Would it be considered weird/wrong to ask a 17 but nearly 18 year old girl out to the cinema when I'm a 23 year old guy? Or would it be better to wait until she is 18?
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Is this wrong?
men who join clubs are kinda losers? trying to find a guy
in uni i joined the ultimate frisbee team, i remember on the 'intake' take loads of people turned up, but the members were kinda like unappealing guys for relationships. it was either looks or personality, usually personality. they werent bad people but they just werent cool, if you get me. i enjoy running so i thought a running club would be a great place to meet an athletic guy who wasnt lazy and into fitness. i havent gone to any clubs yet but on a parkrun, i noticed that they were a bit similar to the ultimate firsbee guys, kinda nerdy guys, sometimes a little camp. so now ive started to think joining clubs as an adult is kinda for lame people who have no friends?
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I have to leave him
I started to write a topic and I am unsure if it posted. A little background . I have been married 18 years. My husband would lose it once in awhile and hit me and verbally attack me and put me down. Most of the time he gave me a very special love that felt so good that I would put up with his very 3 to 5 month out burst.
we were best friends and attached at the hip. I became depressed and he lost it. Almost daily he is hitting , kicking or even choking me. He had never choked me in the past. Also as sad as this sounds I would forgive him for hurting me. Today is the first day that I have not forgiven him yet. He slapped me so hard that he hurt my neck. He also wrote me a sorry note which he has not said sorry now in 5 years but a few times, this sorry he gave me could be because I didn't say anything after he he slapped me. Use to I cry or tell him how he hurt me or go on with what we were fighting about, but this time I just sat in the car. The car is my place I spend a lot of time in I also sleep in my car when I am kicked out by or scared of him.
I feel like the nothing he tells and I for the life of can't leave him. This is sad to but he tells he doesn't respect me, he spent all of the money I got from a settlement that was to go to help me to get better, by telling me that I was controlling him and he would bully me for it. He keeps sex from me now. I need that to feel bonded but that is gone now. He calls me the ugliest of names and he tells me how lazy and crazy I am. When he does this I cry. I cry everyday. I cry so much that the corners of my mouth can not heal from being hydrated. He tells me things about the way I look. But dang if I will not jump at the chance of any type of affection from him.
I can't even think of how I can hold a job. I hate myself for all of this. The mental abuse has made me a nothing. The physical abuse are just throbbed reminders that I am a nothing because for some reason I am the loser that is staying with him. I want him to stop hurting me and I want a big hug from him and a huge sorry with a promise never to do anything like this to me again. I am trash for staying with him and I make it worse for myself because I loose control and and yell at him or look like a crazy lady to anyone saw me because I am so tired that I'll loose and yell at him all crazy like.
I get so lonely that I will lay down next him after he feels askeep. I can't help it. I have no more friends I stay away from my family because I can't look them in the eye due to my shame of being able not to leave him.
I need help. I really do. There is something wrong with me. I'm more scared to leave them than stay. This all my fault. Please someone help me to build my self esteem to leave and be safe. I know that it is going to be easy for people to say leave him, but I already know this. What do I do. How I leave a man that is doing this to me and yet I feel like I am betraying him right now for writing this.
we were best friends and attached at the hip. I became depressed and he lost it. Almost daily he is hitting , kicking or even choking me. He had never choked me in the past. Also as sad as this sounds I would forgive him for hurting me. Today is the first day that I have not forgiven him yet. He slapped me so hard that he hurt my neck. He also wrote me a sorry note which he has not said sorry now in 5 years but a few times, this sorry he gave me could be because I didn't say anything after he he slapped me. Use to I cry or tell him how he hurt me or go on with what we were fighting about, but this time I just sat in the car. The car is my place I spend a lot of time in I also sleep in my car when I am kicked out by or scared of him.
I feel like the nothing he tells and I for the life of can't leave him. This is sad to but he tells he doesn't respect me, he spent all of the money I got from a settlement that was to go to help me to get better, by telling me that I was controlling him and he would bully me for it. He keeps sex from me now. I need that to feel bonded but that is gone now. He calls me the ugliest of names and he tells me how lazy and crazy I am. When he does this I cry. I cry everyday. I cry so much that the corners of my mouth can not heal from being hydrated. He tells me things about the way I look. But dang if I will not jump at the chance of any type of affection from him.
I can't even think of how I can hold a job. I hate myself for all of this. The mental abuse has made me a nothing. The physical abuse are just throbbed reminders that I am a nothing because for some reason I am the loser that is staying with him. I want him to stop hurting me and I want a big hug from him and a huge sorry with a promise never to do anything like this to me again. I am trash for staying with him and I make it worse for myself because I loose control and and yell at him or look like a crazy lady to anyone saw me because I am so tired that I'll loose and yell at him all crazy like.
I get so lonely that I will lay down next him after he feels askeep. I can't help it. I have no more friends I stay away from my family because I can't look them in the eye due to my shame of being able not to leave him.
I need help. I really do. There is something wrong with me. I'm more scared to leave them than stay. This all my fault. Please someone help me to build my self esteem to leave and be safe. I know that it is going to be easy for people to say leave him, but I already know this. What do I do. How I leave a man that is doing this to me and yet I feel like I am betraying him right now for writing this.
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Strange thought going on here...
Hi
I'm married to a wonderful guy. I want to kiss him, hug him, hold him, have sex with him, etc. all these feelings and wants I get with him.
I have always been a bit hesitant with guys touching me due to a small incident in childhood with a young boy. So I am thrilled to be with this guy whom I want to touch me etc. however, I am worried a bit about our sex life, we are just working our way through this, so I can't say there are no sexual exciting feelings, yet, I still need to discover this.
I think I have a bit of a block on my mind, because it feels a bit rough with foreplay to me, he tries hard to be gentle. Plus he is skinny, so I can feel his hip bones, which makes things a bit uncomfortable! But rest assured he eats very well!
The thing is, I lived with a friend who is female, where I could actually get some quite noticeable strong 'tingly' feelings from her, in a sexual way. I wanted to and enjoyed hearing her have sex with guys and I kind of wanted to touch her breasts, she mentioned that her boyfriend couldn't get her to orgasm and I wanted to help her achieve it. But I wouldn't want to have a romantic relationship with her and never wanted to kiss her. She would always be just a friend and an annoying one too!
So... I want amazing tingle feelings like that with my guy, but doesn't seem to be happening- yet?!
Any suggestions about what is going on in my mind?
Thanks!
I'm married to a wonderful guy. I want to kiss him, hug him, hold him, have sex with him, etc. all these feelings and wants I get with him.
I have always been a bit hesitant with guys touching me due to a small incident in childhood with a young boy. So I am thrilled to be with this guy whom I want to touch me etc. however, I am worried a bit about our sex life, we are just working our way through this, so I can't say there are no sexual exciting feelings, yet, I still need to discover this.
I think I have a bit of a block on my mind, because it feels a bit rough with foreplay to me, he tries hard to be gentle. Plus he is skinny, so I can feel his hip bones, which makes things a bit uncomfortable! But rest assured he eats very well!
The thing is, I lived with a friend who is female, where I could actually get some quite noticeable strong 'tingly' feelings from her, in a sexual way. I wanted to and enjoyed hearing her have sex with guys and I kind of wanted to touch her breasts, she mentioned that her boyfriend couldn't get her to orgasm and I wanted to help her achieve it. But I wouldn't want to have a romantic relationship with her and never wanted to kiss her. She would always be just a friend and an annoying one too!
So... I want amazing tingle feelings like that with my guy, but doesn't seem to be happening- yet?!
Any suggestions about what is going on in my mind?
Thanks!
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Finally she talk to me!
Yesterday I received a phone to my wife, we talk about my drinking problems and our relationship. She gave me a condition that they will back to me if I stop drinking. I decided to stop today and this is the first day without alcohol I have to do this to make them back. What are some ways to fast recovery from this drinking addiction.
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Do orientals go for black guys?
I'm wondering whether oriental girls would go for tall black guys.
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Anyone still in love with their exes?
Still in love with mine and it's been a year since we broke up and we don't have any sort of contact with each other :(
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GIRLS; Why do you let boys to touch you and leave him afterwards?
Hi, actually I'm wondering why girls let us touch them and leave us afterwards? Why is that really? :D Im talking about when in nightclubs..
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I am a **** person.
Its like 5am and I dont know what the **** to do with myself anymore. I feel horrible, absolutely ****ty, like never ever felt this low before. How do people deal with break ups? How do you get on with life like you just haven't betrayed the nicest most sincere friend you've ever had?
Ive done something horrible and felt I could tell this person but I got what I deserved and now I can't handle it.
How do you get over stuff when you know you've screwed up so bad that there's no going back and no chance of forgiveness at all?
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Being ditched for a potential girlfriend
Basically me and my friend go way back. We're not in the most popular friend group but we share A LOT of inside jokes. However recently he's just started ignoring the rest of this friend group to chase after a girl who might be interested in him in another friend group. This is certainly the case, and I know he's as desperate as ****.
But when he starts to call me being 'unreasonably stupid' but referencing inside jokes when talking to my friend group when this particular girl is there then accusing me of having a motive to make him seem retarded.
I'm pretty ****ing angry at what an arrogant prick he's being. Especially when quite frankly I'm smarter than him but just play the fool in our friend group.
Should I just stop talking to this ungrateful piece of a ****, and wait for his desperate ass to be rejected. Or should I just feign friendliness despite the fact he's maliciously and publicly disassociating me and my friends from him.
Just as a side note, because I'm much more advanced in the nerdy type subjects than him and he's long self-identified with being a nerd. There's reason to suspect that given how malicious this sociopath is, that I've just been a kind of proof of his identity to this group of nerdiness. Such evidence of this includes him feigning interest in obscure maths when I'm openly talking about it in class. However when I talk to them in private about the same topic they don't a ****ing ****.
I know I'm coming across jealous and arrogant in this, but I'm honestly trying my hardest to just give you the facts and to emphasize them so they're not overlooked. As for jealousy, I though It sounds like denial but I don't care about them having a girlfriend. I just am really pissed at the idea of someone trying to hide the fact I 'was'/'am' their friend.
Any advice for the 'friend' of such a piece of ****?
(I haven't proof read this so.. )
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Calling
Not sure if this is the right place but, do you call friends more than they call you or the opposite?
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Questions about wife's past affair and what it all means
So I don't know how common this is but I thought I would ask here. My wife had various things going on with different men, culminating in an emotional affair which ended 3 years ago. None of these various situations was ever physical as far as I know. I have been able to verify that to some extent but not entirely.
So I found out about all of it at once. I found out about the emotional affair from her coworkers and then the rest came out during the weeks of arguing that followed. So most of the past 3 years has been us arguing over what went on and how responsible she is.
So we've managed to stay together. I got counseling and I eventually stopped trying to fix things and said it was all on her to fix. So to my surprise she has done really well and has pretty much done everything I expected. The one thing she can't seem to do is explain the why's and how's I have about all of it.
So problem one is that I remain just in limbo in terms of trying to get it. She has given different explanations for what happened and they actually add up when looked at in total. But she has also been totally honest and some of what I've found out has been disturbing to me, her honesty I guess is doubled-edged.
Another problem is that she still does not seem to "get" boundaries. I know for sure she is not trying to do anything with other men. But she still allows one in particular to violate boundaries and she seems almost afraid to put a stop to it for stupid social reasons. This seems to be what led to issues before though she says she is not who she was then.
So she is doing what I think needs to be done but there remains that huge "flaw" I guess in how she handles things. I think she is still seeing me also as the guy who has to fix everything instead of fully owning it all herself, though she is now totally honest and has allowed me to check up on anything I want to to be sure.
So to sum up its been a years-long series of inappropriate situations with her and other men. The emotional affair and the other situations never became physical but I am not sure of that, just going by what she and the counselor say. And she still sees me as this guy who needs to "man up" and handle anything including all of this stuff. At the same time, she consistently says she doesn't worry about me doing the same (though she expresses a lot of jealousy when women approach me) because I am a "kind soul" (thus the user name).
So once all this has happened, is it always an ongoing problem? Is what she did always going to be in the back of my mind as long as we're together? What else needs to happen to fix things? Thank you for your time.
So I found out about all of it at once. I found out about the emotional affair from her coworkers and then the rest came out during the weeks of arguing that followed. So most of the past 3 years has been us arguing over what went on and how responsible she is.
So we've managed to stay together. I got counseling and I eventually stopped trying to fix things and said it was all on her to fix. So to my surprise she has done really well and has pretty much done everything I expected. The one thing she can't seem to do is explain the why's and how's I have about all of it.
So problem one is that I remain just in limbo in terms of trying to get it. She has given different explanations for what happened and they actually add up when looked at in total. But she has also been totally honest and some of what I've found out has been disturbing to me, her honesty I guess is doubled-edged.
Another problem is that she still does not seem to "get" boundaries. I know for sure she is not trying to do anything with other men. But she still allows one in particular to violate boundaries and she seems almost afraid to put a stop to it for stupid social reasons. This seems to be what led to issues before though she says she is not who she was then.
So she is doing what I think needs to be done but there remains that huge "flaw" I guess in how she handles things. I think she is still seeing me also as the guy who has to fix everything instead of fully owning it all herself, though she is now totally honest and has allowed me to check up on anything I want to to be sure.
So to sum up its been a years-long series of inappropriate situations with her and other men. The emotional affair and the other situations never became physical but I am not sure of that, just going by what she and the counselor say. And she still sees me as this guy who needs to "man up" and handle anything including all of this stuff. At the same time, she consistently says she doesn't worry about me doing the same (though she expresses a lot of jealousy when women approach me) because I am a "kind soul" (thus the user name).
So once all this has happened, is it always an ongoing problem? Is what she did always going to be in the back of my mind as long as we're together? What else needs to happen to fix things? Thank you for your time.
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Frustrated wife
My husband and I have been married 7+ years now- together for 9. Sex has become less and less frequent over the years. I live with the following problem:
1) My husband does not like sex in the morning - we haven't done this since the first month together - and I mean any kind of sex. Weird for a guy right?
2) My husband takes Ambien and an additional over the counter sleep med in order to get to sleep at night (this comes from years of shift work, but still no excuse for this addiction). As soon as the Ambien starts to kick in (when we go to bed) he almost becomes a different person. He can't stop eating - yes, in bed -then passes out. Sometimes he does get handsy with me but it would be like having sex with an aggressive drunk - when you're sober. And when we have engaged in that he has a difficult time maintaining an erection and/or finishing so now I avoid him at all costs once he's taken his pills.
This means, the only time we have sex are the evenings when he's run out of his prescription. I have to initiate since he believes I don't like him touching me - even though I've explained its only when he's stoned, but he doesn't believe that should matter. He does not understand that he's a different person when he's on it - he thinks I'm overreacting.
I've tried many times discussing this problem with him, insisting he either gets off the medication entirely (not going to happen) or he takes it later in the evening - after we're already in bed.
Any suggestions?
1) My husband does not like sex in the morning - we haven't done this since the first month together - and I mean any kind of sex. Weird for a guy right?
2) My husband takes Ambien and an additional over the counter sleep med in order to get to sleep at night (this comes from years of shift work, but still no excuse for this addiction). As soon as the Ambien starts to kick in (when we go to bed) he almost becomes a different person. He can't stop eating - yes, in bed -then passes out. Sometimes he does get handsy with me but it would be like having sex with an aggressive drunk - when you're sober. And when we have engaged in that he has a difficult time maintaining an erection and/or finishing so now I avoid him at all costs once he's taken his pills.
This means, the only time we have sex are the evenings when he's run out of his prescription. I have to initiate since he believes I don't like him touching me - even though I've explained its only when he's stoned, but he doesn't believe that should matter. He does not understand that he's a different person when he's on it - he thinks I'm overreacting.
I've tried many times discussing this problem with him, insisting he either gets off the medication entirely (not going to happen) or he takes it later in the evening - after we're already in bed.
Any suggestions?
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Think I reached the acceptance phase...
Yes, I think I finally got to that phase for a couple of weeks.
I have been remembering things that just tell me "you don't deserve it" and feeling/thought keeps in my mind. As for example... - He was a H that when we were coming back home at night didnt go after me, I was left behind since he drives faster. - Can't remember a single time he talked about our future - Doesnt like the things I like; which can be ok, but didnt make a single effort to join me which I always tried to do until about a month before we separated - Got mad at me because I was slower than him climbing/coming down up/down a volcano trip - If I got angry at something he yelled "DONT YELL TO ME LIKE THAT!!!" - I said I would like to visit my daughter abroad if she decided to raise her family in another country... he said that it was not of his interest to go - 2 stays at the hospital without his visitatitions - I did go alone to visit my kids abroad without him - I did go to a dream trip and told him by phone I would love to celebrate our 25th anniversary there... silence... - Once we went to a concert and I passed out in bed after returning; he told me after like 2 months when I asked what was wrong with our sex life that he was not happy with our sex life because I wasn't "available" during that night ... - And much more to add during these 2 years of separation.
Not blaming him but me partially for letting it all going through. He was not into the M as I was. I took my roles as mom, wife, business woman very seriously, but that was ME. He might be going otherway.
Just today, I had to go and make line for 4 hours for a car name change which he did for the other cars of the company but didnt include mine... his feeling at the time? I dont know, but means something.
SO...
I am really getting tired, or already got. To the point where I am ready to sign those papers now, unfortunately there is still one more month to go.
I found out what I have been missing is the company of someone, the "marriage" status. But not him.
Care about him? Yes. But not as a husband.
I just hope I have the opportunity in my life to have the experience of enjoying a reciprocate relationship; cause what I have had is a codependence relation.
Have a great weekend!
I have been remembering things that just tell me "you don't deserve it" and feeling/thought keeps in my mind. As for example... - He was a H that when we were coming back home at night didnt go after me, I was left behind since he drives faster. - Can't remember a single time he talked about our future - Doesnt like the things I like; which can be ok, but didnt make a single effort to join me which I always tried to do until about a month before we separated - Got mad at me because I was slower than him climbing/coming down up/down a volcano trip - If I got angry at something he yelled "DONT YELL TO ME LIKE THAT!!!" - I said I would like to visit my daughter abroad if she decided to raise her family in another country... he said that it was not of his interest to go - 2 stays at the hospital without his visitatitions - I did go alone to visit my kids abroad without him - I did go to a dream trip and told him by phone I would love to celebrate our 25th anniversary there... silence... - Once we went to a concert and I passed out in bed after returning; he told me after like 2 months when I asked what was wrong with our sex life that he was not happy with our sex life because I wasn't "available" during that night ... - And much more to add during these 2 years of separation.
Not blaming him but me partially for letting it all going through. He was not into the M as I was. I took my roles as mom, wife, business woman very seriously, but that was ME. He might be going otherway.
Just today, I had to go and make line for 4 hours for a car name change which he did for the other cars of the company but didnt include mine... his feeling at the time? I dont know, but means something.
SO...
I am really getting tired, or already got. To the point where I am ready to sign those papers now, unfortunately there is still one more month to go.
I found out what I have been missing is the company of someone, the "marriage" status. But not him.
Care about him? Yes. But not as a husband.
I just hope I have the opportunity in my life to have the experience of enjoying a reciprocate relationship; cause what I have had is a codependence relation.
Have a great weekend!
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Guy coming on too strong
Hello everyone :)
I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. We've kissed and that's it. However, he's sending me 'cheeky' pictures of his ass and almost nude snapchats, it's a little disturbing. He said he wanted me to see the funny side to it, but I really didn't and found it awkward and weird. He knows I'm a virgin and am not interested in having sex with him, but he keeps trying to touch me. He's been in a few relationships himself and has slept with several females in the past, claims to have the upperhand when it comes to 'making love' and I'm really not finding it comfortable. I have mentioned this to him before and he still won't stop or he forgets in the moment. Should I cut contact with him?
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