Trickle Truth

It has been a minute! I'm sorry, but I got depressed continually reading the accounts of others experiencing...cheating. I had to leave for a while. And now I'm returning because my coping skills are lacking.
I waited a year after I discovered my WH's PA to call the OW. He said he did not have sex...well, he did. I guess I knew, somewhere in my gut, two adults in a hotel room getting frisky does not stop at kissing. I called her, the OW, after a year because I figured she would have had enough time to "think." She apparently thought and thought and thought over that year and I think she was sincere when she apologized, which I didn't ask for. I just called, told her who I was and she started blabbing through tears. But, she did not know I was "oblivious" to them having sex.
I am not really mad about the reason my WH lied about the sex, I am just mad at myself.
I am going to trust my instincts about things that feel or sound wrong with my husband. I've always been right in the past.
This is my second marriage. I have a two year old daughter and a step-son that is 11. I don't want to divorce, but I don't want to feel like I have to investigate my husband's life to find out the truth. He knows I constantly am seeking the truth. For heaven's sake, it's my work!
I no longer know if I'm allowing someone to walk all over me, or if I'm holding on to something that will be amazing. I'm really tired of just not knowing what to do.

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Should we make a sextape?

My wife is really into the idea. I am concerned about it falling into the wrong hands and our identities being exposed. What say you?

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Ugh...

I'm watching the documentary, "Vegucated" and I am horrified.:(

That is all.

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Dauhgter gets sweaty mom blows a gasket.

This is bugging me to no end.

My wife wants me to play with our daughter which I am happy to do but the second she thinks she is getting the least bit sweaty ol mom pulls the plug on the whole thing. :mad:

I wouldn't mind it so much but then she keeps the poor kid dressed in three layers of clothes even though I have the house at 72. On top of that most evenings she keeps the radiant heater in the living room on pushing it to near 80 where me and the poor kid are already at borderline sweating without even moving.

I mean I know my wife has a general dislike for physical exercise and does her best to avoid serious level of it and makes a big stink if she so much as begins to perspire but I find it rather unfair to come down on me and our daughter for playing actively enough to begin to mildly perspire. :(

BTW personally I don't consider it true sweating until actual dampness can be seen on clothing and it's not a good workout until I am darn near soaked head to toe! ;)

What's up with that?

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What's your favorite firearm?

Rifles: bolt action, Savage Model 12
Love the stainless steel heavy fluted barrel.

Pistol: Colt Single Action. Why? It's the child in me :-)
Posted via Mobile Device

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Wrong for your child to hear you having sex

A while ago I started a similar thread about this subject because it was referenced somewhat is a previous thread. While my wife and I don't have kids yet, we have friends who have them. So my wife's friend often jokes about having "quiet sex." For us right now it is a non issue :D

She told my wife that her 11 year old once heard them having sex. Of course she had the "talk" with her daughter prior to this happening so she wasn't too bothered by it because she knew her parents had sex often. My wife's friend really doesn't try to make sex a taboo subject in her house and that she is very open with her daughter about it. Her daughter knows that it's something a married couple share...at least that's how my wife's friend explained it to her.

Do the parents out there hide sex from your kids? Another words, do you treat it as something taboo? Obviously it depends on how old they are but do they know you and your spouse have a healthy sex life? Also, did your kids ever hear a moan coming from the bedroom? How did you handle the situation? Dare I ask...ever been caught?!

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My wife wants a break, please help!

I am expecting pretty huge criticism about the state of my marriage. We eloped last year. We continued to live with our respective parents and have been looking for an apartment. She got a job just a few months ago and now I finally got hired for a very good paying job just this past week. I start in march. Anyway, she expressed a few times that I didn't treat her like I used to when we first started dating. I acknowledged what she was saying but apparently I did not make the changes she wanted because now she is asking for a "break".

So last Tuesday was her birthday. We talked on the phone prior and I THOUGHT that we had agreed that our schedules would conflict on that day. (her birth day). She had to drop people off at night shift work and babysit her brothers. I was busy during the day. So instead I spent time with her Monday the day before her birthday. Well I wished her happy birthday multiple times, got breakfast with her, and had sex with her (per her request) that day. The day after, I, in all honesty, forgot to wish her a happy birthday first thing in the morning. I waited until I was finished with my business to call and by that point, she was too far gone and did not even answer.

She did not contact me until the next day and we argued and fought about me ignoring her on her birthday for the whole day. I got defensive because I thought that everything I had done on Monday had made up for Tuesday and I thought that she already knew we wouldn't see each other Tuesday. As it turns out, she told me that what she was actually trying to tell me was that we could not go out on a date or do anything too special on Tuesday. That did NOT mean she did not want to see me or spend time with me! This was a huge misunderstanding on my part and also pretty negligent. Not only did I forget about her for half the day, I did not go to see her. All I did was leave a happy birthday voice-mail at 8pm.

I realize now how arrogant I was and especially to argue over it and defend myself so much when she confronted me.

Well eventually she told me she needs a break. She sent me a text later asking if I wanted my ring back. Then she asked what would happen if she wanted a divorce now. I told her I'd be so incredibly upset that I hurt her so bad. Eventually she realized that I had a misunderstanding and that I thought she told me we could not see one another on her birthday but she still said she thinks we should go on a break then see a couples therapist after the break.

At the very least it seems like she does not want to leave me and wants to work things out.



I agree that this whole living apart thing is not working out for us. We desperately need to find some arrangement where we can live together and I think this is half or 90% of the problem. The other part is that I stopped treating my wife like a rose. I stopped doing the nice things I used to do for her and used the excuse of not having money and what not. So at least I realize my fault. I also got defensive with her about the little things.



What is your advice about this "break". I don't want to loose her in this time. I don't want her to get further distanced from me if I get too pushy and start doing things for her. If I do that she'll think I am only acting because of how upset she is and it wont be genuine.

..but if I give her 100% space I'm afraid of loosing her.


What can I do here in this time? I feel like I screwed up big time and I'm finally realizing how bad I hurt her and how terrible she is feeling.

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Female friend from uni hinting she wants to spend the weekend at mine

Me and a friend from uni flirt all the time, we did it at uni as well, but I realised that she wasn't really into me as she's had boyfriends around the same time and so I quickly got over her, but we still stayed friends.

It's been like 8 months or so since we've seen each other (as we've graduated and got jobs) but have carried on talking. While we've been talking, I've asked her "so, when are you coming to see me" and we carried on talking and now she's just said she'll come on a certain date.

I know she has a boyfriend when I last spoke to her in January and so we spoke about what we'll do when she comes and I asked her if he will be there and she said no and so we carried on talking and I said how it'll be a nice date, etc and it was a nice chat.

Then, she goes to me "so where will I be staying?" and I ignored that as that's clearly a hint at her staying at mine. I ignored it and a little while later I told her that I don't live in London but just outside in Essex and she said "thats fine, we can still go into London", meaning more that she will be staying at mine.

I don't want her to stay at mine for two reasons:

1) I don't want to be friendzoned that badly. I'll look like such an idiot if she stays at mine and nothing happens between us.

2) I still haven't slept with anyone. as I don't think I'd like it if my wife slept with people so I won't do that to her and so I wouldn't want to sleep with her (even though she is pretty hot) for this very reason. So if she did stay at mine, it'd be really awkward and if we got drunk I'd be really bad and just embarrass myself.

What should I do? We're going to chat again tomorrow and so I'll ask why she won't stay at her boyfriends but if she does stay with me, then what?

I don't care what people say, I can't have a female friend stay round, potentially sleep in my bed, and absolutely zero happens between us. I am not going to be that guy who gets horrifically friend zoned like that. What do you guys think I should do?

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what should i do? please give me some piece of advice

Hi everyone! I am 30 and i have been married for 5 years, together for 8. We have a 3 yo boy. I have some many issues in my marriage that i don't know how to start. We are fighting a lot. We fight about money, about our son, about almost everything. We are both working full-time, but money is never enough because he gambles. He doesn' t want to be told he needs to stop. He has loaned money from the bank, from his parents. I can't afford to buy clothes for myself. We are struggling from month to month.
He does not help around the house. I have to do it all. I even heat his every meal. I clean, i wash the dishes, i take out the garbage, i go to buy food. At the end of the day i cannot wait to go to sleep and finally get some rest.
He does not initiate intimacy. I have to the one who goes to him and ask him to make love to me. If 2 days have passed and i don't go to him he gets angry, pick up fights...He wants oral. It has become a habit for him to refuse sex in favour a bj.
He doesn not show me any sign of affection, zero.
When i try to discuss one of these issues with him he calls me names, spitts on me, pushes me. Once he left me with a swollen lip and some buises on my arm. That is the worse damage which he never considered abuse. He often tells me to get out of his house( actually it is his parents house). He has forced me to get out a couple of times together with our son. He used to call me back in tears. Now he doesn't bother telling me he is sorry. What hurts the most is that he isn't sorry. He acts as if he is doing me a favour by staying married to him. I am a bad wife, a bad mother, i do nothing wright..at least that is what he tells me almost every day. I suspected cheating, but i did not find any proof. He comes home from work, he never gets out because he doesn't have any friends.
I am lost, torn and don't know what to do. I feel like a doormat. Please, can you give some piece of advice? He seems not to love me anymore or he just wants me to obey, to have under his thumb.

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As a sole bread winner and parent of young children...

How much do you do around the house / did you do around the house when you were the parent of a young child / young children and a sole bread winner?

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Situation with my ex gf… advice needed please!

My ex and I were going out for about 3 months (we met at uni last october) and then suddenly she texted me back in January that she was too scared of the commitment and didn't want to be in a relationship. She has had 5 relationships before me so it's not that she doesn't know what it's like to be in one.. but anyway she said she still wants a friendship and I somewhat compromised with that even though I was heartbroken because I genuinely loved this girl a lot. After the breakup she still used to see me nearly everyday around uni and we would still say hi and have a chat.. but then after a point she started to ignore me a little bit and I felt that I was just pushing things and should let it relax. Sometimes she intentionally would come and sit around me in lectures and then do flirty things with my friends (highly surprised me!) just to catch my attention and possibly make me feel jealous. I thought I should ignore after all she's not my gf anymore and all that…

We are on a one week holiday right now and on the last day of term I texted her once asking how a test that we both had went and I didn't get a very engaging response as I used to before. I felt it was time for me to stop texting her and let her be.. a few days ago she contacted me asking how everything was which again surprised me because she was avoiding me like a week ago. I sent a shortish reply and that was it but it still makes me wonder what is it that she wants?! If she wanted to maintain a friendship with me why would she behave like this at all.. and if she didn't want to why bother contacting me asking how things are?

When we broke up we had a chat a week after and being the fool I am I said to her very honestly that I miss her loads and realise how important she is for me (even though there's no reason why I should put myself in that position, after all I have done nothing wrong) but anyway she is aware of all this and she is possibly trying to manipulate me. I don't understand how to respond to her and how to keep things between us! Does this kind of behaviour mean she wants me back? She seems to go through these mood swings where she either wants to talk to me or completely ignore me which really confuses me. Some days after the breakup she would text me saying 'shall we walk to the station together after class tomorrow?' and some days she ignores me if I am right next to her. I am really trying to get over the last few months but I really had (and still have to some degree) a lot of feelings for this girl and don't want it all to end like this. Really have no idea how to handle the situation.

Thanks a lot for reading and any advice will be appreciated.

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FWB said she loved me. Confused beyond measure.

So here's the situation, the girl I've been seeing casually for the last 5 or so months said she thought she was falling in love with me today when we went out for drinks. I told her I care about her but I needed some time to process this and that we'd meet tomorrow and talk things out in detail.

Here's the issue - I like her, I really do. She's everything I've ever wanted in a girl but in 2 months time, I'll be on a Eurotrip and then go back home before starting uni in London. She'll still be in New York (she's on a year out, so am I and she'll be studying in the U.S). Plus, about 8 months back, my ex cheated on me out of nowhere after 3.5 years of a very happy relationship so to say I have trust issues would be an understatement - I'm definitely over her and have moved on, but the trust bit is something I'm a bit weary of.

I want to take a leap of faith and see where it goes with this girl, but it'll be long distance within 2 months and I don't know if either of us will have the time to visit each other/see each other often at all.

So now the issue is what do I tell her? Do I tell her that I like her too, and we continue with the FWB thing we have going or stop that, or do I get into a relationship and see where it goes (I want to, but I think its very impractical and am leaning away from this option).

****. Why does life have to be so complicated. Anyone here been in a similar situation by any chance? Any opinions/advice would be appreciated.
Anon as I know a few people on here.

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Is he actually interested? xxx

Hey all,

I would appreciate your thoughts on this. So I went to a flat viewing back in January and it was the current tenant who showed me around the flat. I ended up there for about 2 hours just chatting to him.. he was nice, I then left but we obviously had each others numbers from organising the viewing

He text me quite abit after that - then asked if I wanted to meet up. I said I would like to but couldn't as I had a boyfriend. A little after that, I broke up with my bf (lots of problems plus long distance etc). I was still in contact with the guy from the flat... he would just text me most days asking how my day was etc and he would always be very quick to reply and seemed interested. He asked how things were with my bf and I obviously had to say that I'd broken up. He was nice about it, said he would like to see me etc..I said I would like to as well but needed some time. He was fine with that and was like take the time you need etc

Anyways we were supposed to meet up last week. The day before, he text me to say he had to go to hospital as hed had an accident at work (he is a barman). I asked if he still wanted to meet up and said the way he was feeling he wouldn't be able to. Anyways I text him the evening we were supposed to meet up but didn't hear anything back. The next day (fri) he text to say that he had speant most of the evening in bed and was feeling bored being stuck at home, and wishes he could have speant time with me. I said I could call him after work before I went away for the weekend and he was yes sure, would be nice to hear your voice. I called him, no answer. He text me shortly after saying if he was out with his dad and if he could call me in an hour so I said thats fine but would probably be on a train. Did not receive any calls or txts back yet. Am I just being weird? Or is he messing with me?

He is very complimentary in his texts, texts me everyday (although less frequently atm) and kept saying beforehand that he was really looking forward to seeing me/ getting to know me better etc.

I worry that he is of the quite flirty type, but we did get on really well so I would like to see him. I just dont want to waste my time if he is going to mess me around

THANK YOUUU and apologies for the long post

xxxxxx

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(srs) Never had a girlfriend and turning 19 next week

Turning 19 next week, suffered from bad PTSD when I was 13 from a traumatising event which made me very introverted(even though at heart I know I'm an extrovert) for sometime and I never left my house because I was too scared for several years until high school ended. Also, all my best friends moved to different counties or carried on with their lives going to uni and don't speak to me anymore.

TFW:
Doing some extra time at sixth form with people I never met before.
Took an effort to improve my dress sense(dramatically might I say, now I'm actually quite into fashion since last year) started looking after my skin and hair, I workout and do a lot of activities don't really play video games much(Only League of Legends with some old friends I never see much anymore).

I've started to become more social in the classroom people say I'm funny etc. I also made one of the most popular girls in the sixth form(Didn't know at the time) blush by calling her pretty in front of my entire class on my first lesson with her when I sat next to her.

Sometimes I notice girls looking at me and smiling(probably out of pity) but they never say anything to me.

Fk it, must be because I'm an ugly ginger ****
help me studentroom brah's on this lonely saturday afternoon and evening and now I'm going to be lonely for half-term without school.(don't say w@nk please)

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Feeling completely betrayed and hurt?

I've known this girl for several years now and she's one of my best friends. She's recently split up from her boyfriend (after cheating on him numerous amounts of times).

For a while she's always given me the impression that she likes me, but I get confused because I swear she think's i'm gay (i'm not gay, but it doesn't really bother me that she thinks I am). We ended up sleeping together recently after she gave me a pretty good act that she liked me and wanted me in that way (she actually said so herself).

We haven't seen each other much since, or really talked about it properly. I've just found out however from a few other friends that she's been seeing her boyfriend again, and laughing behind my back at what happened between us, including the fact i'm gay. I'm not even gay? She told me that I was what she wanted?

I don't really know how to deal with this situation. I'm not so much bothered about the relationship side of things, i'm just a bit annoyed that as a friend she could do this to me?! If she'd have just told me how she really felt, then I would have happily accepted what she wanted and still remained her good friend. I still want to be her friend (it would be too awkward not to be because most of my friends are her friends), but I don't know what to do from here? Is she worth being a friend? I feel totally pissed off!

Thanks for any advice!

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Situation with Ex

I got into a relationship with my ex-girlfriend when we were 17 (we're 21 now) and for the first couple of years it was really good. then in our third year things in both our lives got on top of us, we were being petty over stupid little things and arguing for the sake of arguing sometimes, so we decided to end it. We wanted to be friends but I couldn't handle being in contact with her, so I stopped talking to her. Bit of a dick move I know but I didn't know what else to do. My feelings didn't go away but everything just got easier, I could get on with day to day stuff again without constantly.

A few months later we were both at a party and we caught each others eye and all my feelings came flooding back. We went outside to talk and we ended up chatting all night in my car and I took her home the next morning. I basically told her I was still in love with her and I'd sorted my life out so I thought we could go back to our old selves. She'd met someone else the week before who she had feelings for and said, while she still had feelings for me, she didn't know if she still loved me and the fact that she liked this other guy confused her even more.

Over the next few months leading up to christmas just gone we went out a few times and even got a bit physical, though we didn't have sex. Just before christmas I found out she was also meeting up with this guy at uni but so far she had only kissed him.

Fast forward to last weekend. We had been out a couple of times more (she's away at Uni so we didn't see each other much) but the physical side had stopped apart from the odd kiss she gave me and then said she regretted. She told me over the phone that in the few weeks just gone they'd "done nearly everything but had sex" a few times, and it absolutely destroyed me inside. She said it was because she was lonely. I told her I just wanted to get over her and move on now and that I didn't want her to message me because it would make me feel worse.

A few hours later she texted me saying she still loved me and wanted to try again.

I don't know what to do, I'm not even sure how I feel anymore. We'd only ever been with each other and I guess I just saw her as 'special' because of that, and I'm scared that's not going to be there. She still see's this guy as well, goes out with him at the weekend and stuff, and that's probably going to make me jealous and paranoid. Then I think maybe I was just some kind of fallback after she was done at Uni, it's just convenient she realised this only after I said I wanted to walk away. I'm also scared if I did walk away, I'd never quite have the connection with her with someone else. Until the last part of our relationship, we just clicked. The idea of her cheating on me never even occurred to me, she was the one I wanted to be with forever.

I just don't know. I have a lot of built up anger and sadness, I can't concentrate on work and just basically feel like ****. Advice please? What would you do, what do you think etc...?

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Am I being "friendzoned"?

There is this girl that I like, she's very playful and friendly and it's often hard to tell if she's joking around or being serious. It's this playful nature that makes me think I'm being friendzoned with her. We talk a lot and get along very well with each other. But she says we're good friends or something along those lines and on some occasions it points towards something more than a friend. Again, it's hard to tell because of her playful nature. Her English isn't very good so it's hard to communicate with her properly.

The worry here is that if I ask her out and get rejected, the friendship could be over altogether and that's the last thing that I want. I can handle rejection, I just don't want her to ignore me if she finds out I like her more than a friend.

What should I do? I've been speaking with her for about 2-3 weeks... Am I going about it too quickly and should I give it time?

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What does a rapist look like?

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should i have said something

my friends lives in a flat (halls) where he is the only non-disabled person. we had an assignment to do on the day so we spent our time just getting high and doing it. i randomly decided to fry a steak and like 2 minutes into it some disabled guy rolls up in his wheelchair and starts making this weird stew thing.

he rammed it with onions and all the fumes from his stew were going straight onto my face so i was crying pretty hard. it was the most awkward situation i've ever been in, the guy is sitting on his wheelchair 1 inch from me using the same cooker. anyway, my eyes were already all closed up and red (vagina face) from the fat joint we smoked prior to coming to the kitchen - so the onions pissed me off so much. like it was obvious i was dying from this (first time i ever sweat from my chin) but he kept adding more and more onions and making EYE CONTACT with me every time he adds some.

seriously i felt it was a personal attack somehow - should i have said anything? i know i was high but i'm pretty sure he was doing it on purpose, knowing he could get away with pretty much anything as long as he's on a wheelchair

i haven't hated someone this much for a long time

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What do you class as cheating?

I was talking about this with my friends and I said anything from a kiss onwards but my friend said she doesn't think kissing is cheating. What do you class as cheating?

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I'm sick of it

All my life my parents have pretty much taken advantage of me. Not in a bad way, anything they needed done, i did. Since they were uneducated they relied on me. I did all their paperwork from a young age, helped them etc. As a result I missed out on my childhood, im not trying to say i hate them for it but i dont know what else to do right now.

I'm nearly 18 and im breaking down. constantly they shout at me, for stupid things, it doesn't bother me but they come to me when they need me and come to me, I help them regardless. But im at my limits, i get called useless, stupid and they constantly pass comments about me. To either their friends or each other.

I told them i wanted to apply for university in London, They now constantly bring it up, make me feel bad. like im abandoning them. They yel at me, we fight over it. I'm usually a very strong person but its reached its peek. I broke down and I really dont know how to deal with it.

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