Mutual Crush with young Professor

I'm married, my college professor is also married and we both have mutual feelings for each other. I tried to stop it by keeping our relationship strictly professional...its a distance learning course and we meet every month...I get to think that im over him, but when we meet it gets even stronger...we both become nervous...he actually stutters when normally he's very articulate.. It takes only an hour and we both talk like best friends who have known each other forever...reading each others minds, almost finishing each other's sentences... Something about him is just 'right' for me...i actually always found men threatening because i was sexually harassed as a child....and my father was extremely angry and violent due to his illness before he died when i was 9 so my mental image of the ideal husband is distorted...it took me some time to trust my husband and i still don't completely trust him after 4 years of marriage...but not with my tutor...no matter how negatively i try to think about him he still seems completely honest and trustworthy. Although i only knew him for two months...we spent three days in a row in a practical workshop, after that it was online communication that was semi professional/ semi friendly... We met again today and im surprised at the magnitude of my emotions for him. I know it must be awful for my husband to have a wife like me...which is why i want to end this infatuation with my tutor...i never speak with him alone...but even when im in a group we just easily make eye contact and communicate in a way i cant even describe... Im not imagining things...it is getting painful just not being with him and im gradually losing my love for my husband...i don't even care any more if he comes home early or decides to sleep in the other room. Im actually happy when he's late...if you ever knew anybody who went through this please let me know how they got over it.

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