Dealing with abuse

Without getting into too many details, I do believe I am in an abusive relationship where my concerns are belittling (him telling me I don't do enough around the house, him saying I'm a horrible mother, blaming me when things go wrong, etc.), name calling (particularly referring to me as fat when I was pregnant), and finally, there are some concerns over the intimidation that has happened a few times now. It involves squeezing my face at the temples or sides of my chin and preventing me from either calling police, leaving the house, and him saying, "don't use those scare tactics". Afterwards, he says it's not abuse as there are no marks and also says that "it's the only way I can get through to you" or "it's the only way you will listen." He has chased me to the car before to try and take it so that "you will lose your job" if I don't make it in that day (thankfully, I was always able to wrestle the keys away). When I say I want to go to counseling, he says he'll never change. When I say I want out, he says he'll just take the car and that I will have to pay him for the house (which I tell him the court figures out, and I don't have to give him the money upfront). He says there's no way I'd ever get a restraining order, as they don't just "hand those things out" and that without marks on me, I won't be able to get one. Also, he says, "oh yeah, I just beat you and bruise you up" as if to imply that because he doesn't take it to that level, it's not abuse. I had seen a counselor in the past who told me that when he put his hands on my chin that time and lifted me up, it was basically him putting his hands on my neck. There are children we have together which makes it all more complicated. I honestly think he would see what he stands to lose only if I were gone. But yet he loves his kids so much and I feel like a terrible person if his whole world gets turned upside down. I care about his well being. He is in denial about himself being a manipulator and I wish he would read just ONE thing I give him on domestic abuse so he could see he has an issue or I wish he would agree to counseling. He says I am crazy and that the kids are the reason for his stress. What would you do if it were you? This sucks. :(

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