| I'm feeling really disconnected from my partner and well, I don't know how to bring back that feeling of being connected and knowing what's going on in his life... Some days we don't really bother talking to one another, which really bothers me because it doesn't seem to make a difference to him. | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
How do I reconnect with my partner?
Need some advice on what to do
| My girlfriend of over 2 years is involved in some serious family drama right now. I do not want to go into details because of the nature of the situation, but her sibling was involved in a fight that caused serious injury to the other person, and the sibling could be in serious legal trouble. How this ties into the relationship....an article was published about the fight on a newspaper's web site. In the comments section, there were many very negative and cruel comments. I know the person involved and had a different take on what happened. Reading these comments made me very angry. I ended up creating a username and posting a few comments of my own to defend the sibling. Sibling saw the comments and called my girlfriend, thinking that there was a witness who could testify for him. She read the comments and apparently recognized my writing. She then called me and told me how stupid it was for me to do that and that it was "the last straw." We have had problems in our relationship, which were mostly my fault. Both of us drink regularly. We've had a couple of disagreements where I lost my temper and yelled at her. On one occasion, we went out for dinner and drinks and tried to catch a cab after. The cab driver was very rude and did not want to pick us up because his shift was almost over, or something - I don't remember all of the details. I was drunk and I slammed my fist on the hood of his car as he drove away. There was another incident where the girl and I got into an argument and I threw her cell phone across the room. She brought all of this stuff up the other night and said that she started to lose feelings for me after the cell phone incident, which happened over a year ago now. She said that posting comments on the web site was the "last straw" for her because she thought that I was meddling in her family's business and creating more drama for them instead of being supportive to her during a tough time. I met with her yesterday afternoon and tried to get her to reconsider. She wouldn't do it. About four hours later, around 11 at night, she called me, crying, and asked me to come to her house. I came over. She was a mess and very upset about the family drama. I consoled her and we ended up spending the night together at her place - but nothing happened. This morning, she said that she still hadn't changed her mind about our relationship. I told her that it was my fault, that I had not been paying attention to what was important, and that my priorities were screwed up. Also that I was fairly certain all of the bad fights/arguments were the result of both of us drinking too much, and that I wanted to change that. I said that I felt that I had failed her and our relationship, and I wanted an opportunity to make things right. Would she consider taking a few days or even a week off, and then we can start again on a fresh slate? She said that she did not know if she could do that, but she would think about it and that she has not made a final decision about whether she wants to be with me. I really feel like I am bearing the brunt of the family drama. At one point she even said, "I can't break up with my family but I can break up with you." Do you think that if I give this a few days and give her some space, she will come around and realize that perhaps her anger towards me was misplaced? Or do you think that she is just trying to be nice and avoid a confrontation by telling me that she will "think about it"? | |||
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Help! Does she like me? I hope not!
| I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 9 months, we are at university and I love her to bits. She does too. We have a common friend whom we both get along really well with. However, I talk to her quite a bit on Facebook and in person. We have a lot in common and have similar tastes(something which my girlfriend and I also share). Now, this friend of ours has been talking to me a bit 'extra' on Facebook over the past few days, even asking me if I'd like to go with her to this event she was going to. Today, we spoke on Facebook for over 2 hours and were talking about everything under the sun, and having so much fun. Towards the end of the conversation, she said 'Ok I'm going to say something really corny. When I speak to you, I feel like I'm speaking to a long-lost twin. You think eerily like me'. That was a bit funny. And weird according to me. We also speak about my girlfriend and I told her how much I loved her. I'm just a bit confused. Am I overreacting unnecessarily? | |||
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Happy couples
| I hate them. Whenever I see/hear about a happy couple I hope they break up. They just piss me off with their smugness. Is this irrational? | |||
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I'm afraid I'm shutting down
| I have previous posts for background, but here is where I am currently. H and I had another blow out...well, more than another..but the last one he finally pushed me to spilling everything. I still couldn't tell him I don't respect him (although I believe he knows this) but I did tell him I don't trust him. I told him that his "daddy" issues are getting old and his self worth/self esteem/happiness within himself is not my responsibility and frankly it's a burden. He promised me months ago he would go to IC with our counselor and work on his issues, of course that has not happened. I pointed that out. His excuse is he's busy, he works, he "helps" me with OUR children and I don't want him to have any time off. I told him if I had used "I'm busy" when he told me to seek IC (which I did!) that he would've told me my priorities sucked. Of course he says I am comparing myself to him to make him the bad guy. He tells me he is tired living with a cold and tuned out person, that I am 100% mom and no longer acting as wife. He is right. I am checked out and have been for awhile. I am trying to find my way back and failing so far. We had this last argument on Wednesday night. I thought he may call for counseling in Thu or Fri...nope! After finally getting my feelings out I went to bed late that night & watched him sleep. I felt bad for him, I hurt for him. I know he doesn't want to lose his family. I know he doesn't have the self worth that he should, and his compensating for that is what makes him such an azz. I felt his brokenness and, for the moment, some of my anger has dissipated. I am back to feeling pressing anxiety. I've never had an anxiety problem but it is becoming overwhelming. If I'm not anxious about his job, his school or our financial security, it's about him, our marriage, him simply being around when quite frankly I don't want him here. It's getting to the point I'm about to talk to my doctor. I am such a ball of mixed emotions, shutting down, anxiety, and hope that I don't know what to do. Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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Scumbag?!?
| Hi Everyone, I would just appreciate some feedback about my current situation with my husband. We have been married for 3 years and together for 11. My husband cheated in the beginning of out relationship, and I told him that the only way I would get back together with him is if we had "transparency" and counseling. He agreed and we pretty much worked everything out, which is why we ended up getting married. However, I just recently saw an email that he sent to some girl that really alarmed me. He sent her a pic of him and I (which I don't understand why he would send a pic with me in it) at a cool event and told her that he is respecting her text ban, but he thought she would be proud of him. He asked her to "break the silence" and be excited for him. He later forwards her some other article about getting into med school which she was apparently trying to do. Someone responded to that email for her telling him to stop contacting her because she doesn't want to communicate with hi m. They told him to "cut the crap" and that the past is the past and he should leave it there. He also said that if my husband contacts her again he would find him in person and not be so understanding. I later found out that she is in her early 20s and beautiful (and he is almost 40). My gut is telling me to run, but does this have "AFFAIR" written all over it? | |||
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My Sad Story
| I have been reading these threads for a week now and although I know what I should be doing, the question is how to I get there? Here is my story: I'm 44 & my wife is 48. We have been married 19 years and are best friends. I thought we had a great marriage overall, but things changed drastically a few weeks ago. We got into an argument and I mentioned a separation. I think I did it more as a threat, which backfired. She wholeheartedly agreed and it was like a switch went off in her head. Her whole attitude changed. She said she didn't love me anymore and has not been overly happy for the past couple of years. It hit me like a brick, she was so caring before. I honestly thought our marriage was good. I told her we could work on our marriage and any issues we have. She said she is tired and is past that point. We are separating, but she says divorce is the long term answer and won't agree to therapy or anything. Right now, she said she needs her "space". It's hard for me to understand how you can be best friends and spend all your extra time with someone, tell them you love them one day and then bam, move on and become so disconnected. In her defense, she says when she is nice or sympathetic, I take it the wrong way. She travels a lot for work so she has been out of town for a week. We used to text or talk several times a day when she traveled, but now she will only text or call if I beg her. Today I texted her and asked her to call me. She did and when I talked to her she seemed happy and was shopping? Shopping? I can't even get out of bed I'm so distraught. I ended by saying I loved her and she said "OK" which has been the norm. I have done all the wrong things-text her constantly, call, begged, cried, etc.. Again, I know these are wrong, but I just can't understand how she can seem so OK with this. I have even had suicidal thoughts lately, although I don't think I could ever do that. A little about me - It's been a rough couple years, which makes this timing even worse. We moved here a couple years ago. She has a well paying job and loves her career and is very busy. I started a business which failed and had to file for bankruptcy. I have been unemployed for a year now. So she travels the country and I sit home waiting for her to call to tell me about her day. Anyways, this whole experience has made me realize how co dependent I am (emotionally and financially) which I never realized. I can't sleep, eat, or exercise. I get so upset I almost puke. I started smoking, which I haven't done in many years. All I think about is what I did wrong and how to get her back and how life would really suck without her. When I get this way, what do I want to do? - text or call my her! This week I went to the doctor who set me up with some anxiety meds and I also made an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow. But I'm not very optimistic. So, she comes home tomorrow. She has told me to take my time in moving out-she knows I don't have a job and no money or friends here. My confidence is at an all time low. The problem is, with her seemingly moving on with her life, it makes it hard for me to be in the house with her, because all I want to do is talk about our relationship, beg, cry, and smother her, which she obviously wants no part of. Again, I know the answers are to get help, leave her alone, exercise, and eat right, do the 180, etc... But I just can't get my mind and body to do these things because she is my best friend and always talked to her about anything. Each day (and night) is absolutely hell. I have a chance at a job about an hour away. I thought if I got the job, maybe I could get an apartment there. Also, my family is many miles away in the midwest. But my sick mind tells me if I move there, then there would be no chance for reconciliation. That's my story. I don't think anyone has the magical answer, but thought I would share and maybe it will make me feel a little better to put it in words. Thanks for listening. | |||
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My girlfriend won't allow me any space?
| Firstly I'd like to apologise for the length of it, but as I've got nowhere else to turn you'll have to bear with me. Dear reader, thank you for reading my essay! At the beginning of my first year at university I split with a long term girlfriend who I had been dating since I was 14. We reasoned that it would be difficult to maintain a relationship over long distances especially in what would be a trying and stressful year of our lives. Lip service was paid to our getting back together if all turned out well but I now believe that we used our departure to universities at polar ends of the country as an excuse to leave a relationship which was becoming increasingly dysfunctional. Having been in a long term relationship I was woefully inexperienced at the whole dating game and despite going on a few first dates as well as briefly seeing a girl who turned out to have severe mental health problems in my first year I made precious little progress in my love life. Perhaps I held out some hope that I would get back together with my ex, definitely the 'easy option'. Over the summer of 2012 we made positive steps towards rekindling our romance but returned to university in October and when, during a visit home at the end of that month my mother announced that my ex's mum had been telling her all about her new university boyfriend over coffee I realised that any chances I had of getting back together were dashed, possibly because I didn't act quickly enough. There was a girl I liked a lot, but as she spoke openly to me about her love life and numerous failed dates, courtesy of OKCupid.com I realised that I had been permanently friend-zoned. There was another girl that I was 'interested' in, but save a few drunken conversations and a brief Facebook chat that faded away due to a lack of things to say I had little to act on. A breakthrough came at a party in early December where I met her. A rather alcohol-laden conversation turned into a drunken snog and then a one night stand. I was attracted to her and we started sleeping with each other and as we got to know each other better we realised that we had lots in common. A few days before we both returned home for Christmas we got together. Initially I was very happy to be back in a relationship and things worked out quite well; I'd see her over the weekends and on a few other days of the week- we'd go out with friends and to house parties together whilst there were a few evenings which we kept to ourselves so that we could spend time with friends or by ourselves, however around March there was a distinctive change. Although I had been in a long term relationship with my ex girlfriend, we attended different schools and sixth forms meaning that I didn't see her on a day to day basis- generally we'd meet up once or twice a week, sometimes once a fortnight if we were busy preparing for exams and so on- I attribute it's longevity to the physical distance that existed between us. My current girlfriend now literally insists on our spending every waking moment together unless she arranges to meet friends or has somewhere to be. I find myself unable to meet with friends independently unless she is away, normally she invites herself. Not being the most assertive person, this was acceptable during term time when I live away from the family home. As we got together, many of my friends also met boyfriends and girlfriends so it was acceptable that we spent lots of time together and with other couples. Still, at this point I desired personal space but things worsened as I left university for the summe r. My hopes for a quiet, peaceful and relaxing holiday have been wrecked by her instance on virtually living at my parents house. Whilst it may be reasonable for her to come and stay for a few weeks, the accumulative eight that she has spent at my parents are, if anything, abnormal. My mother is an extremely polite and tolerant woman, yet in the few moments that we spend alone in each others company she tells me that as much as she likes my girlfriend she finds it extremely difficult to tolerate her constant presence in our household and extremely understandably when she has two younger daughters to care for! My girlfriend could be described as being emotionally fragile and despite the fact that I have attempted to broach the subject carefully on numerous occasions I struggle to tell her that she should not spend so much time around my family, in fear that it might have a ruinous effect on our relationship. With a relative stranger constantly in her personal space, my mother understandably struggles to accept this. The short of it is that I feel as if I'm hanging from both eyelids, this being why I've resorted to relaying my problems in an extremely long post on the internet. On one hand my mother pressures me to resolve these issues with my girlfriend w hilst, on the other my girlfriend insists on spending inordinate amounts of time with me. Temporarily ignoring the difficulties my family faces, I fear that our relationship will not survive if we continue to live in such close proximity of one another. When I approach a relationship I assume that it will be a long term one and accordingly will do all to make it so but being in the absolutely desperate situation that I am, I find myself increasingly considering the prospect of 'breaking things off' so as to abate tensions which exist with my family and regain the personal space that I used to so enjoy. This would pain me greatly but as I've previously said I'm stuck in a completely untenable situation. If anyone has any advice or guidance I'd really appreciate it | |||
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Girls: Would you settle for less?
| I'm very worried after reading an article about what girls want, as the article said girls want a guy who can make them feel special, but to do so, I would have to stand out from a social circle, be attractive and be the smartest. Lets just say I wouldn't have this problem if I wasn't writing to you. Would you still go for a guy like me? No offence, but a girl's opinion would really be appreciated. | |||
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My boyfriend treats me horribly but I can't let go?
| I've been going out with this guy for almost a year. He was my best friend for a long time and we ended up falling for each other. The first few months were amazing, I've never been happier. But after all that, it went seriously down hill. I would find inappropriate texts from girls on his phone (which he would entertain) and when I'd bring it up, he'd shout at me and tell me I'm insecure and stupid, that Im trying to isolate him from people...to be honest, I felt as though he wanted me to find these messages, always asking me to read texts etc. He put a complete end to my social life..always fighting with me if I wanted to meet a friend without him (male and female) or he'd be so rude and obnoxious to my friends that it would just scare them away. When I have exams and I want to study in peace, he'll constantly nag me and tell me I'm neglecting him and that I don't love him. But when he's at work or out with friends he'll shout at me for being too needy and "suffocating" him. He also makes fun of the fact that I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He tells me I'm crazy and that I'm lucky he puts up with the fact that I'm a "psycho" (not sure where he got that from) Anyway, everytime I try to break up with him he'll cry, tell me he'll change etc. He even threatened to kill himself a couple of times. I also feel kind of scared to break up with him as for the best part of a year, he's the only person I've interacted with-Im scared I won't make new friends and my old ones won't want me back after the arguments etc he caused. Please help me..I don't know what to do anymore. Thanks. | |||
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Opinions on my nose
| Hello TSR, I hope this is the right place. I have disliked my nose for a long time. I don't think it fits with my face at all and have thought about a rhinoplasty before - I'm uncertain whether I could go through with it having heard horror stories about breathing problems. Anyways, what I am asking is, is it noticeable in a negative way? On here I've seen posts listing beautiful physical features in women, one of which being a small nose. I see this quite regularly. What do you think? Pics below. Attachment 239805 Attachment 239806 | |||
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Can being in love be a curse sometimes?
| I think being in love is a great brilliant think but I also think it has some negatives. I was just wondering does anybody else think there is a negative aspect to being in loved ? For instance for me it terrifies me how one person could say something that would rip my world apart, i.e if my boyfriend cheated on me or said he didn't love me id be devastated. I find things a partner says even if its a joke ill take to heart whereas if it was a friend id not be fussed at all. My boyfriend is away for a while and I wont be seeing him for a few weeks and im feeling really **** and sad because I miss him. These I think are all the negatives of being in love you wouldn't feel if you were single. I love being in a relationship but am I the only one who sometimes thinks being in love can have some negative impacts on your life feelings? of course the pros outweigh the cons | |||
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mixed race girl craze
| i tried to post before but failed... when me and the lads have been out, ive noticed quite a few of them have been trying to pull theese mixed race girls( but getting rejected in the process)., i just dont understand, whats the fuss with bi racial girls? i dont know why they even try because they dont even give them a second glance. they told me they find a 'black bum' on a white person attractive, but to me it just looks wrong? so i was wondering is this just a crave from the wierd streets of leeds or is it everywhere? thank you..( im not a racist but i just dont generally find mixed race girls attractive)  D:) | |||
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Why are girls unable to take care of themselves?
| Why are they so disgusting, like they do some really really bad things to their bodies. You think smoking fags and doing drugs and getting drunk all the time is going to make people respect you girls? You are idiots. You are disgusting. Why are girls unable to take care of themselves and lead such unhealthy lifestyles? | |||
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Please give me some guidance.
| Hello everyone. I need some help. Me and my husband have been fighting on and off (as in every other day) for the past month because I have been struggling with forgiving him for some very hurtful, disrespectful things he did to me. Among these, he's slammed me by my throat more than three times and sexually looked at photos of my sister (and tried to hide it.) I accepted that he needs psychiatric help but that I can't take it any longer. For a month we've been struggling with whether we should stay together any longer. I'd decided that I no longer want to be with him. I told him this and we agreed to separate. I know that the reason that I no longer want to be with him is because I know longer have the feelings I used to have towards him and too many hurtful things have been done for me to forgive him in order to get those feelings back. I did go out with a friend and we did end up doing sexual things, and I do feel that emotional connection with him. I am trying to think logically and make the correct choices. My husband is saying that we will try to forgive me but I have to cut off all ties with the man I was with. Which is understandable. However what I'm struggling with is that I feel I will never have that connection with my husband. If I had to describe my husband, it would be immature, lazy and mean as well as every kind of abusive. He is nice with the children, but I worry that the abuse will spread to them also as he has had a very short temper with them before, cusses around them and does get very handsy. I never wanted to be in an abusive relationship but I've allowed it and now I'm trying to fix it. It isn't this man that I want to leave him for, it's wanting to have a life that isn't filled with chaos and fear, and possibly to find someone that actually has an interest in working and being a successful, nice person with enough respect not to lay hands on me. I've come to realize that everything I felt towards my husband before I knew how he truly acted once living with someone I am feeling towards this man. And again it isn't the man I want, it's those feelings, of being with a normal, non-borderline psychopath man. And so I'm struggling... because I feel pressured to stay because he is hurt and at the hope that everything will become better and normal with time. But I feel that staying will kill any chance at a happy life because life with him is either very good or extremely bad. He is either very nice or hurtful to the point that it seems there is no love left. What I've done is wrong, I get that, and it hurt him. And he's willing to take me back. But what if I don't know if I want to go back? Deciding to stay with him literally feels like a life-sentence to prison. I see huge trouble in the future regarding his not wanting to get a job to help support our family, the abuse getting worse, his drinking getting worse, and I do not feel strong enough or motivated enough to try and encourage him to get better. But all I can think is that I've shared so much time and unforgettable experiences with him, not all bad. He was there when my son was pulled from me, he has seen them grow up from little babies to toddlers. And no one can replace that. I feel the correct choice is to run fast and fight for happiness and peace. I've tried to be the unwavering pillar for him to lean on when he needs it but the constant going back on promises and actions done that he admitted he did just to hurt me has made me withdraw from that position and lose my love and faith in him. The big question of if we are really, finally going to separate has been put on me and it's being put in the form of "My husband or him (the man I slept with)" however the question feels, to me, as if it's "Life very well destined to unhappiness and the promise of having someone to lay down with at night, or possible happiness along with possibly never having a husband again?" | |||
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Drawing a line text...
| Brief background: Broke up with my ex last Sunday after 6 months of seeing each other. She cited that whilst she still liked me, felt that we were different people. She herself admitted that it might just be her scaring herself out of a commitment. She also wanted to remain friends immediately. Since then, I've tried to give her space and cut contact but she kept texting asking if I was okay and other friendly conversations, which h isn't what I want as I still really like her. I replied as to not appear rude, but once the conversations died then I wouldn't respond. She text me last about 2 days ago, but I just want to send one last message to let her know my thoughts and draw a line under it. Whether this means letting her go or her coming back, I need a conclusion. I appreciate I should have nothing to do with her, but I need to do this. Please advise on how to improve the message I've composed: "Hopefully you understand why I've been a bit silent for the past few days. You know where I stand, how much I like you and what I want. You mean the world to me so I refuse to cut you out of my life. However, I need some space as everything is still so raw. At present, I'm one slip in composure away from turning up at your door armed with a romantic poem, a dozen red roses and an unhealthy amount of Chinese Takeaway (her favourite food). I don't agree that we should have stopped seeing each other as there is something there between us. But it is your decision and I have accepted that. You finally deserve to put your own happiness first, which is what I want for you" I know this doesn't conform to male 21st century dating rules, but she needs to know why we can't be friends at this moment in time. | |||
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Break up now or try LDR?
| I'm 20 and going to Uni in Sunderland in September, I'm from Birmingham. When I started going out with my boyfriend earlier this year (He's staying in Birmingham to go to Uni). I said to him it would only be until I go to uni as I don't want a LDR, and he knows I still dont. However he is very into the relationship and I really dont want to hurt his feelings alot. Would it be better for me to just end it when I go, or do a 'trial run' for say a month whilst at uni so atleast he would know we tried? Extremely confused by the situation, any advice appreciated  :) | |||
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Can abusive men change?
| This question is more geared toward the ladies, but of course guys can answer, too. Has anyone here ever been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship where the abusive man was able to change and stop being abusive? If not, do you know of anyone first hand? I'm looking for first hand accounts or at least stories about someone you know well, not something you heard through the grapevine or read on the internet. The reason I'm asking is because I am afraid for my close friend. She is in her late 20s, and got married to her husband very quickly after meeting him. They have been married for 5 years and he has been physically abusive to her for about 4 of those years. I just found this out recently and I am overwhelmed with shock. I don't know how I didn't know and how she kept it a secret for so long. During the course of their relationship during arguments, he has slapped her, punched her in the arms and legs, hit her with different objects, choked her, and other things like that. The abuse hasn't been so bad that she has been hospitalized, but obviously any abuse is bad enough! Last summer, I saw a huge bruise on her arm. It was nearly the size of a softball. She explained it away as a sports injury, which I believed because she is a very physical person who is always running, hiking, playing sports, paint balling, etc. I now know the bruise was from him punching her repeatedly. I never saw anything else. I feel like such a terrible friend for not noticing. He has promised to stop before and of course hasn't. The most recent promise was 3 weeks ago, and he said he wants to change and go to counseling. He has not been physical with her in the past 3 weeks since the promise and he points to that as evidence that he has changed and is now "cured". However, they have gotten into a few bad arguments where he has been emotionally abusive (calling her stupid, retarded, a b*tch, a w*ore, etc) and where he has threatened to hurt her ("I'm going to slam your head against this counter until your face is covered in blood"). He also spit in her face after she exploded on him and said something nasty after an entire day of being picked on emotionally. I have personally never heard of a man that was able to stop being abusive. I am hoping to show her this thread so she can get some advice or hear from other people's experiences. Thanks all. | |||
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Unexplained body changes
| My partner has reassured me about my body image issues, but I just don't know if I can believe him or not. I am moderately active in a sport that has caused me to put on some muscle. So, over the past three years since I started in the sport, I have gained weight. I have asked people I trust if they think I have put on weight (the bad kind) and insisted that I wanted to hear the brutal, honest truth. Everyone around me that I have asked reassured me that I look fine, and perfectly healthy. But I feel like I am totally uncomfortable in my own body. I got the depo shot around 9 months ago, (just one time) and ever since the shot, these random stretch marks have been showing up all over my body... around my navel, upper thighs, and hips. I feel like they are destroying my self-confidence and, in turn, my relationship with my partner. I know I need to work on my own body image myself, and that no matter how many times he tells me I look great, I w ill not believe him unless I feel great inside. But I was just wondering if anyone has experienced this? Every site I go to for information on random stretch marks will only talk about women who have been pregnant in the past getting them, and I have never been pregnant. I don't understand why these things are showing up all over my body and it is making me so unhappy with myself that my relationship is suffering. | |||
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Am I being a baby, or was this rude?
| So I am having a bit of a debate with my husband and want a neutral (or as neutral as possible) third party to weigh in. He says I am being a baby and way over sensitive about something his sister said to me, I think it was very rude. Here's the story, I'll try to make it short: Things have been going very poorly for me financially and career wise. I have a college education, but I have been completely unable to find any sort of job in my field. I have literally tried everything, from going to networking events and job fairs, doing unpaid internships, freelancing for basically 3rd world wages, studying related subjects and doing online courses trying to learn new skills to add to my resume, and of course applying for hundreds of jobs online. I have even hired two different recruiters to help and they didn't get me anywhere. I am still unemployed despite all of this. Maybe it's because I'm unlucky or because I'm terrible in job interviews. I don't know why it hasn't worked, I just know I'm still unemployed. The field I am trying to get into is very competitive, but I still feel horrible about myself. It doesn't help that my husband and I are doing terribly financially because I am not making enough money to actually help with bills. Anyone close to me knows that my unemployment and failure career-wise is a MAJOR source of insecurity and embarrassment for me. Anyway, my SIL was hanging out with us one day and asked how the job search was going. She had just landed a great job in her field and was very happy about it. When I told her that it wasn't going well and I was still unemployed, she gave me this disapproving look and said, "it sounds like you just need to try harder." This really hurt my feelings because I don't know how to try any harder than I already am. My husband said nothing. He didn't defend me at all. Later when I told him how much the comment hurt my feelings he just rolled his eyes and said "quit being so sensitive she didn't mean it as an insult. She's just blunt." So, what do you all think? Was that rude or do I just need to get over it because it wasn't a big deal? | |||
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