Custody and the child's well being

So my husband and I just split. He is looking for his own place but currently doesn't live somewhere that he can take our son. I know he will eventually have a place of his own and want to set up some sort of custody arrangement. I have been a stay at home mom since our son was born and he is now 2.5 years old.

My question is what kind of custody arrangements have you made with your young children, and how did it affect them?
I have read about the 2-2-3 schedule and stbxh has suggested a 3-4 schedule with alternating the 4. I am really trying to think of what is best for our son and don't want my current emotions to play a role in how we chose custody.

My parents were divorced before I was two and their arrangement was alternate weekends. While this is what I knew and was thinking it would be (just from my experiences), I want what is best for my son. I want him to have a healthy relationship with his father, but as you can imagine the stay at home mom in me doesn't want to not have him for days at a time.

Please tell me some of your positive and negative experiences with custody arrangements. And how they seemed to affect your children.
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Advice on steps after first date!!

Been on a few dates in past couple weeks, no real connections, BUT i went on a date last night, and this one was different!!! She was super cute and really down to earth!! It was like i went on a date with myself, her personality i just like mine,lol!! We went out to Stone Brewery and really had a good time..This is the first date where i was actually nervous most of the night!! dunno if it was cuz she was really pretty or that i just seemed to like her more than the other dates!! Anyways we had fun and i dropped her off at her house and gave her a big hug and said we should hang out again soon, she looked at me and said really are u serious!?! I said uh, yes!! and she gave me another hug and said cool give me a text or call me and lets set something up!! Its was like she didnt think i wanted to see her again or maybe she has had some bad dates,dunno.. SO i texted her later and said i had a really nice time with her etc.. and she texted and said same thi ng and said she is looking forward to seeing me again soon..(first date ever that said that, was kinda cool ) SO i texted and we set up a date for this next week to the comedy club, she said she never went and was excited!!! ok enough rambling,lol my question is it what are the rules as far as dates, once a week or what?? and is it normal to text her every couple days to chit chat and see what shes up to?? ive dated a couple other girls and they didnt respond that much and think i kinda screwed it up,lol with this girl i dont wanna do that... thanks for your comments :)

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Insecure by b@ttom?

Tonight we had a good time, he stood behind me. My skirt was around my waist but then my bf pulled it down, covering my bum.
This suddenly made me so insecure, I feld like he didn't like to see it and I got turned of at once and stopped it all.

His explanation is he liked to see me with the skirt on and it was kinky with clothes on. We do it a lot partially clothed, so I don't see the kinky in that. He just though the skirt was coming of soon, so wanted to see it that way.
I have trouble accepting this and feel humiliated, I mean, normally a guy would love to see @ss???

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How do you react when you see someone you've previously had a one night stand with?

• Thread Starter

How do you react when you see someone you've previously had a one night stand with?

• 8 hours ago 8h ago

I'm just wondering how you react or how you find that they react when you bump into someone you had a one night stand with?

For me I have only had a couple of one night stands but the reactions are totally different. One guy I've seen again on a couple of nights out and I know he notices me but he just totally ignores me in a really awkward way like he seems so shy but I can't remember him being like that. It's so weird, you would think he could at least smile! The other guy is the total opposite. He smiles and asks me how I am without trying to get with me again or anything like that. I personally think it's nice just to at least smile and acknowledge the other person exists.

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Asking husband out on a Father's day outing with family...

I am not sure where to post this, but I thought here among the men of TAM would be a good place to start. Our current situation is that my husband and I have been separated for a little over 18 months. During that time we have tried to peel back all of the layers of the problems that has led to our current situation. One of the things my husband has wanted is quality family time doing things outside of the house. I agreed that I would make some serious effort to change this.

Now here's the tricky part....some times husband is really into being a family with daughter and I. Other times he's distance and could care less (or so that's my perception at times.) And right now seems to be one of those times when I can't tell one way or another what he is thinking.

With Father's Day coming up, I want to try and accomplish two things. One, celebrate him on Father's Day for the wonderful father that he is to our daughter and two, celebrate it doing things my husband loves to do. So, how do I pull this off?

I tried to mention the ideas when we had lunch this past week. He was preoccupied with his work so he really didn't seem too interested in what I was saying.

I would much rather ask him in person, but I won't have any more face time with him for a few days unless he agrees and i see him on Father's Day. I will only have access to him via email and text between now and Father's Day. I need to do something quick as I don't have a lot of time left and I want to make sure there is time enough to be able to pull this off.

I am scared out of my mind in fear of rejection. I want to ask him in a way that he will say yes but at the same time I don't want to seem like I am begging or that I am needy.

Any advice here guys?

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girls, is this the most aesthetic man you have ever seen?

• Thread Starter

girls, is this the most aesthetic man you have ever seen?

• 8 hours ago 8h ago

n-n-no homo

http://ift.tt/1iwO2Vw

http://ift.tt/1iwO1B0

http://ift.tt/1qeTcNE

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Why different races feel different about women's proportion ?

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Why different races feel different about women's proportion ?

• 8 hours ago 8h ago

Why do black guys, latinos, arabs etc like girls that are not thin but rather curvy (almost chubby) with quite some meat like big thighs, ass etc ?

Wherelse in western countries the standards of beauty are such that people are more inclined to like thin and svelte girls?

Any opinion or factual studies about this ?

Your thoughts?

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Is it just me? A trigger question.

I wonder if anyone else experiences what I have deemed A TRIGGER HANGOVER.

After I have experienced a trigger, which for me can last for hours or sometimes a whole day (once it was three) because I am not easily distracted, I go to bed and sleep through out the night but wake up the next day feeling like I have had far to much to drink.
My head hurts, my body aches, and I have no energy for anything. Is this just something that happens to me or does anyone else have the trigger hangover happen to them too? If so is there anything that helps stop this or prevent it from happening? I know that preventing the trigger is one way but that is not always going to happen.
I just want this part to stop. I want to wake up and feel alive rather then feel like crud and have a day wasted on just struggling through the hangover feeling and barely getting by.

In advance I will thank you for your replies.

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Is it fair to ask a cheating spouse to leave?

I've never been to CWI before, though I've been on TAM for more than a year. I'm venturing here for some advice on how to help my sister, whose husband is cheating on her.

I've been struggling with how to advise her. They have been married for 25 years and have three kids ages 19, 18 and 17--two in college, one in high school.

It started a month or two ago, when he came to her and said he couldn't accept that his children had rejected Christianity. He belongs to a very fundamentalist church that preaches against science, evolution, homosexuality and equal standing for women. My sister does not share his faith, and his children, although raised as church goers, have rejected its tenants as well and hold the typically more liberal social outlooks of their peers.

He told my sister that this might be a deal breaker for him, that he blames her for their faithlessness, that he had failed to bring his household to heel and that his children's rejection of his faith is a great tragedy to him. That is children are not fundamentalist Christians is not new news--they are vocal about their political and religious leanings. My BIL, on the other hand, has become increasingly radical and intolerant in his conservative beliefs. Some of the things he has posted on FB have been outright offensive, and when his children reply with comments, he tells them they must delete their comments because it's HIS FB page. He also expects them not to post things he finds offensive to his faith on their own FB pages.

His children are wonderful people--and he has been a wonderful father to them. He and my sister always stressed education to them, and they have inquisitive minds. Two of them skipped a grade in middle school, one of them began college at age 16. They love their father very much, are respectful of him and his faith, but do not hide the fact that they do not share it.

Then the trickle truth started. Yes, there was someone else, but no it wasn't an affair. Okay, it's an emotional affair, but not sexual and she's not married. I told her to be braced for more, and yesterday she overcame her timidity and checked his texts. They are flirtatious and sexually suggestive. There are references to e-mailed photographs. The OW has children, and my sister did some checking and there is a man living at her address with the same last name--presumably a husband.

My brother in law says he will consider marriage counseling, but that he no longer feels the same way about my sister. He also said he won't end the affair and has talked about marrying the other woman.

I am in over my head for giving advice here, but my sister refuses to set any boundaries because she fears it will hurt the chances that her husband will eventually "burn through" the affair and come to his senses. I told her that he has made his choice, and that she should ask him to move out until he is ready to commit to working on the marriage with her--including ending his affair. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, and she is willing to stand in the wings and wait for him to choose between her and the OW.

Am I pushing her too hard? She is devastated, and won't take care of herself. Not eating, not sleeping, and blaming herself for not being a better wife. She wants very much to stay married. She persuaded him to go to one MC session, but that was before he admitted to the affair.

She is paralyzed and can only think about the fact that she loves him, and that they had so many good years together. She is also concerned about finances if she asks him to move out until he is willing to end his affair.

I wish I could give her hope, but . . .

Thoughts? Should she kick him out? She did ask him to stay away on the night she first found out about the OW, and said that he seemed genuinely shocked. I don't think he expects her to put her foot down. Will it help or hurt her chances of reconciliation to set some boundaries?

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should I divorce my pregnant wife for kissing another woman

I caught my wife kissing another woman. we already have 2 twin girls together who are 5 years old. we also have another baby on the way and she is 4 months pregnant. Should I divorce her for cheating on me? I mean if we do get a divorce I will probably end up with custody of the kids and she will end up being homeless since she doesn't have a job or educational skills or family to go to, also we got a pre-nup before we got married. also how much can I get the court to pay me child support considering the fact she will end up working in a minimum wage job and be living in subsidized housing?

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2 years and I still haven't made a move

• Thread Starter

2 years and I still haven't made a move

• 57 minutes ago 57m ago

I like this guy. My friends told him and I just laughed it off. We aren't really friends, he only hangs out with his guys. We always have awks eye contact. The day after skl finished, he decided to add me on fb and find me on insta lol.. Weird. I've had a crush on him for 2 years now, we are both going our separate ways after college.. I just want to at least have a convo with him

I could start talking to him and potentially develop feelings but then we will have to go our separate ways after a few weeks. Or I can get over it, move on and meet new people over the summer.

My question is what do I do?





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Found webcam masturbation video of my ex online - should I tell her?

• Thread Starter

Found webcam masturbation video of my ex online - should I tell her?

• 1 Hour Ago 1 hour ago

Made this thread on reddit a few weeks ago - currently think it's best to not tell her but would love to hear TSR opinions too.

Full Story here; http://ift.tt/1qgkmDJ

Cliffs:
- Found a video online of my ex gf masturbating on a webcam video. It appears to have been recorded by the guy she dated before me
- I still care about her but we've both moved on to other relationships and she's currently engaged
- It's on 10+ websites and has been on them for a while without a crazy amount of views
- I don't know if she knows this video is online
- Should I tell her, or just let it go and hope it doesn't come back to bite her in the ass someday?

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Virginity dilemma?

• Thread Starter

Virginity dilemma?

• 1 Hour Ago 1 hour ago

I'm your average 19 year old girl, currently finishing A levels (did an extra year) and so going off to university in september - before anyone jumps to conclusions that is not my main reasoning! my friends are very varied in whether or not they've lost their virginity & nobody has ever made me feel bad about it, they're cool with it & some see it as a good thing, they encourage me to keep it until i "meet the right guy and fall in love" etc etc. For a long time, probably until I hit about 18 I was absolutely terrified of losing my virginity, I wasn't ready & I didn't have a lot of self confidence (I was bullied a lot over things like my appearance). Over the past few years my self confidence has blossomed - no bullying - and my current circles of friends are fantastic, hugely supportive over everything & my best friend is exactly the type of person I can be open with and ask questions about her sexual experiences etc, so it's not like I'm being totally naive.

For quite a while, I've been ready to lose my virginity. I've had a fair few offers but I've always declined because they just weren't the type of person I wanted to sleep with, if it's someone I know then I want it to be meaningful, not an awkward quickie that will mean we never look at each other again. Last year I went to kavos & became very close to losing it, I met a really really nice guy & stuff happened but I told him that at that point I didn't want to lose my virginity, which he was really cool with. I'm now not so precious about it, I'm ready to lose it & I'm wondering whether, if the opportunity arose, I should lose it when I go on holiday this year to Malia, - just to be clear I'm not planning this like I'll select some guy to sleep with, purely if I met a nice guy, which despite the stereotypes isn't actually too difficult. - it's not like I'm desperate to lose it, but it's a label that I feel has too much stigma attached and that I don't feel should play a huge deal in whether or not I lose it, and I'm just at the point in my life where I'm ready, I had a boyfriend a few months ago and genuinely thought I'd lose it to him but was kinda disappointed when he didn't seem to into it..

Now I know some people will go for the "lose it to someone special" approach, but to be honest, I don't feel like that's a huge deal and I don't think I'd regret it, fair enough to some people if thats their situation but it's just not mine.. I kinda wish I had slept with the guy on holiday last year because nobody else has ever made me feel so comfortable being in such an intimate setting, and to me personally that tells me I'm ready..

I just really want a general overview of peoples opinions, and if you got together with somebody who told you they'd lost their virginity on holiday - "girls holiday" or otherwise, would that change your opinion on them? & why? sorry for such a long post!

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best girl buddy came on to me

• Thread Starter

best girl buddy came on to me

• 2 hours ago 2h ago

I am good friends with a girl who I've known for about a year, she often invites me over to hers we drink, chat about things the normal. I get a lot of female attention when I go out with this, she seems fine with and sometimes is my wing man woman chatting up girls for me.

She recently moved out of the accommodation block as we lived in the same building, moving into her own flat. she asked me to help her move in mainly just helping with the heavy stuff, her other friends and mum helped as well.

Her mum and friends left leaving me and her, she thanked over and over. It was also quite hot so she had her t-shirt rolled up. I commented on it just being silly and she kissed on the lips. I backed off as I felt strange as just a friend.

She told me that I am the only man who talks her without being sexual but I said I don't want to because I don't want to lose a good friend if it goes bad. but she is great girl who is very loyal to me so its playing on my mind.

Should I say yes or no?

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Am I the only guy who wonders why women don't make first moves

• Thread Starter

Am I the only guy who wonders why women don't make first moves

• 2 hours ago 2h ago

If a guy was in a group of thousands of women, he won't get approached by any of them but if a woman was in a group of thousands of men, they don't even need to know she's single before they make their approach.
It's as if a lot of women are waiting to be single in their middle ages before they make their first move on a man.
I wondered about this because for a guy, who's having rejection problems, I've always wondered how those girls would feel if they got turned down they way they turn me down, say they meet a guy, ask him for his number, send him messages that never get replied, etc. A friend of mine said rather than catching them, I should "be the catch", so far it's hardly worked.
I would appreciate it if I had a girl make a first move on me, since most of the girls I approach apparently believe that my first impressions are crap, I would like to see any woman's first impression for me for one.

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Do native american girls like estonian men?

• Thread Starter

Do native american girls like estonian men?

• 2 hours ago 2h ago

Can you give me a concrete answer for the group as a whole?

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Going to club/parties

• Thread Starter

Going to club/parties

• 22 hours ago 22h ago

Hi,

Backdrop: 2nd yr of Uni just finished.

So I've been to a real club once and I hated it(pre-Uni). I don't drink (not really due to religion but instead a lack of control) and it just doesn't feel like a fun time.
At Uni, anyone and everyone seems to love getting drunk out their minds and partying and this just seems odd and not enjoyable to me.
I get invited to clubs/parties and societies are always putting stuff on but I just don't attend any.
It seems quite a lot of people at Uni meet people this way so it's a bit of a bummer.
I'm not shy at all and while an introvert, still like to meet and talk to new people.

I guess this all reads like a story rather then a question but does anyone have any of their own stories or advice that would be helpful around the topic?

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Virgin before uni, Virgin after uni

• Thread Starter

Virgin before uni, Virgin after uni

• 11 hours ago 11h ago

22, m.

So had my last night at uni after four years and never even got laid although I have kissed girls. I'm quite depressed about this fact because I know most of my guy friends had sex at least 10 times all round. Uni is a place where 18-21 year olds are in one place with countless opportunities hanging in the air and I never really grabbed those opportunities. Now I'm moving back home with my parents and it's going to be a lot harder meeting girls. And no, I'm not goin to pay for a prostitute.

Dont know what I'm really asking here. Just letting this all out I guess, maybe advice, words of encouragement . I'm so bloody depressed about this. I feel like a loser

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