wife on holiday without me - do I get a divorce?

I have two children the youngest has just turned one, the eldest is three years. My wife who works full time has saved for the 'honeymoon' that we didn't have when we first got married. She has saved this money without my knowledge or consent. My parents objected to her and didn't want me to get married to her. My parents gave her death threats. Our wedding which my wife organized was cancelled three times. In the end we had to get married in the Registry office. As a result she refuses to have anything to do with them and there have been a lot of fights over this. All of the problems in my marriage are as a result of the influence of my parents. My wife is so ashamed of me she won't take my name. She doesn't even tell people she's married. When people gave us wedding presents she gave them straight back. She has booked airfares and a hotel to Fiji. She wanted to have a vow renewal on the beach, a holiday for us all fluffy and romantic. I don't want to go as I know this trip will offend my parents. I need to be here when they ring for help. For christmas this year my wife gave me a cut lunch, so I would be ready when they rang and then went out with the kids. We could also use to money to pay a bill and help my parents out. We had a lot of fights because of this trip and in the end I said I won't go, I just won't get on the plane. She has stopped any mention of the trip so I thought she had cancelled because this is how she acted when the wedding was cancelled. She can't get her money back, she told me because I asked for the money when it was refunded to pay a bill. That was the last I heard of it. She hasn't actually spoken to me for at least the last eight weeks. She won't even start a fight with me, which is highly unusual because we normally have a fight once a week about the wedding. If I ask her for sex she is now telling me no ''because my parents will get offended'' or "go and sleep with your mother." Last night I found out from her boss she is still going. Her boss is concerned about her recent weight loss and the number of days she has taken off work. She has done this without my knowledge. She has been stockpiling TV dinners and pet food in the panty and fridge for me and the dog and cat. According to her boss She can't get her money back so is taking the kids anyway; she's not having a repeat of the wedding she has cancelled. She has made arrangements to take her mother in my place. The resort has made arrangements for a proxy to stand in for me, so the vow renewal is still taking place – without me. I am devastated. How do I stop her?

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