The Inlaws - An issue most of us know too well!

We would all like to get along with our inlaws, really we would, I believe it would make our lives sooooo much easier. Though it just seems that they are out to get us, all the time... and for me, it will be a life long mystery as to why? Ladies, the least we can do is support each other as DIL's united in this thread, raising our concerns, and providing each-other with some friendly advice. I'll start... :rant::rant::rant::smthumbup: Start of my story: Hubby and I originally lived with in-laws (MIL, FIL, SIL & BIL's) not our plan originally, though put on us last minute before marriage as they 'needed' hubby to continue to help pay for the house and bills (they work, are still young and are capable... but whatever, cry poor...), so with this being the case, hubby and I could not move out on our own, because supporting them, meant we could not fully support ourselves. It happened to be that hubby found this really straining to his pocket, as as a newly wed couple we were not able to save any money in this situation, let alone go out to dinner and a movie as often as we would like. His work wasn't paying that well either, and he found an opportunity that would double his income in another country, so after alot of difficulty (with the inlaws) we finally moved. Horray! :smthumbup: You should of seen how easily inlaws did paying the bills without us. Though for the luxuries... i.e. pay tv, unlimited internet etc, that they all 'neeed', you should of seen how quickly and nicely one of the BIL's got a job after that, the others unfortunately still laze around at home and are in their late 20's. Yet, of-course, my DH does not see any of this, and views it as completely innocent on their behalf. ISSUES: *Crying inlaws, on the phone everyday whinging, crying on cam and on the phone at-least once a week - "oh we cant live without you our son, oh how could u do this to us, oh we shouldnt of moved away from our own parents for a better life, now we know how it feels and we are sooo upset!" - really bothers me especially because it bothers DH who then is angry all evening and snaps at me, and ruins our evening. *Day before we moved out, inlaws 'sat-me-down' and told me how they don't think I tried enough getting to know them. - Ummmmm Wat in the... :confused: I helped support them financially, and even cooked them dinner, and did the house chores, after work, whilst raising my children and never fought with them, even when they provoked me, daily - What more did you want? **Controlling FI & MI, get involved in everything we do, wanting to know how much we earn, tell me how I should raise my kids and AWLAYS 'warn' me that I better be looking after their son and grandchildren - ???????????? Excuse me! You mean, my husband, and my children - you do not have to tell me to look after them! ***FIL, MIL, BIL's and SIL are apposed to the fact that we have religious beliefs, DH & I, and they are very opinionated about it, and try to teach my children otherwise - DH does not speak up, he doesn't think its important - whereas I DO! ** They all put me down, I even have BIL's and SIL, cutting in when I speak privately about anything to my husband and telling my husband that he's the mad and to shut me up - DH laughs this off as a joke. It's not a joke... its offensive. They put me down in other-ways, stating that DH is better looking then me... picking on every word I say, correcting me grammatically with everything I say, insulting my intelligence, insulting my religious beliefs and my family, my parenting skills, my cooking... etc. *** after everything that I have done for them, taking SIL and BIL's out and about spending on them whilst they are here on holiday, on entertainment and things they want (and expect us to buy), and they never say thank you to me. Infact it was my birthday when one of them were here, and he didnt even say happy birthday to me, until just before he went out with my brother (said in a unenthusiastic voice mind you), even though the whole household had made it clear it was my birthday all day. _ RUDE! FUMING! *** Now wanting to move the whole family down to where we live, another country... they have family where they live, cousins etc, and their entire family minus one son (my DH). WHY??? Especially WHY, when they expect their children to fork out the bill for the visa fees (over 100k as they want it expedited), pay their living expenses when they are here, and LIVE WITH US! OMG! - 1. they want their children to pay (meaning my DH & I as we are the only ones who have a reasonable income, that is reasonable though only enough for us mind you.) 2. my DH is considering it, and has even mentioned taking out a LOAN to make this happen, as he misses his family (fair enough) - though this is at our children's expense, any money we save, will now go to the loan, it was meant to be in their education fund, and pay for health insurance. :( **** Again, THEY CALL EVERY DAY! and when DH is not on the phone to his parents, some time after that his sister and brothers message him constantly discussing our lives, and silly things. - It bothers me, "DH, you are married now, you have a family of your own, why are you always talking to your 'other' family, and not spending enough time with your immediate family, us." - when this is mentioned to DH he cracks it, he doesn't see it like that. QUESTION: After all that - If you're still reading... there is more though I Could go on and on, as I'm sure all of you can when it comes to inlaws. My question is, what do I do... I love DH, and he loves me, though our pact was to put each-other and our children first, always. He says it, though he doesn't act upon it, when it comes to his parents and siblings. I am very concerned, and I do not want them living with us - we made an oath before we were married, that we would not live with inlaws. We all-ready broke that once, and I made it clear it is not happening again. DH agrees, though actions speak louder then words. They are planning to move here one by one, BIL's and SIL on work visas, then to find someone and settle down and get permanent visas, then get parents down... I cannot have them living with us, any of them. Advice? :scratchhead:

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