Lazy Wife (Depressed ?)

Hi - I'm a 37 year old male. We have been together for 12 years. Over the years my life has been full of drama due to her, and I've always been steady state. I've put myself through school, and have held the same job for 15 years. The problem is my wife (36)is unwilling to do ANYTHING .... She will not clean, wash her own clothes, pick up after herself, remember to pay her own bills. Her bedroom (We have started sleeping apart because she has to have the TV on and dog in the room to fall asleep and won't compromise) looks like an episode of Hoarders. 20 cokes that are half drunk, clothes everywhere. She might wash clothes once a month but never puts them up, they just end up in another room to be picked through. The house gets nasty quickly and it is always up to me to initiate and get things cleaned up. On the weekend it's like pulling teeth to get her to help clean up at all. And we always end up in a fight because her attempts to clean up always end up in a half ass job that I have to do anyways. She does not cook much either, and when she does she never washes a dish or runs the dishwasher. I literally have to take care of everything to keep from being buried in this house. She currently has a job now and has had it for over a year. This is a new record. She has had more jobs and been fired so many times. She was addicted to pain killers for awhile back then and has always had back problems. I fell in love with her because she does have a big caring heart, but I just feel like I'm not getting any help. I could type all night but the bottom line is the whole house is on me. Our Sex life has waned and is mostly uninspired now. I try to talk to her and encourage her to go back to the doctor and tell him exactly whats going on. No one should lay on the couch all day and do nothing. She has been to doctors and psychologists. She take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. She accepts everything the doctors say as the bible and rarely uses common sense. I feel the meds have ruined her. She is pretty much now a chain smoker and has gained about 40 pounds. She says she is going to go to the doctor but never goes. When we talk or argue about any of this, I'm accused of putting her down and nagging. I may be guilty of a bad comment in the heat of an argument, but the only reason we are fighting is because I can't get her to do anything. I understand that she may be depressed, but she has no drive to fix herself in any way. I feel like I need to start over, I've just put so much time into this it is hard and sad to think about leaving it behind. The bottom line is I'm not happy and all we do is argue. The love seems gone, even though she will tell me she loves me it seems pretty hollow. I feel like I deserve better treatment. Anyways just venting, wondering how many others are dealing with things like this and if there is any advice. I'm open to criticism if I'm not seeing something here.

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