This is my story that I posted on another forum on May 13, 2011: Quote:
Never thought I would be on this website posting my story, but here I am :(
My wife (27) and I (30) have been married since September 2008 and have a beautiful 2-year-old boy. I have a very stressful career and about once every two weeks or so, I would go to a bar next to my work and come home drunk. I admit that I have an issue with alcohol and my wife always complained about these bar visits.
In February of this year, my wife's father passed away. I was very supportive of her for a few days, but then again made a visit to the bar because of a really crazy day at work. This drove my wife crazy and rightfully so. I regret ever doing that and only if I could turn back the clock . . .
Our relationship has not been the same since and starting in April of this year, my wife changed 100%. First, she asked me to take care of the baby 2 to 3 days a week as she had to go to Starbucks to study (she's in nursing school). Our neighbourhood Starbucks closes at 10 p.m., but my wife would come home around 2 a.m. drunk. Then, there were three days in April when she did not come home at all. She told me the next morning that she was studying at her fellow student's (a girl) house and simply fell asleep on the couch. I told her to please not insult my intelligence, but she stuck with her stories. She also changed her email and Facebook passwords and became very protective of her cell phone. This was very suspicious behaviour but, for some stupid reason, I could not imagine her having an affair with another man.
Last Thursday, she told me that she was going to have dinner with one of her girlfriends and asked that I stay with the baby. She even told me that she was going to discuss our marriage with this friend and hopefully get some advice on how we can work this out. I was very happy to hear that she was willing to give me another chance. As she left, I discovered that my son cracked my laptop's screen. So, I decided to use my wife's laptop and noticed that she had auto-saved her Gmail password on her laptop. I know this is wrong, but I decided to check out her emails and found an email she sent to this guy with pictures from a Lakers game that they went to on April 10 (one of the 3 days when she stayed out all night). They are kissing and making out in these pictures. And, get this, this dude is a bartender from the bar that I frequented.
Viewing these pictures simply drove me crazy and I called her immediately. Turns out she was at the bar with the dude and she came home tipsy a few minutes later and confessed that she had slept with this bartender on those nights that she did not come home. Also, she blamed me for not meeting her needs and then she left our house to spend the night with the bartender. Of course, when she sobered up the next morning, she came home all panicked and repeatedly apologized for her actions. But, her leaving to spend another night with the man an hour or so after I discovered her cheating is proof that she did not care about our son an me.
Now, I'm in a situation where I want to leave her one second and forgive her the next. I understand that I have not been a perfect husband, but I have never been unfaithful (well, one could argue that I had an emotional affair with alcohol). I simply do not know how to deal with this situation. I still love her, but I know for a fact that I could never trust her again.
Thanks for listening!
| It has been almost two years since I discovered that my wife was cheating on me with a bartender. Since then, I've divorced her and tried to move on. But, I must say that it has been an extremely difficult road, primarily due to the fact that I still love her. Since our separation, I have not been able to hold a stable relationship with any woman and have wasted thousands of dollars on emotionless sex with escorts. Also, my alcohol consumption is out of control. I am sick of my mind playing games on me. I am fine one moment, but the next, I am inundated with emotions of betrayal. I worked hard to make her happy, I held her hands during the difficult delivery of our beautiful son, I encouraged her to get enroll in college and not worry about her bills, I went out of my way to shower her with expensive gifts . . . but, in the end, she picked a player bartender over our son and me?!?! This does not make any sense to me and after that betrayal, I cannot find the courage to trust any other woman EVER again. Are these emotions normal . . . even after two years?? |
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