Let me start with my hubby and I met in the US while he was on vacation . We started off as friends but after I visited him we became more and maintained a long distance relationship for a year and a half until he moved here. During that long distance time we spoke everyday if not twice a day and the only thing I asked him to do was to be open and honest no matter what because I had been married before and my ex had lied and just wasn't good for me(no need to smear him that's why he is an ex). I was completely honest about my past and what I want for my future including my sexual expectations (I wanted to have fun). We got married about 9 months after he moved here. We have been married for almost 5 yrs now. So now this is the behind the scenes story, there was always something odd when we would have sex; it just always seemed disconnected from the person I would talk to on the phone (if that makes sense) what I mean is the man I talk to on the phone who seemed very sexual was not the man I would get when we were in bed. Very missionary and after his supposed orgasm he would still be completely hard ,which I asked about but never got a real answer . Also after the supposed orgasm,there didn't seem to be any trace of it (if you know what I mean) and my hubby always had an excuse. One I decided I was going to used my skills and do everything to him ,but couldn't get any result. Hubby finally explained he is anorgasmic with intercourse and he had been faking it all along:'( he stated that he has been like this since he started having sex then he threw down that he only gets excited by feet and the only way he can orgasm is by masturbating while my feet are on his face or above his face. Needless to say I was stunned ...HE LIED.. And had lied all along , and now I was married to him and either I excepted it or I would have to go through another divorce.....uuuggggh(I didn't like it the first time) I figure we can wo rk on this we could figure it out together ...well 4years later and we are now down to having sex randomly maybe once a month and sometimes that only consists of me rubbing my feet on his face while he masturbates, his form of sexting or talking dirty or pillow talk is him telling me or me telling him what he wants to do to my feet or should do to my feet. I have tried to get in to this but it just isn't my thing. I even tried to explain to him what I need and he says he just cant get into it. I don't even try anymore because of the constant rejection over the past four years. I slowly gave up. I don't even know what to ask him to do to help me orgasm because I know it does nothing for him so I can't get into it. Well here is the dilemma I am in... I have tried to be accepting and understanding but I NEED sex , I need a man to orgasm while I have sex with him because it is satisfying and a major turn on for me to know that I pleased him and that he enjoyed it as much as I did . Well just recently I have been receiving a lot of advances from a particular person and I have never let me repeat NEVER even considered cheating in my life but I am actually starting to consider it.... :'( Has anyone ever gone through this and figured out a balance? Is there hope for my hubby and I ? How do you get your head back in the game when it feels hopeless ? Any advise? Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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Hubby had sexual issues he didn't tell me about until after we married....
My partners exW is a *****
ugh, just have to get this out here because clearly I can't say it IRL. I love Mr H, he loves me, we are blissfully happy. My ex and I are very amicable, co parent very well and put our children first. I have no previous experience with mental health issues, Mr H's ex has mental health issues. She manipulates their kids and the end result is that he has very limited time with them. This is the part of "life after divorce" that I find very confronting. I got divorced, got my act together, getting on with my life. This ***** will always be there causing grief for those around her. I am very good at emotionally supporting my partner and have never said anything derogatory about his ex to him and I do my best to give him all the support he needs. Just needed to get it out that I find her behaviour revolting and very confronting. | |||
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Had a one night stand, how do I tell my husband?
Well hi everyone. I browsed this website for a good few hours and just decided to register to get some help. Anyways, I'm not sure where to begin. Last week I had a One night stand. I had went out to a house party my younger sister was hosting. My intention was to watch over her to prevent her from doing anything stupid. ( I guess I'm the idiot considering I was the one that ended up doing something stupid ) At some point during the party I ended up cheating. Yes I did have a drink but it had no affect on what I was doing. I was as sober as ever. I won't make any excuses. I just gave in to temptation. I personally just feel terribly guilty about it. I've been struggling to suppress those feelings for the past couple days to avoid having my husband see it. I just need some help. I know it will crush him no matter how I tell him but may I have some advice on how to approach it? Also, some things to avoid?:( | |||
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Would you be friends with your family if they weren't your family?
If you were born in another life, do you think you'd have still been friends with say siblings or parents if they weren't family members? Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
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Brother going cold
I was debating sharing this with everyone, but I am still struggling to wrap my mind around it. Anyways, got a family problem here and my main question for you all as I share this is what sort of position, action, or mindset should I stride for in response to this quick turn of events. My brother is in his late 20s and has been married for 4 or so years to a woman he had been dating for 5-6 years prior. They have a 2 year old son and she is pregnant with a daughter due this fall. About a month ago, my brother decided he wanted out of the marriage because he wasn't happy, and they are currently not living together. The bitter details are in regards to his perspective on all of this. He has been almost entirely absent emotion. Not crying, depressed, etc. He does not want to play any major role in the child's lives now, and since his son has been with the wife since this all started, he said he has been extremely happy that they are not around. I bet he could move across the country right now and never miss anyone. He has no friends and rarely meets people he cares for yet views himself as a near perfect being. He doesn't view social relationships as 'connecting' with people but just as 'interactions'. However, I don't want to paint him as a devil, he shows signs of guilt and remorse. Whether its due to believing people expect him to feel that way or because he truly does is unknown. My closing statements is I have been largely in the background for all of this. I haven't really talked to him at all, and I haven't "picked" a side. I do feel sympathy for the child as his innocence does not deserve this. I certainly don't hate my brother, and really blame both of them for this. She excused much of his lack of involvement in the relationship when it was so blatantly obvious to us he was never fully involved in his marriage. She was truly blinded by love. I suppose all of this is a good first look, I can share more if requested. | |||
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Are you still close to your in-laws even though marriage is dead?
I am wondering how many of you are still close to you inlaws?? After 17 years of marriage, I am still super close to my in laws and still do birthdays, holidays and week beach vacations with them. My ex is not close to his mom or siblings after all the horrendous selfish things he has done to everyone - especially his wife and child. His siblings have stopped calling him or inviting him to events and much rather have myself and daughter attend. Today was his moms 75th Birthday dinner and we were all there minus my stbxh. HE WAS NOT INVITED BY HIS SIBLINGS. How sad is that? Siblings said they do not invite him anymore because he talks to know one, is always late, sits in corner and just texts. These siblings were so close for years. We would host football Gator parties, swap kids, rotate dinner parties and vacation together and had a ball with the closeness. I find it sad that STBXH has strayed so much from his values. He LOVED his family and always had a great time with his 3 brothers and sister and loved that all the cousins were close. Now, no one talks to him and he just has his tramp to talk to who he cheated with. In-laws have told him they want nothing to do with her. Do not want to meet her and heard about all her criminal records and have no desire to have this person anywhere around their kids. Karma is a *****!! | |||
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Is guy falling for me?
A guy I hooked up with at a friend's party (we're in our mid20s) added me on two social networks afterward and followed me everywhere at the house party there. My friends hate him but he seems ok. Does he see me as a hookup or more, if he's trying to keep in touch? He nicknamed me Cleopatra and apparently thinks I'm attractive, though Lord knows why. I mean, he's Oxbridge, and I'm, well...not. | |||
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I sexually hate my wife!
Ok so I have been with my wife for 7 years. I have recently found out that she has lied about her past to me. Why? Damn it, I spilled my guts out to her about my past and she lied to me about hers 4 years ago. I even accepted the fact that she enjoyed her past lovers large ****s but to not tell me all the truth is a game changer. Recently found out she was a huge **** with her past and I have asked her to perform things with me that she said she had never done and would not do with me but I found pics, and videos that proved tougher wise. I confronted her hand she said she would do better. But as to date (3 months ago nothing has changed). WTF! I need help? Why did she lie I told her I would not and have to judged her I just want to experience with her all possibly sexual fun after all she is my wife is that too much to ask? Ready to start finding what I want and need outside our marriage! What do y'all think I should do? | |||
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I like a guy at work
I really like this guy at work his perfect for me. We did your induction together and we really got on but he doesn't work at the same time as me and when I see him we (rarely) we have a really nice chat and he seems interested but he could just be being friendly. The problem is that his 19/20 and could be leaving at the end of the month to go back to university and I'm 17 and his white and I'm black and I'm not sure if his interested in black girls. How do I find out if there is any possibilities of anything happening or how do I let him know I like him or how do I find out whether his attracted to me before he leaves to go uni? Any suggestions please xx Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
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Question time
Ok, so a few weeks ago I started a thread about my wife's pattern of infidelity. Other than our child and just the overall raw emotion involved (yes, there has been some hysterical bonding), I no longer have any desire to be with her. She came back from her little cheat-cation and said that she was still in love with me, but flip-flops on still being in love with the exbf that she left me for. The story: When we decided for her to go stay with my family in another state for a few weeks to clear our heads (Saturday), I discovered emails to and from this exbf who she has had a few EAs with (cutting it off and starting it back up later) in the past. I then created an online dating profile (Sunday). A few days later she admitted to me that she was taking our son and moving to Texas (she didn't know for how long) so that she could be with him (Wednesday). She came "home" earlier than planned (Friday) because he wouldn't be able to pick her up for several more weeksif she waited. That night I met this chick while at work. We made out and groped each other a little. I came home in the morning after my shift, and while we were waiting for him to show up, we talked and I told her about the girl. I also told her about making out with and groping a for-various-reasons-ex-friend on our wedding day which was only a couple months after her last EA with this same guy. He arrived and picked her up. She had sex with him that night (Saturday). Two days later she came home (Monday). She has now decided to be pissed off for what I did. The question: While I felt and feel bad about the friend on our wedding day, I do not feel bad about the online dating profile or the chick from the night before she left. Should I? Other thoughts? Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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Help !
I like a guy at work. How do I found out if he likes me ? | |||
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Would your parents stop you moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
My boyfriend and I are thinking of moving in together in the next couple of years as we are currently long-distance. Trouble is, because i'm pretty young, my mum would strongly object to the idea, I just know it :( Anyway, would your parents try to stop you if you wanted to move in with your partner justnow? Is it right for them to try to stop you, should they have a say or should it be up to you? What can you do to prove to them how committed to each other you are? | |||
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I'm a bit scared.. Girls help.
Ok so Im on the cerazette pill. Last night I had sex for the first time. The guy didn't use protection. I'm scared that I'm gonna get pregnant. I take my pill everyday but sometimes I don't manage to take it at the same time everyday? Am I just worrying about nothing? Also bcos I don't have periods on this pill how do I know if I have pregnancy symptoms? Posted from TSR Mobile | |||
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Mum doesn't approve of my boyfriend, i'm starting to resent her for it
My boyfriend is an amazing guy in my eyes, absolutely perfect. He couldn't treat me better or be a nicer person. However, he is stuck in a dead end job and comes from a rough, less well-off family. That doesn't bother me because I love him and I don't care about how much money he earns or what his social status is. It seems, however, to bother my mum. From what she says, I think she wishes I was dating some scientist or doctor or lawyer. She wishes he came from a more well-off family. Basically, mum's being really snobby about the whole thing and is judging him based on where he comes from and what he does. She has never taken the chance to get to know him properly and get to see how kind-hearted, loving, funny and, actually, clever, he is. It's really getting me down because as much as I love my mum, i'm starting to resent her because of her views towards my boyfriend. What should I do? :( | |||
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Should I end this now?
Hi, I have been seeing a guy for a few months now. We have a wonderful connection both in and out of bed and i know he loves me and wants to be with me. When we met the timing wasn't good. I had just recently ended my 26 year relationship and made it clear that I had plans to be on my own for a while. even knowing that he wants me to move in but I won't. lately I have seen some warning signs. He has been unhappy for a long time and tells me I am the best thing in his life. I feel from our conversations that he is placing a lot of pressure on us and on me to fix things. He is ex forces and I am sure he has had a lot of trauma from that and from his shaky upbringing - I know that he has gotten into fights before on a number of occasions. I didn't have a happy childhood but there was little to no violence and violence scares me. I think he has a drink problem. A couple of times now he has had too much to drink and tries to cause an argument - he questions me about what I have been doing and says things like you're going to leave me. Which makes me want to leave him. I was staying at his house on Friday night when he did this. I would have left there and then but was worried about his reaction while he was in a drunk state. The next morning I took my bag and left. He knows he has caused this and is desperately sorry and wants me to reconsider but I think I should end it. I love him but I am not strong enough to take this. I do have a tendency for self preservation but don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face. Any advice would be appreciated. | |||
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'Lad' Banter?
Would you say this is just lad banter? When guys are together (night out or at work etc) do they talk about women, about who's 'fit' and who they would sleep with etc? What about if the guy already has a girlfriend, girls would you find this concerning or just see it as lads having a bit of chat/ banter? | |||
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Gay
I am not Muslim, but my family is. I am an atheist, although this is not known as it would be a lot worse. I live in the UK, 19, On my gap - year not sure about University. Working at New Look, +Reasonable amount of cash saved up. Hello folks as the title suggests I am gay. I haven't physically opened my mouth and told anybody, but my parents saw my phone and my texts to my boyfriend..So basically they know. They were demanding to know who he is and where he lives but of course I haven't told them, they said they want to talk to him. lol. This was a week ago... I am Egyptian and they would never accept it. My mom is continually telling me if I am gay then I would have to leave her home, that I would be embarrassing her for the rest of her life, that I will have broken her heart, that I am disgusting, that I will never see them again, that I will have destroyed all their dreams (arranged marriage, being straight). Although she is continually telling me I am not gay but then saying she knows I am, and she really does know I am but she is trying to convince me I am not lol. I am not allowed to talk to anyone, well haven't been at least for this week and my mother has my phone. I don't know what to do I'm really depressed, cut a bit but didn't help. I am forbidden from talking to anyone, my boyfriend is scared for me and himself. Although I know my parents wouldn't honor kill me, but they may beat the crap out of me until that point. My mom keeps crying and making me feel bad I now feel bad for being gay. So I am very mixed up but of course I can't control it...So I haven't slept because as you can probably guess this is f*cking me up in my head I feel really bad for being gay. People are telling me to move out because I genuinely do have the means, but I feel bad whenever I think about that because my parents have cared for me and done so much for me from birth but I know they will never come round. And even if I tell them I am straight, get an arranged marriage and probably kill myself. In between they will never forgive me for this. Whenever I think about leaving I always see my mother crying in my head and it makes me feel very bad..But I can't stop crying myself so I don't know what to do really...My dad almost came very close to battering me the other day, but held himself back. He said he wanted to choose me a wife in the future (few years ahead) and that I had ruined that for him and I had embarrassed him now. I don't know how to feel, or If I am a bad person or not..even though I don't think I am :( | |||
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Take things further or keep my options open..?
Hey! I've been good friends with this girl from church for about 9 months now, and we'd like to take things a bit more seriously... As with most relationships, there're always complications: I'm in the year above her (I'm going into year 13) Her parents are pretty strict Should I go against what I kinda should believe in as a christian? The main problem is, I'll be off to university and she'll still be here... I mean, I wouldn't want to be "held back" as it were, by someone a year younger than me, to get with people at uni. SO Should I get with her properly, knowing I'll need to finish it by next september? Or Should I just friend-zone myself, but then not risk possibly losing her as a friend by this time next year?Also, (this goes out to the girls here) would you be alright being in a relationship with someone who's pretty much planning to end it? I know this might make me sound like a complete idiot, but it's been on my mind for months now and I kinda want some advice... Thanks in advance! | |||
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I feel like I'm really strange.
Hi, I'm an eighteen-year-old girl and I've never had a boyfriend. I prefer motorcycles, blues music and rugby over shopping and One Direction. I have good friends, but they don't really have the same interests as me. Am I really that strange? The fact that I have never dated someone makes me doubt myself pretty bad altough I pretend it doesn't. I know at least some of my family thinks I'm a lesbian, which I wouldn't have a problem with and did think about, but so far I've only really liked guys and I think I just don't feel that way about girls. Halp? Thanks. | |||
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I think I might be bi
Am a girl btw. Never even so much as kissed a girl, but I sometimes find other girls attractive in that way (I think) and "check them out..." Sometimes I think of what it would be like to have a girlfriend, but I'm not sure if I just want that "for fun" and "to try something out" or because I genuinely want one, or because I've had very bad experiences with men in the past and tend to get on better with women even as friends. I know my straight female friends pay a lot of attention to the way other girls look as well, though, so I'm honestly not sure if I'm bi or not? Am definitely attracted to men. I am also religious (Christian) and, whilst my family and community are fairly tolerant, I'm scared that letting them know (if I am bi) might lead to rumours being spread/becoming less accepted. Help. (Mods, please keep anon or delete). | |||
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frustrated
I am not sure what the problem really is. Maybe someone can tell me. I was married to my first husband and we had an awesome sex life. We were very much in love for 9 years and was High School sweet hearts. We had two children together and then later got divorce due to other issues. Well, after the divorce I had several men dating and tried having sex with certain ones and I could not get an orgasm. Then I meet my second husband and for 30 years of marriage and trying to get counseling/therapy. I still can't have n orgasm. I am so frustrated, but when I masturbate I can reach an orgasm. Please give me some feedback on this issue of mines.:confused: | |||
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Showering with your son/daughter
So my wife and I know a single mom and she has a 5 year old son. Very nice and polite kid to boot! So my wife had a conversation with her recently and she mentioned that she sometimes showers with her 5 year old. My wife mentioned it to me and we both thought it was a little strange. I jokingly said maybe she is conserving water and here that was the reason she gave my wife! I know she is a single mom and all but when do you draw the line with showering/bathing with your kids? Posted via Mobile Device | |||
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yet another thread....wife cheated with EA...devastated, help....
too much to go into all the details but wife had an EA....well there was kissing involved but no sex, not sure if thats still considered an EA or PA also....regardless I found out after it had been going on for a month, confronted her with hard facts (text messaging), initially she was in the fog and didnt want to stay with me and still remain in touch with him... in about a week she realized and gave in to reconciliation and went totally NC with the guy.... its been month and half now...she is really remorseful and shows total commitment to our marriage, she has done and is doing her part....the problem is me....I am having the hardest time dealing with the affair and the betrayal that am risking all at this point and am not sure if I can pull thru it all I havent done counseling because in the past it hasnt helped (for my depression years ago).....and i doubt it will help now...I know as soon as i leave the place I will go right back to where I started. i know time will ultimately heal...but i am not sure I can make it too much longer.... interested in others that have been here and pulled it thru or called it quits..... | |||
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What is wrong with my Husband
We have been married 21 years, we have had lots of problems and worked through them all, now I just don't know what is going on with him, he's moody for weeks at a time the only time he is kind is after we are intimate with each other and that will only last for a couple days at the most. I feel like the kids and I are walking on eggshells around him. He talks about how he works all day and wants to come home to a clean quiet home and WE are not helping to make this possible. He says I am not being a tough enough Mom to make the kids mind, I am not consistent with the kids, I am not a good parent, the kids do not respect me or love me and if they did they would do what their told to do. I start crying and try to defend myself but it becomes a huge argument and then he says that I am interrupting him and not letting him finish talking, so I am quiet while he continues then he wants me to apologize, he turns everything around to make me look like t he bad guy every time. Please Help!!! | |||
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