I wanted to join these forums to find people with similar experiences and to feel like I am not alone in this struggle.
My spouse avoids having sex with me. They say they do not have the same amount of desire as me and that orgasms are difficult. We try no more than twice a month. I have a lot of desire for my spouse and once sought to engage in sex often but felt more and more embarrassed by their growing annoyance for my pursuits.
To compensate, I masturbate at least once a day if not three times a day. My spouse finds masturbation disgusting and would criticize me if they knew I did it at all. Further my spouse will not voluntarily perform sexual acts on my behalf and when I do ask it is always elicited with, at best, a sigh and, at worst, a sharp refusal.
I respect my spouse's low desire but I am hurt that they do not care about my high desire.They say they find me attractive and they enjoy that I desire them so much but they do not see the problem from my perspective. It's come to the point now where I avoid becoming aroused by them, such as every time they undress I now look away or I avoid sleeping too close to them so as not evoke my desires.
I am living on an intimacy island. Every night I imagine ways to elicit arousal from my spouse, I plot out actions I could perform to make them eager for intimacy, but ultimately I know this would never happen. I end my struggle for intimacy by shadow boxing their familiar rejections and our time-tested arguments until I fall asleep having never spoken a word.
If there is anyone else out there who has found a way to get off this island, your advice is most welcome. I know I may not be able to convert their low desire to high desire, but is it possible for them to at least take an interest in my desires for my sake?
My spouse avoids having sex with me. They say they do not have the same amount of desire as me and that orgasms are difficult. We try no more than twice a month. I have a lot of desire for my spouse and once sought to engage in sex often but felt more and more embarrassed by their growing annoyance for my pursuits.
To compensate, I masturbate at least once a day if not three times a day. My spouse finds masturbation disgusting and would criticize me if they knew I did it at all. Further my spouse will not voluntarily perform sexual acts on my behalf and when I do ask it is always elicited with, at best, a sigh and, at worst, a sharp refusal.
I respect my spouse's low desire but I am hurt that they do not care about my high desire.They say they find me attractive and they enjoy that I desire them so much but they do not see the problem from my perspective. It's come to the point now where I avoid becoming aroused by them, such as every time they undress I now look away or I avoid sleeping too close to them so as not evoke my desires.
I am living on an intimacy island. Every night I imagine ways to elicit arousal from my spouse, I plot out actions I could perform to make them eager for intimacy, but ultimately I know this would never happen. I end my struggle for intimacy by shadow boxing their familiar rejections and our time-tested arguments until I fall asleep having never spoken a word.
If there is anyone else out there who has found a way to get off this island, your advice is most welcome. I know I may not be able to convert their low desire to high desire, but is it possible for them to at least take an interest in my desires for my sake?
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