Is it you that has decided that you do not want sex and have denied your husband? Or was the husband the one not interested and would not go to you?
When I first met husband he was the first man that did not try to initiate sex on the first date and I thought he was a gentleman. We were both in our late 20's. I asked him if he was attracted to me and he said he was and he had thoughts of sex with me but didn't know how I felt.
Sex our first time was initiated by him but 85% of the time it was me going to him and I would ask him why, ask him if he was interested in me and attracted to me and he would tell me that he would have to beg his first wife for sex so he was not going to even go there with me.
The first time he actually denied me sex was 3 months after our marriage and the next day when I asked if everything was okay he said that he wanted me to know what it felt like to be rejected. I told him that I had not been rejecting him so I didn't know why he would have to make this point, I was the one going to him and he got all upset saying I denied him. The ONLY time I ever in all of our marriage recall denying this man sex was when he came to me while I was sleeping, when I was sick or way late at night when I was sheerly exhausted.
This man had 3 fantasy emotional affairs which were open and obvious. he was pursuing porn but not me. I would try to get him to talk and he just denied the affairs and the fantasy I saw him indulging in. If I asked him why he wouldn't come to me he'd tell me he couldn't ell when I was interested.
Finally after 20 years of living like this with this man I stopped going to him for sex. I felt I was seeking him out sexually for any niblet of emotional intimacy I could get and hoping that this would help him to engage in the marriage and saw that it was doing nothing. When I stopped he came to me 3-4 times a year for the first 3 years. This past year nothing and he seems angry at me. I think he's angry because I am the one not going to him anymore and I think he sees it as me denying him sex which is not the case. I just finally gave up on beating my head against a brick wall to get him to engage in our relationship. I saw no interest for way too long and I tried without success and finally threw up my hands and gave up.
Just wondering the stories of other women in the same situation.
When I first met husband he was the first man that did not try to initiate sex on the first date and I thought he was a gentleman. We were both in our late 20's. I asked him if he was attracted to me and he said he was and he had thoughts of sex with me but didn't know how I felt.
Sex our first time was initiated by him but 85% of the time it was me going to him and I would ask him why, ask him if he was interested in me and attracted to me and he would tell me that he would have to beg his first wife for sex so he was not going to even go there with me.
The first time he actually denied me sex was 3 months after our marriage and the next day when I asked if everything was okay he said that he wanted me to know what it felt like to be rejected. I told him that I had not been rejecting him so I didn't know why he would have to make this point, I was the one going to him and he got all upset saying I denied him. The ONLY time I ever in all of our marriage recall denying this man sex was when he came to me while I was sleeping, when I was sick or way late at night when I was sheerly exhausted.
This man had 3 fantasy emotional affairs which were open and obvious. he was pursuing porn but not me. I would try to get him to talk and he just denied the affairs and the fantasy I saw him indulging in. If I asked him why he wouldn't come to me he'd tell me he couldn't ell when I was interested.
Finally after 20 years of living like this with this man I stopped going to him for sex. I felt I was seeking him out sexually for any niblet of emotional intimacy I could get and hoping that this would help him to engage in the marriage and saw that it was doing nothing. When I stopped he came to me 3-4 times a year for the first 3 years. This past year nothing and he seems angry at me. I think he's angry because I am the one not going to him anymore and I think he sees it as me denying him sex which is not the case. I just finally gave up on beating my head against a brick wall to get him to engage in our relationship. I saw no interest for way too long and I tried without success and finally threw up my hands and gave up.
Just wondering the stories of other women in the same situation.
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