Husband in midlife crisis demands a houseboy (threesome arrangement)

I'm 28 and my husband is 47 and we've been together for 10 years, married for 4 (gay couple). Five years into the relationship he suggested having threesomes, until I finally gave in and we set our rules: we'd both agree on meeting that person, always together, and only for sex. Last December we met an 18 year old guy (let's call him James)for which he sort of fell in love with (they were chatting way too much, the guy is totally his type, and I felt my husband was becoming less interested in me. He also asked James if he wanted to be a backup boyfriend in case things didn't work well with me). He did all this while always reassuring me that I had no reason to be concerned! Last month he dropped this huge bomb on me: he said he hasn't been happy for the past YEAR(!), that he isn't sexually attracted to me as much as before (and modesty aside I am good looking, fit, attractive and could get laid in less than 10 minutes if I'd want to) and that he didn't love me as much as before. He said he wanted James to become our house boy/slave boy and live permanently with us, and that he wants to travel the world (literally selling everything we have to travel the world like gypsies). This was all said within 1 hour; I was devastated, I couldn't believe that I had been married to this stranger; I couldn't and still can't recognize this person. I made some research, and given all these sudden changes, and his complaints about work and our relationship (complaints he never mentioned before) I came to the conclusion that he is going through a midlife crisis and wants major changes in his life, as if that will compensate for what he considers "time lost". I am strongly opposed to having James with us, since it's clear that he is indeed a threat to my relationship and that I am at risk of losing my husband to a boy we met 2 months ago. James also wants to come live with us, he says he likes us both, but clearly he likes my husband best… James and I are bottoms and my husband is the only top. My husband has demanded that James comes to live with us and has literally made that a deal breaker for our relationship: that I must accept it, or we should split because he wants to be a dominant top with a submissive slave boy. I love my husband very much and would do anything for him, but I can't understand why he is doing this to me, how can he put our relationship on the table like this? He says he still loves me, and wants this threesome arrangement to work, but I no longer feel safe in this. I don't want to leave him because I love him with all my heart, but I don't even like James… I have no idea what to do. Do I try to see if this arrangement will work at all? Should I just leave my husband, even if I love him and have been together and faithful to him for the past 10 years? We got together when I was 18, I'm not sure I want/am ready to start a new life from scratch…

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