whats next help please

I will try to be brief husband of 32 yrs gave 24 yr girl cell # tried to help her go to rehab,gave her $ ect all behind my back they are just friends.when I found out I was devastated said he saw it hurt me n would stop then I would find out they were still in contact.this happened 4 times, l but they are just friends.we started to fight a lot on and off for about a year. I kicked him out asked him to come back,,,when he was ready he did ,we have been trying to make it work. h says he told girl he loved her b/c I had kicked him out n he didn't want to be alone.she is 3 yrs younger than our youngest daughter,we have 3 grown daughters.he says everything is over w/her says he never slept w/her. says it was wrong and it was his fault, now we are at the point where we both say we want our marriage to work but having trouble making it work and go ahead.he says he wants the old me back I tell him he is my world he replies he shouldn't be b/c if somet hing was to happen to him ect instead of realizing than this is how I have always felt {real close}we don't wear our w rings {took off in a fight}told him I was sad about it he asked me are you really that insecure? says reason for everything, is b/c we have drifted apart over time n we will have to work on this. I still can't find the connection w/him, sometimes have to watch what I say {not comfortable} he also says comments like if I cant make you happy maybe someone else can.i feel so sad and lost.confused..all of this started out of the blue, marriage was not perfect before but we seemed to move along together before.all daughters are upset, one wont even talk to him anymore.my life has turned in jerry springer family. open to all for advice thanks

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