Winds of Change?

Posted below is a link to my two previous threads, earliest first: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...-fell-way.html http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...sink-swim.html I am posting this here because I strongly think I need a female's insight. Well the plot thickens. Below is an email from W from a few days ago and I opened yesterday. ......thanks for paying lights..also..after the divorce or even before its final if you would like to take me out..that would be nice..i still love you..just not like im suppose too..never know a flame cud light back up..its up to u.................. -light bill is in my name and they have a $150 re-connection fee, as much as she may see this as charity, it wasn't. I will draw that money out of the account when she is paid. -the last time I looked...she wanted out when all this happened. So what's with the 'it's up to you'? -after Christmas it was date after the D, now it's maybe even before D -so I was the one who had their heart broken but I'm the one who should be trying to solve things? Maybe a female can explain this to me. -I guess my non-negotiable has not been acknowledged. But as time has passed since I left the house, minus a few pop-ins while she is at work and am asleep when she gets in, I have slowly seen a shift in emotions. As indicated earlier, she has difficulty in expressing her emotions. There is still love between us but we both have our shields up. My IC told me this (I do not fully agree but would wonder what others think). IC said for a start, put your needs aside and meet hers (disagree, I was not the one who wanted out and their freedom). Once you meet her needs she will already be on her way to meeting yours. Go out on a date and role play as if it is a first date but don't tell her that. Let her find out for herself. Let her know how you will be with other women on first dates. By this she will know, you will not be single long (agree). Slowly bring up the issues you have with her as suggestions (the issues with the dogs, her mother's death, relations with dad, etc....all listed in old posts). Tell her we need to start a new beginning. You can not have a true wooing period while under the same roof. Do not throw her out or completely move her out but, have her go stay with a friend for awhile. Therefore the newness can feel as it did when you first met. (Agree) She does not fully understand romantic love never lasts forever. But she thinks this is what she needs to fall back in love with you. (Agree) Ladies.......what I am concerned about is, being a typical no nonsense person, I will mistakenly turn this into a power struggle. To be honest, I sort of want to but that will not get me anywhere. I do love her and always will, she feels the same. We were always best friends. But we each crawled up in a shell when we felt the other was not giving us what we needed. The D will be final in a few weeks and coincides with her more active approach in trying to communicate with me. As indicated before, I will not stop the D. But I want to see progress on her part to carry us over into post-D. Do I wait it out longer to get a more apologetic response (which I feel I deserve)? Do I go ahead and do the 1st date and view her reaction the few days afterward?

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