update on Taking a Break

My girlfriend that is taking the break stopped by on Valentines evening on her way home. She was outta town with her daughter for doctor appointments. That was the first time ive seen her in person in a week. We hugged and kissed and talked a little. I told her that i loved her and she said i know! We talked more and i asked her if she loved me and she said yes. She said we need this break cause i need to decide if she is what i want and she needs to decide if im what she wants. Once again she admitted that she things i was seeing my ex-girlfriend and I wasn't. She admitted that she would still want to marry me if my ex hadn't stopped at my apt and made her think i was cheating on her. I can assure you that I wasn't cheating on her with my ex or no one else and I have never had sex or even looked at another woman since I have been with her. Its like she keeps fightingher feelings for me etc. I told her that we have everything to lose cause I have loved her for the past 18 years and that I am in love with her now and no one else. I told her she could have a key to my apt if she wants. I have nothing to hide. Valentines night was the first time she has been back to my apt since the blow up at the end of December. She called and said as she was pulling in is it ok to stop. I said yes my ex isn't here and she won't be here no more. I told her that I wasn't interested in seeing no one but her and that she has admitted that she would still marry me if the apt incident hadn't happened. We have had the best relationship for the past year and she admits it all the time. Its like she is scared to death to get close to me now etc and is holding back how she feels. I love this woman and we have come so far in the past week when it comes to talking. When she left my apt last night we talked and i told her how i felt etc and she said i don't wanna fight. I said i am not going to fight with u we never fight. I told her that I loved her and that she is making a big mistake because I wasn't cheating and that i will do everything to prove it. I mean her kids, family and everyone likes me and she is crazy about me but she is so hesitant now. SHe admitted in a text last week when we broke up that she is scared. I asked after spilling my guts last night to call me when she got home and she said she will. I figured she would text and that would be it. SHe actually called me when she got home and we talked a little and she had to call her mom and said I will call oyu back and can you beleive she facetimed me on her iphone and we spoke on video. That doesn't sound like someone who deosn't want to be with me. its like she wants to be with me but is so scared because of the apt blow up. I don't want to not talk to this woman anymore and do that while she figures it out. I know I love this woman and I know in my heart she loves me as she admitted last night that she would still marry me if the apt incident hadn't happened. I need to know how to fix that and prove toher I wasn't cheating and move forward and get her back in my life as I really love this woman and was happy being with her. We are meant to be together. She even said we get along so good that its scary. Like she said 99.9% of the time our relationship is perfect. She told me that before we broke up that she has never loved anyone as much as me and has never connected with anyone like me. I feel like if I stop taling to her and let her go it will hurt our relationship because we are both it seems reaching out to each other and contacting each other and we we nt from 2 days of no texting or talking to communicating big time. I feel like if she really wanted a break and didn't want to see me she wouldn't text and that she wouldn't cal and that she wouldn't face time and that she definitley wouldn't have stopped at my apt on Valentines Evening to give me a gift. Yesterday she had an aunt that died that she was real close to and i took some food to the funeral home. My girlfriend and her family were very appreciate and her mom hugged me and my girlfriend kept complimenting me on how sweet that was. She face timed me on her iphone when she made it home and we talked for a while and all went well. The funeral was today and I haven't heard from her this morning and I know she is very busy with all that right now. I figure I won't contact her until I hear from her today as she will be busy with all of the funeral stuff. What are your thoughts as to this and what can i do to prove to her I love her and that she is making a mistake by taking a break all over something that wasn't happening. I was not cheating and I Promise! I love this woman so much it aint funny. And she knows it too! I just want to fix this and all my friends that are women keep saying I can't fix it overnite. I just think she really cares about me and loves me or she wouldn't stay in contact with me. How can i take this slow and still not lose her?

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