| Hello! I wish I had found this site awhile ago. Then again, the pain from an unfaithful spouse doesn't just go away, so I'm glad I found you all now. My D-Day was May 16, 2012. He 'ended' the affair (in other words, went underground.) D-Day #2 was May 21, 2012. Agreed to talk to him on May 27, 2012. He said he would do anything to save our marriage. D-day #3 was June 7, 2012. Rec'd emergency restraining order (for me) against AP June 8, 2012. We've been in therapy since June, 2012 and are still going. My concerns/questions: 1. After D-Day #1, our minister came over to try to help us. My DH kept making comments about my weight. I'm on depression drugs and have gained a lot of weight (about 80 lbs.) in the past few years. I am working on losing the weight but know he's not sexually attracted to me right now. We are not 'engaging' for the time being (was his choice, now mine.) I am concerned that he will want to be intimate as I lose weight. My thought is that I am the same inside. I am not unclean, immobile, etc. I think that, if he doesn't want me now as I am, I don't want him as I'm thinner. I love him, we are working things out, and we are both trying make this work (and succeeding.) My thought is that his sexual love is conditional and I don't want conditional love. I know I'll be bringing this up in therapy but I wanted to bounce it off of others in my situation. Is my way of thinking wrong? 2. Th e restraining order is up next month. On the legal paperwork, the matter is "continued" until next month. I am not asking for legal advice but experiential advice. I want the order extended but don't know the chances I have. The AP hasn't made any contact for the duration of the restraining order but she isn't able to do so. She threatened me and I'm afraid of her. I just plainly don't want her anywhere near me. Do I have a snowball's chance of getting the order extended in your opinion?Thank you in advance for your help. I am sorry that this forum is necessary and that we are all here. Then again, I am glad we can all be here for support and help. | |||
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