Hi, I will try to make this short and sweet, as i don't want to make a autobiography novel, as I also tend to be A.D.D when it comes to these discussions. But I do need to be detailed as the correct course of action would still be gray. Thoughts about her: 1) 22: My wife is beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Seriously, she is. Thunder thighs, great body, flat stomach, wonderful sense of humor, her and I are like peas and peas (not peas and carrots) when we are around. Laugh, you know like best friends. (so mental and physically beautiful to me). Previous Relationships are, she said she was devoted, loving and caring. Thoughts about me: 2) 27: I consider myself a very attractive man. Big arms, big chest (not like olympia arms but socially acceptable physique. in fact when I go to shops and things, I always tend to "draw" other women around me. My confidence is up, and tend to be the "alpha" in conversations. Previous relationships for me is...well I deserve a plaque for being the "worlds greatest douche bag." cheated on all my girlfriends except a few, made alot of horrible mistakes. Well, I realized what I have been doing, learning alot about psychology, relationship books, everything... I got better, and now I'm a man that "every woman would want." I am turned around to opening door for her, pulling out her chair, have a solid education, good communication. 'The gentleman' if you will, I love her alot (gettin all teary lol) Past Sex: So now that we know how me and her are, we are like a perfect couple, right? Well, mine and her sex drive is down. I used to be a horn dog, always wanting more and more. Even my ex's said "you seriously have a medical problem". When her and I first met on the first 2 weeks, we were unstoppable, even I was like "whew this is actually beginning to be too much." But I was keeping up with it, because I did not want her to think I'm disinterested to her. I know she has multiple orgasms during a session (hahaha, therapeutic session), the bed shows with discharge hahaha. Trust: Now she used to send text to her ex's all the time. At first I was okay with this, because I talk to my ex's all the time too. So it was mutual, but I could not help but notice she was getting "too welcoming compliments" from her ex's. I confronted her about this and asked to see her phone after I saw secretly. Well she started deleting them in front of me! But anways, that was the past. Since that time, there has been no problems as far as I see. My trust for her is pretty good, but a little "meh" because she is in military away from me. So there is always that "what if?". But its tolerable. Now: Now its to the point where she is nude in front of me, and I'm like "why am i not charging?" I notice in beginning I said keywords, "whew this is actually beginning to be too much." I like and love to be desired. I usually have to initiate the sex, we both can literally go for a month if need be without sex. I find this disturbing. But its like I have flint but no spark. I yearn to be the couple that are deprived of food because we cannot leave the bedroom. But don't know what to do. Taking? Food? I took natural remedy's, yohimbe (fat burner and sexual stimulant) and horny goat weed. Food is basically no junk food.. at all, not even soda. We eat and drink to our health, non soy (soy is a estrogen product) and organic products (as best as any average consumer can muster). I am practically a non certified health nutrionist, helped many people lose weight including my wife (when we first met she weighed 200) now she is 150 but solid muscle. Unusual Habits? Work? Don't really watch porn, but since she is gone, I watch it every now and then, but nothing too much or excessive. Now I know that porn does degrade sexual intimacy in relationships. But my wife is beautiful, even more then the women in the shows, so it does not extinguish my thoughts about her. Work, I'm top in my team, stress is real bad though, work at sprint in cancellations dept. People have a ambulance 1 every 3 months due to people stressing from people screaming wanting a free phone. Stress does decrease sex drive yes. But she also has a low sex drive. and when Im off for 3 days per week, it should go back up right? Bad Habits? I always wondered if me cheating would cause me to be a sex fiend again. But I look for the basic emotions behind that reasoning. Desire and excitement hits me like a brick wall. Now it does turn me on, but remember its those base emotions I look for, not really for the cheating part. Same when a woman imagines a stranger having sex with her. Does not mean she will do it, just the base emotions drive it. She does not deny me (if she does its rare) if I make a advancement and vice versa. Conclusion: Desire and excitement seems to be the culprit in our relationship, its a lack there of. But from two more then willing participants to engage in frivolous physical activity. How can we both be desired by each other but cannot get a good start in it? We try and "get our feet wet" by doing random and 'exciting' encounters. But nothing really grows on us. Help. | |||
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Age 27: No Sex Drive, Request help
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