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Women are so strange

  • Thread Starter

There's this girl at my college, i do like her and i think she knows that.
She always smiles when she sees me, i tease her about different things and we both laugh.
Sometimes when its just me and her in the library and im talking to her, she stares at my eyes. Her eyes are beautiful and sparkly aswell.
However when i see her we talk for a bit she smiles at me and stuff but then she kinda ignores me and starts texting.
She's always texting though. Sometimes she hugs me for no reason and i've never seen her hug anyone before.

Is she playing hard to get or not? -.-

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Worried about seeing friend's housemate!

  • Thread Starter

I know it's probably a tad silly/immature to worry about this, but next weekend I'm going to a friend's house for an Xmas celebration and then going out later. I kissed her housemate nearly a year ago (he wasn't the only guy I snogged that night - I kissed a few others before him and he saw this.) I think he knew I was very, very drunk. He told me he really fancied me. I don't have any feelings for this guy whatsoever, but I know he'll be there next week and I'm worried it'll be a tad awkward, because we literally don't know each other at all - the night I kissed him was the longest conversation we'd ever had with each other. He also now has a girlfriend who will also be there.

I'm just worried things will feel really strained given that last time we saw each other we were snogging. I know a kiss is not a majorly big deal, but it still feels a tad awkward.

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post pics of your Christmas tree

It was hard to get in the mood this year. My 11 year old daughter gave me a little push, so I put up the tree and she and her friends decorated it, candy canes and all.

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Should I move back home or find a shelter and move on

It's been another year, almost 2 years, and I am still posting this at the 'considering' section.

I guess I finally have had it. He came home in the morning last Sunday... actually Monday early morning all drunk and fuxked up, disoriented and snapped at me.

A really long story short... first he wasn't working, bum out at home and drank away until I said I need to leave him. He went to rehab, sober for three years. But, he went sober, still no job no drivers license and get up at his 'night shift' hours, played pc games and smoke weed all day (or night). Financial crisis hit and there I needed to sell our house, and he didn't help nor contribute at all. I truly wanted to leave, he finally got a job and keep the job, but he started drinking heavily again. Even worse now, he verbal abuse me, gave me attitude, went out and come home in the morning all fuxk up.

Those are the negative things. Here's the positive things and that's why I stayed with him for so long. I feel love because he does the little things, like saying 'I love you' all the time. He would fold my PJ on bed before I go to bed and kiss me good night. He would buy me cute stuff like a cup cake with a happy face. We still hold hands walking our dog. I know all that sound so stupid for a grown adult woman but yes.. these are little thing he does that capture my heart. AND most importantly... he never gets angry for more than a few hours. That's not the case anymore.

Thinking about the whole time we were together for 15 years now. I have always felt that things are chaotic and unmanageable, and I thought it was me who couldn't handle keeping up.

Since last year at the hospital, crisis councelors, social workers, psychologist and psychotherapist, they all told me the same thing... 'get out'. They all told me he is emotionally abusive. I really didn't get what that means. Until now. Until I am totally broke, emotionally and financially broken. It takes a bankruptcy to wake me up. He is not a monster and I still love him very much, although I also get very angry and hate him at the same time.

I left on Monday, I just packed some clothes and took off. I left him a note with a rent cheque, said I cannot married to an alcoholic anymore. I am living in a hotel which I can only effort maybe for another week. I called the woman shelter, they told me space is not guarantee and they are temporary and have a strict schedule. My finance is picking up slowly I won't be able to sustain with all these bills to pay and moving out.

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Broken sex life

My husband and I went a year without sex (read story below for reasons why). After that he started forcing me to have sex with him. He would grab me and pull my clothes off. It hurt terribly because my body wasn't ready/wet and I would bleed. It hurt just as much emotionally. He wouldn't stop even when I was crying. One time I even passed out. He didn't bother to notice. This happened for quite a while. I started seeing a therapist about it, but she told me "of course you have to have sex with your husband!"... So I thought I was the one in the wrong. I eventually went to see another therapist, she had helpful things to say and got my husband and I talking about the sex issue and also his controlling behavior. So now he doesn't force me to have sex with him because I've explained how damaging that was to me (the forceful part). However, he makes me feel so intensely guilty for not having sex with him when I do turn him down. I usually turn him down because I don't feel safe. Also we go the whole evening not interacting (he watches tv for hours) why would I suddenly want to have sex with him once he gets into bed? I don't understand that. If we're not even having conversations/interacting I really don't know how I'm going to magically come up with a reason to have sex. We have no relationship connection so why does he think there's going to be a sexual connection? Also, if he wants to have sex he shouldn't use such lame pick-up lines like "hey I want to check your body for bug bites" (he used that this week), telling me that we're having sex tonight (he's not asking it's still kind of a command, also not spontaneous), and telling me which sexy outfit to wear to bed when I don't feel sexy or want to have sex with him.

I want to work things out with him, but I don't know how. I resent him. I even hate him some days. I've talked to him about how I feel regarding sex but when I talk about anything he's done wrong he gets so dramatic. If I stop talking about it he forgets how I feel. It's like he doesn't understand how I could possibly not want to have sex with him. On top of the emotional issues, sex with him just isn't very good anyway. We can never keep rhythm, his teeth hit me when we kiss, his breath somehow manages to be bad even after mouth wash, I don't orgasm, he gets soft some while he's in me, he says the weird things during sex and after sex he wants to analyze everything we did like a sports review. It's so awkward. He knows we have sex problems and yet when we do have sex, right before we start he like "oh oh let's do 69 or anal or something!". I'm barely able to emotionally handle having mundane sex with him, so when he says that I'm face-palming myself in my mind. lol. ugh.

Seriously, I need help. What can I do? My relationship is falling apart so fast.


-----
A little background history: I got married at 18 because my now-husband kept constant pressure on me about being "together forever". I'm a people pleaser and wasn't very relationship-smart at the time. I did say no the first time he proposed (we had only been dating a half of a year) but I eventually gave in. Later on he told me he tried to get me pregnant on purpose so we would stay together. Creepy. I didn't want children at all. One month I had run out of BC pills so we were using condoms and after sex he says "I hope it's okay I didn't use a condom?" and boom, I had a baby. He had a good job and then started flaking on it, saying it was "boring" and eventually quit. He forced me and my newborn baby to move back into his parents house (still filled with all his siblings btw) so he could go back to college and get a different degree. Before he quit and we moved I told him this will ruin our relationship, but he said "Oh it'll be fine". While I lived there his mother in law would say incredibly cruel things about me. I was sleep deprived from taking care of a baby, I had postpartum depression, unhappy about my living situation and depressed about my relationship. His mother just thought I had a bad attitude and wanted to smack it out of me. While I was living there I hardly even saw my husband, he was off playing with his brothers. He never helped me with the baby. His brothers were in the house doing drugs and bringing girls home to have sex with. I grew up very sheltered so this was culture shock for me. Once when I had to stay over-night in the hospital one of them robbed my room for drug money and his parents said it was my fault for leaving my things out (in my own room). During this time my husband and I didn't have sex for a year. And that's where my current problem started.

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Current European-Ukranian-Russian conflict

Hello there,

I'm interested to know your opinion on the current situation in Europe with Russia. I'm not sure how broadly it is broadcasted in the USA, so I will give a quick outline just in case. No one really seems to remember where it all started from, probably from the Ukranian conflict and Russia taking over Crimea region.
The things look worse and worse every day: there are recurrent news about unofficial Russian planes and submarines in the air and waters of the Baltic countries, as well as near Sweden. The Europeans countries reinforce their borders fearing the similar-to-Crimea invasion of Russia. Russians keep shut or denying. The USA imposes more and more sanctions against Russia and pushes Germany (the leading economy in Europe and up-till-recent the only pro-Russian country over here) into same.

Simple question: will there be war?

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Sometimes wonder if my hubby is cheating

Well most like not but... where to start.

My husband spends a lot of time working, like 60+ hours, he sometimes also is away on the weekends, skyped and I could see his hotel room.

My husband spends a lot of time talking with his buddy over the phone. He knows him from his time in the military and says that is why they share a special bond.
When he talked to him he often left the room.

He goes to the bar with his friend but never take me with them and in the past he rarely took me and our child places. Right now we are not going crowded places anyway because we have a new born.

He rarely tells me he loves me. Actually he is not very verbal, but he tells his friends "love you, man".
He does not act emotional or chatty with me but he will chat with his friend and other friends and on occasions closed to door because he wanted to talk about "men things".

... and sometimes the thought has crossed my mind that my husband is actually cheating on me with a man.

I dismissed the thought and hope that he actually is not like this.

Do you have a honest opinion?

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Sorry... need to vent again... feeling so overwhelmed

Don't quite know where to start. I think my husabnd ist just asking too much of me.

1. We have a big house and a garden and we have two children (one new born). We grow our own food. House is a upper-fixer, hubby wants to buy it. We have rented it now.
2. Hubby works a lot and sometimes isn't there for the weekend.
3. Hubby is a Vet and has OCD

I asked him to help me with somthing related to the children and he said basically no because he needs to work.

The work get's the best of him, I get the rest.

It's late in the night here. I am still awake waiting for him to return from meeting up with a friend.
He went to the bar with a friend and did not ask me to come. I am here with two children, our toddler is still awake sitting on my lap as I am typing that.

I might delete this thread after a while but I really need to talk yet.

To be fair he has helped with the children and did things when he was there but is rarely there...
I asked him to hire help for some things that needed to be done around the house but he said he was going to rise ealier so he could do it. Only that his alarm clock wakes me too and I don't get more than four hours sleep per night.

He also yells at night.

I feel he treats me not right. He treats me like a working-horse... and always puts his career and friends first.

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Something you only do for your SO

I was cleaning up today and shaving when I reached for some aftershave or cologne. I stopped because I am over 1300 miles away from my wife and she couldn't enjoy it.

She is a fragrance type of lady and loves the way I smell and really loves me with cologne.

I never wear cologne unless she can benefit from it.

It is something I only do for her.

What are some things that are done only for your spouse or SO?

Obviously I am talking about non sexual stuff.:D

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Those who stayed, what actions did you do

Right now I have a thread going about my hurt in my marriage. According to some my wife had at a minimum 2 EAs and possibly more. I have major trust issues and am on the verge of leaving. At the same time I have contacted a counselor who basically said he would encourage her to share with me what she is hiding. They have a one-hour session coming up.

In a perfect world (ok, not a perfect world, if it were a perfect world I wouldn't be on this forum) she would come clean. As I mentioned, she had met with a former boyfriend out of town (without telling me about it) and shared with him that she "still had feelings for him). Fast forward to about a year ago and I found out she was trading texts with him.

As I said, in my mind, at a minimum, this is an EA. She has never agreed to that label. So back to the somewhat perfect world, suppose she meets with the councilor and learns for herself that the best thing she can do for our marriage is tell the truth. What happens then?

If it was a physical affair, how much detail should I know. At a minimum I really want to know how much I was put at risk (my wife has a latex allergy). Is it ok to ask the number of times, types of sex acts, that sort of thing? Is it normal for the guilty party to say something like, "I will share with you everything you want to know?"

If I stay and I am willing to stick it out, what is a proper boundary? We are already having issues of what is appropriate in a marriage and what is not. We are already having issues about social networking, etc. Prior to all of this, I was never jealous about past relationships. Now, it bothers me that she is FB friends with former lovers (she says she is, but won't say who). Should she remove contact? Is it within my right to ask her to stop contact?

I found out what I know from snooping at emails and discovering texts she did not delete. She says I was invading her privacy. I say privacy is what you do in the bathroom and this was secrecy? Is it too controlling to read her texts, emails, etc?

I guess part of my issue is all the lies. I know what I know from being sneaky - something that bothers me that I did that. At the same time, I regret telling her what I found out because I think it drove her into hiding stuff more/better.

So, should I stay, what actions did those of you that were the cheated on spouse do?

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Gifts for adult "children"

I'm posting this because I'm stumped this year.....

Even though my son is grown now, I still get him a toy (big boy's toy) every year. But I cannot think of anything right now.

He's 25, working on a Master's Degree in Physics and lives at home. Right now he does not have any hobbies. His class work takes most of his time these days.

In the past few year I got him one of those small remote control helicopters.

Does anyone have an idea for a good gift?

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New on amazon; 55 gallon drum of lube

Forgive me as I had to share this somewhere. the reviews are a real laugh!

Amazon.com: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon: Health & Personal Care

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My boyfriend is too 'small' down there

  • Thread Starter

Ugh. I know this is a lame thread and all that, but I'm forced to make one because of my boyfriend's small penis. Yeah. That's the problem. And I wish it could be so insignificant as that sentence but it's just not. We had sex for the first time a few days ago, and ever since we did I've been worrying about his penis constantly. It's been driving me crazy...

Maybe it's just not small. It could be that he didn't do it right, but whatever the problem, I'm left feeling utterly deflated. I thought my first time was going to be special and meaningful but somehow it wasn't. He was so inexperienced and immature, slow, lazy and just ugh. When we were having sex, I felt like saying to him 'get off me, now. I hate you.' but I was just too afraid to do that.

I didn't measure it exactly, but from what I've seen elsewhere on the internet and such, it's definitely on the smaller side. It managed to go inside me a little bit, but I couldn't feel it at all? Maybe this is normal? I hate him so much. I really do. I thought he would at least learn how to make our first time something special, but he came unprepared, as I was on the one worrying if he'd brought condoms with him, as I can't take the pill due to medical reasons.

I think I'm going to have to end our relationship. No one disrespects me like he has, not ever... :mad:

Advice? :(

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Why do guys take long to take back?is he still interested?

  • Thread Starter

I've been chatting to this guy for a month We have swapped number he always asks about my plans for the day not yet asked me out directly only a couple times indirectly . He doesn't seem to be a big texter he's acting the same as he did at the start . We haven't met few days a go I text him seeing how he was suggesting we meet saying " we should meet up once you feel better (along with other) He replied back Awhh thanks I'm getting there slowly was a tough day at work felt so tired ye defo meet up I can even drive out to you"
I replied back asking suggesting things and when he was free and what he'd been up to.
2days later him: "Feeling better was a struggle. how are you? you get up to much today? tuned into xmas fm in my car today for the first time made me so happy x "
Me:happy to hear you're feeling better. Just was in the shop got to leave early manager was out. I'm really in the christmas spirit now too. What songs were playing? I'm loving Michael buble christmas album atm :)
Him next day :They were playing the old classics bit of last christmas , the pogues, love leona song too one more sleep. I locked my car keys in my car today would you believe had to pay 100 quid to get them back bad day for me x .
Me: The classics are brilliant love that Leona song too :) have her xmas album have you heard it? aw thats so expensive did you have to call someone to your work to open the door? just went to do more shopping almost finished . He hasn't replied yet been a day almost two now.
Is he interested?

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Do you sometimes try and avoid a guy you like?

  • Thread Starter

Sounds daft, but this is for girls who are shy and maybe trying to hide there feelings.
Basically if I'm walking in the direction of her she wil subconsciously start to walk off. This is not when were alone but when others are around. Do I scare her or something? She's repulsed by me? If she walks past me her head will be looking else where, and she barely looks me in the eyes only when i talk to her she will keep fairly good eye contact, occasionally looking down at the floor. Yet all of this if she's talking in a group she will most of the time be looking at me when talking. If she needs to give something to our team she will pass it to me.
I'm a bit confused by her, she just doesn't give me much at all, I'm starting to think what I've done wrong.

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Open Relationships?

  • Thread Starter

How do people on TSR feel about this?

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Girl and her friends ?

  • Thread Starter

I like this girl at uni and asked her for her to add me on snapchat and she sort of laughed and said im doing my ill give it to you later, not in a bad way I think she dosent want to seem easy.

I just thought ill take my chances, dont want to think about what might have been. But do you think she would have told her friends anything. They are in some of my lectures and she looks at me more now. So girls do you tell your friends things like this ? Like what would you say ? Im just curious.

She is quite talkative and confident.

I talk to her and have on facebook. I thought snapchat would be ok to ask as its not personal as a number.

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Will my parents find out I had unprotected sex?

  • Thread Starter

I had unprotected sex and went and got the morning after pill, but when I went the nurse asked if she could send over the info to my doctor back home. I said yes but now I'm really regretting it. My parents are very strict and I'm worried they'll somehow find out. Can my doctor back home tell them? What if my parents go in and ask about it? I'm 21.

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