Or is it an excuse?
I genuinely wonder how often it happens that an LD man or woman finds themselves alone at some point in their lives (post divorce for example), and it hits them "Oh. Crap. That's all I had to do." Yet when they're married, they take it for granted that somebody wants them more than once or twice a month, and they focus so much on their spouse being the one with the "problem".
I genuinely wonder why sex (ESPECIALLY in marriage) is so complicated for so many people.
I genuinely wonder at what point in human history sex turned from being as basic and simple as eating and sleeping to what it is now?
I understand the laws of attraction, and if you aren't attracted to somebody, you won't want to have sex with them.
So is that what LD really is? You've either lost attraction for your mate, or you're not fully capable of being attracted to anybody?
Am I the only one who finds the labels "LD and HD" to be thrown around a lot here at TAM? That maybe it's time to not use those terms every single time one person wants less sex than their partner? It almost excuses the fact that two people have ended up like that. "Oh, well (s)he's LD, so we can work on it."
I'm coming from the angle that there are two types of people when it comes to sex. Those that need it, and those that want it. When you get the two types together, you have a higher probability of things going south at some point.
Those that need it: "HD". Those that want it: "LD".
The people who need it tend to be less discriminatory, and I don't mean they'll sleep with anybody. I mean they'll sleep with their husband or wife even if they're not highly attracted to them, or at all. Or only in one way. Maybe they're angry at them, or resentful about something, but they still need sex, and they'll still go to their spouse for sex.
The people that want it are the opposite. If the attraction isn't there, then no deal. Or the time has to be right. One thing is "off", and it isn't happening. But if everything is "on", then it's a "want", and it'll happen.
Mental or physical issues aside, I genuinely believe everybody falls into one category or the other, and they're being mis-labelled as either HD or LD. I suppose you could have some category overlap, but I think everybody at least sways in favor of one or the other.
Thoughts?
I genuinely wonder how often it happens that an LD man or woman finds themselves alone at some point in their lives (post divorce for example), and it hits them "Oh. Crap. That's all I had to do." Yet when they're married, they take it for granted that somebody wants them more than once or twice a month, and they focus so much on their spouse being the one with the "problem".
I genuinely wonder why sex (ESPECIALLY in marriage) is so complicated for so many people.
I genuinely wonder at what point in human history sex turned from being as basic and simple as eating and sleeping to what it is now?
I understand the laws of attraction, and if you aren't attracted to somebody, you won't want to have sex with them.
So is that what LD really is? You've either lost attraction for your mate, or you're not fully capable of being attracted to anybody?
Am I the only one who finds the labels "LD and HD" to be thrown around a lot here at TAM? That maybe it's time to not use those terms every single time one person wants less sex than their partner? It almost excuses the fact that two people have ended up like that. "Oh, well (s)he's LD, so we can work on it."
I'm coming from the angle that there are two types of people when it comes to sex. Those that need it, and those that want it. When you get the two types together, you have a higher probability of things going south at some point.
Those that need it: "HD". Those that want it: "LD".
The people who need it tend to be less discriminatory, and I don't mean they'll sleep with anybody. I mean they'll sleep with their husband or wife even if they're not highly attracted to them, or at all. Or only in one way. Maybe they're angry at them, or resentful about something, but they still need sex, and they'll still go to their spouse for sex.
The people that want it are the opposite. If the attraction isn't there, then no deal. Or the time has to be right. One thing is "off", and it isn't happening. But if everything is "on", then it's a "want", and it'll happen.
Mental or physical issues aside, I genuinely believe everybody falls into one category or the other, and they're being mis-labelled as either HD or LD. I suppose you could have some category overlap, but I think everybody at least sways in favor of one or the other.
Thoughts?
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