How do you guys balance Holidays with your families? For example, do you have your own Christmas or Thanksgiving and then see one side of the family and then the other? Does everyone get together? Do you stay at one family's house for a while? And what about smaller holidays like 4th of July or Halloween?
The reason I'm asking is because I have to spend every single holiday with my in-laws. My husband can't seem to live without spending every holiday there and his mother absolutely looses her damn mind if he and my daughter don't go. I should add we stay longer than just that day, usually every holiday lasts at least 3 days with them if it's close to weekend or if days off work apply. It's so weird.
We spend these holidays with them: New Years, Valentines, My Birthday, Spring Break, Easter, Summer Vacation, 4th of July, My daughter's Birthday, Husband's Birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. I have to spend all of them with my in-laws. 12 Holidays a year for the last 7 years I have spent with his family! The only Holidays I got to myself was my 20th Birthday (I spent it alone), one Easter, one 4th of July (also alone), one Halloween and one New Years (you guessed it, alone). So in the last 7 years I've gotten 5 Holidays where I want (although he left and took my daughter to his parents house for 3 of them!) and he has had 79 Holidays where he wants. I should add that trying to squeeze a visit in with my side of the family is difficult as well, I have to see them a few days before or after the actual holiday.
My husband is more than well aware that I want holidays on our own. Everyone freaks out when I try to change this. Everything is "tradition". He says, "Oh but I spent this holiday with my family growing up so it should stay that way". Ummmm you also pooped in your diapers growing up, things change. lol. His mom thinks I'm a horrible person for "taking him away away from his family on such an important holiday" (that was about Easter btw).
I'm about to lose my mind. No matter how many times I try to explain that I want my husband and daughter with me in our home for a holiday, he and his family go nuts. What on earth is going on? Do you guys have to deal with this? How to find balance? I need to treat this like a divorce with children I think, like "you get this Holiday and I get this holiday and then we both share this one". omg. Not how I thought married life would go.
The reason I'm asking is because I have to spend every single holiday with my in-laws. My husband can't seem to live without spending every holiday there and his mother absolutely looses her damn mind if he and my daughter don't go. I should add we stay longer than just that day, usually every holiday lasts at least 3 days with them if it's close to weekend or if days off work apply. It's so weird.
We spend these holidays with them: New Years, Valentines, My Birthday, Spring Break, Easter, Summer Vacation, 4th of July, My daughter's Birthday, Husband's Birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. I have to spend all of them with my in-laws. 12 Holidays a year for the last 7 years I have spent with his family! The only Holidays I got to myself was my 20th Birthday (I spent it alone), one Easter, one 4th of July (also alone), one Halloween and one New Years (you guessed it, alone). So in the last 7 years I've gotten 5 Holidays where I want (although he left and took my daughter to his parents house for 3 of them!) and he has had 79 Holidays where he wants. I should add that trying to squeeze a visit in with my side of the family is difficult as well, I have to see them a few days before or after the actual holiday.
My husband is more than well aware that I want holidays on our own. Everyone freaks out when I try to change this. Everything is "tradition". He says, "Oh but I spent this holiday with my family growing up so it should stay that way". Ummmm you also pooped in your diapers growing up, things change. lol. His mom thinks I'm a horrible person for "taking him away away from his family on such an important holiday" (that was about Easter btw).
I'm about to lose my mind. No matter how many times I try to explain that I want my husband and daughter with me in our home for a holiday, he and his family go nuts. What on earth is going on? Do you guys have to deal with this? How to find balance? I need to treat this like a divorce with children I think, like "you get this Holiday and I get this holiday and then we both share this one". omg. Not how I thought married life would go.
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