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I just don't know!

Hi! I'm in year 11 now and since year 7, I've been best friends with a guy that all my friends say 'fancies' me, but I just don't see it, or for any reason why he'd like me. Obviously we get on really well because we've been best friends for almost 5 years, but he's very athletic, I'm really not! :p I just want to make it clear here that I'm not fishing for compliments (or insults, whichever) but I genuinely don't really like how I look, as a 5'1" girl, I'd say my legs are fairly long, but I just generally don't know how I look. Shoulder length dark brown hair, hazel eyes and no makeup! Although I always look tired, which this guy picks up on and will tell me to go to sleep earlier and whatever. Recently I haven't been feeling well and he's always asking how I feel and he's very sweet but I don't know if he 'likes' me. I have always pictured him as a friend but I've always been clueless when it comes to relationships and 'those' feelings. Today a load of my friends just came up to us and started asking us whether we were going out, I said 'no' but he stayed silent and when he was asked if he liked me he said 'no' while smiling and laughing nervously.... So I honestly don't know what is going on, have any guys acted like this guy? I just want to know!

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UCLan good for meeting new people?

I'm quite the introvert, and I'm going to UCLan. I'll go to events on freshers week etc but is it hard to meet new people outside of your class at UCLan?

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When did it come to this?

My husband and I have been together since we were 18, and we are now 26. We have two beautiful little girls (6yrs and 2yrs). We have been through it all together! We've always remained strong as a couple... until now. The past two years I have been in school finishing my degree in dental hygiene and he has been working as a lineman building power lines. His job has taken him all over and he is currently about 5 hours away from our home. Everything had been going just fine in our lives and we just purchased our first home together which we will be moving into next week. This last week he admitted to being an alcoholic, which was no surprise to me and had me pretty concerned about our marriage right then and there.
Now, fast-forward to Tuesday night- I call him when I know he should be done with work, and his phone goes straight to voice mail. So I figure he must still be working. He calls me back about an hour later, obviously drunk. He tells me they got done early and he read, and watched tv all day. RIGHT..... I'm not an idiot. I questioned his drinking and he gets belligerent with me. He tells me I am such a loser (in other not so nice words) because I haven't been working for the past two years and that I have no right to question him. I get mad and hang up. I try to call back later but he ignores my call.
Wednesday morning I get a text saying "I quit drinking, you have my word. I'm so sorry" Later I'm having lunch with my best friend and he calls me and says "I hit rock bottom last night." At that point I told him I'd talk to him later as not to alarm my friend. Later on he calls and says he felt bad to treating me like that, and I don't deserve it. I said that I know there has to be more. He breaks down almost crying and says "I got drunk and got cozy with a girl at the bar." I had to coax more out of him. He then came to tell me that he invited her back to his hotel, and he wanted to sleep with her. She left and he didn't even get the chance (obviously a smart lady because I hate him when he is drunk too). He said if she hadn't left he would have had sex with her. I was irate of course. I asked if he told her that he was married, and he didn't. I feel so violated. I almost feel like he did still cheat on me. I'm so hurt and bewildered. I've never done anythin g like this to him. I don't know where to go from here. He asked me if he should come home early, but I told him I was too upset for that. He comes home today and I am not looking forward to it. Worst part is, we are staying with his parents for a week until we can move in to our house. He keeps calling and texting me to apologize, but I don't even want to hear it. Where do I go from here??? I know he didn't actually cheat, I realize this but it still hurts!

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Is this puberty ALREADY?!?

A little background:
As of August of last year the child's mother and i started the process of a divorce. Naturally, we do not live in the same house, the temporary orders have granted me custody and we are almost a year in the process and set to HOPEFULLY finish it soon... *cross fingers*

I tend to my kids needs as any parent would - school lunches, im involved with their schools, i do homework with them daily, we go out to places and do things both for structure and fun, wead books, watch TV, go out for walks, etc, etc... I have been taking them to a therapist to help them deal with the divorce but i think her mother and i have done a pretty good job of keeping things between her and I and making the divorce as easy as possibler on them.

Both kids are currently healthy, doing well in school, and seem to be perfectly ok until recently: Over the past few weeks my oldest daughter (she is 8) has caught a NASTY attitude! She goes through mood swings at the drop of a hat, she can go from cold to BOILING HOT in seconds, shere has been a lot of attitudes and picking on her little sister; when i ask her what is upsetting her she is not willing to talk, if she gets mad she "shuts down" and there is nothing that anyone will say to get her out of that state but usually it passes within a few minutes and she is often back to her regular fun loving self!

This is nothing new to me - her mother used to do this and while we never did any arguing in front of them i am fearful that she is taking on some of those traits! I have tried and explained to her that talking about her feelings is completely acceptable and it is usually the only way things can get fixed - when two people communicate, it opens the road to fix the cause of the problem.

Yes, I realize she is a girl and i am a man, but I have never had any issues with her or my other child communicating anything with me - we have been very open and that is something i have always taken pride in as honesty and openness is something i was not always able to get from their mother (lol) so this is very frustrating to me.

Some friends have mentioned that it may be the onset of puberty - cases and studies have shown that puberty is starting to hit females at a much earlier age than what would be considered normal and if that is the case, then so be it but I just hate to see her get so upset and seeing her feeling out of control is stressful as hell!

We typically do a "debriefing" after such an event and I do this to reassure her that noone is mad at her and that it is ok to be in a bad mood somedays but that acting out and lashing out at others is not always acceptable.

Is puberty really hitting this early now days?

any thoughts, concerns or input on this would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you

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Should i be upset that guys dont give me attention when im out??

Hey all. Well, i dress very modestly and tend to wear clothes that dont really show my figure. I also wear minimal make up (foundation, eyeliner, mascara and a bit of lippy). When i'm out, i see guys checking out other girls and giving more attention to them than me during conversations and this lowers my self esteem.

When i dress nice, i do get attention and come home feeling happy but the thing is i feel like my happiness depends on the level of attention i receive from males. It might be something to do with not having my dad around but idk :(

any advice would be appreciated

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Armenian star

I don't know why this question just popped into my head right now, as it happened quite a while ago,
but why did Kim break up with Kris Humphries?
and what did she see in Kanye?
To me it looks she just prefers black guys.

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Suit game - 100% legit

So I had a lot of time to kill recently after I was banned off TSR for a week yet again [white knight mods of peace] and decided to venture out of my house for once. Haven't experienced fresh air for many months since I'm a TSR troll on TSR 24/7.

Anyway I bought this [cheap] three piece suit recently but made sure it was tailored well and fitted me well to accentuate my body [hard to show off body in a suit] and broad shoulders.

So anyway I don't usually go to bars since I don't drink, but go sometimes just for lulz with mates. So we made plans to go to just catch up on stuff after starting. Now the bar we planned go to to is predominantly frequented by students but also has quite a lot of locals as well, so it's a pretty casual bar as you can probably already tell. I thought why not test out how it is to go to a student/casual bar dressed like a man in a three piece suit.

Surprising results actually. Went with a three piece grey suit with a pocket square and tie [this is just overkill for the occasion. I was way overdressed]. As you already know, students don't really dress much for just bars [don't know about clubs since I never go but I can tell they probably wear crappy striped t shirts or some other crap] so already I feel like a million bucks stepping into the bar. Shoulder blades back, chin up I am walking into this bar like I own this place. Had a little bit of banter with my mates going on as they were calling me out for dressing like this. So we find this table to lay back, drink and have a chat. Already I can see this guy on the table next to me laughing at me with a guy next to him and as time goes on he starts getting more obvious by pointing at me. This kid was, what looked like to me, the typical hipster, neck beard, beanie, the whole package. Probably was a typical TSR male feminist, bleeding heart poster.

I really don't care what people think of me, but there is a line to be drawn and you have to make sure you don't become someone's bitch. After a while I've had enough of this guy and walk over to his table, slap him firmly on the back and do the whole ''didn't we have a class together in the first year'' routine [found this classical routine online, works a charm], needless to say he retreats verbally quickly. The other guys on his table seemed quite nice, I actually knew one of them, to me so I make some small talk with the table and leave after a while. No one mentioned anything about the suit.

So as I go back to the bar and waiting for my drink, this girl comes up to me and opens me with ''So why are you dressed like this in a suit?''. I reply ''I'm working for a secret Government agency'', take out my mobile phone and say ''she's onto us'' jokingly. She laughs and flirtingly punches my arm ''watch out you don't wanna break your knuckles there'', make some small talk and she tells me where she's sitting with her friends and wants me to come. I decline politely giving a BS excuse but get her number [wasn't really there to focus on one girl or a bunch, just wanted to see more reactions to epic suit game].

Later on a girl just came up to me, took my square pocket out unfolded it, folded it back and put it back. Obvious opening was obvious, proceeded with small talk, got her number but didn't really take it further. She told me ''I love men who wear suits''. Wasn't really looking for any girls this night because I just couldn't be bothered and had some work to do next morning as well so had to leave early anyway. But honestly I could have easily got that bang that night with this girl, the vibes she was giving, oh lawd.

Overall I'd say in terms of girls, they either loved it and went crazy for it or just hated it and thought you were some upper class tit. In terms of guys it was much more tough, nearly every guy was giving me dirty looks and surprisingly many were acting aggressive, trying to get one up on me passively [ie the guy laughing but ****ting his pants when confronted], whereas I thought that many would have been scared because suits would look intimidating, wouldn't dare to say anything and be more accommodating such as moving out of the way when I'm walking through, kind of like how people treat you when you have a fully grown out beard. Lots of girls making eye contact so I can vouch for the fact that wearing a suit, even to a student bar where it's extremely out of place, is effective. Don't wear it to a low class pub filled with chavs you'll probably get stabbed before even stepping in. Also don't wear one if you haven't got a strong frame and are gonna be looking around the room every second scared that someone is gonna punch you from behind.

Interesting to also note that the cost of the suit does not matter. All what matters is the fitting. No girl will be able to tell the difference between a poverty cheap second hand suit and a £1000 top of the range suit. I always lol at guys who buy extremely expensive suits but they don't even fit well.

Cliffs:

- OP goes to bar with a three piece suit
- OP out alphas a hipster who laughs at him
- OP gets eye ****ed by a lot of girls
- OP has to deal with guys whose egos are on the line
- OP says suit game is effective
- OP probably won't be going to the same bar, or any other bar for that matter, any time soon as the night he experienced typifies everything he hates with the student culture.

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Why is being a lesbian so much more 'unusual' still than being a gay male?

I've known I'm a lesbian for years and years, but still feel like society isn't remotely used to seeing two feminine looking girls together. In fact if you saw two girls like this linking arms down the street the fact they may be a couple probably wouldn't cross many minds at all.

I feel like lots of gay men are breaking the 'camp' stereotype now so that people have a 'gaydar' on all the time for all kinds of men, but this doesn't seem to be the case at all with women. And I'm sure it can't be the case that every lesbian wants to be butch necessarily, I think many are just like me and feel too embarrassed/ashamed/alone to come out because society would find it shocking, quite frankly (and that includes my family and friends sadly).

I went on a date for the first time with a girl I met online this week and she was super pretty (just like an ordinary girl you'd pluck off the street), but we had 3 groups of student guys coming over to try chat us up throughout the evening. It kept ruining the moment, and pulling us both back into reality about how hard it is for lesbians like us (she feels the same as me in terms of feeling like it's a total rarity). I dunno, it just sucks!

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I'm gonna try again after the holidays,

So at this time last year my wife and I were having many problems both in and out of the bedroom, and we just can't stop arguing and name calling about every little thing. And she has made it very clear that she doesn't think "she" needs counseling and that most of the problem is me, and to me that is a big part of our problems right there(her self denial). Well I had planned on asking her for a separation last January after the holidays to see if we could work things out from a distance, but she somehow sweet talked me into staying and promised to adjust her attitude and be nicer. Well that worked for about 4 months and I did see her trying to change and in return so did I, but after that wore off and stress set in we began fighting ugly again and now it's back to being a total mess and our sex life sucks too.

So after the holiday season passes I am going to try and get up the nerve to leave and not let her talk me out of it, and I know some will say do it "now" but I personally don't believe that you ruin everyone's holiday season to solve your own problems. We both get along great with each other's families and most of them are unaware of what is going on, and so to announce in a few weeks that we are splitting up would not only ruin our holidays but will selfishly bring everyone else's down too. Not to mention that it's verrrrrry depressing to be alone for the holidays.

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Interesting Study

I heard about this study a couple years ago (can't remember who did it or what country) and thought I would throw it out there if anyone wants to comment.

The study showed that guys are attracted to, and will go after, women he thinks are hot. It doesn't matter how good looking he is, or how good looking he "thinks" he is, he goes for the women "he" perceives as a 10.

Women, on the other hand, will be attracted to the men she "perceives" as her visual equal. So the woman could be a 10, but perceive herself to be a 5 and thus go for men she perceives as a 5. Or she could be a 3 and perceive herself as an 8 and go for that.

What say you?

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What should I do?

This is a long story as I want to provide as much detail and background as possible. My wife and I have been together 7 years and married 6. We have a 5 year old and two 2 ½ year olds. I am 47 and my wife is 38.

My wife was married once before for two years. Before her marriage she had a couple boyfriends. She was with her ex husband for 8 years. After her husband and before the other guy she ended up living and getting engaged to she had a quick fling with her first boyfriend. Then once she was divorced she got engaged and was living with the other guy for 3 years. This is important because I think this goes to the root of what might be the issue. She has always went straight from one relationship to the next. There were never any pauses where she hasn't been with anybody and been alone (but whose fault is that?). She calls herself "relationshippy".

I was never married and only in three long relations ships. I got really hurt by my first love and it took me a long time to get over it. I have dated over 100 women, but things never progressed that much in those relationships. Before my wife I basically was by myself for over 10 years.

In the bedroom she has been with me and the two other guys she was in long relations ships with. She also admitted after years that she did sleep with her first boyfriend while seperated before her divorce was finallized and before she was with the guy she got engaged to. She said it was a one time thing and she didn't count him. I have been with 6 women, two for long periods, but I was not with anyone for a long time before my wife. I've fooled around with a lot of women and had many other chances to sleep with women but declined some for a variety of reasons.

She has tons of rules in the bedoom, she doesn't like a lot of stuff. She likes when I go down on her for a long time, but she only goes down on me for a minute or two and then will ask about regular sex. She is not adventurous at all. I would love to try new things with her but she is very straight laced and does not seem interested in anything else. Before we were married our sex life was much better. It was more frequent. Now our frequency was about once a week and now it's up to about twice a week. But I almost always 99% initiate it and sometimes she will just lie there. I pretty much do all the work and she lies there anyway. Even when she is on top I have to move her. She says I am a great lover and very passionate. I think she is inhibited and a somewhat selfish lover, but that really has only dawned on me recently.

Anyway the story is that my wife and I had a few drinks last weekend and she brings up what would happen "if" we got divorced. She has never brought this up prior and it hit me like a bomb. Would we always be civil to each other always? I told her I didn't know (I lied), it would obviously have a lot to do with why we got divorced. In the back of my mind I was like "if" we got divorced I would make your life a living hell, but I didn't know if that would be a smart thing to say or not so I kept it to myself. I was sorted stunned by the whole thing and really couldn't fathom where this was coming from. She was like well you'd get to see the kids on all the major events in their life and have them for the weekend and that divorce didn't really effect kids. I told her that divorce had a huge impact on kids, unfortunatly the kid across the street from us OD just last year and his father blamed it entirely on the divorce. She said what if she was miserable, should she stay, I said I would stay for my kids. I also asked her what did she want, you've got a loving husband, three great kids, a nice home, and wonderful job? What the F more do you want? I also went on to say that if I knew that we were going to leave each other, I wish we never had kids in the first place as I couldn't bear to be away from then for so long. I couldn't just see them every other weekend. There are other reasons which I didn't say, such as I wouldn't trust any other man to be around my kids and replace me, it would pretty much be over my dead body. I have read too many stories of non blood relatives killing or molesting little kids.

After a bit she changed the conversation to say you have me for another 18 years (until the kids are raised) but since she has been divorced before that I should make sure I have a plan B for if something did happen and we did get divorced. She told me not to put all my eggs into one basket to which I replied I did when we got married. To be blunt I can't tell what she wants. Is she preparing me for an eventual divoce when the kids are older? Does she have the 7 year itch and want to see other guys?

Then after the "if" we divorce conversation, before I have time to absorb the whole thing, she brings up maybe we should try out swinging or a threesome. I really don't think she knew what these exactly meant, but I think she might have wanted to see if I would be OK with her seeing or sleeping with another guy. The next day she said that she was just kidding about these things, BUT it would be OK if I had an affair as long as there were no feelings involved. She has said stuff about open marriages before, but just little remarks here and there. She went on to say that when she and I first got together that she really had wanted to be single and play the field for at least six months. That was a true statement, however we became exclusive because she wanted us to become exclusive two months into our relationship. I asked if she missed sowing her wild oats and she said no. But she keeps bringing up having an open marriage. Since she knows I won't cheat she would be the only one benfitting from that situation. I told her I wasn't interested in that. I also went on to say that open marriages and all the other stuff (swinging or a threesome) with other people really just starts down the road to divorce. She was like what if the threesome was another women. I told her I was uncomfortable with that as well and I don't think she would really ever do this, I think she was just seeing if I would want it so she could throw it back in my face later on, well you wanted to have a threesome with another women…

I should also point out now that even though this conversation started after a few drinks, the follow up me clarifying what she meant took place over the course of a week with me basically checking to see if I understood her correctly.

Deep down I think she might want to date other men because she thinks she missed something. I am not OK with that. It's not OK with me. It's a deal breaker. She hopped into bed with me quickly and dating with her I think would lead right her right into someone else's bed.

She has told me she has never cheated and never had the opportiniy to. But that night when I asked her if she had the opportunity to she stumbled over her words which implied to me she has at least had the opportunity. However when I brought it up again she stated she never has had the chance and I did beleive her.

Please be aware that some of the facts as I now know it in my relationship with my wife I did not find out until several years later. For instance I did not know at the time that when she found out her sister was having her second baby that all she wanted was kids. When I asked her, why did you marry me after the "if" conversation, her first answer was "I want kids more then anything else and I knew you would make a great father." Not much to do with me there .

Other things she has said throught the course of our relationship are that I treat her like gold, far better then anybody else had and that she knows I would do anything for her (which is not true now that we had this recent conversation, I wouldn't share her).

This whole conversation has really bothered me, I had sleepless nights. My wife reassures me that I have her for years, at least 18. She isn't going anywhere. But the fact that when sober she tells me it would be OK if I had an affair and that she just wants me to be happy even if that meant I ended up with another woman and left her (to which I told her was a bunch of BS and that I don't believe that for a second) and the fact that she seems to have spent a lot of time thinking about this really bothers me.

I do not think she has had an affair (99%). Do you think she has, or was just contemplating it, on the verge of one, still is? Just trying to feel me out, if I would let her have an open marriage, see other men? I do not want to lose her and want to make sure that she understands this would be a deal breaker. What steps do I need to take, what should I be doing to make my marriage last and prevent something from happening?

The initial conversation was 10 days ago. My wife and I have not spoken about in a week. We had a very nice Saturday night together, however this is still weighing on mind. It's tough to think of far off events and then think to yourself, that's only "if".

Now it has been another 10 days and things seemed to have been getting back to normal, but my I noticed my wife being very short with me and cutting our phone conversations short. We start to talk and this conversation comes up again and new information comes out. This all started after she saw a medium. Apparently the medium told her I wasn't her soulmate. A bunch of other "bad things" which she refused to elaborate on.

So these are the facts now:
She doesn't feel I am her soulmate
She says she still in love with me, but I obviously doubt that
I asked her if she wanted a divorce so she could seacrh for her soulmate and she said no
I said that we should see a marriage counler which she thought unneccassary at this time.
She said that she isn't considering divroce at all
This all started after she saw a medium (Fortune teller)

I'm am very confused as to what to do:
See a marriahge counciler
Let it rest a bit
Please help

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What do you think about the AM have an affair site

I'm totally disgusted. AM stands for ****** *******. It's a money making scam for the guy who heads it and he's ruining my life. They claim on the site that (and here's there motto "Life's too short have an affair". My husband was obessesed by it and addicted. After he gets home from work he spends hours on it. On his days off he's on it three times a day. I am devistated and am being tormented over the whole thing. He has emailed and received emails from one that I know. She has sent him some very ugly photos of her genitals. I have read many of the posts on this site and most of them, male and female say that if the person was getting the intimacy that they deserve from their marital partner then they would'nt have to stray. That's garbage in my case because he gets what he wants when he wants it. He claims it's just a "hobby" and that he has not had sex with any of them (he used to play XBox). He gets texts and emails at home and phone call s at work from these women. It's not free and how dare he talk to me about spending money when it costs $250.00 in the long run to get these phone calls, messages and texts.

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Has being unfaithful become easier for women?

Interesting article in the London Telegraph.

Has being unfaithful become easier for women? - Telegraph

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Another Weight Issues Thread

Last night I decided to directly discuss the lack of sex with H. We're down to once a week if I'm very lucky, but it's more like once every 10-14 days. If I turn him down (which happened this week due to fatigue), I regret it; he initiates maybe once every three months. The rest is all me.

He was diagnosed Type II diabetic, high cholesterol and moderate BP a yer ago August, and lost 75 lbs, then gained 25 back. he weighs 195-200ish at 6' tall, and had weighed 250 or or so at his highest, for 3+ years. ETA: He weighed 225ish when we married.

After he ducked and dodged a little, I directly asked him if my weight gain had anything to do with his lack of apparent interest in me, and if it had to do with the limited number of positions we use during sex. Then...the long pause. "Yes. Nobody's attractive when they gain weight, but I do still love you and have sex anyway."

That kills me. I got mad and replied "I f*cked you when you were 250. Cut the crap", then I exited the conversation a few sentences later. He really didn't have much of a response.

First, here are my current stats, from a webmd calculator which is a little more comprehensive than the NIH one:
Gender: Female
Height: 5' 0"
Age: 43
Current Weight: 130
Current Pant Size: 12
Weight Goal: Lose 2 pounds per week
BMI: 25.4
Waist to Height Ratio: 0.55
Healthy Body Weight Range: 95 and 128
Target Heart Rate: 89 to 133
Target Caloric Intake to Meet Weight Goal: 1200

I know I'm 15-20lbs over my own comfort zone; my hips and sciatica are telling me that. I also know I'm only 10lbs over my weight when we married 5.5 years ago. I'm improving eating, and not exercising like I should. I'll begin walking today, and we can't afford gyms, etc. No equipment here at the house. ETA: I've been parking at the back of parking lots, and taking my disabled chld out more often, which means loading a 60-lb kid, then his 30lb wheelchair into an SUV.

My weight and body image are mine (and the body image wasn't great to begin with.) But for him to throw this HUGE double standard at me? Total PA BS. It's yet another way he avoids accountability for skewed beliefs (the hypocrisy that he was entitled to sex while obese, yet I'm not at 'mildly overweight'), confrontation and communication.

Throw me ideas; I've been taking weight action for 2 weeks. It looks like I'm toning up but haven't lost weight. (See my perimenopause thread.) I have no desire to have sex with him now. None.

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Are my requests unreasonable?

Been married for over 16 years. Sex frequency is good, but fairly routine. Same stuff. Same progression.
I want to spice things up and throw in some variety to the routine. Wife is open to some but not others.
For instance, 69 is no problem. She watches porn with me. That's good and spicy, right.
Well, I have a few requests that just aren't happening...
1) talking dirty. Love it. Want it. Nothing outrageous, just a little taboo talking.
2) oral sex in some different position like standing, or in a chair, just something to allow better visual. She says it makes her feel submissive to do,this.

I don't see these requests to be outrageous. I'm not asking for anal, s and m, cumming on her, bondage, or 3 somes.

My problem is that she is controlling the variety of our sex life. I feel like my desires are being ignored.

On the one hand I shouldn't complain because I'm getting sex, but on the other, I feel like my desires don't count.

Am I being unreasonable?

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Distinguishing if she likes me or is just being friendly (with a plot twist)

Heyo all,

There is a girl who lives in my hall (30 people max) who I know. We often happen to brush teeth together in the bathroom and have a chat. I would say she does like me on a purely person-level, a.k.a. ...well you know what I mean, just friendly level.

She is all friendly with me when we are alone and I think she does like talking to me (on a level where we don't really know each other well), but when we're both around other people (common or not common friends), she doesn't really pay any attention to me (not that I actually engage in a conversation with her or anything), nothing more than just a random person who's around. (for example - once we were in the common room with other people and they were discussing going out. At that point I came into the room and said hi to a few people and at first she didn't seem to notice me, but after around 10 seconds or so she looked at me and smiled a little, which I interpreted as a silent "hello", to which I replied in the same way. She always smiles a bit when we come across each other (and when others won't see her smiling at me?))

The answer to this is not just "oh she's being polite when she speaks to you in person", because there are ways of communicating to the other person that you don't like talking to him, and believe me, the signals are the complete opposite.

I may be fooling myself, but I think she likes me just a bit, but she doesn't want to show it in front of other people? Like, not showing any special interest?

Lol I am confused so I think this may be confusing for you as well, so please ask and you shall be answered.

Thanks.

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Girls: how do you feel if the guy always pays?

So I'm in a relationship with a girl who's at university and who lives at home/doesn't have a part time job at the moment. I myself work full time and as such I pay for everything on dates without exception.

We don't generally do anything super expensive but we do go to the occasional show/musical/drinks/restaurant, generally about once a week.

At the very beginning the girl offered to pay her share, then I said that as I'm the only person earning money and so for a while she didn't say anything about the cost. Then some time ago I mentioned that perhaps we could be a bit more conservative in our activities and since then she's become more conscious of what things cost.

Anyway I'm wondering what a girl for whom everything is paid for feels like/thinks about the situation? Does she feel like she 'owes' the guy something? Or does a girl take it for granted that a guy's supposed to pay? Does it make her uncomfortable to be treated every single time?

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ObamaCare's War on Women

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thorpe park

so their is this thing in thorpe park called fright night and is only available for a certain time however my friends dont have the time or money to go as were all only 17, so i was wondering do you think it is sad to go alone or is their an alternative you can think of

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I'm tired of cheating. How can I make my husband be the man I want him to be?

Ok I know people frown on this kind of thing so I will get this out the way first.

I've been cheating on my husband for the past 3 years!

The other man works on the same job as me. It was originally just a fling and eventually became an entirely new relationship. This man was everything my husband used to be when we met. Funny, handsome, athletic.....he had it all. I know that being in this relationship was wrong but I was being selfish and trying to live my own life without thinking about my husband or children.

I've sensed my husband has always knew something was wrong and I believe that's why he has tried so hard to please me. We've been to countless marriage sessions to try to "work" on our marriage but none of it ever worked. All of this constant pressure really took a toll on me. I made a pact with the man that I was sleeping with and we both agreed to divorce our spouses and be with each other. We were together for so long that I felt this was the right choice for me to be happy.

So I separated from my husband earlier this year against his wishes. He wanted to stay and try to make things work but I knew in my heart that I was in love with someone else and that there was nothing my husband could do to make this work.

Now what does my true lover go and do? He goes to Cancun with his wife and renews his wedding vows!!!!!

He didn't tell me but I just found out this week. I'm so hurt and didn't know that he could hurt me so bad. All this time, he claims he wants to be with me. Now he decides he wants to be with his wife. Oh and get this, he still wants to keep having sex with me. That's just not going to happen.

So I've decided that I want to work things out with my "almost" ex husband. We've been talking this week and he wants to come back home and try again. I really want to give him another chance and I want to know what I can do to change him into the man I originally married. I feel like he has taken me for granted all these years and that's what caused me to cheat. I never wanted to hurt him but we both deserve to be happy. I want him to treat me like the queen I am and to stop going through the motions.

Sorry for the rant and I'm sure I left something out. I know this marriage can't be a lost cause and I need to know what to do to make it work.

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I need help!

I am a therapist in training and I am getting a slew of couples in my practice for infidelity...

I have extensive training in couples work but not this...more along the lines when they both want to work on it... But that is not what is coming through my door:(

A few surprising things for me to realize:

90% of the cheaters are female up to this point in my practice

The female gender strayers are not willing to work on it. It seems that when they check out and start emotionally bonding with another they completely shut off the spouse, family, and even their children.

The male gender strayers are willing to fight for the marriage and change what ever then need to get the family back and to keep the wife.

**please note I am making generalizations here as I just want a narrow response to help the people sitting before me**

I need to know what is going through the strayers mind... I get the biochemical reactions, I understand the lust stage, but there has to be something that I can do the snap them out of the fog??

[B]Those that have cheated:[B] Why did you do it, what were you searching for, how did you stop?

[B]Those that have been betrayed:[B] Explain your heart ache to me please, I need to understand the rawness of this wound and what it did to you; initially, as time went on, and as you exist today. Can you share why they said they did it? How did it end?

They say only 3% of couples that start out as affairs make it long term... And if I believed all my strayers I have the lucky practice where that tiny percent have migrated too.... arg! It is all the same just different names:(

I understand there is a lot of hate and disapproval placed on the cheater in this forum and I get that fully, however I am in this profession to help and I help the them all: the cheater, the betrayed, and the children.

But how can I help when the cheater doesn't understand the language I am speaking....

Thank you in advance for take the time. You all are so wonderful on here and provide such a sense of strong community and to that and for those that need it I am so grateful to you:)

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23 Whole People Enroll in South Dakota

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Do You Understand Wife's Emotions?

Curious here as to whether men understand their wife's emotional side or if when she speaks/cries it is completely foreign to you, you don't want to get near it, you say virtually nothing and think to yourself, "what a mess, she wears her heart on her shirt sleeve?"

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