| Background I've been married over 12 years. We lived together for about 2 years prior. Everything back then was as good as it gets. We had our first child at 21 (me) (22 her) I worked at and ran my parents small business, an automotive facility that did washing, detailing, and preventative maintenance. I worked rather ****ty hours over the years, but towards the end of my time there, I became more interested in being homeas I realized how much of my daughters lives I was missing. She had always complained about my never being here, then suddently when I do become available she says I'm around to much. She has a few friends I don't really care for all that much, and even with my refusal to go hang out with them (which I might ass, constitutes drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and generally laying on their asses. Tonight was a perfect example. I have to go out of town to KY (500) miles for a two night stay. I'm leaving Sun morning, so I wanted to do something with all of them prior to my departure. Then I get a text TELLING me that we are going to do and who we are going with.....Yes her annoying fiends were there, imagine that. Sex has dropped down to an occasion so rare that is becoming not worth my effort to get any. Unless she comes home half in the bag after drinking liquor based drinks. I mention it, she says I'm not waiting until the middle of the night. Call me precautous, but I don't my 12 year old to com strolling in while my once in a blue moon chance arises. Her thought isk, she knows enough than to come in our room like that, and I'm not waiting for her to go to sleep. :confused: Guess I was just wondering if anyone else that has experienced this could throw me some pointers, I love spending time with my kids 99% of the time....they all get belligerent at some point, and I've always loved having the wife along as well. But suddently she only wants her relaxation time to sit on her ass and do nothing, before going overs to her friends hose All siliihe does, again, it drink beer, smoke cigarettes. Then she gets mad when I don't want her close up to me as she smells like the inside of a cows ass, Any Help, Idea, Make her happy pills!?! :scratchhead: | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
It's no longer what one does wrong, but that the one is always wrong
Power and control
| I am in my second relationship in my lifetime. 1st married 18 years. This one lived together,8 years, just got married 2 years ago. To me this is way to stupid to waste time on but if I want to keep this relationship I must. I am looking to buy a new vehi... Read More | |||
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Paticularly dads- how to handle d's friends crazy dad
| Hi people. l'll have to explain so scuse the length. We separated 9 mths ago . 1 daughter, 11. We live 10mins apart now, with her mum and I see her over there one or 2 nights a wk and she's here weekends and holidays. lt's all been heartbreaking for her and to have her go through this just tears me up. But true to form she's coping , so proud of her and gotten better and better . The first 3-6 mths were lots of emotional belts , crying, deep and hurtful feelings for her getting her head around all this, poor thing. l'm still at what was gonna be our family home finishing it off , 1ac 10 mins out of the local town, tiny. We moved here 6yrs ago. X and my d are in that stupid damn hick gossip town in a rental now. My d's here a lot to and often has groups of friends stay . That's been a great help because they all use to love hanging out here before the sep so it keeps things the same in ways and they have heaps of fun. She's got great friends, very popular but one, an absolute manipulating spoilt sh@t. They aren't close, d doesn't even like her much so rarely invites her out. But , if she doesn't this girl and her mum to believe it, start texting us , the kid jumps on kik chat,hounds my d, starts roomers , pestering , trying to get invited . The mums fkg crazy and tries to force the kid onto anything going on with the other girls . At times even texting or calling me and other parents 15 or 20 times during someones sleepovers , trying to get her kid in. She'll even just turn up , kid in car , some excuse. Another trick's calling a parent saying the girls wanted a sleepover and she's dropping her of now, usually your own knew nothing about it. That kids only stayed 3 or 4 times but every time, caused sh@t and trouble with the others and wrecked stays , every time. Without her they always have a ball, hassle free every time. Since x and d moved into that town , the mum and kid have tripled their fun and games because my d is in with all the other kids and somehow this idiot mum seems to think my d is the key to getting hers into the group. She drive us crazy and it stresses my d out and while she's going through her family break up. One time 5 of them were out here for the week , my d wasn't really up to it in the end and was emotional . Yet in the background we had this damn kid hounding her over kik chat , calling , the mum sent me 15 texts with excuse to drop in. the kik stuff started to get manipulating , my d was getting more and more stressed so l text the mum and said please , can you back your d off a bit. My d didn't invite her , she's very emotional to right now with the split up and your d is hounding her crazy. Reply - oh l don't think so , your d is always provoking her - wtf , l'll come out now and we'll talk about it. THIS IS HOW SHE WORKS. No thanks we're just heading out . 6-7 more text from her , still trying . Eventually they stop. There's been 4 or 5 other stays and things gone exactly the same . Absolutely non of their business , they weren't invited , but the same crap. l've tried to tactfully back the mum off and avoid calls text after. This is how my x handles them and said it works. Well , last week , 10 at night , i get a wild text from her hubby, don't even know the guy, l don't even know her, x did. Your kid upset mine at school told others not to play with her, she's here in tears. l'm fed up with this sh@t if you don't get her back into line l'll take thing's into my own hands . you even smoked in the car dropping my d off and wouldn't turn the air con on for her , your rude to my wife , you didn't even have the decency to wait with the girls out front when my w picked her up, ra ra ra . Well that drop off was a 3hr trip, l had two ciggs, the air con doesn't work. 5 other girls in the car , we've done the trip a dozen times and always have a ball. His kid complained and complained,she wrecked the whole trip, ALL the fkg way. l tried to keep the sh@t happy though. The night the w was picking her up from here , my d's birthday, 6 other girls, but this one was causing crap non stop , all night , ruined it all- until one of the others got so sick of her pushing around and slapped her back. This put fatty in tears, she called mum to pick her up. l was waiting with them but they were working things out so l left them at it for a few mins - the mum came. Everyone ignores the mum and the kids hounding and texting , they dunno what else to do with her. l've tried to be polite and then left it at that. So l get this text -wtf ????? think oh better ring this dude l think and work this out. l hadn't seem my d that day and knew nothing of any crap at school. He answers , he's already yelling , my d this , mt d that , he's is in tears ra ra , then starts spitting out all the stuff in his text , calling me names , roaring he's coming over to punch me in the fkg head, every time l got one word out he'd cut me off roaring again.I said alright - fkg come over then , we'll work this sh@t out , calms down , oh l'm not coming out there , finally explains what happened at school , then starts roaring again. Fk this , l hang up. I haven't even met this fkg moron but l better go see d, find out what happened at school anyway , couldn't get them on the phone. As usual , his kid was forcing herself onto my d and she just wanted to play with her other friends and "they" actually said something to his. Now his is a big girl , she's way over weight, bossy , manipulative , she causes that much crap , she's always pushing the others round, then she goes home and tells stuff to her parents and gets them on the phone about the others, She's a nightmare. And this , this was nothing , just another day at school , my d could not believe she even told her parents , or he went off. This has happened before though with the parents . 3 wks back even there was a bus trip. The mum rings up my x crying because my d sat next to someone else and hers was in tears the whole trip. A wk later she turns up on her door step,bag , kid , apparently they were having a sleepover, mine new nothing about it. First l've got this crazy dad on my hands now , can't talk to the moron , his threats - wtf ! What the hell do I do with him . Every things twisted by this damn kid , the mum. We don't even know them , mine doesn't even like the damn kid , we just mind our own business , my d has her things , they start their sh@T He's flying off the handle , he could turn up at x's with out me around , here , it's fkg crazy. Then , we have that damn kid and the mum, who never fail to create drama , invite themselves or nag you or my d non stop until they are , it's fkg insane. We've even started keeping any of my d stuff quiet but they find out and the sh@t starts every time. Sorry this is so long, you'd have to know it all though to really get it so . | |||
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Made a mistake...
| The other night while my husband was out of town I went out with some co workers, with one of them we have always been a little flirty. I guess I have had a crush on him for a while. Anyway after getting extremely drunk we ended up hooking up. I don't know what to do now. I am wracked with guilt and don't know if I should confess or not. I love my husband but things have not been good for a long time but I never meant for this to happen. It was even horrible, I barely even remember it. It just seems like a bad dream. Now I feel so guilty over my husband and I will still have to face this guy at work. What should I do?? | |||
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Gif it up
| No one wants to wait for that perfect moment for Frenchfry to dazzle us  Got a great gif? Let's see it!  Remember, you could really make someone's day by your contribution!  Remember, let's keep them  Stuff like this  Just makes people  Everyone cool with it?  | |||
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Sexually transmitted diseases or infections
| If you have been checked for sexually transmitted infections and you are all clear, and then you have sex with someone who is also clear of any sti, is it possible to give them an sti? Also, if you do have an sti and treat it.. after you have been treated, if you have sex with someone who is all clear can you still pass on an sti? Thanks, I appreciate any responses just to clear it up. Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
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Divorce if both parties still love each other?
| I posted about a month ago and got some interesting feedback. Subsequently my wife and I talked a number of times, agreed to work things out, but have still been separate. I tried to take the advice I was given and not appear too needy, etc. Today she tells me that she feels terrible but doesn't think we can patch things up and that she won't talk to me because she thinks I'll try to talk her out of her decision, which is true. But she also claims to still love me. I've been devastated for a month now. It's raw, tearing pain and I don't know where to turn. Has anyone here been divorced even when both parties still have strong feelings for the other person? | |||
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BTW - anyone know any good therapists in NYC
| I guess it's like therapy central, but I've never seen anyone and don't know how to even look. I'd prefer someone in Bkn but that's not critical. I just need to talk to someone, somewhere. Thanks for any recs. | |||
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posting photos
| I've tried three times to upload a photo from my computer, but the system tells me that I've exceeded my limit. I'm given a link to look at my previous images, but there's nothing in my library cause I haven't put up any pictures yet. Also - how do I upload the image only? I've seen some posts with the image and the thumbnail, and then others just have a thumbnail. | |||
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Something happened last night between my girlfriend and her ex
| I just don't know what. I'll keep this brief and factual: I'm 21m, girlfriend is 19f. Been dating for almost 3 months, "official" for 2. Last Wed my girlfriend when to visit her hometown for a few days for her brothers birthday. When she got there, she told me she found out that her twin sister had sex with her ex (who lives in her hometown). She mentioned twice how it was "really weird". Last night, she told me she and her sister were smoking weed at their parents house. She gets very horny when she's high. I'm friends with her on Steam. She is friends with her ex on Steam too. I noticed something last night...she got offline a mere 5 minutes after him. (he did at 1:55, she did at 2:00) Today I just noticed that she de-friended her ex on both Steam and Facebook. ..What does this sound like to you? I'm being paranoid and lots of bad thoughts are going through my head. | |||
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Im 14 shes 17
| Hi guys n girl, Im 14 years old and she is 17 wemet on a camp but she doesnt live in the same country as me, when we watched films she leaned on me and she always smiles to me and so on... i have her number, were texting and skyping, but i need advice because i really think shes the right one | |||
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Feel like i'm being rude asking girls on a date
| I always feel like i'm being rude asking a girl on a date, as if i'm bothering them or they'll get annoyed... It only puts me off sometimes but i'd rather it didn't put me off at all. Why do i think like this? | |||
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Morning sex!
| Quick question about morning sex! My ex-boyfriend used to love having sex in the morning, and I kind of got the impression that a lot of boys were! However, I am dating somebody new and have stayed over at his 3 times now. On none of these occasions has there been any sort of morning action (even kissing, bar a goodbye peck) - the status quo is that he sets the alarm, we get up, we shower separately, and that's it. Because he always mentions showering pretty much immediately after we wake up there isn't really a window to be like 'um I'd rather have you than a shower right now'... haha Admittedly he has to get to work so it's not like there's tons of time but each time we have woken up before the alarm so it would have been feasible. Anyway, I can live without morning sex but it would be silly to do that if it was something he wanted too. Do you think it's possible that he isn't that interested or do you think it's more likely that he assumes I'm not (and therefore doesn't want to initiate). If it's relevant, he had been with his ex gf for a ridiculously long period of time and things had got a bit flat towards the end, so I wonder if he's kind of forgotten that morning sex can be a thing?! Any opinions on this would be very welcome. Also, I kind of pre-empt that there might be some 'why dont you just ask him' responses but would appreciate any guidance on when/how it would be best to do this (like, the night before when he's setting the alarm, the morning of?) I don't feel like I want to try and initiate anything off the bat (ie. I dont want to just wake up and jump him) just as it would be so awkward if he wasn't interested in AM action and none of his actions up til now shown that he is! Thanks guys | |||
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Meeting new people now friends are gone.
| All my friends are all leaving for uni (not very close with them anyway) and I'm looking for a job. I know I might make friends at work but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas how to make friends after leaving school. Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
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Signed the papers today......
| Met with our mediator to sign the divorce agreement today. The mediator left the room and said he'll let us sign them. I have to admit I was crying and my hand was shaking....my stbx asked if I was alright....I said no and signed away... It was just so hard to know that after 6 years of marriage it took 10 minutes to sign it away.... All day I have been crying off and on I am so heartbroken and sad as most of you know from my previous posts, my stbx has seemed to already moved on. Already has his "room" at the Canada lady's house...taking our comforter that we bought in china together. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't looked in the drawer and realized something was missing. He wouldn't have said anything until I asked where it was and he said he needed blankets for his bed. Most of his clothes are already up in Canada.... It just hurts to see that he's buying coffee maker/hair dryer, weed be gone, etc. for her as "things are much cheaper here than in Canada".... In the long run I know it is probably the right thing to do but at this point I am just grieving and I don't know how long this will go on.... This date will be forever in my mind as it's my stbx birthday and I guess I gave him the best birthday gift ever... Just needed to post and thanks for listening | |||
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She wants a divorce, I don't, help!
| There are a ton of issues but to get to the bottom line quickly: Two days ago, during a non-fight conversation about things- my wife said she wants a divorce. I asked if there was ANYTHING that could be done to make her reconsider and she said nothing will make her reconsider she is done. We have been together for 12 years and have FIVE young kids. Some backstory: The understanding we have had since we got together even before any kids was that she was responsible for managing the house, and I was responsible for managing the income. If she wanted help with anything around the house she had to only ask or even tell me. Her central issue has been that she is locked away in the house, abandoned with the children all day and I "get to" go to work. She had a point up until about a year ago, after which I have been trying my ass off. Things reached a crisis stage just about november 2012, when she seemed to just turn off completely and said then that there was no chance of reconciliation. I went through hell for six months doing absolutely everything I could think of to help her. Things seemed to start getting better at the start of 2013. Central issue #2: Her mother likes to take her to the casino every single day of the week. As in, I get home from work and she is walking out the door, and coming home like 6 hours later. At first I blew it off as maybe she was in a phase, then I told her directly but politely that it is my time to and she needs to limit her nights out to two a week. If she is feeling especially generous or cooperative, yes she will only go out twice a week. Otherwise she goes out at least every other day. I can confirm she is with her mom because if I call her moms cell at any point, her mom puts my wife on the phone pretty much right away. I had enough of her going out constantly. So when she goes out for that third day I will verbally rip into her "why are you rejecting your family?" and send her a ton of texts and so on. She HATES that. Central issue 3: THE INTERNET I like porn and she likes to flirt and have all kinds of heavy sexual innuendo with men online in chat rooms and stuff. We both hate what the other does and can never seem to come to any terms. I would stop looking at porn for awhile and it seemed like she was still ****ting up the chat channels, or she would stop chatting with those guys for awhile and I would be looking at porn. That is about it in a nutshell. She hasn't asked or told me to leave, and she is still wearing her wedding band. She still sleeps in the same bed as me though we haven't had sex or fooled around for about a week (about a month on the sex part). When all of this started 6 moths ago she wasn't even sleeping in the same bed as me, she would sleep on the couch. But this time she seems more serious. She has said she can see no way of this working out, and she refuses to go to any kind of counseling with me. I suggested living apart and going to counseling for a few weeks, she won't do it. Is there any hope? I would do anything to keep my family together and work things out with her. | |||
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Do guys like girls with long legs or short legs?
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Boyfriends family coming between me and my boyfriend
| I don't mean to sound nasty or in any way ungrateful, but I really don't like my boyfriend's family. What am I supposed to do? They're just really not my kind of people at all and I don't think they like me either. Ever since meeting them I've felt unwelcome and generally disliked by them. I'm pretty shy and quiet and most of them are extremely loud- think this is the main problem, but i'm not going to change who I am just to be accepted by them. Its getting to the point where I try to avoid going to my boyfriend's house so I don't have to see his family members. I've not told him this, of course, but I feel he may pick up on it sooner or later and hurting him is not what I want to do. He loves his family loads and i'm scared it will get to the point where he has to chose between them and me. We are long-distance and we think one day he might move cities to live with me- which his family may strongly object to! What should I do? | |||
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Does He Like Me?
| I don't mean to sound like a 12 year old but I recently started a new job and have developed a crush with one of the guys I work with. I'm 17, almost 18, and he's 23. He's very outgoing and I'm probably reading too much into it, but I was asked when I was turning 18 and I told him when and he called me 'fresh meat' and said I would be legal. He then would walk past me and brush my back with his hand. The other day he threw something of me and I threatened to beat him up and he said 'what? an 18 year old beating me up' and I corrected him and said I was 17 and he said 'getting beat up by a 17 year old. Even more embarrassing'. He was showing me where something was on the till and his head got very close to mine. Also he was telling another coworker a story and as soon as I started listening he made eye contact, oh god I sound like I'm 8 years old. I don't know if he does, I mean it doesn't really matter, I just want to get your opinions on it. He's really sweet, always asks if I'm managing okay and is super friendly but I don't know if it's because he likes me or if he's like that with everyone. I'm rereading this and I apologise if I sound like a loved up idiot, I'm seriously sorry. | |||
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Feeling insecure in a long distance, non-committed relationship.
| I have been seeing this guy for about 4 and a half months and whilst I was at university. But I moved back home for the summer and we haven't been able to see each other given the distance, time and money. We had a conversation about whether we want to be serious and we both decided to wait until I was back in university to see where the relationship was going. But I asked him if he wanted to be exclusive during the next 2 and a half months we are not seeing each other and he just sort of avoided the subject for a while and then finally said he doesn't sleep with other girls. But I have a hard time trusting that because I constantly feel like I am something he is using to occupy him time until he finds a better replacement and I get paranoid whenever he talk to other girls and hangs out with them and the answer I got from him about being exclusive felt like I forced it out of him. What are your opinions on this situation? I don't feel happy and he is too thick understand that. What are my options? I just want a third party opinion on this. | |||
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Guys, is it easy for you to attract girls who are just your type?
| Basically I'm not the best looking guy out there but I'm decent I dress good, very hygienic and do my best to taking care of myself. I'm not exactly looking for a model, I'm not very tall and slim built so I simply want a petite type girl. But I only seem to attract chubby girls or average but not exactly petite. Some are very hot and some are bit on the larger side. I've dated a few chubby girls its not so bad but I'm getting old now and just want some one just my type for a settled relationship. This wasn't the case when I was 16/17 only in the past few years. These "just my type" girls that I'm talking about seem to be okay being friend with me but If I try to go a bit further I face straight up rejection. My friends don't even think these "my type" girls are hot when I show them. So I have no idea no idea what the hell is going on. Most people probably will have no explanation to this but I want to know if there are other guys or maybe even girls who feel like they are in a similar position. | |||
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