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What to do?

  • Thread Starter

Hey there all

I've just been through an emotional break up with my partner, two days after Christmas. It ended sadly, and I have been feeling depressed and am still thinking about her for some reason. I won't go into much detail but it was a good relationship which slowly went declining :(. It was a year and a half, but I do miss her and I just regret I lost her.

I've got to move on, and it is somewhat working ok.

I posted a thread but it seems it is being moderated, so I just put this one here
- so ignore that post - I'll email the mod to delete it.

Basically now, I've got to focus on my studies and so and so forth, meanwhile I am looking for Korean/Japanese/Chinese girls to date. I find them attractive yes, and they have better traits than westerners in my opinion. I will be going to Uni (Winchester, Portsmouth) soon, once I finish this year of collage, and I am thinking of making friendships first. Whatever happens next we'll see about that. But I would like to know where can you find them?

I would either date a Japanese(loyal, attractive, and are very intelligent) plus I like Japanese culture as well. Or a South Korean as they have very attractive woman. I am Indian, but this shouldn't be anything important. But would I stand a chance I don't know, but after the breakup with my first gf in my life, you know I'm just a bit... like that.

So my goals are now:

1) Work hard and focus on getting into Uni.
2) Get a good job, and buy a house, and try and make a living for myself.
3) Getting published as a writer.
4) Try and find either a Japanese or Korean girl and make friendships with them, and see whether something good blossoms :)

But yeah that's pretty much it. Ask me if you're confused with my post about anything.

(I do apologise if I am making any offensive comments or anything like that - my intention is not to do so.)

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What should I do now?

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Would be grateful for any advice on my situation.

A year or two ago now I used to talk to this girl. We met up a few times but it amounted to nothing due to myself not acting on anything as the situation of being with a girl was quite new.

Recently at a party a few people said to me that she still had feelings for me. I was a bit sceptical however I spoke to her. We got on really well, similar to before and resultantly shared a kiss.

I spoke to her after the party and we seemed to get on well. I invited her to do something but she said she was busy with family affairs. Soon after my friend hosted a party and I decided to invite her to that. She said to me that she wasn't able to attend as her close friends were having a party and she promised she would go. I found this understandable. However, she did in fact come to the party. Not telling me though. I found out a few hours before through my friend who was hosting it. She had messaged him saying she would come but not me.

We spoke at the party and again seemed to get on well and whilst alone I tried to kiss her. This time she backed away and said she couldn't. She said she didn't want to lead me on and me and her wouldn't work. She then spoke about how her last bf didn't work out. However I had not even proposed the idea of bf yet? I accepted this and said it was all fine as I didn't want to force her. She was very apologetic throughout and said I don't want this to be awkward.

I feel a bit gutted and confused as I do like her. What should I do now? I find it strange how she came to my party even though she had her friends to go to and then said she didn't want to lead me on? Also, her close friends have said she has feelings for me.

Thanks:)

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When a guy asks you to chill with him..

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I usually don't think to deep into it, but I just spoke to my friend and he says when he invites a girl over to chill he's expecting more to go down. I've been to guys houses before and there have been times when guys haven't even tried to make a move.

Guys: do you invite girls over with the intention to do more than chill?

Girls: do any of you think some guys genuinely want to spend time with you without the intention of making a move?

Bare in mind I am not talking about friends here. I'm talking about in terms of dating etc

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Falling for ex again?

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OK, so my ex and I were together for 3 years and broke up 3 years ago whilst at uni - she broke up with me but we were both quite immature and it simply wasn't working out because of this.

We've not really spoken much (a tiny bit, but not much) in the meantime but in the past month we've been talking a bit more and have met up a few times. The times we've met up, we have had a real laugh and have also been reminiscing about the 'old times' when we were together...it still seems like that 'spark' is there. She's in a relationship at the moment, although she says she really isn't happy in it (and he's done stuff anyway) so they won't be staying together much longer.

Thing is, when we've met up I've left with this feeling that I'm starting to fall for her again. The reasons for which we broke up seem to have gone now; we're both a lot more mature. We've also both apologised to each other for the mistakes we made when we were together. I'm not sure how/whether at all to do anything about this though, whether to mention something or even if I did what I would say or do. Or even if the feeling is even slightly reciprocated!

Any advice anyone? Do ex's ever get back together?

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I'm confused as to what to do...

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I don't know how to explain this

There's a person I really like and you could say we're in some sort of a relationship but he doesn't believe in "bf sentiments" so he doesn't want a relationship relationship but we still treat our relationship like one though. I found him about 8 months ago and I fell in love with immediately. I don't wanna lose him at all and I acknowledge we're not in a bf relationship together

Let's call him Person A

You see the only problem is that he's got someone else though and he likes him loads too and he met him before me about 2 years before I did. I know he loves him too and I've acknowledged that too but you see the person he loves though (not me) isn't exactly aware of me and he's known him for longer than I have.

Let's say he's Person B

A week back B was upset with A because C (some random guy) was attempting to flirt with A and B was worried about losing A as a result. And since B isn't aware of me, I'm thinking B won't accept me if he finds out about me and it'll damage the relationship between A and B.

A keeps telling me he'll tell B and he won't leave me or him. But I'm worried that B won't accept my relationship with A and as a result you know the rest of the story, heartbreak

A and B are older than I am BTW

I don't know what kind of relationship I am in either. I know I'm not in a bf relationship but I don't know though...:(

And what should I do? Should I leave him in fear that the relationship between A & B will be damaged or continue loving him?

I don't wanna lose him and I love him too but I'm confused though :( :cry:

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Should you be sad when someone breaks up?s

  • Thread Starter

I was having this discussion with someone that a breakup or divorce obviously happens for the better. No good relationship ever has a breakup. Obviously things weren't going well and the breakup made things better (in most cases).

So, when someone tells you they broke up, should you sympathise with them or not?

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Would you date me?

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Please don't think this a troll, I haven't had a gf yet so I'm kind of worried and afraid that I may be alone for a while. So here it goes, I'm not the best looking or tallest guy you'll meet for a long shot. I'm only 5'6 but still growing and I'd say I'm a 6, 7 depending on what you like. But I have a great personality, I'm kind and caring and a really good friend. I'm funny and generally get on with almost everybody very quickly. I'm also very athletic and training to get my lifeguard qualifications and I think that while I'm not the most intimidating person I could definitely take care of a girl. I'm not very clingy but a little insecure (if you knew me you'd understand). Lastly I'm smart and ambitious if that helps. So girls is there any chance that I'd have with you and if not why?
Thanks

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Break contact, or resolve issues?

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Ok, so a bit of a TLDR here.

A few months ago (let's say 5) somebody I have been friends with for years and who I have had an intimate relationship with in the past broke up with her boyfriend. I thought "you know what, **** it, let's see what happens", and went for it. She had had feelings for me for years and I knew it but I'm not one to charge in when somebody is in a relationship with somebody else.

Went well, sex was great, always enjoyed each others company. We're both busy people and one of us would simply have to move for a relationship to really work but these are both resolvable issues. She started gushing about how she had loved me for years, how she missed me and so on, and then it kind of stopped. Or, she said it had stopped then continued to say and do absolutely everything that she had been doing prior to saying it had stopped.

Then she went back out with her ex. 3 weeks later, complaining that she hadn't had sex since, well, me. That she thought she had made the wrong decision. It wasn't something I was prepared to entertain because her mouth was saying one thing and her actions another. Then her actions said something entirely different. Boom. Engagement ring on her finger. From the person she had recently left, recently got back together with, recently complained about, hadn't recently had sex with and so on.

I was a bit pissed off with this. I can't make sense of it, I don't know whether to just not associate with her or whether to challenge her on how bat**** crazy it all is.

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Sex positions helppp

  • Thread Starter

What sex positions/foreplay tips would you suggest for a young couple getting in the swing of things?? Thanks for the help
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Can I ask him if he's sleeping with other women?

  • Thread Starter

I'm 21 and in September I met a guy on an online community site (not dating site) we talked now and then, gradually more so as we got on well. In October we exchanged numbers and texted daily (still do).

It came up in conversation one day that I had never been kissed let alone anything else and he half-jokingly offered to teach me about those things. In November he rented a cottage nearby and visited for a week we met several times but it wasn't until the last day that we kissed, I stayed the night but we didn't go further than 2nd base.

In December we went out for the day, wandered around my home city, went for dinner and a film. We held hands, kissed, and exchanged Christmas gifts, and already plan to meet for weekends in January and February (we live 75 miles apart).

I understand it's pretty casual which is fine, but is it appropriate to ask if he's seeing other people at the same time? It's not that I'd be jealous but just that even though we would be safe sexually (condom and the pill) the idea of sleeping with someone who is also sleeping with others feels wrong/dirty to me.


TL;DR older guy is 'teaching' me sexually, before we go past 2nd base, can I ask if he's also being intimate with other women? (It's more of a hygiene/health point than romantic notions).

Thank you in advance for any advice I may receive.

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Daddy Issues - Jamaican Men are unfaithful!

  • Thread Starter

Am I right in saying that most Jamaican men are unfaithful and are only in it for the sex and the money. I speak from experience, my father is of Jamaican descent.

My father used my mother for her money and her standing in society just to create a name for himself, eventually when he mucked everything up he moved on to his next prey. This man so to speak this man is meant to send my mother child support every month but he gets involved in all kinds of crooked deals (stealing) and the most he has ever sent this past year is no more than 35 pounds. Having heard several similar other stories about Jamaican men, I'm starting to think it's true. I'm not saying that they are the only type that cheat and are interested in money but this is some next level bull****.

In addition, my mother had 10 girl children but I am the (girl) child that survived. My father has always wanted a boy child, so, that's what he got...With another woman.

History lesson:
The typical Jamaican family is matriarchal whereby the woman is the breadwinner and the man does whatever the F he want to do. It is also seen to be quite prestigious to have a "son" just like all those other backward societies that don't appreciate the girl child.

NB: It is a fact that Jamaican men tend to also be quite abusive

Lately I've reading about pheromones and I'd hate to be attracted to men like my father, it is simply appalling. And yes, I've shied away from dating simply because I can't be hurt again. I mean it's only a fool that makes the same mistake twice and expects the same results.

The reason I posted it in the relationship forum is to seek advice on whether I am making a generalisation and whether I will find myself in the same predicament.

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Feeling so conflicted right now :(

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Okay, you see there's a person who I found about 9 months ago and fell in love with him immediately. But you see he doesn't believe in the idea of "boyfriendxboyfriend" so doesn't want a closed monogamous relationship you see. I'm not exactly fond of the idea but accepted it though since he found someone else before he found me and I don't wanna lose him at all.

Let's call the person I like X and the other person Y

But the person whom he found before me (Y) isn't aware that he loves me and I'm starting to think that person wants a closed monogamous relationship with that person. (X)

I don't wanna affect the relationship between X & Y but I'm scared if Y finds out it will affect their relationship but I don't wanna lose X though you see. :o

I'm not fussed about 3 way or not being in a monogamous relationship but I'm worried I'll affect their relationship and I'm so conflicted if I should leave him or continue being with X in fear of affecting their relationship. :o

What should I do? :(

X says he'll tell Y in time and he wants me to meet Y but I'm scared about that as well :o and X also says he won't leave me or Y. :(

Any advise please? I'm so conflicted :(

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Girls: if a guy called you "moderately pretty"?

  • Thread Starter

Would you take it as a compliment? Or take it badly ?

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Lost best friend

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So I have 2 best friends. One of them lives down the road and is a a relative. We talked and went out almost every single day but out families don't really like each other. So our parents told us not to talk to each other.
Have any of you gone through anything similar? It feels horrible and worse then losing any GF. We didn't even drift apart which is the worst thing. It just went from being inseparable to not calling/talking to each other.

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