She wants a divorce, I don't, help!

There are a ton of issues but to get to the bottom line quickly: Two days ago, during a non-fight conversation about things- my wife said she wants a divorce. I asked if there was ANYTHING that could be done to make her reconsider and she said nothing will make her reconsider she is done. We have been together for 12 years and have FIVE young kids. Some backstory: The understanding we have had since we got together even before any kids was that she was responsible for managing the house, and I was responsible for managing the income. If she wanted help with anything around the house she had to only ask or even tell me. Her central issue has been that she is locked away in the house, abandoned with the children all day and I "get to" go to work. She had a point up until about a year ago, after which I have been trying my ass off. Things reached a crisis stage just about november 2012, when she seemed to just turn off completely and said then that there was no chance of reconciliation. I went through hell for six months doing absolutely everything I could think of to help her. Things seemed to start getting better at the start of 2013. Central issue #2: Her mother likes to take her to the casino every single day of the week. As in, I get home from work and she is walking out the door, and coming home like 6 hours later. At first I blew it off as maybe she was in a phase, then I told her directly but politely that it is my time to and she needs to limit her nights out to two a week. If she is feeling especially generous or cooperative, yes she will only go out twice a week. Otherwise she goes out at least every other day. I can confirm she is with her mom because if I call her moms cell at any point, her mom puts my wife on the phone pretty much right away. I had enough of her going out constantly. So when she goes out for that third day I will verbally rip into her "why are you rejecting your family?" and send her a ton of texts and so on. She HATES that. Central issue 3: THE INTERNET I like porn and she likes to flirt and have all kinds of heavy sexual innuendo with men online in chat rooms and stuff. We both hate what the other does and can never seem to come to any terms. I would stop looking at porn for awhile and it seemed like she was still ****ting up the chat channels, or she would stop chatting with those guys for awhile and I would be looking at porn. That is about it in a nutshell. She hasn't asked or told me to leave, and she is still wearing her wedding band. She still sleeps in the same bed as me though we haven't had sex or fooled around for about a week (about a month on the sex part). When all of this started 6 moths ago she wasn't even sleeping in the same bed as me, she would sleep on the couch. But this time she seems more serious. She has said she can see no way of this working out, and she refuses to go to any kind of counseling with me. I suggested living apart and going to counseling for a few weeks, she won't do it. Is there any hope? I would do anything to keep my family together and work things out with her.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979