| My husband and I have been separated for five months, although we lived in the same house for four months. At the beginning of our separation, we were both cordial, agreeing that our separation was for the best. I moved to another state about a month and a half, two weeks ago he called me for the first time since our separation because he wanted to hear my voice. He was very depressed, he took blame for everything that went wrong in our marriage (even though I told him it wasn't all his fault). We talked about him moving to where I was, at least for a visit. We made plans to work on ourselves by doing IC and perhaps later on, if we decided to continued our marriage, to do MC. He never asked me to go back to him, but he implied it. After his call, I broke down, I began missing him. I felt awful and guilty for leaving him. I felt it was my fault he was so miserable and depressed. About a week after his call, I wanted to head back to him, so I asked him by text, "Can I come back" His reply was no, he said our separation was for the best. So I left it at that, but his admission put me in a very sad mood. I have always felt he was my best friend, I am struggling to find a job, and haven't been lucky so far. In any event, I took a test yesterday for a federal job and I passed this test. I have always felt he was my best friend. I sent him a text telling him how happy and excited I was. He never replied. Today he called me, he said that he feels free and very happy. He said he has never been this happy and carefree in a long time, that I changed him into a person he didn't like or recognize (he said it wasn't my fault). He said he finally feels free and doesn't care about anything. At first I was concerned because he was very depressed not long ago and now he is experiencing euphoria. I was very worried. But we kept talking and he concluded he never wanted to marry me in the first place. He also concluded that he was never truly happy with me. I was not outgoing, or pretty enough, or whatever. I am very angry but also extremely upset. It should not bother me, but I still love him. Is this his version of the 180? Is he intentionally trying to hurt me? If this is all true, what does that make me and my love? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Is this his version of 180... am I wrong?
Does he like me 'that way' ?
| Ok, so we got talking the other day. We have known each otherfor a while but only recently have we started having regular conversations. Wehave been texting and that and the conversation has not stopped! The X's on theend of the messages have slowly increased and we just get along great to befair. I think he's just so nice, funny and polite. However I just don't know ifwe're thinking the same thing... I don't feel right asking him out purely because I don't want to look an idiotif he says no and all that 'we can just be friends'- know what I mean?! Pleasehelp me, should I keep the converstion going and talk to him when I see him? Idon't get asked out really, I have quite low self-esteem and most guys don'treally like that. I could really use some advice! I don't have a text threadquite like this with any other guy! Thank You!!! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
My Sex Life?
| Man I'm feeling lonely tonight. Two people unfriended me on Facebook and I don't know why. This woman unfriended me before a few years back due to a jealous boyfriend. We have a history. Then an old pastor unfriended me. Maybe I unfriended them by accident? I don't know. I'm feeling all rejected now. On top of that, my wife is rejecting me sexually. I have realized that I am attracted to her. I didn't think I was. But I am. Tragically, she has no sexual desire for me. She says it's torture. I am hurting right now. I know I have said this before. But I am hurting. I need to talk. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Someone please answer my top 10 Qs about ending a marriage
| 1. What happens to the contents of the house, especially all the furniture? I know that sounds like an easy question, but really, what sort of 1 or 2 bedroom apartment is going to be able to house 50% of your former life? 2. With kids involved and a STBXW who doesn't work, what sort of financial ruins awaits me after the state calculates my share of child support. 2b. After paying said child support, what if I don't have enough to live on? My salary just barely pays enough to us to get by on under one roof, what's the quality of life that we'll have when dividing that to become under 2 roofs? 3. What do I do with my wedding band? Wedding photos? 4. How do I tell the kids? 5. Does this really suck every ounce of life out of you? Do you find the will to continue, to trust anyone again? 6. Will I be angry at her forever for taking away my happiness, my life, my home, my children, for evidently wasting 14 years and having nothing to show for it? 7. Is this really a complete re-do? Just like being out of college, broke, alone, without a pot to piss in, except now I'm 45 not 23? 8. I guess I can't think of anything intelligent to ask for questions 8, 9, and 10. That's enough for today. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
PC Police At It Again
| Why do people think they have a RIGHT to never get their feelings hurt? And why do others keep apologizing? This bottle cap of Coca Cola's is just one more nail in the coffin suggesting that we cannot and should not speak about anything. Hoy all, it is not against the law to offend you. Grow thicker skin. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Unable to create NC w/ OW
| Good Evening. I've been lurking for some time, and have been reading posts for hours relating to my situation. I am at a loss how I can proceed. My husband had an affair for 2 years with a POSOW that he works with. He is her boss and she is not married so exposure can't take place with a spouse. If HR finds out it will be a disaster, as he is a shareowner. He will be around her more than me and I don't know how we can move forward. This was our 2nd Day with the same OW. I've been crying all day. I'm so mad and hurt. I can't believe he told me I could trust him and then hurt me 100x worse.help. Posted via Mobile Device | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Should I date while I'm unemployed?
| Since finishing uni a year ago, I've been looking for a job. I've been living at home and have felt really down at times because of a lack of friends at home. My social life is pretty much non-existent. I have some friends which I see once in a while but not as much as I would like. Although, I have a good friend that I chat with regularly and can confide in. I have been dating this last year but nothing worked out and I was left really upset. I'm currently trying to get over someone at the moment too. I have a habit of dating someone new to get over the last guy as this is my way of discovering and remembering that there really are better guys out there. It was really hard when a guy would use the fade out move on me too as it was harder to get closure on my own. I've gotten into a vicious cycle: dating a guy makes me happy and motivates me to job hunt but then when it goes wrong, I'm unmotivated and feel miserable because I don't have a job or social life to occupy myself with. I already have 3 volunteering things that I'm involved with but this only takes up a few hours a week. I really don't know how to cope with the loneliness sometimes. I really just want some company, which is why I want to date. I have been trying to find new friends too though but even when I have them there to chat with and console me, I still find myself yearning for a relationship because past failures just make me want to have it more. I know job hunting should be my focus but I'm just too sad and lonely to do it sometimes. I have found that I am a bit motivated to do things when I'm out the house though so maybe this is the trick to helping me on my way: job hunt on my laptop in cafes or pubs, or something like that. But then I'm too scared to go home to an empty house and spend the evening alone. My parents work at night and my siblings are away at uni. I'm scared of being physically alone as all those bad thoughts about my dating failures can consume me sometimes... I'm really confused as to what to do sometimes. Any advice or just opinions on my situation would be really helpful. Thanks x | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
A hale and hearty thank you
| Allow my self to introduce, erm, ,myself. I stumbled onto this great forum as a mistake. I was googling dirty stories and wound up in CWI and a ridiculous story about a wife and a lesbian affair and a BDSM Master in a foreign land. (almost believable, I know people In the BDSM community, the Doms are obsessed with being ethical, but that is another story) I spent FAR too long in CWI and was devastated with what I read on a daily basis. Oh and did I read. It was addictive, I hate to admit. I cheered some and booed others. But I read and I learned. I the beginning i thought I was the slighted one in the marriage (Me 40 her 37, 2 boys 4 & 5 been married 8 years, together 13.) I read and read and realized that I had grown distant and forgotten how to love her, not nearly as bad as what I have read but bad enough for some Alpha a55 to usurp me. I let this happen. I forgot who I was when we got married. Since I have been reading I got my obligatory copies of MMSLP, and NMMNG. HNHNs are next, but I'm getting there. It seems to me that most marriages slowly fade into the abyss. I'd not tended to mine and we were headed there. Not anymore. She tells me I'm different and we can actually talk now, and discuss our future without the anger and hate that I had prior. I just wanted to thank you all,it has been a boon to my marriage and we could never express our thanks enough. It could have easily been just another sad tale in CWI from either of us but you gave us the ability to communicate meaningfully for the first time in a long time. Thank You TAM, and all the posters for showing me the Light. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Can Women be Too Independent?
| Another post made me think of this. I have read that to a man, his instinct is to protect, provide, and please his wife. What if she doesn't NEED any of those things? Would that lead to him feeling .... like he isn't wanted? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Why would a guy have a mad face when my friend talks about other guys...
| My friend is a girl, when my friend talks about other guys, this guy in my class has a mad face. He also stares at my friend sometimes. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
boyfriend's friend made fun of me
| I went to the same uni as my boyfriend and some of his friends, and always liked him, so plucked up the courage to talk to him when we left. He is friends with a girl, who is pleasant to me when I see her in person (hardly ever) but has a reputation for being very bitchy, and has made horrible comments about others (mainly girls) and been inappropriate with other guys whilst having a boyfriend. I found out recently that when she found out I had started talking to my now-boyfriend, she told him it was hilarious and made fun of me 'trying to datehim'. She said I was really ugly, and he should not sink so low, and gave him a list of other' low-level' girls. She also apparently tried to ban him from dating me. I was genuinely hurt when I discovered, even though it was a while ago. She liked some of my facebook pics too, which just seems fake now. Problem is, she's in my bf's friendship group and he's planning something with them soon so I'll need to s ee her :s What should I do? Thanks | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
How likely is that a guy that is 28 years old living on its own is a virgin...
| What do you think about him? He is not gay. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Boyfriend lied to me about where he was..,
| So my boyfriend works in a bar and he sometimes goes out after work for a few drinks - so on Wednesday he text me saying he was going back to a mutual friends house (Micky) for a few drinks which I was fine with and all was well - the next day I asked who went to mickys house and he just said it was him and another person. So I was out with a different mutual friend of ours tonight who's also friends with Micky and just mentioned about how he went back there. My friend turned round and said he never went back there, he went to another girls house called jade although with Micky too. I don't doubt that he was unfaithful but why wouldn't he just tell me the truth? He's at work at the minute and want to confront him when he gets back but I don't know how to do it. I think he's going to turn around and say he did it because he thought i would kick off because it was a girls house even though I've never given him a reason to think otherwise. Advice is appreciated, thanks :) Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Double/Triple Texting
| Basically me and this girl have been texting a fair amount and have met up a bit, but she doesn't text back for ages. Does it appear too keen to double/triple text and how long is long enough that you know she isn't texting you back? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Fixing low self esteem?
| Hi, When I was younger I had a lot of bad relationship experiences such as being led on, being the stepping stone to a friend (they started with me as a way to get with one of my friends), the times I would be brave enough to tell them I had feelings for them I would be rejected and I also was on the end of a dare-date (where someone was dared by their friends to date me for a day) which resulted in me saying yes and then getting dumped at the end of the day while they all thought it was quite funny. Sometimes people say they can't tell if people are flirting with them, but I have come to now think that no one would flirt with me, and I actually think if people start talking to me they are being friendly (as is normal) but that they do not like me, or that they have been dared to talk to me, or that it is a joke and after a few minutes conversation their friends are going to jump out from round the corner laughing. I'm so scared of getting hurt, I just assume the worst in people and I just think i'm being made the joke most of the time, I don't open up to people because i'm so used to people using this to get to me or that they're after my friends. The worst thing is my mindset is fixed on the idea that I don't deserve to be loved, and no one would like me. Any suggestions on any part of that? What to do about myself mainly. ThanQ for any responses. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Hypothetical situation....
| Let's say that whenever you are near this guy he mumbles/gives a short reply then leaves e.g. he asks me if I want a pint (he's offered my friends some first) and I say I don't drink and he says oh good for you and then walks off so he is on his own, not doing anything. When you are near him and end up talking he always ends up cutting short the conversation and he never has a one-on-one conversation. However, when he sees you upset he gets very concerned, tries to help/make sure you are ok etc. and goes on a rant about how terrible so and so is (in one case how they had a fight). So, why is he very hot and cold when he isn't like this with anyone else?! :S Does he want the girl to stay away from him?? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
condoms in wallet
| If you met someone a guy work, who you were starting to have feelings for....but were not sure if they were single or not If they had their wallet out and you saw what you thought were condoms, what would you think?? (They are not aware that you noticed) Just curious to know what people think - is this very common?? This guy is 26. Does it mean that they are a player? Single? In a relationship? Your thoughts xxxx | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Starting University tomorrow - If it goes wrong I will become homeless
| I start University tomorrow. I'm 21. I have had depression for 5 years which has ruined my life. I have been affiliated with a stammer which means I find verbal communication very difficult. The product of which is poor social skills. I have committed suicide and got to the point of being sectioned under the mental health act when. I had no friends at 6th form - absolutely none and so the likelihood of me having friends at university is very slim. I can't hold a conversation with anyone. I'm quite ugly too. All of this makes me a social outcast. If (When) university fails I will withdraw all of my student loans money and make my way across Europe to Venice. I like being by myself and the prospect of living my life so close to death makes me very excited. I will not return home and live a life of nothingness. If I die then so be it. I see this as a challenge for myself. My destination is the Ospedale della Pieta in Venice. I will have enough money for a couple of years. I have a violin and I know many of Vivaldi's string concertos. I will serenade passersby with Vivaldi for them to hand me kind offerings. Then I will sustain myself. I will find a homeless women and have a child with her then perhaps be granted a house. I must get myself to this place and explore the environment and see others destitute like myself. Of course, some will be hostile and given my age I'll be an easy target. So be it. At least I will have peace from the torment of life. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Got an email reply from ex!
| Hi everyone,further to my previous post I got another email from my ex. The story was that we were together for 8 months and it was intense,full of love but she had insecurities,slight jealously and always thought I was keeping stuff from her (which I wasn't but I think she is scarred from all her previous ex's being liars and cheats etc). I never did anything wrong to hurt her but she was also looking for things and even told friends she is 'expecting' to get hurt by me that actually hurt me hearing that. She actually hit me once out of the blue and i found out that she did it to another ex too. We have been broke up two months as it got too much (mutual) but recently started emailing. She also called and text me drunk a couple of times which stunned me. she does have issues and my friends all say forget this girl. Throughout the relationship I was always the mature one trying to talk about little issues etc. she always shrugged things off. The l ast email she sent was this: Hey, I guess I wished you were saying all this then and not now as I tried my hardest to get over the hurting etc. I did try calling and texting you but it seemed to give a response like you didn't care. I don't want to upset you but I think were right to be apart right now though I could easily meet you and catch up and just make sure everything is left on good terms but only if we think it would do some good? I find it so surreal to have this conversation with you because I fell head over heels for you and I had blinkers on the whole time I was with you!! I'm gutted this is how we are now but I guess its just life. I really hope you are okay xxx All her previous mails were blunt but in this one she seems to open up more. I love the girl and have told her,we both wanted our whole lives together. I know she has issues etc but what does the future hold in your opinions? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
How to let him down gently? Help :(
| I've been seeing this guy for a few months now and as much as I hate to admit it... I really haven't been feeling it at all. He's really lovely and I like him but I've realised that I just don't want to be in a relationship right now. urgh sounds so phoney... but it's true. But the thing is he's going through a really crap time at the moment - family bereavements, medication that makes him so depressed he has to take time off work - and I have no idea how to break it to him. I just think, if I end it with him now, he's gonna feel even more down than he already does, but if l put it off it might be even worse. I don't know what to do or how to do it :( Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I feel like a really horrible person, but I think if it doesn't feel right then it's not fair on him if I don't say anything :( | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Do you pre-decide whether you will get on with somebody or
| Do you pre-decide whether you will get on with somebody by the way they look and what stereotypes you have of them, or do you give them the benefit of the doubt? I mean for friendship, do you decide from the outset based on appearance or do you chat first and see what they are about? From my past-experiences, I have come to the conclusion that people make instant judgements about you and whether you are friendship material, just based on your looks and clothes aka, general appearance. More so that personality. I raise this in tandem with freshers week where new students are making new friends. I would say it's not very fair to judge a person before you know them. I like hanging around intelligent people. Do you think intelligent people are identifiable from their appearance? I wouldn't instantly think a blonde girl is intelligent, but she could potentially have the IQ of a genius as far as tabloid newspapers are concerned. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Difference between Love, Attachment and Sexual Desire
| I came across this article, which I found... intriguing...insightful.. I found this helpful, I want to share this, hope you find this helpful too. It is a site about deception/cheating... but I came across this site by searching for 'love without attachment' to find some peace for myself (spiritually/Buddhism way of life)... This doesn't just apply for infidelity, it is about relationship. Difference between sexual desire, love and attachment? - Truth About Deception Peace, Temperance | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
I'd rather spend money on my friends than on my girl
| So GTA 5 came out, my friend asked me to buy him a copy. So I did. Spent 38 pounds on him. My girl asked me to buy her an item of clothing. I told her I couldn't afford it, when really I could, but I didn't think it was a worthwhile investment. Did I do the right thing? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Why won't any girls go for dinner with me?
| So I have been looking for some eligible bachelorettes to go for dinner with me on here, but all of them keeping say no! How can I get them to say yes? All the rejections are hurting my feels | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)