| You know how it goes, so there's this boy.... It's been an on and off relationship over the last year and a half. We go to different schools, and he has work most days, and I have strict parents (school and family over all else), so we've only truly hung out once, and that was in October. Ever since we met, we have periods of no talking whatsoever (months) and then weeks where we talk incessantly, plan to meet, it fails, we say we're sorry it didn't work out cause we really miss each other, and then silence. He texted me a few weeks ago saying he misses me, and that he really thinks a summer relationship will work. (we both head off to uni this autumn) I had hope that things would work out, but now I'm a little pissed. We were supposed to see a movie a week ago, but he claims he had a hectic week and forgot. I gave him a harsh time, but he promised to make it up to me. (He also claims he loves talking to me etc. but then replies with "fair" and "truth" all the time.) By the end of our last conversation, I said we'll see, and maybe he could make it up. It's been a week, I ended up texting him again with a slightly passive aggressive text, and he never replied. What should I do, because I really like him, but I'm fed up waiting for him to figure out what he wants? Sorry for the long post, but I thought background info could be useful. :) | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Relationship Over a Busy Summer?
What did you have for breakfast?
| Weekend breakfast, yum. I made coconut and chia seed pancakes, which I topped with fresh lime juice and brown sugar. What did you all have? | |||
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Confused...
| I have posted on this forum before aswell, which i took off. I'm from Pakistan married to an Irish guy. I'm 21 he's 31. The last time i posted the question everyone adviced me to divorce him but to me that's not the solution at least for now. Everything between me n him is fine now, but still there are many things that makes me worry or think he doesn't care. I'm in my country waiting on my visa for 5 months now. And my husband doesn't seem to care about me like a husband is supposed to do. we talk everday on viber but he doesnt really talk to me about us, n our relationship. he's mostly other things when we are on phone like watching something, or on computer or he calls me when he goes to sleep. I feel like I'm just an option for him. I went back to him thinking this time we will work on our marriage and talk things through, but when i want to talk he ignores me. I'm afraid to say anything to him cos then he would fight with me. He doesn't suppo rt me financially at all, my parents still do everything for me, n even today i was telling him i would buy a phone n said in a joking way cos he wont buy me one, but still he didnt get the message. I hate to take things from my parents even after marriage, they spent alot of money on wedding already. It's not like i expect him to buy me expensive things (before someone starts attacking me here) I just expect him to atleast pay for my basic needs, like clothes etc. I have been here for 5 months n he never sent me any money. I feel he doesn't care about me. but I love him alot, n went through alot to be with him, i cant imagine a day without him. I discussed this with his sister, and the way she replied was, money destroys relationships, and she insulted me saying they would send money because my parents only spent on our wedding. I told her he was my husband thats why i expected him to care about me. It hurts me when i see women who expect the world from their own husbands n when it comes to other women they don't even want to understand their feelings. It makes me worry, when i move to his country how would i be treated, if i need to buy some basic things for myself like clothes etc. Before when i asked him i need to buy few things, he fought with me n told me he should not have married me. And if i ever have a child with him, would i or my parents would be suppose to look after the child financially. And if i go there n get a job, he would have the excuse not to do anything for me. Is it right to stay with a man, who only is happy in marriage n stays with you, as long as he doesn't have to even do the basic things that a man promises when he marries the woman? I stay worried all the time, but if i talk to him about this he would fight, n i don't want that. With him I pretend I'm happy but I belive its never gonna change. Should I just get used to of living this way? ( Please no negative comments because if I could discuss it with him I would not have posted anything here. please read before you comment. Because on some other forum the last time I posted many people commented even without going through the post. I'd appreciate your advice) | |||
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hard to maintain dieting and gym
| New here, been lingering and reading about others. Not ready to throw my marital issues out there yet, just want to ease my way in if that's ok. I've been married for just over 2yrs been together almost 3. We didn't date long before we got married. Its not been easy, considering he's a special kind of man and not necessarily in a good way lol. But I do love him very much. And where I'm going with this is; sometimes I find it hard to stay in the mind set of my diet and my gym schedule. I'm ADD and I'm constantly thinking about the usual things my job, my mom that's terminally ill, helping my family, my hubby, etc. I know this is something everyone deals with with everyday in their lives also, as I said I'm ADD so my thoughts are always on the go and I can't control what I think about and when my thoughts change from one thing to the next. I also have anxiety which doesn't help. But its affecting me staying on track with my weightloss goal big time. Does or has anyone ever had this problem?? If so, what did you do to try to maintain yourself?? Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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my teen daughter's drug supplier
| hello everyone: My teen daughter has been using Marijuana for about 4 years now. We found about last year, have her in a long term residential treatment program. We also know who has been selling it to her. The person is a student at the school she attends. This school also has been in the news during 2011 for a coach who worked there who was caught dealing drugs to students. Now I heard my daughter tell me last year that the girl she was walking to the local park to buy drugs from moved. She sure did. to another house still in the same school district but away from our house. She is still getting her drugs from this girl. She is doing it at school now. Interesting thing about this whole situation: the girl's father is an assistant girls' basketball coach at the same school. I wonder if this coach is also dealing. Where else would a 15-16 year old girl be getting enough mj to deal for 3-4 years? So my problem becomes how to catch this kid (and her parents) and get them out of my daughter's school. I am letting her drug treatment facility help my daughter learn to make better choices. I however need SOMEONE to get this kid out of this school. What actions (other than report to the school's apathetic principal/administration) can I take to get this kid out of the school? Should I have her arrested? She is only 16, and I know where she used to live and I know where she currently lives. I'm was just FLABBERGASTED that her father is a coach at that high school. Does anyone have any ideas on who to talk to to get something done about it rather than report it to people in the school district who continue to do nothing? I have already told an assistant principal about this student. What should I do next? Thanks for your input. | |||
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Husband only interested in sex once a month
| My husband is only interested in sex every 3-4 weeks. I know the time because he will start being nicer and hug me or something to show he is interested. The other 3 weeks he doesn't cuddle me or give me much attention. Is this normal? I wish he would want to hold me and put his arm around me a lot. I would be willing to have sex once or twice a week and I have told him that. Do you have any advice for me? I feel a lack of confidence when I feel he doesn't want to be with me. :( | |||
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Haunted by bad experiences :(
| Anon for obvious reasons! ok so I've recently broken up with my boyfriend because I didn't have feelings for him. Even though he ticked all the boxes and everything was almost perfect. I've had so many unhappy relationships with guys, things never seem to go well for me from long distance, to cheaters, to friends with benefits it always ends badly with rumours and tears and all that crap. Then this year in January I had the worst experience of my life and I feel like that was the cherry on top. I was sexually assaulted by a guy who i went home with, i really didnt want to sleep with him but i gave in because i didnt want him to hurt me. I was pretty drunk so partly blame myself but i remember saying "no" a lot and he said a lot of nasty things to make me feel bad for not wanting to. No I haven't reported it or anything like that and nothing you say will make me decide to because I'm actually fine about it. I'm not upset at all any more and nothing can be done to change what happened apart from being m ore careful when I go out. But I think it's affected me and I hate it. I just feel so emotionally blocked off. I can't fall for people any more and the tiny amount of trust I had before is just completely non existent now. I think that's why I had no feelings for my ex. I just can't love.... (So cliche) i don't really know what I want people to reply to this, just felt like I needed to tell someone. Feeling pretty hopeless at the moment as I've broken up with someone who was brilliant and I've recently lost a lot of friends as I've been so distant with them. Really lonely and confused I think is the summary! | |||
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Guy I like online turned out to be a fake.
| I've been talking to someone for months and months (almost a year) online and after much persuasion, I sent him a picture of myself, as we'd both admitted to liking each other. I also asked him to send a picture of himself, but he said he'd broken his camera and needed it fixed. I know it sounds like an obvious lie, but he passed it off so well I thought nothing of it. I then began asking him a month or two later, and he gave the same response. I started to get agitated, as I've watched Catfish before, and didn't want him to be a fake account. I pressured him into finally sending a picture, but instead he sent a long email stating that he wasn't who he initially said he was, and that he still liked me a lot and his feelings hadnt changed whatsoever. I haven't replied. I feel so stupid. I'm still crying now. I've developed feelings for this guy, and I can't believe it was all lies. What do I do now? Please give me some advice. | |||
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How do you feel about meeting someone on the Internet?
| Hello! I'm new to tsr but the newbies forum looks a little lonely so thought I'd put my first post here... what do you think about meeting someone with romantic intentions over the Internet? I'm starting to think my type is far too specific to limit myself to the small number of people I come into contact with so I might start looking to meet someone online. discuss! | |||
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Cannot seem to trust My Husband at work ever since texting/calling female co-worker
| Hello! I'm having problems trusting My Husband while He's at work due to Him texting Female Co-workers in the past. Is it possible to ever trust again or should I just say forget this? That's not what I want but I don't deserve to go through all of this stress and worrying. I'm 27, My Husband is 37. He's a quite kind of Guy except around People He knows. Which obviously that doesn't matter. I would have never expected this from Him at all but it has happened with 2 Females from work now. The first time I found Her number in His call log. I called Her and She said it was nothing like that and what ended up happening was She quit the job because I threatened to come up there out of anger. So the trust ended up building back up. Keep in mind that happened after a year or so of being married. A year or two later on New Years day 2011 I find a message in His phone when I needed to use it because Mine was dead. The message said "I can't stop thinking ab out You". When I read that, My heart dropped as I sat there for a minute I said to Him "Who's number is .." He paused for a minute and I could see the nervousness setting in. He replies that He doesn't know. I said apparently You do know since You cannot stop thinking about Her. Meanwhile I'v already called and got no answer but hear the name Joy on the voice mail. I ask who She is and He finally admits She's a temp worker at His job. Then I find out from Her that She is not a temp worker, she had worked there a year but He'd never mentioned Her as He talks about works a lot. She tells Me I'm over reacting and taking it way over board and that They hardly talked. So how the hell couldn't He stop thinking about Her? Come on now! I dug into call logs where I could only go back to November where I found calls lasting up to an hour sometimes longer. All during work hours some after while I went out to dinner with Friends. She said nothing sexual ever happened but They both lied at some point so I don't trust either! Since then, I don't trust My Husband at work with any Women and He gets mad when I bring that up as to why I don't trust Him there. Oh and when I visit His job they don't look Eachothers way or say anything but when I'm on the phone with Him I hear Her yell His name in background or hear Her sing or laugh and it just instantly makes Me mad. I love Him so much and never expected this but I'm just getting so overwhelmed and aggravated when He's at work that I wonder if it's even worth it anymore :(. | |||
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Stepsons and wrestling
| My Stepsons are 14 and 8, we have them every other weekend and my dh goes to see them once during the week. When he sees them and the weather is nice they usually have dinner, go to a park and play cards, do home work abs talk in the van. The boys usually end up play fighting and wrestling and always hurt each other. When they are here it's the same thing. I'm so beyond sick of it. Even asking then to get ready for bed, they go in their room and immediately start play wrestling. I have never had boys, I guess this is normal and they are trying to connect? Is it wrong to try to get them to stop completely? It drives both of us nuts because it always ends in pain or a fight. | |||
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Personal romantic stories that you'd like or have experienced...
| Just thought everyone could 'let out' their memories be it good or bad or even what you imagine somthing to be like like with a person you like or have/had a crush on... :) Just imagine it...brisk night, by the camp fire with marshmallows, looking up at the clear dark sky filled with tiny distant stars. And huddling next to you for warmth the most beautiful girl you've seen...bliss. | |||
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How to recover from wife feeling "used" for sex
| My wife and I are in MC right now. My wife has stated repeatedly that she just can't get over our past sexual history, where she feels that, from the beginning of our relationship to the present, I have just "used" her for sex and that I continually press her to do things that she has told me she dislikes and now it's got to the point that she can't imaging even enjoying me touching her. She outwardly blames me, but also blames herself. My wife was not religious when we met; she was 23 and I was 25. She had two previous sexual partners - both college boyfriends. The first one she met when she was 18 and dated for 2 years; the second she dated for 3 months and she describes him as a rebound relationship. She told me that she never had an orgasm with either. She has had several over the years with me, but none since our last child was born. She also told me she regretted having sex with the second boy friend because it happened too quickly and he became very clingy (talking about marriage, etc.) After that she dated several guys but did not have sex with anyone else until me who she met 3 years after the second boyfriend. I do not believe she has a history of sexual abuse. In our previous MC, my wife informed me that she had regrets about how quickly into our relationship we had sex. We met and sparks flew very quickly and we dated several times a week. After the third week, we went to a party with friends. I drove her and her roommate back to her apartment at around 1 am. We had been very physically affectionate that night and she had been drinking (I had a little, but not as much as her). It's a little fuzzy to me on who brought up the subject, but it was soon agreed that she wanted to come back to my apartment. We then made out on my bed (as opposed to the couch where it previously happened). We both were groping each other very passionately. Even though I had sex with one other person (my ex-wife who I had dated since 18 and had been divorced from for 1.5 years), I was pretty sure we were going to have sex. While she was on top of me, I grabbed a condom out of my wallet (it had been there a while) and put it on. She apparently did not see me do this. We then started having sex - she said "I think we should wait. I responded it's ok" and we started with her on top. After about 30-60 seconds she asked about "protection." I said I was already wearing a condom. Sex then continued for a couple of hours (we both commented later that we had a lot of built up sexual energy). She basically moved in to my apartment within weeks of then and we had sex just about every night. I was 25 and had gone about 2 years without sex. I thought everything was awesome. We got engaged about 14 months into our relationship and married after about 2.5 years of dating. We moved in together before getting married, but her parents never "officially" knew. My wife is starting EMDR therapy as part of our MC. I am too (too get over issues related mostly to me ex-wife). During this session she discussed her history. Much of this apparently dealt with our sexual history. My wife originally told me it went well, but the next day said that she realizes it is going to take a long time to recover from the severe trauma she has suffered in our sexual past. Her disclosing this "revelation" ultimately resulted in a huge fight after she discussed some of the details, but then refused to engage with me to hear my perspective. Now we are not talking and she's extremely mad at me for "minimizing and blaming her for her trauma." I think a lot of this has to do with the guilt she has for us having sex quickly. She told me that she regrets having sex so soon, but after the first night, since she is a "people pleaser" she kept going to make me happy even though it made her uncomfortable. She also became a Christian after we had kids (we have 3 and her conversion started about 8-10 years ago). I told her that I have a ton of respect for her and that I would pummel anyone who questioned her virtue. I also said it was pretty obvious to me that she really enjoyed having sex, especially in those early years because she orgasmed often (her first orgasm was a real screamer and it probably woke up everyone in the nearby apartments). She basically said she had only had orgasms when she had been drinking. She also said that other sex acts I am confident she enjoyed (e.g., anal - which she now refuses to even consider) she never enjoyed and only did it to please me or because she was drunk. I know that happened many times, but she also had a couple of orgasms during this as well. She says that she was traumatized by our sex life because she felt pressure to engage in acts she felt uncomfortable doing but did so just to please me. If she didn't do them, I got passive aggressive and upset, so she gave in, which built resentment in her. This caused her to shut down a lot, which caused me to get upset when she was passionless in bed, which caused her to feel pain, which created a huge cycle of conflict. She is going to continue in EMDR therapy to get over her trauma, but it's frustrating for me to deal with a complete lack of intimacy. (Sex has been off the table for about 7 weeks and now we are barely talking to each other). I know I created this problem. Any suggestions on how to fix it? | |||
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Should I leave?
| Married for 4 years, 37 year old female. I have a very good career, no kids, but I want them. My husband and I have had problems from the start, and I'm frankly tired of fighting. Things came to a head when I became pregnant last fall, and he told me that he did not want kids. The pregnancy was terminated, and I haven't been the same since. I'm just worried that if I leave, I'll never have kids. I'm also somewhat afraid to leave him. He has a horrible temper, and is very domineering. | |||
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My husband doesnt like me to talk during sex
| Regretted | |||
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Emotional Abuse
| There are thousands of web pages out there describing emotional abuse. I came across this one, and found it to be quite a bit more insightful than most, which usually state the more obvious signs like name calling, yelling, isolating, etc. This article explains somewhat more subtle (and therefore more difficult to detect even if you're the victim) types of emotional abuse. Types of Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse can take many forms. Three general patterns of abusive behavior include aggressing, denying, and minimizing. Aggressing Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening, and ordering. Aggressing behaviors are generally direct and obvious. The one-up position the abuser assumes by attempting to judge or invalidate the recipient undermines the equality and autonomy that are essential to healthy adult relationships. This parent-to-child pattern of communication (which is common to all forms of verbal abuse) is most obvious when the abuser takes an aggressive stance. Aggressive abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised as "helping." Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, probing, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances, however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental "I know best" tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships. Denying Invalidating seeks to distort or undermine the recipient's perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or fails to acknowledge reality. For example, if the recipient confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don't know what you're talking about, " etc. Withholding is another form of denying. Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the "silent treatment." Countering occurs when the abuser views the recipient as an extension of themselves and denies any viewpoints or feelings which differ from their own. Minimizing Minimizing is a less extreme form of denial. When minimizing, the abuser may not deny that a particular event occurred, but they question the recipient's emotional experience or reaction to an event. Statements such as "You're too sensitive," "You're exaggerating," or "You're blowing this out of proportion" all suggest that the recipient's emotions and perceptions are faulty and not to be trusted. Trivializing, which occurs when the abuser suggests that what you have done or communicated is inconsequential or unimportant, is a more subtle form of minimizing. Denying and minimizing can be particularly damaging. In addition to lowering self-esteem and creating conflict, the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences can eventually lead you to question and mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experience. Here's a link to the entire article if anyone's interested. Counseling Center » Emotional Abuse Another article very succinctly describes the effect emotional abuse has on the victim: Results of Verbal and Emotional Abuse, from the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness: A distrust of her spontaneity A loss of enthusiasm An uncertainty about how she is coming across A concern that something is wrong with her An inclination to reviewing incidents with the hopes of determining what went wrong A loss of self-confidence A growing self-doubt An internalized critical voice A concern that she isn't happier and ought to be An anxiety or fear of being crazy A sense that time is passing and she's missing something A desire not to be the way she is, e.g. "too sensitive," etc. A hesitancy to accept her perceptions A reluctance to come to conclusions A tendency to live in the future, e.g. "Everything will be great when/after ..." A desire to escape or run away A distrust of future relationships When I read this list, it hit me like a ton of bricks how well it describes me. Just thought I'd share some enlightening info for anyone else who might be wondering WTF is happening to them. | |||
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How many people do you talk to in a typical day?
| This topic is a bit tricky. My acquaintances often proudly say that they receive this many text messages a day and having this many friends at work or outside work. I have always thought that most people in the developed world have to be nice to other people just to get by, just to survive. I have to respond to some of text messages (at and outside work) to get by. Some even say their girlfriends or boyfriends help them get through a day. In the UK, there are only a few people that can live a typical day without having to talk to anyone. They are wealthy, independent and educated. I am just surprised that my acquaintances genuinely believe that rich people with little friends have worse life than they do. What do you think? | |||
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Losing my virginity to someone with much more experience...
| Is it awkward? For a while I always wanted to lose my virginity with someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, I still don't want to lost it to just anyone, but I just don't really put too much value in it as I used to. At the end of the day, it's just sex. He's 29 and I'm 18. He's okay with me being a virgin, however, he has A LOT more experience than I, which is expected considering the age difference. I'd love to hear from people who have been in a similar situation whether it be male or female. How did it go? I'm nervous only because I don't want to just 'lay' there while he does it all. I don't want to to be awkward. Ah, I'll also add that he and I are not in a relationship. We're just seeing how things go and going from there. | |||
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Help in a situation... It's weird!
| Hey all, I have a very open social group, so one of my friends friend likes me. So I start to talk to her and everything, but being previously in relationship that was controlling to the extremes I'm pretty much scared into getting into another one. I'm completely focused on my exams and this person is too, I know she likes me she's given the subtle hints i.e. staying up with me and talking :) So what could I do? I do think she's pretty cute, but the fear of getting into a relationship is stopping and knowing that I've solely dedicated myself on my studies and getting into University I don't want to be at all hurting her feelings. Help is much appreciated! :) | |||
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Marriage is a mess & wife is lying to me.
| Good Morning! First of all, many thanks for reading my message, your comments and advice would be much appreciated! I will try to keep it as short as possible: Im 38 years old and have been married for almost 6 years. Im English, my wife Mexican and we have a near 3 year old boy who is the apple of my eye. We live in Monterrey, Mexico. Even before the marriage, i had serious questions over whether it was the right decision. At the time, i was in love with my now wife but she has a teenage daughter who was intent on making things difficult for us despite my best intentions to make a happy home. As far as violence, slamming the car door on my hand, very discreetly saying rude things to me when no-one was around.... it was difficult. Anyway, i managed to ride the storm as (i believe) i am a very loyal person, i believe in the virtues of marriage and am prepared to work hard at it, but a tense atmosphere in the house is not nice after a day at work. Anyway, she (the teenage daughter) has now left the house and is living elsewhere and seems to be happy enough. Early in the marriage, it was obvious we had some serious cultural problems. First up, my wife doesnt speak English and my Spanish was "ok" but not great (love conquers all right??) We have a big difference in educational background, up-bringing expectations of responsibilities in a marriage. To this day, my wife has made no effort to learn or speak English. I (think) im romantic, i like attention to detail, flowers, gifts, vacations etc and im very ambitous with my job so that we can progress as a family and live well. This is where the buck stops: My wife is zero romantic, zero details etc. Many times i have actually had to ask her "do you love me?" as i dont feel or see anything whatsoever. Example: On my birthday, we went to the Mall. i was hoping that i would recieve something nice, doesnt need to anything expensive, just something that she had thought about and bought with love. So, we leave the Mall, nothing... on the highway, we pass a book store, my wife asks to stop. She goes in and comes out 2 minutes later with a book on Salmon Fishing and says "happy birthday" lol this was at 11pm having spent the whole day in the Mall. (i dont like salmon fishing) Like i say, zero details, i dont see or feel any of her love. Now, i have only just found out today, that her brother was deported from the USA to Mexico following a 7 year jail sentence for sexually violating a 14 year old girl. She never mentioned it and as you can imagine, this has come of something of a shock (to say the least) and so i have caught her lying red handed. Next up, on a day-to-day basis i work long hours, from 5am to 8pm and when i get in, sometimes there is not even a sandwich prepared for me. We have a maid and a nanny so there isnt any excuse that there is no time to do anything. Im not an old fashioned husband who expects his wife to be at home in the kitchen all day, but i dont think its unfair that there might be a nice meal to come home to...??? So, to cut a long story short, i had reservations before the marriage, but went ahead with it. I (believe) my wife wants for nothing and is living a very good life-style, certainly one she has not lived before and is giving virtually nothing in return. My main issue is we have a 3 year old boy who, ofcourse, i love more than the world. Im scared if i divorce, he will be influenced by my wife and her families level of expectation / morals / education and that i cant protect him or help him develop as well. ok, this is a horrible thing to say regarding my wife, but she comes from a very, very poor back-ground. Finally, im sick to death of dragging my wife along. She doesnt show any motivation to be better or that as a family we progress and leaves literally everything to me. Example: right now, i am considering buying a property. Its going to cost every cent i have, plus my parents are going to loan the difference. On Tuesday, i was running around like a head-less chicken gathering the paper-work as well as working and i was missing the marriage certificate. I asked "do you have it" to which she said "yes, will get it later" i asked her if it was possible she could do it now (the cupboard was 2 metres from where she was sitting) and she said "nooooo i will do it later" Anyway, i had to leave as i had a meeting and she got angry with me that i was obsessing over the certificate. I explained i wanted to do it today as 1: very motivated to get in done and excited for the project and 2: the next 3 days are busy at work and i dont have time. Still nothing. Throw on top of this the fact that my father (who is here on vacation) gave us half (over $150,000) and she did not even say "thanks" Anyway, it feels SO de-motivating to be with someone like that. So, to conclude: after 6 years of the above, im really sick of it. Am tired, drained and i dont really love my wife anymore. But i am worried about my son and that he will be ok. We have tried counselling etc and she isnt interested. What do i do??? Its one of those things, where its not "so bad" in that its not violent, abusive or anything too off the wall.... its just love-less and obviously a few lies thrown in for good measure. The only bit im missing, as my friends tell me, is to get some pants and tell her i want a divorce but i want to make sure i have explored every avenue and got several opinions first.... it feels like i have tried everything and have got nothing left to give. Many, many thanks in advance for your comments and i am extremely grateful for all your advice!! Take care, | |||
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The end of Road (Civil Partnership down the swannie)
| Hello everyone and having found this fantastic website last weekend i thought I'd share my tale of misery and how I'm starting to move my life forward. My story is a tad different in that I'm in a Civil Partnership with my STBXH. I met D back in 2002 and he was my second long term relationship but having had my heart broken back in 2000, I really wasn't looking for a relationship, but cupid never gives you warning! We moved on and on the 7th July 2007 under UK Law we entered into Civil Partnership. Over the years there were plenty of problems- mostly involving my STBXH being totally stupid with money and wanting to have the fantastic successful "Gay Image". New car? Not a problem- as I would pick the bill up - or he wouldn't pay and then ignore the debt letters finally leading to the car being taken away. Back in 2009 I was told by my GP that I was clinically depressed and this led to us breaking up for a about a month (as part of his arrangements- he insisted that I pay for marriage councilling which he never attended after the 1st session). To be fair we moved to the countryside and it did improve the relationship. In 2011, after years of drifting from job to job- he took over a pub which at first paid well and kept up with my modest earnings. But then the normal pattern returned- he was not paying bills at the pub, getting into a dreadful pickle, so guess who picked up the pieces from this via my wages each month?? He started getting friendly with a mutual friend in December 2012 and became very very defensive towards this lad (my STBXH is 40, this lad is 22)- and I did warn him that things weren't looking healthy again, to which he said that I was making something out of nothing. At this point even mutual friends were calling him "Camilla" (think Prince Charles and Di for our American friends). In February I came down stairs to find the pair of them fully clothed on the sofa cuddling together, both drunk at 6am. I'll admit I lost my temper and I slapped my husband. He fell into a baby gate which we have to stop the dogs going upstairs). We talked later when again I was told nothing was going on and that I was reading to much into it. By now the relationship was really rocky, he was staying out all hours taking drugs (coke and speed) and drink driving on a nightly basis - how the hell he never got caught I just don't know. Anyway- to the split in my next piece | |||
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