you improve your intimacy, you'll likely communicate better.

If you are not feeling emotionally connected, find some ways to re-connect with one another. This may include things such as spending more quality time together. Focus on subjects that he does like to do talk about. Engage him in discussions about topics that interest him to help get conversations started.

If communication seems to be problematic to your relationship, consider counseling. If your husband isn't into talking much, he may resist the idea of talking to a counselor. If he does, consider seeing a therapist on your own. You may be able to learn some new skills to help the two of you communicate better, even if he doesn't go with you:smthumbup:

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Tips on asking out a friend on a date?

There is a girl that I've liked since last year but we've only talked to each other very recently, in the last few weeks. In this time, we've gotten closer and we talk to each other every day, laugh at each others jokes and we also work together on university stuff. At the moment we are friends (hopefully not 'friend zoned') and get along very well. Her friend (also good friends with me) thinks I should ask her out but I'm worried that the friendship would end if she rejects me. There is an opportunity to ask her out next week at a party, my plan is to make sure it's just us two when I ask. But what should I say and how should I approach it?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

I can't cope anymore, I feel I have no one and nothing that makes me happy

Hello everyone,

At the risk of sounding melodramatic I am looking for any advice or help from the lovely people of TSR.

Firstly a little about me. I am soon to be 23, a girl and studying for a Masters. To add a little context I feel I should point out that that I grew up overseas and just before my masters had to leave the country I consider home and the friend I had their (although I am English). I returned to the UK to live in the same city that I had been to university in and so had a couple of friends left there.

In essence I have come to realize over the past few months that I have nothing beyond family that matters, and even family issues feel stretched at times. I don't know what it is about me that makes me un-dateable, un-befriendable and apparently unemployable (although I am working on this problem).

I am 23, never had any sort of fling or relationship despite my apparent predisposition to become infatuated with any guy who is remotely friendly to me. In particular I seem to have fallen for a friend of mine, however recently he doesn't seem to think of me even as a friend. We've known each other for about 4 years now, for two of which he was in a relationship with a mutual friend. Since their breakup I have remained 'friends' (in a loose sense of the word) with both of them. I used to consider him one of my closest friends but he no longer seems to want to see me, makes no effort to contact me and does not respond to my texts for hours(despite the fact that when I do see him he constantly has his phone close to hand). Prior to returning to the UK I had concocted some crazy fantasy that something might happen between us, clearly I was and probably still am totally infatuated and insane.

In addition to this I have come to realize that I have no true friends, discounting those I left 'back home' who I still talk to more than any local friends. Stupidly I thought that returning to the UK would involve me getting back together with the friends who were still here. I still see them occasionally but it just doesn't feel right sometimes. This may be due to me acting weirdly and becoming more withdrawn (something I, and I think they have noticed) since being back.

The course I am doing is almost over and just seems like it may have been a waste of time. When I was younger I knew exactly what I wanted to do, I always liked to think of myself as career driven and motivated but the fact is I now just do not care at all. I just want to secure a job for the future because I have no choice, the subject no longer interests let alone excites me.

And to add to all this I have a list of health issues that I am increasingly starting to worry about. Quite often, without reason or warning I will be unable to stop thinking about the surgery that I may need soon. However I have no one I feel I can talk to, my family would just worry and like I said I have no real friends.

Truth be told I don't have a clue what I am doing or why I should even bother. I just can't seem to shake this feeling of being totally alone, even when I am not. I feel that I am constantly putting on an act for my family but increasingly I can't even see the point in doing that. I don't intend to kill myself and I don't think I am particularly desperate but I would love to hear any advice or support TSR could send my way.

Thanks

(And sorry this post is so long)

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Getting in sync

DH and I have been together/married 12/7 years. We're in a loving relationship, but our professional lives keep shaking us up emotionally. I've been reflecting and would appreciate any thoughts or relevant experiences had by my fellow TAM members.

We've both experienced "bosses" of one kind or another that were degrading toward us, and lack of job stability in our respective fields which has led toward self-doubt and/or more serious depression. Recently, we've been able to better ride those waves and be more confident in ourselves. We are both undergoing career transitions and praying that our tax return will keep us afloat until we get our footing.

H has found his passion, it took some time for us to both realize that he's will never be a '9-5' kind of guy, but always a 24/7 kind of guy that just doesn't turn off. He's an artistic type and has made some solid gains in a difficult industry that are about to pay off. Part of the difficulty is that once this gets really going, he needs to be really mobile, hopping from one coast to the other and anywhere in between. He's been worried that I won't be able to be flexible that way.

I worried about it too, I grew up with the stablest of homes when it comes to career and locality. My parents are in the same home entering into their 35th and 42nd year at the same jobs. Especially being the primary earner, I had the mentality that I needed to be stable, an anchor. It worked for me for the first 5 years. I made safe decisions and financial gains, while allowing my H to make necessary educational, professional and emotional developments.

Now, however, the educational industry that I am a part of is rapidly deteriorating in many ways. I am still a passionate educator, but it is no longer a stable or even viable career option for me as a teacher. I've been searching where to direct my passions next, but have had difficulty visualizing goals. I could go into publishing, research or politics with relative ease ('relative' bc changing careers is always incredibly hard) since I already have a new degree under my belt.

Upon recent reflection, I think my mentality of needing to be 'stable' started to backfire into rigidity (It's hard, because it worked well for my parents, and me too at first). I think we've had increasing difficulty in our relationship because I've been convinced that I need to be more provider than partner. Since H is moving toward such a dynamically mobile career, if I choose a career path that's too 'stable' I'll be out of sync with him. So now I'm starting to view my possible professional aspirations with the goal of being 'in sync' instead of 'stable'

btw, we do own a home (near where I grew up) that we both agree we will keep forever no matter where or how often our jobs take us. (thankfully its affordable too)

So, any thoughts on what it means to be 'stable' or 'in sync'?
Anybody else been through something like this?
What effects have career changes had on your relationships?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Question about Mariage Counselor

Hello everyone:
I went 'Marriage Counselor' started early January which went VERY well and thanks to the competent and understanding counselor, my relationship with my husband got almost back to the origianl state. The reason I went to the counselor was, he got an intense Emotional Affair with much younger woman. After each of my counselor's visit, he realized he did such a stupid thing and his attitude towards me is much improved.

I know that without her help/talk, I never been back to this day and first of all, because of the counselor I got peace of mind for which I really appreciate more than anything else.

My question is;
When I talked to my marriage counselor on my very recent visit, she advised me to continue the session telling me that abrup stop of the session is not a good idea and recommend several more.

However, I wonder whether I need to continue Marriage Counselor, even my feelings and relationship with my husband got much better and improved?

Thanks for any insights on this in advance.

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Son Wants Me To Go To School

Well, for anyone who has followed my story, my divorce was final January 31. My ex still doesn't understand why I left...even after the false report to Children's Services, the allegations of phone bugging, etc., she still doesn't get it. After SHE filed a divorce petition against me, she said this when the magistrate asked her if she believed that we were incompatible: "I don't know..." She then pointed at me and said, "This was all his idea...."

But in my post divorce world, I only care about being the best Daddy I know how to be for my 5-year old son. I don't really care if she ever gets it.

Tonight, I called my son from the road. He chatted happily with me about a school bus he had made for me out of Legos. He then said he made it for me so I could ride to school. That I needed to go to school and learn how to quit making bad choices. He said he was going to write about how not to make bad choices in a book for me to read.

My ex jumped on the line about that time and told me our son has been talking about me hurting his feelings on a recent phone call. She said maybe I could talk things over with him on my next visitation day.

For the life of me, I don't recall doing anything that bad. My son will frequently get mad at me over some misunderstanding and abruptly hang up on me. But I always maintain a calm voice with him, even when he's upset with me. It irked me a little that she was putting me on the defensive like that in front of him. She seems to be doing that more these days. I can't quite put my finger on it, because she always appears to be just trying to help me understand his angst. But I'm not getting a very positive vibe. On the other hand, I don't want to discount my son's hurt, either.

Am I blowing this out of proportion, or was that conversation really messed up?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

She doesn't love all of me

my wife and I are becoming distant and on the verge of separation. Recently we had a big fight. She says she loves me bot doesn't love my body style. Since we've gotten married I have been loosing weight because I started working out everyday and playing football again. My wife has gained more than 15 pounds since we've gotten married. I loved her body when we first got married and I love it now. I'm 6'3 265 pounds. I love my body, but she doesn't. I was soo upset at this recent discovery that I didn't eat for a few days, considered lypo and fat burning pills. Then I thought, why kill myself to make someone love how I am. I told her I can't be in a marriage if I don't feel fully loved. She says my body doesn't matter because she still loves me, just not my body. But I still think I can't feel fully loved If someone doesn't love all of me.

Not to mention we haven't been intimate more than twice a month for the past year.

Am I wrong for my thinking of not wanting to be in a marriage where the other person doesn't love me fully?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Getting things off my chest. Coping skills?

Hey guys/gals.
I am totally brand new here and I think it is so cool that people in here all help and support each other in these dyer times.

My story;
I have been with my soon to be x for almost 10 years. Married for 3. We are best friends. There is some traveling we wanted to do that involved living and working abroad, but she went back to school, I worked on getting a better career and now she has a degree and a proffesion as an RN and I have my dream job.
I am 31 she is 28. She moves in with her best friend and says she wants to travel more and work abroad and knows I don't want to(which is true, have a dream job and am ready to settle down) so we should get a divorce.
I love the girl and I am pretty sure she loves me, yet this marriage is over. It has been almost 2 months and I am having a hard time. We have pets and a house together. We see each other every few days to go over stuff and for animal care. We are cordial and hug. I think it kills both of us to be in this situation but she is sure this is what she wants and I know I need to accept it.

I guess what I need to know is how the hell do you get over this stuff? When does it start to get better?

We still chat like old pals whenever we see each other and need to be in touch due packing up the house and our pets.

Any ideas please? Positive thoughts?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Are you sour grapes about the opposite sex?

Why are some people like this?

Of course everyone has preferences, and different people find different things attractive. But, sometimes, people are just obviously trying to criticise or put down other (attractive) members of the opposite sex just because they're not particularly attractive themselves, and they're quite sour-grapes about it. Sometimes, people take it to extremes and just seem to hate the entire opposite sex because they aren't getting any.

Obviously, there are other reasons to dislike people and sometimes people are just joking around. but it really annoys me when you hear a guy who doesn't even exercise and is really skinny saying something like "Most female celebrities who work out end up looking like men," or a girl who's very overweight saying "muscles on guys are disgusting and look wrong". Everyone's entitled to their opinion ofc, but trying to put down other people just out of jealousy and bitterness seems ridiculous to me.

One of my friends is really, really pretty (modelled for Hollister among other places, lovely figure and face, looks like Jessica Biel but blonde) and I have heard more of my male acquaintances criticise her than any other girl I know. Not even kidding. It's nearly always the unattractive guys who do so too, it's just so obvious and stupid. These are also the guys who go on about "Jessica Alba/Scarlett Johansson/Cheryl Cole etc. are 6/10s at best I wouldn't go out with them if they asked". It just makes me LOL and it is so pathetic. Loads of male celebrities considered "hot" are not to my taste, I might say I don't fancy them but I don't feel the need to have a long go at them either.

I've heard (generally considered to be) very attractive people criticising the way others look, too. And that definitely isn't OK either. But, in my personal experience, it's by far and away those who aren't very attractive themselves (not necessarily just physically too, those who aren't very successful if they're adults or have good social skills or whatever) who seem to feel the need to have a vitriolic go at attractive members of the opposite sex. Most of the "attractive" people I know are secure enough in themselves that I can count all those who do that on one hand.

Do you reckon I should call my friends out on this when they do it? Or is it just a silly stage they'll grow out of?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Boyfriend has a high sex drive.... I don't

We've been together about 3 months and it's apparent that we're not doing it anywhere near as often as he'd like.
At the moment we have sex once or twice a week... But he'd prefer to have it once or twice a day!
Is this going to be a major hindrance? I do try and convince myself to do it more.. I'm just never as into it.

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

What to do when someone asks you are you gay and you're not??!!

nothing against gays
but im obviously straight
I wana attract women not men

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Complicated love

I know that people reading this are going to think I am either an idiot, a horrible person, naïve or all of the above. But I need to get this out and I desperately need some advice.

I have fallen, madly, desperately, head over heels in love with someone. However the universe is completely against it for so many reasons. The first being that he lives on another continent.

I have been in a relationship for 3 years, with a somewhat abusive boyfriend. This, added to the fact that I am diagnosed with depression and social anxiety has damaged me more than I can really say. I have not left him in these years because I genuinely don't think I will ever find someone else with my anxieties, and being alone makes me feel alienated from people and almost suicidal. So I have put up with being made to feel worthless, and now I have sort of become like ice, whatever he says it doesn't have much of an effect anymore as I am used to it. I can confidently say that I do not love him at all and he doesn't love me, he just likes to have someone around to sleep with. He frequently says 'I can treat you how I like, I know you would never leave me'.

I have had my heart broken before, and I avoid having that experience again like the plague, with a solution for me being not to give someone your heart to break. I have been able to get by with this mentality.

However, on a holiday I met someone and instantly I felt something I have never felt in my life. He worked at the hotel, and by chance we got talking, and I found myself spending every possible moment with him. We talked about everything possible, I felt I had known this person for a long time. However, doing 'anything' with this person wasn't on the agenda for either of us, he knew I had a bf and said he respected him so would not do anything, and all along I thought, I am too weak inside to have the experience of being hurt again. I knew if he even kissed me, that would be it. I would have fallen for him.

When I got home, I find myself talking to him at every possible moment, we message each other all day, and Skype all night. He has never tried to do anything 'disrespectful'. One day he told me on Skype that he loved me, and I found myself saying it back and he actually cried, something I have never thought a man would do. He wants me to go back in 2 months, and this is where further problems start.

The place is a muslim country, and he technically is however he says he doesn't believe in it or follow the religion. But, because it is a muslim country my parents definitely won't want me to go there alone, additionally my dad thinks that the men from there just use western girls for sex. Further on this issue, for a man from that country to stay in a hotel with a foreigner they have to get an 'urfi', which is basically a paper 'marriage', which you rip up when you divorce. Many people in this resort have this paper. He has already got one for us, and said that when I come and if we want to stay together I will have to sign it, but he says I can have the paper and can rip it up whenever I want. I know this sounds like he just wants sex, but actually he has suggested REAL marriage to me, but it is me that says no I can't make a decision like that right now.

I really want to go back and see if this is real, otherwise I will spend my life wondering 'what if'. But my parents won't like me doing it. If I went and they didn't want me to could they call the police? I am 22 years old by the way. I am a very untrusting person, but I find myself really feeling that he is genuine. Reading this you will think I am stupid, I am sure.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Did I encourage him?

Please anon

I have been doing this week of work experience in an accountant firm and today is the last day. The guy that mentors me is not that much older than but reading the signs looks like he is interested in me. He offers to buy me lunch and I always decline. He was asking personal questions and he offered to walk me down to which one of the colleague shouted don't hold back to him. I have no interest in him at all and I actually have seen him as a brother. He gave me his number on a piece of paper, I put in the bin btw. And everyone shook my hand but expect from him whom hugged me. I actually wanted to use him as one of my reference, but what he is doing is not professional.

Should I have declined his hug and just shook his hand? It was so sudden, I could not think clearly.

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Do you find this man attractive?

Question aimed at girls primarily, but gay/bi dudes are welcome to give their opinion too...

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Rumours spreading...

Basically, ages ago I asked a friend for some advise about a girl (I didn't say who), the girl as it turns out is her best friend.

Ages later (3/4 months) I went on a date with this girl...then the next morning by some amazing coincidence, I get a message from her best friend saying; "Bit random, did you ever ask that girl out?".
I thought there's no way that an accident, the girl I dated must have told her. I decided to play it cool and not give away much, just in case. All I said was that we had a good time.
However she kept asking questions...so she can't have known about it.
Now she's trying to guess who it is, she asked two friends who they think it is...basically I'm afraid this is all going to get back to the girl I dated and put her off.
The friend is making it into a bigger deal than it is, a and it makes it look like I've been gossiping about the date...

How do I deal with this/damage limitation? Should I just tell our mutual friend who it is, and ask her to keep it to herself?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Birthday gift idea...

soo i been seeing this girl for a few weeks and its her birthday party tmrw (Saturday)...i got the whole of today to find something decent enough but not the run of the mill stuff like alcohol, chocolate, flowers etc.
personality wise she's pretty normal lol, and loves naruto and mass effect series...ohh and shes romanian if that helps

any suggestions???

Posted from TSR Mobile

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Guys, would you stay with a girl if you found out she self harmed in the past?

As the title says really.
If you found scars or she told you would it freak you out? What about if she still did it?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

Can girls and guys *just* be friends?

I personally think it IS possible for girls and guys to have platonic relationships, and sometimes the closeness gets ruined if you end up together and break up later on.

...but from personal experience, before I moved here 5 years ago I ended up liking my best guy friend, and I think he also dropped hints that he kind of liked me, but we kinda just ignored that and stuck to friendzone.

Which was perfectly cool because we were partners in crime and best friends anyways, and we were also only 11/12 and the longest serious "relationships" at that time were 2 weeks long.
Ain't nobody got time for that.

...So what do you guys think?

Feel free to share any of your anectodes too

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979