| On several occasions I've made attempts at finding a real answer to this problem... it's never turned up anything but despair, I just thought I'd ask here... maybe there's a success story somewhere. -If anyone (man or the wife of one who overcame PE) has a success story that could help I would love to read it. -If anyone feels the desire to tell a negative story please just keep it to yourself... there's no reason to make this worse than it is, and it certainly isn't a laughing matter... guys like to poke fun at this but it's not something I had any choice in. I assure you all my skills are more than sufficient on the rare occasion I get to put them to use for more than a minute, | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Overcomming PE
I Need Help!!
| I need the best cheapest iPhone spyware I can get. I have to follow my gut. I know it's still happening! Gps said he wasn't at work when he should have been today!! There are yahoo inquiries near where ow lives on his phone. He has gotten really really good about deleting his texts and phone calls and I need proof before I go insane. But we share an apple account and iCloud account so I have to do whatever it is I need to do while he is asleep. Please please please help!! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Because of family.....
| Because of my family I go for angry long walks at this hour when no one is about and tucked up in bed. Its Sunday morning not even 6 am and I've just been out for yet another walk to town and back. Is this normal? Basically, I'm being pressured to finish my medication because I got a bit unwell. I've taken all of them except leaving 2 and then getting angry and cutting them up, putting them in the bin and refusing (in my head) to go to the next DR's appointment. I just feel so much pressure from all sides of the family, my Mum's concern and reminder of me being unwell, my Dad's unsympathetic and lack of care, which is normal when I'm normal. But basically, I really don't want to be sectioned again. I did in 2009 but want to feel like it won't happen yet I can't turn to anyone for re-assurance. Sod it! I just want my life back! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
What happened......
| To the new pic thread was a result of me feeling impish tonight. Not because I was offended or upset so just clarifying this. Now we must all wait for the all might Amp to post it back up. Oh and no Amp I wont make a habit of deleting threads and asking you to put em back up so no worries there! :D Posted via Mobile Device | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Wife talking to another Man!?!?!?!
| Thanks for listening to me. I've been going through a lot over the past month and I feel like I need some advice. Right before Christmas I noticed my wife had become disconnected and was extremely attracted to her phone. I randomly looked through her phone one night and saw her texting with another man -- they were talking about having a life together and she was making comments about not wanting to hurt me. I immediately called her on it and she just got pissed at me. Over the past 4 weeks she has told me that she doesn't want to lose me and that she still loves me. However, I also noticed that they keep texting/talking even though she assures me that it is over between them and that they do not talk anymore. When I try to talk to her she just gets mad and tells me to stop snooping through her phone and that I will never be able to trust her again. I have to admit it will take some time for me to trust her again (but it is something that I would be willing to do) but she has to stop talking to this guy. We have a ten month old daughter and our marriage has been been put to the test. We have only been married for just over two years but we have been through enough stress to last a lifetime. I feel heartbroken, confused and lost right now. I wish I knew what to do. I want to save my marriage but I know that if she can't stop talking to another man for me then I might need to move on. Thoughts/suggestions? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Wife Talking to Another Man -- Please Help
| Thanks for listening to me. I've been going through a lot over the past month and I feel like I need some advice. Right before Christmas I noticed my wife had become disconnected and was extremely attracted to her phone. I randomly looked through her phone one night and saw her texting with another man -- they were talking about having a life together and she was making comments about not wanting to hurt me. I immediately called her on it and she just got pissed at me. Over the past 4 weeks she has told me that she doesn't want to lose me and that she still loves me. However, I also noticed that they keep texting/talking even though she assures me that it is over between them and that they do not talk anymore. When I try to talk to her she just gets mad and tells me to stop snooping through her phone and that I will never be able to trust her again. I have to admit it will take some time for me to trust her again (but it is something that I would be willing to do) but she has to stop talking to this guy. We have a ten month old daughter and our marriage has been been put to the test. We have only been married for just over two years but we have been through enough stress to last a lifetime. I feel heartbroken, confused and lost right now. I wish I knew what to do. I want to save my marriage but I know that if she can't stop talking to another man for me then I might need to move on. Thoughts/suggestions? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
30s and single
| Looking for other TAM members out there who are in their 30s and single. I am 32, newly divorced, no kids. I was married for about 2 1/2 years. First and only marriage. So, it's back to the dating scene for me. Well, not right now, but sometime! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Input PLEASE!
| Ok I just got married in August to a man I have been seeing for 5 years. I thought everything was absolutley perfect. 3 days ago I found 3 conversations all offering sex and requesting pictures again. My world fell apart. All conversations have happened the 3 times I have been out of town. He claims he had no idea about the conversations and he must have been too drunk to have his phone and his best friend claims it was him playing a "joke". This does not feel like a joke to me and I am struggling to pretend like everything is normal. I just can't stand the way I feel should I beleive that this is not him like I so badly want to or am I being played for a fool. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Poll: 49'ers or Ravens?
| Who are you routing for in Super Bowl XLVII, 2013? Post a shout out to your favorite team. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Can someone please explain this 180 thing to me?
| I'm seeing it referenced everywhere on here and I have no idea what it is. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
dont think husband ever loved me
| for 8 now years now, My husband has came and gone. He leaves when he is confronted with the things that he does when we are seperated. He lies to me about talking to women online and looking at sexy web sites. then when he comes home i will find out and confront him. He says he cant handle it that it will never change so he runs off and does the same thing again. He says he loves me but then he does the same things. I admit that i get pretty pissed and light into him when i find this stuff out. i just get mad when he says that its not bad because we were seperated. He admits to lusting in public. Im just so disgusted. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Are girlfriends the new husbands?
| Just talked about this with someone. What do you think? Do you talk to you GF about more important stuff than your hubby? Does he even care? I know some guys that are jealous of how much time their spouse spends on the phone with her GFs but they won't do anything but criticize. It's much harder to admit but I think this hurts a lot of guys and they won't admit it. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Need to say UP YOURS.....
| To slow drivers in the fast lane. Up yours. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Same old foreplay.....
| Or is it not even considered foreplay if it's the same dang thing every time. We've been married 20 yrs. Hubby will get in to bed..and roll on his side towards me... put his hand on my leg. Apparently that is suppose to just make me hot and horney. He then procedes to just go for the boobs..and grope..then down below.. No kissing..not talking...nothing.. Same EVERY single time. I've told him this Over and over, that it doesn't turn me on. He still does it. what do I do?? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Divorced 4 Months Am I a Sucker?
| My wife decided to end our 20 year marriage in October 2011. She moved out and we were divorced this past October. I am trying to move on, but every morning while having coffee by myself, I try to figure it out. She had strayed before, about 15 years ago. I think there may have been a couple other "one nighters and flirtations". I think she probably fell out of love with me a long time ago. Funny thing is, the best years of our marriage were 2004-2010. But I should tell you that she did finish an advanced degree during those years. She didn't work during those "best years". She seemed to get distant pretty fast after she got her high paying job. Of course, the career start also coincided with the kids flying the coup. I know I'm not a really warm guy. Brought up in the great white north of tough stock. But I never wanted anyone else. Maybe I'm selling myself short, and I'm just afraid of letting go. I had the kids over Christmas, that was good of her. Right before Christmas, however, I started receiving many emotional texts from ex about insomnia, sickness, her admitting that she divorced me too fast, and general grief about loosing "us". These texts died down right after the holidays. My question is, was her emotional outburst just about missing the family? Or is she embarrassed that she let her feelings out? Because since that time, she has texted me that she does not want to talk to me, not even about the kids. She says it's too painful. "That she thinks of us and me everyday, how could she not?" I guess I'm a little scared to get out there. I do hold out the hope that we will be together again someday. We were such good friends. At least it felt that way. Am I a sucker? Thanks for posting any comments and advice. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Getting through tonight
| How do you get through the lonely weekend nights when nobody else is around and you are feeling so empty and so sad? I keep telling myself all the reasons why I'm better off, but I don't want to lose him! There's no other woman, he just has "fallen out of love" and is convinced that we both need to let go. It's b*llsh*t!!!!!! | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
My Parental Alienation experience
| I last saw my daughters when they were 12 nearly 18 months ago, my ex stopped contact saying that they didn't want to see me any more, we had a court order in place, but it took until September last year to find my ex and serve papers on her, we went to court and she said that they didn't want to see me, and that they had never liked seeing me We did a family conference with a so called court counsellor, and my daughters told him they didn't want to see me, and when he asked why, the things that they told him were all things that my ex had accused me of years ago and that were proven to be false through a court process that involved family reports etc, so it was clear to me, that she had been telling them things that she shouldn't have been, she was re alleging things that I hadn't done but now she was telling the girls as well, after reading the report from the counsellor, my solicitor and later the court appointed child solicitor all formed the opinion that my ex was responsible for what my daughters were saying However they said that as they were now nearly 14 that the court would not go against their wishes, even if it was proved that my ex was behind what they were saying, so I decided to settle and we drafted a new court order that allowed the girls to see or contact me in any way that they wanted when they wanted to, and for me to be able to contact them by letter, emails, text messages and other forms of social media I have written them each a letter every week for the last 10 weeks, I send them the occasional email and text message, I have only had a few emails from them, all very sterile and without any feeling in them, the first was just in response to my query about what they wanted for Christmas, and was just addressed "Hi" we would like gift cards thanks, and it wasn't even signed, then I got a couple of emails asking if I could help pay for some of their school stuff, again it was just "Hi" and with the request and unsigned, then last week I got an email that was addressed "Dear and my first name", it was again asking for further help, and this time it was signed with both of their names, they had always called me daddy and had never used my first name, so I was shocked and hurt that they were addressing me by my first name, so in my reply I just politely asked them not to call me by my first name I got another email Friday just gone, again this time it was "Hi and my first name", it was signed with their names, and it just said thank for the presents Being an email it is hard to even know if they are sending them, but if they are why are they addressing me by my first name, in one email they still used mummy when referring to their mother, and it had always been daddy for me, I know that as they get older they may prefer to use dad and I would be ok with that, but using my first name hurts me I always had a good relationship with both my daughters, they were always loving and caring towards me, they were always happy here, we played and did things together, and all our photos and home videos all show them laughing and happy I have since realised that it was hard for them to come and see me, an example of this was that my ex would ring them when they were here, I remember the first time that I noticed something wrong with this was when they were happily playing in the back yard, and she rang, they spoke for a few minutes, I left them so they could talk in private, but when I came back after they had finished the call they were both crying, I thought that something had happened at home, and I asked them what was wrong, and they said they were sad because mummy had said that she was sad and unhappy because she missed them, apparently she did this a lot, as later on the girls would just spurt out things when they were young, like mummy said she was gonna miss us when we left I think that after that phone call I had spoken to her and asked her to be mindful of the girls when she spoke to them, but I don't think things changed much, as their mood always seemed to change after one of her calls, so I do realise that it was not easy for them to visit me, she should not have made them feel responsible for her happiness by saying what she did to them, after becoming aware of what she was saying to them I sat down with them and explained to them that I missed them when they weren't with me, but that it is natural to miss people that you love, but I was happy because I knew that you were happy and safe with mummy, and I think that they understood what I was trying to explain to them I have since been advised by a psychologist that her behaviour in making them responsible for her sadness is a form of emotional abuse I think I understand that it also may have something to do with why they are saying that they don't want to see, but I'm not sure, and I don't know why they are calling me by my first name | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
I'm sorry for being an idiot but want some opinions
| Hi. I left a few months ago in a toddler tantrum. I am told I never had tantrums as a toddler or child, but when I found out about my cheating spouse I became a toddler and ranted on this forum to anyone when I felt attacked in the past here and handled it poorly.:( I have since grown up a few years now - after many months of therapy for my post traumatic stress syndrome - yes it is very real, and 3 twelve step meeting a week - for spouses.:o I hope I will be accepted back into this community, now that I have grown and am not as co-dependent as I was.:) My question for anyone who wants to answer is simple: Am I a complete putz to stay with someone who has cheated on me our whole relationship and did it during work hours so I'd never find out, with porn daily, strippers (the whole nine yard touching, grinding, grabbing, trying for intercourse), massage parlors (intercourse, bjs, hand jobs, sponge baths of all things), street prostitute, call girl, and peep shows. No, I don't need to go onto the addiction thread - I deal with that several hours a week in person, thanks a head of time. I have a toddler (hence I know I acted like one here) and I am not financially sound. Leaving right now is not available to me, but am trying to find ways possibly in the future. My spouse is going to meetings, will be attending group counseling and goes to IC. He is willing to do whatever it takes, now that I found out. So, how much of a putz am I, people? Just wondering what others here think that have never ever been even close to being in this predicament, possibly. My daughter is so happy, she loves us both so much we are so lucky, it's unbelievable. She is also gifted as she has been tested by psychiatrists who tell me I must work hard with her and find her the right schools,etc. See, all this is on my mind also. I owe her happiness and safety.And her father is quite amazing with her. He was not amazing with me, but with her, amazing - even if he didn't think he put her health in danger when I was pregnant - he was very selfish regarding his sex with prostitutes...yes, I know, I know -- I have let him have it 100's of times regarding that. But again, I am sorry for how I acted in the past. I couldn't take any criticism and my wounds were so deep as if I my skin had been shredded off, skinned alive and I was put in scalded water...sick imagery, but honest. I've gotten so much help in person, but enjoy browsing here still and have learned so much now - I couldn't learn before, you see. I was completely in denial and unable to listen, I could hear, but not take in or listen, only react. Thanks. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Feels like fleeing!!
| I really don't know how much longer I can stand to do this, all day long after my husband get home from work, he gets on the damn computer with the friend he invited to live here and spends no time with me or his son! today I went to my moms, I left my key by accident, but he was here and so was his friend I stood at the door for 5 minutes ringing the door bell, I know the friend heard me, he as just to lazy to get up...I beat on our bedroom window and all hell broke lose between my husband and I, I want to leave, I feel like leaving! Im irriated, im tired of having no privacy in my own house.....my son is sleeping with us in our room because he gave his room to his "so called mooching buddy"! I cant take this arguing and being blown off everytime I "bring up" that the friend being here Is bull****....im just freaking so sick of it! :mad: :mad::mad::mad: If he loved me he would listen, if he cared he would MAKE some time for us and since he has t ime to play world of warcraft all night, he could def be spending time with us........ | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Separated since Oct- he has someone else
| My husband and I have been separated for a couple of months. Within 2 weeks of our separation I found out that he already met someone. He introduced her to my kids (18 and 20). He brought her to his Christmas party. He sleeps over her house..... He is my high school sweetheart. Together for 22 years. I'm so hurt right now. At this moment I feel so much anger and I just don't understand how he jumped into this relationship. He told me he wasn't cheating, etc with her or anyone. He now refuses to talk to me and is 100 percent that he wants a divorce. He was violent and an angry person in our marriage and while it's probably for the best that I'm not with him.....I'm hurting so badly and I just can't seem to let go even though I want to and need to. My emotions get the best of me to the point where I can't function and I will just sleep, cry, or get angry at him. I also don't understand how this person start a relationship with a married man who is very recently separated. I can't wrap my head around it. Has anyone else gone through this and do you have advice on how I can work on letting go?? Thank you | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
I want a divorce but he doesn't
| I've wanted one for a long time, but every time I bring it up, it's like world war III. We are not happy, I just wish he would want it, too. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Could you completely ignore it?
| ......... | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Considering distancing myself from my parents (quite long)
| Over the last four to five years my family life has been... Turbulent at the best of times. I have three younger siblings (I am the eldest). The middle child who is currently 16 has pretty much made our lives a misery. my sister is heavily into drugs (mainly cannabis but also speed and ecstacy) and alcohol. Has self harmed in the past, struggles with an eating disorder (though the doctors argue this isn't "true" anorexia and its merely a symptom of her drug abuse. She was hospitalised very briefly over the summer but has since returned to her old ways. Stealing from family members. Going missing for days at a time. Really the list is endless. On one hand, I feel very sorry for her, she's mentally ill and i probably should support her but I can no longer do so. im currently at university and I genuinely find it difficult to deal with my family drama even from the opposite end of the country. I feel as though often, my parents don't contact me to see how I'm doing, or ask how I am but to complain about whatever drama my sister has caused now. my parents are entirely different people from the parents I knew growing up, the argue a lot now...and argue about what's best for my sister, I feel resentful of her because she causes them to argue and it disrupts my youngest sisters life who I'm very protective of and I believe it's genuinely cruel of my 16 year old sister to have subjected her to such emotional upset. She went as far as to "fake an overdose" a few months ago because she got herself kicked out of college (she was skipping class to go get high with friends and was given plenty of warning by the college before they did indeed kick her out). She claimed to have taken a bunch of pills, her bloodwork was clean, and then made a fuss in the hospital by refusing the come home (she thinks my parents are unreasonable for not letting her out until 5AM every night). All of this was going on as my other sister was in the hospital genuinely sick and waiting for an operation. A couple of years ago I began to suffer with anxiety, it began with trouble sleeping, eating ect. I began to get pain in my stomach which my doctors believe is related to emotional stress. I've been hospitalised a few times due to stomach pain so bad I needed morphine which is "undiagnosed". My hair has thinned out a great deal (and falls out quite a bit these days). I grind my teeth to the point of inflaming my gums. i have panic attacks and during my second year of university I became somewhat afraid to leave my house to do anything other than my everyday scheduled day (work, uni) I found it difficult to go into class and would have panic attacks frequently... Which I still do. i told my parents a few weeks ago that if they wanted to continue to attempt to have a relationship with my sister, then that was fine, I support them in that choice but told them that I couldn't do that anymore. I have no interest in having her in my life now, or in the foreseeable future.. And that I wouldn't be returning home for the mean time for visits ect. the way I think of it, I've got to look after myself. My parents seem blind to the endless anxiety symptoms I'm displaying or my own depression, and simply out it down to "stress from university". i feel like I'm taking the best route out for me, but I've been accused of being "childish" and that I should "grow up". I also get the "you love your sister really" line ALOT. which angers me because I don't fully understand why people can assume to know how I'm feeling. It's probably horrible to say but my life is no richer for having my sister in it. Quite the opposite, and whilst I don't wish death on her or anything I certainly wish she wasn't around. any advice? Do you think I'm correct to stay away? sorry this is so long, thanks if you stuck with me till the end. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
I have BPD
| I am a 22 year old male. I have never been diagnosed but I am pretty sure I have BPD. :( Should I continue seeking a partner or stop dating completely? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)