We get a LOT of BS threads asking for advice on what they can do for either R or D. Every case is different and they have many variables but are there some actions that fit almost every case? This thread is going to ask for your impute on what you feel would help the BS regardless if they R or D. I will go first.
1 I think that the BS should immediately get busy with building themselves up in body, mind, emotions, and spirit.
If there are areas that the BS has been negligent then correct those. Usually there are areas that the BS has that has hurt the WS and those need to be corrected. I am NOT saying that the neglected areas by the BS caused the WS to cheat; we have already covered that issue many times.
In addition, there may be areas that the BS can improve upon that had nothing to do with hurting the WS but would give the BS strength and confidence within him/her self.
When you build yourself up body, mind, spirit, and emotions you have much more strength to be able to live with them or without them. This is not for revenge but will enable the BS to take actions that will be best for the BS and the WS in the event of D or R. IMO
As an example, after D-Day I went back to college, started exercising, and got involved with my spirituality. In addition, I got closer to friends and family that helped to fill some of the voids in my emotions. Basically, I got very introspective and did some things that made me a better person and I was pleased with myself more. I got to the point that I could live with her or without her but there was still some pain. Within my whole being I was mostly wanting to R, most of the time, but was not going to compromise respect and integrity or other very important issues. I was finally strong enough to live with her or without her, to go either R or D, and I credit building myself up for most of that gain. You cannot control your spouse but you can control yourself.
Ok what do you all have as information/advice that would help the BS regardless if they R or D
1 I think that the BS should immediately get busy with building themselves up in body, mind, emotions, and spirit.
If there are areas that the BS has been negligent then correct those. Usually there are areas that the BS has that has hurt the WS and those need to be corrected. I am NOT saying that the neglected areas by the BS caused the WS to cheat; we have already covered that issue many times.
In addition, there may be areas that the BS can improve upon that had nothing to do with hurting the WS but would give the BS strength and confidence within him/her self.
When you build yourself up body, mind, spirit, and emotions you have much more strength to be able to live with them or without them. This is not for revenge but will enable the BS to take actions that will be best for the BS and the WS in the event of D or R. IMO
As an example, after D-Day I went back to college, started exercising, and got involved with my spirituality. In addition, I got closer to friends and family that helped to fill some of the voids in my emotions. Basically, I got very introspective and did some things that made me a better person and I was pleased with myself more. I got to the point that I could live with her or without her but there was still some pain. Within my whole being I was mostly wanting to R, most of the time, but was not going to compromise respect and integrity or other very important issues. I was finally strong enough to live with her or without her, to go either R or D, and I credit building myself up for most of that gain. You cannot control your spouse but you can control yourself.
Ok what do you all have as information/advice that would help the BS regardless if they R or D
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