Waiting for acceptance in a sexless marriage

My husband and I have been married many years, and had a good sex life until a few years ago. I know it's natural, as we age, to maybe not have sex as often-but we still used to have sex about once a week and it was pretty good. A few years ago we had some financial and other issues (which have been cleared up),that put a damper on our sex lives. We began having sex only about once every two months and only if I initiated and did all foreplay and practically begged. I tried spicing things up, to interest him, but he began to avoid all physical contact-probably in fear that I'd want sex. When we did have sex, it was as if he was only doing it because I'd pressured him into it. It was awful. After a year of this, my self esteem was (is) shredded. I blamed myself. I told him we'd wait until he was ready. It's now been 16 months. He's been to the doctor but there's not much help to be had there. Viagra won't help if you don't want the sex to b egin with either. He's not having an affair, he says he's just not interested. He does not want to discuss the fact that he looks at porn sometimes. How do I get past my anger and hurt to go on with my marriage? At this point, I feel so raw and wounded that if my husband approached me for sex now, I'd just shrivel up and cry. I've spent so long trying to smother my sex drive that I'm not sure I could even have sex again. I just want to stop feeling bad and get on with our lives.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979