How do I not feel like a *****?

I met the love of my life several years ago. I was her first, and until recently, only. When my girl and I first start dating (we now have a long distance relationship), she meets a guy in Brazil who tries to screw her - and tells me about him (obviously the PG version) - I tell her its bad news, not even knowing half the **** that was going on (extensive flirty gchatting, he being fresh with her, etc). This man knows all about me and that she's in a relationship. I don't know it at the time (I later read emails), but she's acting like a school girl in the way that she's sweating him - solely for physical reasons. A few years later, my girl and I go through some difficult times. She decides to stick it out. But, then that guy hits her up - supposedly out of the blue, telling her that he will be in town. I don't notice it, but immediately she is smitten with him all over again and all progress that I've made with her is lost. She meets up with him (doesn't tell me) and she's immediately hitting up her friends, fawning over physical characteristics of his that are completely different from mine. When he leaves town, she tells him how much she wants to sleep with him. Naturally, he is willing to oblige. They begin an electronic affair (he is also in a relationship). She starts sending him dirty photos of her (that she then later sends to me). She also dusts off a book on giving head in preparation for the next time that they will see each other. I go visit her on Valentine's Day weekend. She's hitting that man up the entire time that I am there. The day that I leave, she hits him up and asks him to come to town the next week to **** her (apparently they'd been planning a trip for a couple weeks. She books this man's flight and buys his ticket (although she claims that he paid for part of it). They have their evening. A couple months later, she realizes that she will never be more than his mistress and cuts him off and c omes clean to me. I'm trying to forgive (I've had indiscretions, but never like this). However, I can't get over how much of a ***** I feel like. How some man set out to **** my chick and did. How she was so caught up in superficial crap that she risked our relationship and broke my pride. I am trying to stick it out, but don't know how I can do so and still look at myself and feel like a man.

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