Question to the cheaters..

I guess I'm just trying to understand a little better what goes on the minds of cheaters.. and i have a couple of questions to ask.. 1) Can cheaters really cheat on someone they truly love and can't live without?? Or do they feel like they dont love their spouse, in the moment. 2) During the whole affair, im sure there was a point when you knew the line was crossed, why didn't you stop? 3) Did you feel guilt while having an affair? 4) Were you ever thinking you needed/wanted to stop at some point in the affair? 5) I understand compartmentalization.. but is it really that separated? As you're having the affair and go back home to your spouse, are you really living a double life? Do you not think about your spouse when with the AP and not think about the AP when with your spouse? 6)How did you feel when the affair was found out? How did you feel at the moment, looking into your spouses face? What did you feel? 7) Would you have an affair again? I request the BS to not answer the questions with they're selfish, they're entitled, they're narcissists.. i dont disagree with you. But I really wanted to get a grasp of what really goes through the mind of a cheater when they cheat.. Thank you in advance.

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Sexual Chemistry...thoughts?

My story is a long one. I'll fill in as needed, but let me just start here. Is there anything you can do to make sexual chemistry happen between you and your and spouse when it's always been a problem? Or is it just there or it's not? Thoughts?

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Happy Father's Day

Although my father is no longer with us, I want to thank him for being the best dad ever. He served 24 years in the U.S. Marine Corps and provided for our large family. It must have been a struggle, but he made it appear easy. He was the best! Happy father's day to all of you great TAM dad's, I know by all of your posts how much you love and protect your children. I hope you all enjoy your special day! Here's a pic of my handsome Daddy Please feel free to pay a tribute to your Dads :)

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Why are you on GTDS so much?

I know many of you are like me. I see you posting all day (and all night). Why? What are you looking for here? Many of you keep up with your threads often as you have so many things going on. Still in the thick of things with the drama a divorce can sometimes bring. But in your downtime you're still here. Repeating the advice you've learned here and offering (much appreciated by the way) support. I'm just curious why we are here so much. What are we looking for?

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Am I Bi?

So, this is the first time I'm openly admitting/discussing this so this is a weird feeling. For a while now, I have seriously considered the idea of what it would be like to have sex with the same gender as mine. I can find people of my gender attractive sexually and get turned on by watching porn between the same gender rather than straight. But, I have always been in straight relationships, all of which I enjoyed at the time, and have enjoyed straight sex. Also, I feel romantically interested in people with the opposite gender, whereas with the same it's only ever been sexual. I think it does make me Bisexual... but the more I think about it, the more I know that if I ever fell in love and have a long term relationship with someone, it would be with someone of the opposite gender to me. With those of the same, it really is just about the sex. I don't know what my question is really, I guess just, what are you thoughts? I'm basically just pretty confused right now, and the things I've written above tend to change depending on my moods. There I times when I find the thought of having sex and close contact with anyone else just repulsive and that is usually why I have then ended relationships...

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Is it my personality or the girls I'm around?

I'm 17, and to this date I have not had a girlfriend or any meaningful friendships with a girl. I don't know whether it is my personality or my appearance - I'm not shy, I'm not awkward or horrible, and although I'm by no means a social powerhouse I have a good circle of reliable friends. Appearance-wise I'm 6"2, 80 kg, blond hair, blue eyes. Not muscular but not skinny. I can't seem to make myself seem attractive to girls despite all attempts - I just keep getting friendzoned. All my mates have had girlfriends and I'm one of the only virgins in my year. Maybe the problem is my intentions not being clear - but it could be that I have little in common with girls at my school, not having any common interests - while I'd like to be talking about meaningful and important things most of them would rather talk about Made in Chelsea for example. What is wrong? Can anyone help me out? It's actually got to the stage that my Mum thinks I'm gay, when I know I'm not.

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annoyed, irritated with marijuana-addicted daughter

Hi all, I am kind of annoyed and just need to get it off my chest, so bear with me, o.k?:o I posted a while back about my daughter and her drug/marijuana use. She has been to a residential treatment facility and is now out, and doing well. I should be happy, right? I should be THRILLED, RIGHT? Yet I just feel empty and angry at what she has put us through! I am also not comfortable supporting the Alternative Peer Group she belongs to. This Alternative Peer Group is basically an Alcoholics Anonymous group for teens. It deals with all substance abuse (from alcohol to weed to crack and meth). I think my big issue with the whole thing is that this APG takes up LOTS of her time (granted it is summer and idle hands are the Devil's playthings) which takes lots of time away from the rest of the family. My husband has done ALL of the APG support for her and here is the reason why: We both went with her to the first meeting at a local Baptist church. I was prepared to explore this new thing that I thought was going to be a temporary adjustment. I went into the parking lot, and saw a group of teens hanging around the parking lot smoking. O.K. this did not leave a favorable first impression on me. I asked about this to see if this was a normal event. I was promptly answered by a mother of a son there. She said, "You better get used to it." I was OUTRAGED!!! My daughter is 16. I don't want her exposed to that! I made a stink about it and the meeting continued on. When we (the parents) went around and introduced ourselves and told our stories as to why we were there, the group leader and veteran parents started telling us about how different we had to do things to deal with ADDICTION! They told us how addiction is a FAMILY DISEASE. UM, huh? They told us how the addict cannot help him or herself, and they need constant and continued support and meetings to continue to stay sober. WHAT?:scratchhead: I am not a person who has ever dealt with drug addiction or alcoholism, so admittedly I am not familiar with this area, but the first thing I felt was CREEPED OUT! I just looked around the room at the others, and the new people seemed lost and bewildered also. The people that creeped me out were the facilitator and the "old timers." (the people who have been going to meetings a while) I felt like people were trying to ADOPT me into a CLAN of codependent people I didn't want to interact with. I am not a "Group" person. I don't like to get involved with people I am not friends or family with. I felt like I was joining a cult or something, (maybe a bit strong, I don't mean like David Koresh or the Branch Davidians or anything), I just felt like people where trying to "assimilate" me. At any rate, I don't know them from Adam, and I really don't want a new family. I have PLENTY of family and friends, and I don't feel comfortable in groups, much less groups of people I don't know. This is not a superior attitude or a "snobby" attitude, I'm just a private person, and I don't like large groups. I also don't know if I feel comfortable with the mindset of becoming marijuana dependent (Addiction) is a DISEASE. I just don't think that explains the NUMEROUS people I know who used pot in high school and college who have a life, job, family, and NO association with ANY AA group at all. They have these things because they took responsibility and got clean and changed their habits. I just don't like the idea of GROWN ADULTS and older teenagers teaching my 16 year old daughter that She is POWERLESS against drugs, because (through no fault of her own actions or decisions) has a DISEASE. Am I the only person that thinks this sets up a blaming buck-passing mentality? This way of thinking teaches that she will never be free of this, and she will always need that group. I don't agree with that doctrine. Now having said that, my husband, whom I love more than anyone but my kids, supports the program. He is happy to go along with this APG. Truly, part of me understands his position... She IS doing better, and has not had any relapse yet :smthumbup:. However, he takes her to some group or activity or AA meeting 4 days out of the week! They both stay for hours since parents are supposed to stay and supervise. Meanwhile I stay with my other daughter (She is 12). She has different (younger) interests. I feel that this APG (Alternative Peer Group) is stealing time from my other daughter as well as my husband and myself, and I don't really want my family to become card carrying members of AA just to interact as a family. I personally don't see that a group validating a person's HELPLESSNESS over an illegal substance helps anyone heal. I actually feel like this could convince her that she is less able to handle this. Now before you go flaming me, I'm not a hater of any group, but I do reserve my right to disagree with the views they hold. If anyone has any constructive advice, other than telling me that I'm just overreacting or not happy because I don't want to be, or anything else, I could really use some words of encouragement. I love my daughter and want her to get past this, but I don't want this to SCAR her for LIFE! :confused:

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Need advice, complicated house situation

I am living out next year at uni with 3 other people. The house has 3 doubles and 1 small single. Me and another housemate wanted to divide fairly, drawing names from a hat. But the other other 2 say they want the doubles and basically i have a single. Their argument is that they "have more stuff". One of them is threatenning to drop out of the house if she doesnt get a double. I dont really want the small room, although im more OK with it compared to them. Shall I just volunteer for it? Don't know what to do :/

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Relationship Anxiety - Does it ever get better?

I apologize in advance, this might not be in the right section. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year and up until now things have been great. About a month ago my boyfriend started becoming distant and less available to talk and I could tell something was up. I finally confronted him and he told me that he's been casually talking to a woman he met at work. He's been distant with me because he's feeling guilty that he would even seem interested in someone else. He told me that nothing sexual has happened and they're just very friendly and he catches himself thinking about her. We haven't seen each other in about 9 months and I figured that the distance had contributed to his feelings. I was ready to break up with him until the next day I woke up to about 7 texts and a few missed phone calls. He told me that he has been in a horrible state of mind for the past few months and hasn't talked to me about it. He's ashamed of mistreating me and not telling me that he loves me enough. He promised to end all contact with the woman from work and focus on us. I was a mess during the month when he was so distant with me. I couldn't eat or sleep and I would spend most of my days crying and wondering what I had done wrong. So needless to say, I was ecstatic to hear that he loved me after that long month of uncertainty. After that talk, things were back to normal. Actually, they were better than normal. He was treating me like he did before the "honeymoon phase" wore out. He wanted to be in contact with me 24/7. He would text me all day long while he was at work, (been a while since we had long, long talks while he was working) call me whenever he had any sort of downtime no matter how short it was. Things were great. This continued for about 5 days and then the next day he wasn't as enthusiastic anymore. He still texted and called me occasionally, just no where near as much as before. It was back to our post-honeymoon phase relationship. Prior to our rough patch a month before, I was the most trusting and care-free person. I never questioned it when he got caught up at work or when he would take a little longer than usual to text back. I never imagined there would ever be someone else in the picture. We had talked about moving in together soon and to me it was as perfect as a long distance relationship could be. I think it was the shock of hearing that he was talking to another woman that has made me so paranoid- but now every day I wake up in fear that today will be the day he'll become distant with me again and tell me he's found someone else. I usually wake up to a text from him and if I don't I automatically assume the worst and think he's with someone else. I'm a mess until I talk with him on the phone and reassure myself that he still sounds like he loves me. We'll have a really good night and spend hours and hours talking and he'll be so loving and I'll be so happy but by the next morning that reassura nce is gone and I'm a nervous wreck until I hear from him again. I think I'm going crazy and I'm scared I'm not emotionally stable enough to be in this relationship anymore and I sometimes feel like I should just end it so the pain will stop.. But, I love him like crazy and I'm so scared of what would happen if we were to break up. I've never been so paranoid in a relationship before and I hate it. It's like I need constant reassurance from him every second and that's a horrible way to be. I feel so confused. :(

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Advice if anyone has it

Okay so, well this is a bit awkward but.... Anyway I'm an 18 yr old male and I don't know where I stand with this girl We've been friends for probably like a year and a half or so, and we've always been good friends in contact but since January we've talked probably quite a lot more When I say talk I mean like as if we are best friends talk you know, not like direct flirting if you get me Anyway I went to her friends party as a plus one in like April and since then IDK we've just probably not stopped speaking. Still, it's more of the best friend talk rather than anything else but she always drops in things, like love you and 'me and my friend zoe were talking and said if I was a boy I'd have well gone out with you by now' and twice when we've been out drunk we've said like we like each other maybe a bit more but IDK if I'm still mis-interpreting it Anyway we planned to go out yesterday and with one of our friends who's a girl and like last sunday she rang me up with another friend when they were out saying 'everyone thinks were going out' and her friend was like 'you definitely are' and we went to the park last week and as we were leaving she said that again and stuff and IDK, we have been really good friends I haven't always like like-liked her but IDK, I've never had the confidence to say anything - it's not that I'm shy, I'm pretty outgoing and stuff but I'm proper self conscious - most importantly how other people perceive me - I know it's a really bad quality to have but I guess from previous experiences, losing friends and that I try to be a real people pleaser Anyway, but when she's in my presence she talks about other lads she's messaging or speaking too and I find it proper awkward - we went out after a drink and then she was proper looking to try and get it on with someone in town. But she seems like she's changed recently too and I feel like I don't really like her much. We're definitely complete opposites, like totally - maybe that's why we get on so much, but hmm I don't know what to do. I'm sick of being in her presence when she's talking about other lads she's texting, and whilst I did quite like her, I guess it's kind of going now and I don't know, I don't like the person that she's kind of changing into. It's proper awkward but what do I do. She's like 'why are you in a mood' and thinks it's me been socially awkward but the big fat elephant is that it's her that's annoying me. I don't really know what to do. Do I come clean and just say all my feelings like I've said here. I'm good friends with her, like really we are good friends, I don't want to break our friendship in any way but we've probably seen each other tooo much and maybe I just need to get a bit back to reality and stuff and accept it's more of a friendship and move on, but maybe she feels something and it's my real lack of self confidence and stuff that's stopping me from thinking that. Sorry if you've read all that but thanks :')

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A girl who is starting to distance her self....

Hello TSR! This year in my maths class I had a new girl joining. For the first few months we hardly talked to each other. Then we started to talk and got to know each other bits by bits (although not much). My feelings for her really started to change the more we talked. It got to a point where I realised I really like her. I was starting to get nervous around her and really struggled to make eye contact with her. So I decided to ask her out. I told her we should probably make a plan for next week (22nd June) to go and have a dinner. And she was like "yh sure" until when I got home and she goes "is it only me and you going to dinner?" and I said yes and she told me there has to be "another person" too. At that point I really got confused and didn't know what to reply so I just said "we'll figure something out". That was 3 weeks ago. During half term (2 weeks ago) we met with few of our friends for revision and while we were going home and then me and my friends decided to pull a practical joke and then she fell over and got "hurt". So then after this she started to talk to me less and less. I told her I'm sorry and after a few days she said "it's fine". But it really hasn't. During this two weeks we have met but with her friends and my friends always being there. We've had less conversation and it's becoming really awkward. Her friends told me that she "freaks" out when someone says she likes her and one day in McDonalds she was telling her friends how she would "ignore a guy if he told her that they like her" but she would rather the person to "tell her that they like her because you never know what the girl might say". Although I find that logic really strange! -.- So the day after this happened I texted her saying I want to talk to her tomorrow if she's free but she said she's busy as she's going to some appointment and I said ok we'll arrange another time and she said it's fine. Friday we were sitting down again in the library and revising with her friends and she seems to make conversation with everyone except me so I couldn't take it anymore and I texted her if she wants to have a chat today! and I haven't got a reply yet. What do you guys think I should do? I know she seems not be interested but I keep asking myself "what if she's scared to hear it from me?" Please guide me with some advice. Thank you!

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Relationship Help

There is this girl at school who I like. We have left school for the year so I won't see her again until September. I can't stop thinking about it no matter what I'm doing even sport. What can I do?

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Is this just a rebound?

My ex (not even 2 weeks since we broke up) has been saying that he does want to try again and what needs to change (talk more openly, spend less time together ect), but he's also said he doesn't know when we will try again, "it could be months, years, who knows, but it will happen". He has also said he wants to remain friends for the time being. However, I've just found out today he's been off flirting with other girls, and even arranged for one to go stay at his flat on Saturday (no prizes for guessing what's happening there!). Thing is, this girls seemed to be interested in him all throughout our relationship. Is he just wanting a bit of attention? Or is he looking for a rebound? All these girls he's talking to are also complete opposite to what I've heard/known his "type" to be. Is that just a way of moving on? Also can anyone shed some light on rebounds for me? Like how long do they last ect? I do truly believe he is the man I want to be with, and the one, so of course I want to reconcile in the future, but I'm not holding my breath. I've realised he's putting himself out there already, so I am too! I want to go NC, and I have tried, but right now it's so hard, 1) knowing theres a new girl on the scene already, and 2) we seem to have slipped up not so long ago so there might be something there, if you get what I mean. (I still haven't come to terms with it myself). Any advice on what to do?

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Too many breakups, feeling cynical and jaded, little desire to date,noidea what to do

I'm a 26 year old male. Let me tell you a story. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They share something great. After 6-18 months, boy freaks out, leaves girl brokenhearted. Boy dates around for a little while, riding the high of the freedom of the breakup. After a few months, boy burns out and enters depression, has no more desire to date or fall in love. Repeat a few times. That's my life story. This happened with 4 or 5 girls. I didn't leave them because I didn't care about them or love them, I just felt either insecure or not up to the task of long-term commitment. The problem is, now, I'm single again, and I hate my job, and I'm depressed, and I've been dating around a bit, but I don't know what the hell I'm looking for and I feel like I'm wasting my time. I don't even know why people do this shit... this dating shit. What's the point? I'm a good-looking, in-shape, intelligent, funny 26 year old guy. Most people who saw me wouldn't believe I could be in this state of mind. I get 5 to 10 numbers from girls every week, but when all is said and done, I just have very little desire to call any of them. I guess I'm just getting their numbers for validation. I'll also set up dates and then flake from time to time. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I was a bit of a ladies man, I haven't slept with an exorbitant amount of women, somewhere between 20 and 30, but I just have very little desire to go out there and pick up women as a pastime, waking up in the morning and feeling terrible. I have this huge desire to be alone, just hole up in my apartment and not see or talk to anyone. I have abused drugs for years and years. Psychedelics, cocaine, heroin, speed, even all these weird designer drugs that no one's ever heard of. Three weeks ago, my family moved out of state. They've always been here, and now they're gone, and lately it seems like they just don't seem to understand where I'm at in life, and talking to them on the phone is like talking to strangers. On top of that, last week a friend of mine committed suicide and since then I feel like I've been hit with even more depression. Every day I feel like I'm inching closer and closer to the same fate, I feel like I could follow in his footsteps--but for better or for worse, I'm much too vain and proud to kill myself, I think it's the easy way out and it's for wimps and the delusional. I've been seriously considering trying to score some H again. I just feel like I need the comfort that it brings, because I can't seem to find that comfort anywhere else. I feel like my own worst enemy… trapped inside myself. I guess I'm just looking for advice about how to reconnect with reality. I feel jaded and completely cynical. I can't imagining forming a real emotional connection with someone. I just need to hear that I'm not the only one who's gone through relationship after relationship and feels totally burnt out...

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Too many breakups, feeling cynical and jaded, little desire to date,noidea what to do

I'm a 26 year old male. Let me tell you a story. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They share something great. After 6-18 months, boy freaks out, leaves girl brokenhearted. Boy dates around for a little while, riding the high of the freedom of the breakup. After a few months, boy burns out and enters depression, has no more desire to date or fall in love. Repeat a few times. That's my life story. This happened with 4 or 5 girls. I didn't leave them because I didn't care about them or love them, I just felt either insecure or not up to the task of long-term commitment. The problem is, now, I'm single again, and I hate my job, and I'm depressed, and I've been dating around a bit, but I don't know what the hell I'm looking for and I feel like I'm wasting my time. I don't even know why people do this shit... this dating shit. What's the point? I'm a good-looking, in-shape, intelligent, funny 26 year old guy. Most people who saw me wouldn't believe I could be in this state of mind. I get 5 to 10 numbers from girls every week, but when all is said and done, I just have very little desire to call any of them. I guess I'm just getting their numbers for validation. I'll also set up dates and then flake from time to time. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I was a bit of a ladies man, I haven't slept with an exorbitant amount of women, somewhere between 20 and 30, but I just have very little desire to go out there and pick up women as a pastime, waking up in the morning and feeling terrible. I have this huge desire to be alone, just hole up in my apartment and not see or talk to anyone. I have abused drugs for years and years. Psychedelics, cocaine, heroin, speed, even all these weird designer drugs that no one's ever heard of. Three weeks ago, my family moved out of state. They've always been here, and now they're gone, and lately it seems like they just don't seem to understand where I'm at in life, and talking to them on the phone is like talking to strangers. On top of that, last week a friend of mine committed suicide and since then I feel like I've been hit with even more depression. Every day I feel like I'm inching closer and closer to the same fate, I feel like I could follow in his footsteps--but for better or for worse, I'm much too vain and proud to kill myself, I think it's the easy way out and it's for wimps and the delusional. I've been seriously considering trying to score some H again. I just feel like I need the comfort that it brings, because I can't seem to find that comfort anywhere else. I feel like my own worst enemy… trapped inside myself. I guess I'm just looking for advice about how to reconnect with reality. I feel jaded and completely cynical. I can't imagining forming a real emotional connection with someone. I just need to hear that I'm not the only one who's gone through relationship after relationship and feels totally burnt out...

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Insecure, what do you think?

A little insecure because the last girl I was with didn't want to date anymore.. Blah, should I be insecure about my looks?

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Syria......

If there ever was a dilemma facing a President it is Syria. Lets pretend you get to make the call. What would you do as President of the United States and why?

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No "lovin" at home, No "lovin" at work..Same solution?

So, I've told my wife I want a sep and now just working on finding a place. Blah, blah. Now on to the important stuff. I work at a car dealership. Today we had a sweet a$$ Mustang traded in and I was going to buy it. Got a price, was doing the paperwork. The owner, who had agreed to the deal, comes up and says the people who buy our wholesale cars are having a fit and he can't sell me the car. WTF?!?!? I've worked for you for 12 years mother fracker!! You're going to let a freaking wholeseller tell you who you can or can't sell a car to? You can't take care of your employees even a little? After you got rid of our sick time? After all the empty "we're looking into a benefits package" promises?!!??! Well, guess what mother effer, when I gave you the keys to the mustang back I forgot to give you the fuxin key to the building and the safe too. But you'll be getting that back as soon as I find another job! Sorry, had to vent :D

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jealousy

Anyone else get an extreme case of jealousy when there wife goes out with the girls, to clubs etc dont get me wrong i trust her,but after the kids are asleep its a night of what ifs,whats going on,whats the next day hold etc stupid really as i trust her anyway,shes never cheated. I havent gone to a nightclub in ages as, well im married,i see no need,but she likes to dance so i understand this really, but it grates me sh$tl%ss that other men will be cracking onto her, theres no point approaching it and saying you cant go there,your walking a fine line trying to lay down a law! Just curious how others deal with it, just saying grates lol plus recently our marriage has been less than perfect due to situation,money etc. so its even worse probably tonight lol.

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Wife Gets Mad when I go Out

Hello Everyone, I'm new to this forum but will probably be posting quite a bit as it feels like our marriage is going through some problems. I'll try not to make this too long, but I'll start with a little back story. My wife and I have been married for 5 years and we have a 3 year old son. She has been in a grueling school program for the majority of the time we have been married. She is also in a weekend program, which hasn't always allowed us to spend as much time together as I would like. Although we do lots of small things when we can even if it's just going out for ice cream, driving around, taking 30 minutes to go for a walk together, etc. As a result of my wife's schedule, I am always the one taking our son places, trying to find new activities for him, joining playgroups, and generally playing with him from the time I get home through bed time. Since she is typically in school during the weekend I also spend all weekend with him. I love being a father and have a great time bonding with my son, even though I do wish my wife could do more activities with us I understand she's busy (she does come with us sometimes but usually is reading her notes so it feels like she isn't really "there" if that makes sense). I feel like I do a lot for the family and really spend a lot of time at home, not only supporting my wife with her studies, but spending time with and taking care of our son. Well, maybe once a month or once every other month (it just depends, there is no set schedule) I'll get together with a group of friends to listen to music and drink. Sometimes I don't even leave until I give my son a bath and make sure he is ready for bed, although my mother in law moved in with us 2 months ago so she'll usually put him in bed now. Because my friend lives 35 minutes away and I don't want to drive while drinking I sometimes tell her I'll just spend the night there so I won't drive impaired. Another married buddy of mine that goes also stays there because he lives even further away. I don't always spend the night, I probably have only 4 times..just depends how I feel and I always tell her. Every once in a while she gets really angry that I am spending time with friends and that I need to be home. I do understand her point about spending the night somewhere, but if I were home I would just be watching TV or sleeping while she would be studying so it's not like I'm cutting down on a lot of family time. I also don't feel like I go very often I also don't drink at home. There are also times where I try to spend time or talk to her and she says she's busy..which I understand. I also like going to concerts so might go to one once a month or sometimes once every few months (just depends on what bands are coming through). I would love for my wife to come with me, but she just doesn't enjoy it and isn't interested. I'm usually home by 11 pm on those nights and don't drink. Well, every so often she gets really mad about me going to do these things and says it's like I'm more excited about concerts/friends than the family. I just don't understand her point when, other than the exceptions above, I am always spending time with the family, but just take a few days here and there for myself. I sometimes even feel like I am raising our son by myself. Of course I love spending time with my family, but why is it also bad to enjoy doing other things? Am I being unreasonable or selfish? I have encouraged my wife to go out with friends for "girls night" or something but she doesn't want to. She has a few friends that have invited her, but she never goes. I would love to hear other people's thoughts. Thanks!

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