Im so lost

I dont even know where to begin. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We have one son together and we have been separated and got back together 3 times. This is our 4th separation and we have been separated for 6 months. During every separation he dated, and I never did. This time he got a girlfriend again and I hooked up with my friend. Huge mistake whatever. The problem is I have never been this sad in my life. I have tried everything to move on and just 3 weeks ago he comes here and is like Im going to break up with my girlfriend blah blah blah. So I wait and wait. He never does, and he keep likes saying stuff about sex. I havent slept with him since he moved out, because well I was worried about the people he was with and if he was being safe. He uses this as an excuse for his dating or whatever. I never wanted a divorce but I dont see reconciling possible now and Im somehow shocked by the revelation of this painful truth. How do I overcome this sadness? When does the pain end?

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