The hopeless feeling when you're too ugly for him ...

I don't think anyone could possibly understand this, unless you're ugly yourself. :( I've been infatuated with a boy for nine months now, but I know nothing could ever happen because of my looks. No boy wants a girl who isn't pretty, because that's the most important thing boys want in a girl. And I can't give him that. When I look at him, I see the most beautiful man and I feel so desperate. I know I'd do anything for him. When he, on the other hand, looks at me, he sees a short, ugly, weird girl with bushy hair. He could NEVER see me in that way. I'm not pretty, sexy or curvy. I don't have nice hair or eyes or full lips. I sit in the library reading books at school, and he's always there with his friends and sees me alone. I'm just an awkward little girl with no friends that, unknown to him, absolutely adores him and whose day revolves around seeing and talking to him. Yet, even with all that and the fact that he could never see past my ugliness, I keep longing and hoping and praying that one day ... he might starting seeing me differently. He won't though. I'm just a school friend to him. Nothing else and never will be. Urghhhhhh. I guess I could just tell him, but what's the point in that? I know he'll reject me politely and it'll be too awkward to stay friends. It's the worst possible thing in the world to be ugly. :( What I want most in the world, a boy to love me, doesn't cost a penny, but I can't have it and never will due to being born with a face I didn't choose and can't change. I just needed to let this out. Rant over.:o

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