Bofriend falls out of love then wants to get back together?

Almost two months ago I felt like my boyfriend's behaviour towards me had changed - he seemed a lot less interested in talking and meeting up with me and would frequently snap at me and say horrible things. One day, in the midst of an argument and him saying I annoyed him I asked if he thought we should be together or if it would be better if we were just friends as we weren't as close and he said maybe just friends, so we 'broke up'. The next day he said he regretted it so much and we should get back - I told him we should think about it and he promised he'd show me it was a wrong decision.
Things were going back to normal, till a few days later (in a fight) he told me his feelings for me had changed and he fallen out of love with me. I was obviously very upset and didn't speak to him much the next day – when he said that not speaking to me made him realise he missed me and his feelings hadn't changed. Again, he promised to prove it and we went back to normal for a few days till we had a BIG argument and he once again said that he didn't love me on skype – I ended up crying as it really hurt me the way I'd really believed when he said he'd prove that he did feel the same, but he didn't seem to feel bad at all, he just wanted to leave (granted it was 3am in the morning, but still, I'd have expected him to care enough to try to make him feel better when I told him it was upsetting that he just wanted to leave when I was so upset).
He has since then claimed that all this was the biggest mistake ever and he loves me a lot – and is very affectionate as well to show this (for the past two weeks). Should I get back together with him or is it just a cycle doomed to repeat itself?

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Guys dont want a relationship?

Every time I go on a date with a guy they only want me for sex even if I dont dress revealing. When I met most of these guys for the first time they all seemed alright and once we went on dates they completely change and expect more out of me although we're not in a relationship. I don't what to do anymore

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Super nervous any tips?

I don't know where to put this so I just put it here.
Basically I have a uni presentation on Tuesday but I am incredibly nervous. I've done presentations in the past, and I've found that as soon as I stand in front of the audience that I begin to shake and my voice just goes squeaky and I get so nervous. :$
Any tips on how to get over this or at least calm down when I'm presenting?

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What does a spark in a relationship feel like?

Exactly what the title says :D

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Help Me Please

Its too long to write it out, so im going to just oversimplify it

A meets B
A and B get on really well
A and B begin to sext a lot
A and B talk all day and never get work done
A falls for B
A and B stop sexting for a while
A and B continue again
A wants to stop sexting and tells B that because its pointless and its not going anywhere
A tells B that she fell for B
B says it takes a while for B to fall
Eventually, B falls too
A and B both love what they have, its like they're perfect for each other
But, A can't be with B because A doesn't date and A's parents' would kill her if she did
Eventually, A and B decide to stay friends, but to stop sexting and to stop being soppy and to not talk all day

All of the above was online and I'm A :(

The part about me not dating is non-negotiable, unfortunately

B really cheers me up and without B, ive been feeling really sad and lonely and cant even get any work done, just sitting around moping

Any advice on how to help me get over B even, just cheer me up maybe?

:cry2:

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Why are girls all so gullible these days?

I have been with tons of girls but deep down despite me being outwardly friendly with them I have zero respect for any of them that were naive enough to get with me. I basically feigned commitment to these girls but I always dumped them after banging them a couple of times at least. Some girls need 1 date, some need 2 and others need 3 before they open their legs for you and others you can pick up at a bar and they need 0 dates and you just kick them out in the morning. The vast majority of my circle of friends and other men are also very similar to me. I know one guy that has been with his girlfriend for 5 years but he cheats on her regularly. How can women be so mentally deficient to not suss out our true intentions?

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How long should I wait?

Hi I've been with my girlfriend for a month and a half now. How long should we wait before sex, I believe this is both our first time, so should we have a talk about it before anything trying anything?

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Age difference between you and your SO?

Just out of interest, I wanted to find out the age gap between people and their SO. I'm currently infatuated with someone 17years my senior, so is age really just a number when it comes to love?

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What does it mean when the same guy keeps on making eye contact?

I noticed him five months ago when we bumped into each other but neither said a word. We just went on our way. A month after, I saw him again in a shop and he was staring at me intently. The friend I'm with witnessed this. He never took his eyes off me until I left.

This staring thing has been going on until now. He would make eye contact but never smile. Once, I tried to not break the eye contact to see if he will. He didn't until he walked past me.

Now his parents, especially his dad, and siblings, particularly his older brother, would stare whenever I'm around. I tried smiling at him but I couldn't since he looks so serious, a look you would find difficult to smile at.

I'm quite bothered and frustrated. Please help me make sense of this?

By the way, I'm 23. He's around the same age, I think. And we live in the same area.

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Husband contacted an escort service while on a business trip - need advice ASAP!

Hello,
I'm fairly new here and won't go into my whole situation, but if you'd like to read a bit of background on my multiple marital problems, please read my other posts in the general discussion area.

I need advice fast on this new development because my husband and I are headed to our second marriage counseling session tomorrow and I would like to know how to bring this up, if at all.

I looked at our shared cell phone usage today and saw that he texted and called an escort service while on a business trip this week. Specifically, last night at 3 a.m. There was one text sent by him, then three in response by the escort. Also a short phone call in response by my husband. He isn't home yet so I can't go through his phone to see what they wrote to each other, but I'm sure it really doesn't matter at this point.

I know the number is an escort service because I googled it and it was on an escort forum.

This is especially troubling to me because I have a higher sex drive than him and he has low testosterone and is on anti-depressants so he rarely wants to have sex. If he wanted to have sex -- he knows I'm very willing! And I'm not out of shape, take care of myself, believe I am attractive, etc. I also am not a prude and am very open sexually -- in the past we've tried many things together.

Should I confront him while at our counseling session tomorrow afternoon? Or should I do it in private?

I think if I do it in front of the therapist we will have a professional mediator, and I will have no choice but to remain calm and have help getting to the root of the problem(s). However, if I do, he may leave the session because he felt 'put on the spot.'

I also don't know if this matters but we don't have any kids, and have been married over 10 years. Oh, and I've NEVER cheated on him.

Thanks so much in advance for your input!

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Where to go from here

Found out 4 weeks ago that hubby is having an EA and has been for over a year. I suspected it, but did not have any evidence. I have since then found thousands of text messages/pics/videos. When confronted he admitted that it had been going on. The OW is also married. She does not live close to us, but he travels a great deal and is sometimes within a few hours of her on a monthly basis. I'm not sure if they've ever met in person. Besides the texts, pics and videos, he has also admitted to phoning sex hotlines.. I insisted that he end it and supposedly he has told her that it's over. I've not seen anymore evidence of texts..etc since earlier this month. Thought things were beginning to smooth out then yesterday found out he had paid Skype for a paid subscription ( we never use Skype).. I'm at a loss.. feel like an emotional train wreck..I figure he's planning on using Skype so it won't show up on our phone bill. Am I just being paranoid?

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Last Straw

Hello,

I wish my first post on this forum wasn't this. After reading through to many threads and topics I have a deep regret that I didn't take the time to seek out this sort of social outlet before.

About myself and my situation:

My wife and I have been married for almost 7 years this May, we met just a year before that. I have, for lack of a better word, shattered my marriage on multiple occasions for the very beginning. She came from a pretty modest Christian upbringing while I came from family that never attend nor practiced any
sort or religion.

Just a couple months into our marriage, pregnant with our second, I went out with some friends to a rave (never again) where I kissed another woman. I truly don't know why, my wife and I were still in our honeymoon phase and things were great. I think the attention given by some stranger made me feel special since I was never one to receive any sort of attention from women and it gave me an overly inflated ego to do what I wanted without consequences. During that night the girl told me to find her on Facebook. The next day I did that very thing, I gave up after a short while but not soon after that my wife was going through the history to find something she searched for that day and came across my history. I denied it initially until each it of truth slowly came to light. This set us up for a very rocky start to our marriage as you could probably guess.

Fast forward to Late 2012, we now have 3 children... I was laid off from my job a year prior and was unable to find steady, lucrative work to keep us afloat. My solution was to move us 1600 miles away from her family and to be closer to mine. Shortly after moving a dirty secret of mine emerged, I was looking at pornography and had been for years. Sometimes more frequently than others but it had always been there. This was something my wife was not ok with and I agreed with her that it was not good for our marriage (before anyone says that porn is ok in their marriage just work with me on this and agree that it's not for my situation). I swore to cut it out and we moved forward and pick up the pieces of our marriage.

Skip ahead 3-4 months (mid 2013)... My job requires a fair amount of social media usage to be successful at it, mainly Facebook. Due to my past and most recent acts of infidelity my wife is prone to check my web history. One thing she wasn't counting on was FB's calculated way of tracking pages and people you search. She came across pages that had been searched anywhere from 2-3 months ago or even days before. The damning thing to hurt our marriage was that I searched for old girlfriends (3 to be exact) to look at their pages. Why? I still don't know exactly why. I run it through my head a lot, even nearly a year later, maybe I wanted to compared myself with them, wanted to make sure I was the better man and they just lost out. Maybe I wanted to escape to a time when I felt I wasn't held to such a higher standard from a girl (pathetic, yes), my wife is an amazing woman and expects me to be a man and take on the role that I should (not an unreasonable request). To add insult t o her injury, I searched an old girlfriend of an old friend of mine. This girl was particularly mean to my wife during the short period of time she was around. She came across a news feed of mine (mutual friends with someone that I have since blocked) and curiosity set in. She's not super attractive but she took racy pictures which I took the time to search out. This also came out around the all of this happened. To solve this I agreed to see a therapist to what we saw as a porn addiction. I went to a few sessions but I was not making much money at my job and have to put a halt on them.

Time went by and things were good, I was staying away from porn. I didn't sneak a peek on any pages that I shouldn't be going to. Things were good. Still gluing the pieces back but it was getting somewhat better.

I fell of the wagon, so to speak, just before Thanksgiving this past year. While I was navigating through random pages on FB I lingered on one of those inappropriate FB pages that you'd hate to have your spouse have in their Like column. I didn't Like it but I clicked and it was saved in my history. About a week went by and I was confronted about it. I denied it at first as is my first line of defense (stupid, I know). After many tears and heartache I decided that it wasn't that I had an addiction to porn which drove me to do what I did. I had a lingering/lustful eye that got in the way of my marriage. I ended up seeking out self help books and my wife came across one called Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It pinpointed a majority of my issues and allowed me to address what was wrong with myself.

From Nov '12 to just a few days ago I was solid as a rock. No searching, no seeking, no checking out any women. I was committed to my family and and my marriage. I could write a book on why my wife is the best out there and how she deserves a good man but you already know that I contradict that thought by my actions.

So a couple days ago I searched for racy pictures of someone we've been watching on TV lately. To be honest, this person irritates, annoys and is downright despised by me because of how they act and conduct themselves. If I told you who, you would agree. This person made a sex tape and it's constantly brought up. My wife has watched it in the past just out of curiosity and the hype of the video and never watched it again. I made a promise to myself when she watched it that not only would I never watch it but that I wouldn't even know what she looked like naked which I was proud to puff up my chest about. My own curiosity set in and I looked up pictures of her to just to see myself what it was all about. No sexual gratification was down and it was search for and looked at for 90 seconds max on my smartphone. Well, I left phone at home today and my wife searched my history, she saw how I tried to hide it and it's bad now. I'm sleeping downstairs for the foreseeable future and s he made a promise that if this ever happened again we were done. We already made plans to move back home near her family a couple months ago so I believe her when she said she's separating when school's out for the kids.

That was a novel of a story and you probably don't know what I seeking yet. I guess I want to know what you would do if you were in my shoes. I want this marriage to work. She feels I'm doing this because I'm not able to just say I want a divorce. Divorce is the last thing I ever want. She's amazing and I strive to treat her as such but I keep messing up like this. I don't have male friends that I'm close to after moving. The closest person I have to a father figure is her father and I can't go to my in-law and tell him how I'm treating his daughter horribly AGAIN and expect unbiased advice.

Please asked away if you feel I may have left anything out.

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

He Wants to Get Back Together - Really?

I have my doubts......

1. The question of, 'what are we doing, are we getting D or are we going to try and work this out' came from ME. His answer being, 'yes, that's what I've wanted to do but didn't know how' surprised me. I always thought that if a man really wanted to get back with you he would tell you, ask what he needed to do to make it work, and tell you how much he misses you, etc etc. But I guess this isn't the movies

2. He started right out the gate with his manipulative tactics a couple days later. He needed something from my apartment and didn't want me to tell him not to stop by, so he lied about being 'close' and had me waiting for him for 30 minutes. I called him out on it, and I got the usual dubious look from him because he doesn't understand why I'm irritated over it. I told him it wasn't right, and he said we'd talk about it later. (uh huh.....)

3. The very NEXT DAY, I asked him to come over and watch a movie with me. I bought popcorn and even made a quick chili so we could eat. I told him 8:30. I actually, for once, was late myself because I got caught up talking to my trainer at the gym after class. I kept checking my phone to see if he'd text an 'I'm on my way' message. Nothing. I called him when I left around 9 and he said, 'Oh I'm still at the gym.' What could I say? I was late myself. It would've been nice if he was waiting for me but....ok.... I asked if he was leaving the gym now, he told me 15 minutes. I get home, and eat by myself. 10:30 rolls around and I finally call him. "I'm a Kroger." WTF are you doing at Kroger? "This guy sold me food stamps. So I just bought a bunch of food." ................. I'm so confused. You had to go now? "Yeah, I didn't want to risk waiting, what if they're not valid tomorrow or something like that." ........................................
I'm going to bed, don't bother coming over. "I'm sorry baby...damn.....we'll talk tomorrow ok?"

4. Next day. A big friendly good morning text. And some other random friendly texts here and there. I didn't know whether to be mad, or indifferent, or what. It didn't hurt as deep as it used to. I thought about it all day. Finally after work I decided to test him. I text him that he has to make it up to me. For the past two really crappy days. I'm expecting something amazing. I reiterating amazing. An entire day. Of amazing-ness. Let's see what he does. He lol'd and smiley faced and said he would. I left it at that. I'm not sure about the time frame for this though, he never said. So I'm going to let it be for now. I asked him if I was going to watch the movie by myself tonight, or if he wanted to hang out. He gave me one of his non-answers he's so famous for. And I did end up watching the movie by myself.

5. Next day (today). Not a word. No text message. No phone call. Nothing. I really didn't pay too much attention until after work and the gym. I got home and really realized it. I waited until about 10 p.m. and then called him...no answer. W...t.....f
I don't understand this game.

Pretty lonely night. This sucks. Not feeling so great about myself at the moment. I don't know whether to be pissed, to cry, to go to bed, to go the gym..... I'm just useless right now.

I don't think it should feel this way. My man should be crazy about me, to WANT to be with me. I think he has absolutely NO idea how to emotionally support another human being. He has no clue how to put someone else before himself and his needs. I don't understand how guys I'm meeting in my everyday life seem interested in me, to find me attractive and to WANT to take me out, and I cannot even get my H to make me feel wanted in almost any way. And I have really no freaking clue what happened today and tonight, it's actually pretty weird that he just disappeared. I can only imagine that he went out tonight....I guess? I mean...it didn't even take him a week from that conversation to show me that he hasn't changed sh*t.

Oh...but he's ok with the fact that I'm not a housewife that caters to him. He doesn't care about that anymore....
For those that don't already know that was one of his key points as to why we needed to separate.

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Is it true ALL men cheat...or at least want to?

My husband of 15 years is very honest...at least I think he is! Prior to getting married he slept with many woman....when we first got married we were intimate daily for about the first 5 years...then after starting a family things started to change

I typically do it all! Work full time, do everything around the house, tend to the kids. He works a physically demanding job, "used" to make more money than me, and felt that it was up to me to do it all since he was the larger bread winner. Well needless to say I resent that he does nothing to help me out, and when I get to bed Im out majority of the time.

He claims that he doesn't think he can e with just me for the rest of his life....that all men cheat...and he resents that he's the only friggin man on earth that tries to do the right thing and that its killing him. Really he hates woman....had a terrible upbringing and looks as woman as objects (except me). He says he wants to be physical with other woman...not emotional that he just wants other woman. He claims its unnatural for men to be with one woman physically! He loves porn, fantasizes all the time, and flirts constantly!...makes me crazy!

So is it true? I figured out that he joined a sex site for locals a couple of weeks ago and he immediately deleted the account and told me it popped up on a porn site and he just wanted to see what it was about....

Three days ago I found a text he sent to my nephews wife....very vulgar. Basically saying he thought she was a tease and to let him know when she wanted to play....she responded back that although she felt some chemistry with him...she never would and that he should delete the text before someone got hurt....well that someone was me because his dumb a.. Didnt delete the deletes!

So is it true...do all men cheat or think about cheating...I need a mans perspective! Do you think he could be a sex addict without cheating! He's blankly honest about everything so I believe him when he says he hasn't cheated...yet.... Does it sound like I'm a fool! Just don't know what to do...therapy....divorce....we have kids so I want to stick it out...but am I destined for failure?

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What do you think of this?

Quick summary:

- Ask girl out
- Girl says yes
- Text a few days later to confirm. She takes two days to text back.
- Ask if we should invite other friends to join us.
- I reply I wanted it to be just us. She never replies.
- I assume she isn't interest so decide to ignore it and continue as normal.
- However I see her 10 days later and she apologises and she (not me) asks if we can hangout together soon.
- We go I've skating that evening, great date.
- See her two days later in a group, both said we had a great time and I ask if she would like to do something soon.
-She says she had a final exam to prepare for (which was in 7 days), and wanted to get that out of the way, but after that we 'should so something again'.
- I text her the day after the examine asking if she wants to meet late morning for coffee.
- She replies; "Hey, soz but I'm already out in the morning. ;) Though we should meet up for coffee another time :)"


She is generally really busy, she is shy and inexperienced, plus she is French and goes back to Bordeaux in July. So maybe she's trying to work out what to do.

Do you think she wants to meet up?
Or maybe she just isn't in to me...but why say something quite definite like 'we should meet up another time'.

Whatever it is, I feel really strung along and not sure I can be bothered to try and arrange another day. Should I drop it and see if she makes a move?

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Guys: Would you date/marry a uni dropout?

I'm a 20-year-old dropout, though reapplying to do a different course (I can't see myself not going back to uni, though as a mature student this time). Honest answers would be helpful. :D

I started university early (at 17, I'm Scottish). I was doing Law with French at Leeds, but then dropped out before I was due to go on a year abroad last summer. I had resits but decided not to even turn up, as I wasn't happy at uni. I'm doing well now (started my own business in retail, which is what I want to do for a living anyway, and am earning quite a bit already), and am taking some more A-levels to make up for poor uni grades. I intend to apply to uni again (I got as far as being pooled at Cambridge the first time round!), but I won't start my second degree till I am 22 at the earliest, as I want to focus on my business for now. This means I won't graduate till I'm 25.

I'd been struggling with my degree since the first year; I did very well academically (A*AA) before uni despite having an abusive family, but my grades at uni were usually just scraping a 2:2 if I was lucky, usually in the 40s. It was hard at the start; I found it really hard to fit in due to my age (most of the people in my halls/course in first year wouldn't even talk to me once they found out I couldn't drink, and a lot of people were generally patronising and treated me like a kid), though ironically I did develop very good social skills and become "popular" after I turned 18. I was also depressed due to money issues (I didn't get much in student finance due to well-off but controlling parents who obviously wouldn't help, I got a part-time job but it only went so far), which meant I had to live in a cheap house in a really rough area in my second year. I also had to deal with my abusive family calling me constantly and stuff like covering the cost of staying at uni over t he holidays.

I also became pretty disillusioned with my choice of course and career; I started studying it mainly because I wanted to be a lawyer, but though I managed to get work experience despite my grades (through families of friends) I decided that it really wasn't for me. I still put the work in, of course, but I was finding it very hard to stay on top of things, which is why I chose to drop out and am going to reapply to do Business Studies which I have realised is my passion. I tried talking to my tutor etc. about transferring courses and so on, but the uni was really inflexible.

I feel better about dropping out, to be honest - I really didn't fit in at Leeds in a lot of ways - apart from the fact I am worried about what others will think. Only my old friends (at least the ones who are around my age) from uni know about it. I haven't told anyone else because I'm scared they'll judge me.

I'm also scared potential dating prospects (or even marriage ones, I'm Christian so am cool with getting married early and would rather settle down than sleep around :p) will be turned off, especially about the fact I was studying such a reputable subject at such a reputable uni, and chose to leave anyway. To be honest, part of the reason I hung around doing that for so long was because my degree felt like part of my identity. From my experience, Christian guys can be really judgemental anyway which worries me.

On paper, apart from my lack of a degree, I'm doing fine. My career is going very well (I'd rather not say how much I've made from my business but it's a lot, I am working on it with two friends from my old uni), I'm no longer in contact with my family, and my social life is actually going better now that I'm out of uni. I'm fairly physically attractive (and stereotypically feminine/girly/old-fashioned in the way I dress, talk etc.) and loads of guys do hit on me, but I'm always scared to open up to them as I'm worried they'll really judge me for dropping out of uni. I mean, pretty much everyone has a degree nowadays - I can just imagine going home to meet some guy's family and them all judging me because I dropped out.

Tl:dr - started doing Law at uni, dropped out as wasn't for me, am fine otherwise but will guys still date/marry me? (Am reapplying to do another degree, but will be a mature student then argh :K)

I feel like a grown-up without a degree :(

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girl cancelled date, should I try again?

Hi, I met this girl last week when I was out with friends. She approached me and just flat out told me she thought I was gorgeous and gave me her number and we planned to go out for drinks a few nights ago. She cancelled a few hours before we were meant to meet and didn't offer another time. I haven't texted her back because I thought she's probably not interested any more, so wanted to see if she got in touch with me. But it turns out I will be working over at her campus next week. is it worth texting her asking to meet up while im there considering I'll be there anyway so it won't affect me if she says no?

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Do I tell her?

So I'm in first year at university and I'm good friends with this girl who I have slowly been falling for. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend and while I was previously able to suppress my emotions most of the time, the past week things have taken a huge turn for the worse and I have been unable to stop thinking about her to the point where it is having a significant impact on my studying.

I recognize now that the best way to move forward would be to distance myself from her as much as possible. However, before doing so, I want to come clean to her about how I feel. I feel that this would help give me a sense of closure and would save me from having to explain why I don't hang out with her anymore.

But would that be fair towards her? Telling her obviously has the potential to put her in a very uncomfortable position and I am wondering if instead I should try and come up with some other excuse.

Any advice?

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Started seeing a girl...now on medication.

Started seeing a girl about well basically valentines day. I've known her as a friend of sorts for the past 2 years but she only told me she likes me a couple days before V Day. I've also liked her for awhile.

Normally I have a very chilled out, relaxed persona towards pretty much everything however I got diagnosed with epilepsy the other day and have been put on a 6 month treatment.

The pills are making me very agitated and snappish (this is normal for this kind of treatment) and my moods can flip between very agitated to pissed off to normal to whatever. It's only the first week so hopefully I'll get used to them.

However I'm worried the mood swings will scare her away or I'll just insult her/treat her like **** when it's not how I want to.

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Women of TSR: A guide to men and confidence

Yes... I thought I'd write the part 2, as it's only fair to men as it takes two to form a relationship, therefore the man isn't just the only one to blame. There was a thread aimed at men so here is one aimed at women. I know it's all opinion, so I'm open to criticism lol

Spoiler:

Show

1) Give him a chance! Men are a diverse group of people who you can't judge in one second


Believe it or not men don't have all the same personalities! There are men with a more reserved personality and there are men who are more extroverted.
You will meet men who like football, men who don't like football, but like F1 and even men who don't like sport but like comic books and photography even more! Some guys even like rock-climbing, martial arts, gardening and even fashion! You're even going to meet men who are closet Bronies! We definitely don't have the same set of beliefs or hobbies. We aren't all the same. You have no idea what men are thinking.

Spoiler:

Show

2) Take action and stop waiting for him to come to you. Say something.


We're in 2014. Times have changed. We live in the age of the internet and society moves faster. The old belief that 'men initiate and women respond' isn't compatible with today. To keep this short and to the point: if you don't take action and say something then you will miss put on a lot of things in life. Us guys are expected to read hints and signs of interest. You can't just rely on these. There's nothing wrong with saying what 'you' want! Be confident! Don't be scared! He can either say yes or no.


Also make some effort. Don't just leave the guy to lead and expect him to do all the work. An example being: So many women also on dating sites just state: 'if you wanna know anything ask me'. That's just lazy. These women don't deserve men to approach them. Effort should be on both sides. The guy will just give up and move on. Some guys like a challenge though (Pepe Le Pew types who love the chase).

Spoiler:

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3) Stop believing that love is like a Disney movie. Don't hold onto the image of your ideal man.


So many women I meet want fireworks and for the dating process to be like they see in movies, music videos or read in books. They want someone as exciting and as adventurous as they see if films. They are chasing and looking for a man who doesn't exist. The perfect man only exists in Disney movies. Every girl wants an Aladdin - A perky accessible guy, with a loving, but a rugged bad-boy side who drags you into different worlds and into a fun adventure, getting you in trouble, but he always gets you out and you'll always get home in one piece and live happily ever after. That guy doesn't exist.
What the movies and books don't tell you is that there are a lot of sh*tty people in this world no matter what they look like, and finding just one person you genuinely like and get along with isn't a common feat.
The problem with men and women is that we are always after something better. The danger of looking for an image of an ideal man is that you miss chances. You are just focussing on your target and nothing else. You could have been with someone who you genuinely like spending time with, who inspired you, respected you and made you smile. If you are so consumed by the pursuit of the ideal man, you don't appreciate what some the men you come across are offering. When you meet do meet men who look as you want and appear to have the personality and life you want, you have little in common with them and are incompatible with you. Be open and give people a chance (providing they aren't rude dickheads)


This brings me onto:

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4) Stop the feeling of entitlement


Women have better support networks than men do, but this can sometimes backfire on women. Some people just aren't honest. You need to be honest with yourself when evaluating your bad points and attempt to improve on them. Women in my experience will often try to be best friends to each other and emphasise the solution of 'waiting', backed up with the statement of 'You deserve this, you're so great! You're such a good catch! Any man would be lucky!' Many women use the Marilyn quote:


"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."


To be fair why the hell should any decent man have to put up with your ****? I feel like girls are using it as an excuse to be bitches. Sure, we all have our flaws. I don't believe you should beat yourself up over those flaws. I don't believe your man should beat you up over those flaws (literally and figuratively). But I also believe you don't get to go around acting like an inconsiderate jerk all the time and expect men to just deal with it because as far as you're concerned, they're lucky just to be with you. What if guys behaved like this? Sometimes they do, and you're either a fool for staying or you kick them to the curb. Everyone knows that. Dude has every right to give you get you out of his life if you can't keep your not so endearing qualities under control.

I can also argue that Marilyn Monroe was a bad role model, but that's another topic.

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How should I respond to rejection from a friend?

So tonight I am going to ask a girl out on a date. This will be face to face, not a text or facebook (lol). However I am not sure if she likes me more than a friend. The signs are there but its still unclear to me. But I want to give it a shot! My friends say go for it.

Anyway, how should i respond if she says no to me? I dont want to be rude or be a jerk and i definitely wouldn't mind staying friends with her. So what should i say and do to avoid us being awkward together? I definitely dont want her to ignore me

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Should I leave my boyfriend for university?

Well I'm 17, lower sixth right now doing English lit, Politics and History. I'm predicted A's in all 3 and believe I could achieve at an A* in politics or history if I really put my head to it. I live in NOrthern Ireland and want to do law. Queens is obviously a big option of mine, but I've also been considering moving away to England. I'd love to attend Newcastle, Nottingham or maybe even Glasgow in Scotland.

Problem is I've been with my boyfriend for two years, been together since we were 15. I know we're young etc, but two years in and still going strong means something to me. Anyway, where as I want to go away and experience uni life away from home, he wants to stay here and go to Queens. We've discussed it slightly and he seems serious about it and doesn't want to move away to study. Even though he doesn't want to live here, he just wants to study here then move away. I also want to get out of here, but as soon as possible so I see going away for uni as my opportunity for that. But he seems adamant on studying here first. He's supported me and said if I want to go he will support me if it's what I want, but that he wants to stay here. I have no problem staying here to study, but I don't know I just want a change. I'd be happy here, but I just want the experience of movin away and would love for him to do the same.

What should I do? Queens is an amazing uni, so it wouldn't disadvantage me going there. But when it comes down to it, should I try to persuade him to consider moving away and applying to Newcastle etc with me? He's considering doing criminology.

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Is this girl a slut?

Age 16
Slept with 1 boy, her 18 year old boyfriend
Kissed/"made out" with 9 or 10 boys
Had 3 boyfriends
Done other stuff eg. fingering with 3 boys, 2 of whom were boyfriends

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Unsure about my feelings

My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a bit years, and now I'm just not sure I feel the same way about him. We were long distance the first year, and the best part of this academic year and the last couple times we've seen each other, things have seemed quite strained and awkward.

I was suffering from anxiety and depression when we first got together, and whilst I've been getting better, I've become a lot more sociable and changed a bit, I suppose, whilst he's still happy to keep to himself. I wouldn't even know what to try and do in terms of fixing our relationship, I don't really know what changed. I still like him, I'm just not sure I still love him.

It feels horribly selfish to be considering breaking up with him though - he really is a good guy. Is it selfish, or would it be better for us both? Sorry if this is a bit incoherent, my head's all over the place about it.

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