I know there can be physical causes for lack of sexual desire. I, for one, was recently diagnosed with low t in my late forties and a once monthly shot has made a big difference in how much I desire sex. But the time spent together with my wife in bed has changed little.
But I was wondering if one's size can cause the lack of sexual desire. I had always been attracted to larger woman. Can being big though cause a woman not have any desire in sex? My first wife was about 5'3" and 185 lbs. and it was about after a year or 2 of marriage she lost interest in sex but that may also of been due to having health issues and a severe physical disability. We divorced after 5 years, not due to a sexless marriage but rather due to irreconcilable differences, her being depressed and increasing challenges due to her progressive severe physical disability though we remained on friendly terms until she passed away 10 years later.
My current wife and I met about a year after my divorce and were married about a year later. She was even somewhat larger than my ex when we met being 5'0" and 240 pounds. I found her to be very attractive and unlike my ex, kind and loving. She has always been very healthy even with her weight and size. We had fantastic sex for the first 2 years or so and then she lost interest when our 2 children were infants and toddlers, she had some renewed interest for a year or two as they got older but it didn't last long.
Over the years we have had our ups and downs as in any marriage, we've worked through problems and have always been the best of friends and faithful to each other. Though over the last 5 years she has shown little interest in doing anything at night in bed. We have had sex maybe once a month or less in the last 5 years.
Especially in the last 3 years she has gotten huge, at her highest documented weight she was 303 pounds at only 5'0" tall in April of this year. Her dr. put her on diet pills and she has lost about 15 pounds since. Despite her size, I still love her and find her as attractive as the day we met. She is in her late thirties but looks about 10 years younger than she is. I have always treated her with the upmost respect that all women deserve and have never said anything hurtful or demeaning regarding her weight or size. She has always been a great mother and wife (outside the bedroom) but has little to no interest in intimacy at night. The times in which we have engaged in sex it seemed as though it was a very uplifting and very pleasurable experience for her to the point she wanted it to go on the rest of night. The problem is getting her to this point of arousal. Over 90% of the time she will reject any advances that I make, I find that to be very depressing at times. But in every other way we have a very good marriage unlike so many other couples I've known and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
My wife outwardly appears to be very self confident, has high self esteem, and easily makes friends. When she is around others she seems to accepting and not ashamed of her weight and size. Other than finding clothes that fit, getting seatbelt extenders when we fly somewhere on vacation, and not being able to walk fast her life doesn't seem to of been adversily affected because of her weight. In the beiginning we could practically have sex anythere and at any time that would of been appropriate. Especially in the last 5 years, she seems to not like undressing or getting naked in front of me and when we had made love it has to be in the dark or under the sheets like she doesn't want to be seen.
Can being 150-175 pounds overweight alone cause a woman to lose alot of interest or desire to have sex?
Can obesity cause hormonal imbalances in woman, if so how can that be checked and treated?
What are things I can do to increase her arousal and make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable for her?
From all the latest reality tv shows on obesity there are apparently many other couples who are going through similar experiences of a spouse living with morbid obesity. I would like to hear from others in a similar situation.
Put the internet to work for you.
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