Hi everyone,
My husband and I reconciled after 11 months of separation. I gave him papers to sign to finalize our divorce, and he said he didn't want to lose me and our daughter. We talked about many of our issues, came to some new "ground rules" and are living together now.
Why we separated: I lived with my husband and his family for 3 years in the same house. Obviously many, many problems due to the living arrangement. Husband always picked his family's side over me, resulting in a lot of verbal/emotional abuse from all of them. So I left and didn't look back. Still loved my husband and when he asked me to come back, I told him we'd only be together if we lived alone...never again with his family.
Anyway...it's 3 weeks in to our reconciliation. He's on his best behaviour, treats me and our daughter VERY respectfully and with a lot of love. When we have issues, we talk through them calmly and come to a resolution. This is new...he always used to explode and get angry. It will take a lot of time to see if this new method of conflict-resolution in our marriage lasts.
The problem is, I have some sort of post-traumatic stress from the time of living with his family. I re-live hurtful scenarios in my head. They were inconsiderate and disrespectful and I don't want to ever see them again...but I know that they are the other half of my daughter's family and it's only a matter of time before I do. How do I get past the hurt and hate that I feel? They will never apologize, nor will they admit that they did anything wrong. I need to find a way to be happy and peaceful and healthy and I can't do that if I'm constantly thinking about how they mistreated me. They shaped who I am today and I don't like myself.
My husband and I reconciled after 11 months of separation. I gave him papers to sign to finalize our divorce, and he said he didn't want to lose me and our daughter. We talked about many of our issues, came to some new "ground rules" and are living together now.
Why we separated: I lived with my husband and his family for 3 years in the same house. Obviously many, many problems due to the living arrangement. Husband always picked his family's side over me, resulting in a lot of verbal/emotional abuse from all of them. So I left and didn't look back. Still loved my husband and when he asked me to come back, I told him we'd only be together if we lived alone...never again with his family.
Anyway...it's 3 weeks in to our reconciliation. He's on his best behaviour, treats me and our daughter VERY respectfully and with a lot of love. When we have issues, we talk through them calmly and come to a resolution. This is new...he always used to explode and get angry. It will take a lot of time to see if this new method of conflict-resolution in our marriage lasts.
The problem is, I have some sort of post-traumatic stress from the time of living with his family. I re-live hurtful scenarios in my head. They were inconsiderate and disrespectful and I don't want to ever see them again...but I know that they are the other half of my daughter's family and it's only a matter of time before I do. How do I get past the hurt and hate that I feel? They will never apologize, nor will they admit that they did anything wrong. I need to find a way to be happy and peaceful and healthy and I can't do that if I'm constantly thinking about how they mistreated me. They shaped who I am today and I don't like myself.
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