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my driving instructor makes me feel uncomfortable

just wondering if i could get some general advice/advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation.

basically i am learning to drive with my friend's dad. he is a nice guy and i had a bad instructor a while ago so i thought this time around i'd go with someone who i feel is a kind person and will be patient with me etc. i've been learning with him since about november, i think.

my issue is that there have been a few things he has done/said that have made me feel quite uncomfortable and not at ease. i noticed that every time i walked out from my house to the car, he would be staring at my legs. when he got out the driver's seat to let me get in ready to drive, he again looked at my legs, EVERY TIME. surely if he is teaching girls between 17 and 25 on a regular basis he should be able to avoid staring at their legs to the point that they notice and feel uncomfortable? either way for a while now i have chosen to wear jogging bottoms, a baggy hoody and no make up to every lesson :(

it was my birthday a week or so ago and at the end of my lesson that week he said "i've got something for you, ohh i bet you're gonna say you don't like them now" and went all red and stuttery, then he went to the boot and got me some mini eggs out. it was very kind of him and i thanked him but the way he'd acted made me feel a bit uncomfortable (especially because he seemed so concerned about what my opinion of them was), and since i'd seen my friend (his daughter) the day before i thought he could've just sent them with her. i wondered if she knew about it (i have noticed they are a VERY close family and tell each other almost everything) so when i spoke to her the next day i casually said "eating the mini eggs your dad got me, yum!" and she said "what!? he kept that quiet!".

last week on my lesson he put his hand on my hand to move the steering wheel, obviously i can understand that if we had to move very quickly/we were in danger but we didn't and we weren't so it just made me feel a bit uncomfortable when he had the time to see where my hand was and put his hand somewhere else on the wheel or just tell me to move the wheel myself.

he dropped something round to me last week on behalf of my friend which was very kind of him but again he managed to get a good eyeful of my legs when he was there because i didn't expect him to be there so i answered the door in my usual attire (skirt and black tights).

on our most recent lesson he picked me up at the usual time but talked to me in the car about general un-related-to-driving stuff for the first 15 mins of the lesson, even though i was saying "yep...ok...yep...", putting the ignition on, and making it quite obvious that i was ready to drive. then he didn't ask me to start driving home until about 15 mins til my lesson had ended, so i was out for an hour and a half. again at the end of the lesson i was like "yep...ok then...well see you soon" but he didn't seem to take the hint that i wanted to leave.

has anyone else been in a similar situation? i am starting to want to look for a new instructor but obviously don't want to upset my friend and can't think of another reason to give? he is a nice guy and i don't want to accuse him of being a horrible pervert or anything because he's not, but the way he has acted has made me feel uncomfortable, and even though a lot of the things he's done have been kind, it's the way he's done them that have un-nerved me a bit?


tl;dr - my friend's dad is teaching me to drive, he's a very nice guy but he always looks at my legs and has done other things that have made me feel a bit uncomfortable, what should i do?




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1 comment:

  1. You have a right to address your feelings speak your truth and change i structures. Trust your Instincts. Work with a female instructure or take a full drivers ed class

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