What to do?

I split up with my only Love almost 20 years ago. It was on a different continent, during a civil war. We were of different ethnicities and got separated by the war. We both just turned 20, when the war started (and were in relationship for 3 years before then). We kept constant contact for the first two years (letters, phone calls), then ended it - she was under too much pressure by her parents to stop all contacts with me. We kept occasional contacts for the next year or so, then I decided to move on. I immigrated to US, after a few tries entered a stable relationship, and eventually got married. Kids came soon after. However, I never stopped loving her. We got in contact again 10 years ago, wanted to do something more, but I was married with a kid, so we (painfully) decided that staying apart is the best option. We lost the contact again. For the next couple of years we were both fighting (clinical) depression, but managed to overcome it. I tried to become a model father and husband. My family and I have lived normal and stable life. My wife has always loved me. I love her too, but more as a friend to whom I don't want to do any harm, not as a true love for which I'd move mountains... Six months ago, my Love contacted me once more (online). Flames got ignited again... She never got married I learned. She still wanted to grow old with me. I want that as well. But I waited for six months, for all hormones to "wash" themselves away, before admitting anything. Six months has passed, and I still feel the same. However, I am torn - how can I choose between loving wife and happy children on one side and Love of my life on the other?

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