I'm a newlywed, however, it doesn't feel that way. I've been married 2 months now... and it's about to crumble... Our relationship is not healthy because I'm not healthy. To make things worst, his family detests me. They see me as "dark" and "toxic" and furthermore a "wh*re". The last one is interesting because that's the root of our problems. One of many but the main one. I am not a wh*re. However, how the turn of events played, I'm pretty much that wh*re. I went through what I suppose is an episode but more intense. I was losing my head and going crazy. I didn't believe what anyone else told me and convinced myself otherwise... this brought our relationship to a downfall... I asked for a break up... but I cried in his arms the whole night... I loved him but I had to let him go... then it happened... I got sicker, physically and mentally... I would go see him hoping that he's in love with me and still faithfully waiting... we even tried to have a baby af ter he left because I thought things would get better for us... but I couldn't conceive... then I realized... he wasn't waiting... he was moving on... to several other girls I might add.. I finally checked into a mental facility and then I got out.. and we decided to try again. This time for good. However, I didn't know the whole truth until we already signed the papers... So now it leaves me at this dilemma. It's been a constant cycle of me lashing out harsh things and not trusting him whatsoever and constantly questioning his whereabouts. Even his family plays with my head and tries to make me second guess him by filling my head with thoughts and yes, it does get to me because he is gone so much... I'm currently back in school and so he's been working overtime several hours and even has 2 jobs... but because of that it's suspicious to everyone and now even me and our number of arguments have increased. I don't know how I can move past this "past" that I just recently found out... what's even worst is that I don't know if I should try to place all my faith in him when he's been hiding this and I had to find out on my own.. On the other hand, he argues that he's done nothing but try his best and he's been working so many hours to take care of everything while I am in school and trying to finish up... I feel like I need an outlet and this community may be a way for me get that and perhaps get better, healthier, and maybe a happier marriage... but it's been a vicious cycle of doubts and arguments and it just feels that one day there's no hope left...
Put the internet to work for you.
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