Deejov is restless.

I've been living with my son at his place. Things are going well. He's very grateful and happy that I am here, physically he is slooowly getting his energy back and having GOOD days that make him believe that maybe I am right... and things will seem okay in a few months. His eyesight change is permanent :( but crossing fingers kidney function comes back to full power by next checkup (slight decrease, not much to worry about) Mentally, he is still adjusting. He did finally agree to get a medic alert necklace, Type 1 Diabetic is all it says. He mentions "people don't even know what that is". Well, they don't have to , because they don't live with it. But EMS knows what it means. I'm still terrified for him. There is nothing worse than a mother that has been there, done that, woke up in ER (or didn't wake up), a 22 yr old's nightmare -- a veteran T1 as a mom with horror stories of what could happen. He's invincible. It won't happen to him. Sounds just like me LOL LOL Meh, I'll pick up the pieces when he blazes his own path. That's what moms do. My job has been understanding, and I can take time off when I need to. Except there is days and days of work to do, and project deadlines. But the thought counts. Hubby has shown just how low he can bend, and my patience hit the brick wall last weekend. I presented him with a separation agreement and a list of all posessions, he has two weeks to fill it all in and he's free to get his own lawyer to review it. Not the first time I've done this, but he's had 3 weeks of me not being there. He pretended to be stunned. We have talked about it (fights, really) twice since then. I can't say I miss him. I miss the company of a relationship, though. I'm sad about being on my own, in theory. He really thought I was just going to stay at my son's for "6 months" and pay his bills and let him use all my "stuff" in our house. Not gonna happen. Truth is, I'm very content at my son's place. It feels like home. But my soul is restless. Life is on hold.... until my son gets a grip on his new life, until I legally separate and move all my furniture here, until 6 months has gone by and it's fair to re-evaluate what the future might be, and whether or not I stay living here or my son wants his independence back, it's all just for today. And my soul is very ANGRY. Every 10 years, I hear "in 10 years we will have a cure for juvenile diabetes". Do you know how ridiculous it sounds to tell someone "the cause of Type 1 is unknown". There is no cure, it's unclear what triggers it. It is fatal unless treated. What???? That sounds soooo middle ages. Pat on the head. Just accept it, do what you need to do, and you can have a normal life. It seems the world has given up on us. Anyways, I am looking into an outlet for this, gotta be somewhere I can put this energy to use in helping end this. And the other half of my brain... says Karma has been very good to us lately. As much as having my son almost die was devastating.. we had a convo yesterday about "karma". He has a job with paid sick time and rx benefits. I had 12 days off work for the xmas break when this happened. I had a big cheque not even cashed, from working 60 hrs a week the previous month. I had the time, money, and ability to support him. I think a lot about how lots of people didn't have any of that. I'm grateful. For lots of things. Cheers, Diana

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979