He said "you got your wish"

Well no he is wrong, I only got part of my wish. Yes I wished she would go back to her husband, but I also want the chance to work on my marriage.
See some people won't understand that, but I KNOW the man that came before this mid life crisis and affair. I know the character of this man before this happened. No I am in no way excusing his horrible betrayal and choice, but I know who he really is.
He called me last night to let me know that his skank is going back to her husband. He didn't know that the whole time this past month that he was playing with her, that every time he left she was playing with her husband. My foolish husband bought her a bed for her apartment, and I got the pleasure of letting him know that I knew what kind of bed it was because her husband had been in it with her. I also had to tell him that she told her husband humiliating things about mine sexually. Something he knows beyond a doubt could not be made up.
So right now he is mad at me because he lost his toy. Right now he says he knows our marriage Is completely done. Maybe it is, but he hasn't had to face the reality of his choice yet. See with his work he had been staying in hotels every night since he left. For this work trip he chose to take our camper to stay in. The camper that we spent vacations and romantic weekends in. The camper that we have loved each other in. Now he has to do this by himself without any noise from me or his skank.
He will be living in it for the next 8 weeks. Sleeping in the bed we shared together. On the blankets and pillows we used. Maybe it really won't effect him. But if there is any part of the man that I have know for the past 16 years left in him, then I think it will. Does that mean our marriage can be fixed? I don't know, but all I ever wanted was a chance.....a chance to fix something that I didn't know was broken.
This will be a LONG 8 weeks because I will not initiate any contact with him that is not bill related. He needs to realize what all he is giving up. Because here is one REAL truth. I am no where near perfect, but I have been a VERY good wife.
Thank you all for continuing to help me through the most painful and difficult time of my life.

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How do I ignore this girl?

I've been "friends" with this girl for a while, but ever since this school year started, she's suddenly being pessimistic all the time. She hates on everything I like, and is always trying to bring me down. Whenever I talk to my other friends, she gets pissed. And she says we're not friends but "friendly acquaintances", which is sort of childish.

So yesterday, I talked to one of my really good friends the entire lunch, and this girl literally asked her friend(we are working together) if she could sit next to my enemy. Then, when I asked her if she was mad at me later that day, she said "No. God, you're so annoying. I'm allowed to sit with who I want."


But today, another girl at my work place told me that this girl was ranting about me to everyone and gossiping about me after lunch, so she was mad at me and she lied.

Anyways, I'm trying to ignore her, but I don't know what she's saying about me to everyone. I literally feel like all my friends are looking at me differently. We've been "friends" for a long time, and I ALWAYS am the one to apologize even if it's her fault. I have another girl on my side, but it's still hard to ignore someone you considered one of your best friends.

Main question: How do I ignore this girl and stop caring? I know it's a weird question, but I want to know how to move on. I ALWAYS am the one to apologize and go back to her. All the other lunch tables are too crowded to, and I'm so lost on what to do. I want to finally stop talk to her.

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the need of friendship in a relationship

Friendship is a purposeful act that occurs through an emotional and psychological connection, linking two person's together.
Friendship is the beginning of a relationship; the key to a healthy relationship is the purposeful development of a healthy friendship, friendship is something that starts before the relationship and continues with the relationship as you both travel the road. Friendship is not something that you just meet or have just like that in a relationship, it takes time to build but last a life-time when built on a solid ground.
Friendship is among those things you carry into your relationship, because friendship is not being formed in a relationship but you form it outside the relationship and bring it in when coming into the relationship.
This way you hear partners complaining about the lack of friendship in their relationships both married and the unmarried relationships, the reason why they lack this important element is because both partners did not take time to build the friendship when they first met, in which they will be able to carry it into the relationship they are about to start and this is why you see partners that are not best friends to each other because they were unable to build it at the start of the relationship, and if you look at this kind of relationship they hardly know what their partners really want, they are like strangers to each other and before you know it the relationship is in the past because is not the lack of love that breaks a relationship but the lack of friendship.
Friendship is a powerful way of familiarizing with you partner in a relationship or before the relationship, the rewording things about friendship before relationship or as you move on with friendship in your relationships are
- Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
- Boost your happiness
- Reduce stress
- Improve your self-worth
- Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise.
- Improve your perceptions of self and others
- If you and your spouse are friends, then you have something with which you can rely and communicate the deepest of your desires.
- Couples who are good or best-friends, have a greater chance of proving lifelong partners.
- An intimate friendship is a friendship based on loyalty, trust, perseverance and steadfastness.
- True friendship is based on the principle of the unconditional: it is an unrestricted state that does not waver or vary. It is the sort of state that offers unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional approval, unconditional forgiveness, and unconditional trust. This is why any relationship built on a solid friendship last for a life-time, so I encourage you if you are in a relationship now always be your partners best friend, and if you are yet to enter you have the greatest advantage now to first build up your friendship with the person, because the establishment of friendship in any relationship is the success of it.:)

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Stonewall is tapping out!

No not leaving TAM!

After a 32 year long exciting fun filled career of rolling around in ditches in blood and guts. I have had enough, Its a young mans game so 4/3 will be my final day in uniform. I will take a couple of weeks off and start my new job. On one hand I am happy to let it go now. On the other hand is a sadness that I cant quite explain.

I leave knowing I was damn good at what I did and hoping I made a mark in the world and a difference in the lives of a few! They insist on a party but I really would just like to fade out.

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Not following lead or suggestions during sex

I've been married 10 years in July. My husband and I got married young (18) and have only been with each other. Sex has almost always been an issue with us.


So issue #1 is that when we're in bed during foreplay sometimes I let him know what I would like him to do. He almost always ignores it or makes an excuse why he can't etc. Example. Tonight he initiated with me (after a bad turn yesterday where we didn't have sex after all) and things were going wonderfully. He started touching me and I had said it was too dry which doesn't feel good. His response is just to stop doing what he's doing, which isn't what I wanted at all. We've gone around and around about this and I've explained that if I say it's too dry that means come up with a way to make it not dry. We can all use our imaginations there. So I tried not letting myself get totally turned off but after 3-4 attempts of me letting him know it wasn't feeling good and I needed some lubricant he just mentions that we were out of store bought lubricant and doesn't move forward with anything else. So I calmly and tried to tactfully say that I was frustrated and he started yelling at me. Not like SCREAMING but he raised his voice and it really upset me. I explained that yelling at me doesn't turn me on and I started crying. I was upset and said Please stop yelling at me and he went on to say that it's all me and that I have a mental or emotional block when it comes to sex and that subconsciously I'm trying to push him away. :scratchhead: what? Seriously that's not the case. Not a bit. It simply didn't feel good and I'm trying to calmly and nicely explain that and he often gets very frustrated and starts hurling insults that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. And of course once that happens it's irreparable and I'm NOT in the mood.

I'm a very sexually in tune person. I know what I like and I am pretty open to trying new things. I have a normal to high sex drive and would love to have sex probably every day if he was putting effort in. And by effort I feel like that's just normal mutual foreplay etc. I don't have problems having an orgasm or having a really fun time during sex. So in essence I don't feel like this is me...it's him. Or am I totally off about this?

I guess I'm looking for an outside opinion about this. Am I being unreasonable? I want to have sex and lots of it. It recharges me, but I'm also not going to have sex when it's not feeling good and I personally think there is something wrong when I make suggestions about my own body and am met with such resistance. I guess since we've never had sex with other people that I'm searching for answers. Is it like this for other people? My gut says no and it really makes me sad. I've worked really hard for a while to try and address areas that aren't good, I want them to be good. I just feel like I'm the only one who can stick to the issue at hand and not start talking about other problems or things that happened like 5-6 years ago.

Another issue that we've had over the years is that when we're having sex I like him to be the more dominating one. I like feeling pursued, attractive and that he wants me. But most of the time I feel like he doesn't initiate, so I have to if I want to have sex. I don't mind doing that but it's all the time. We have three kids and after constantly giving to them and taking care of my husband (laundry, food, etc.) I want to feel taken care of and appreciated.

I just don't know what to do. When he does things I love I point it out and say so. I try and encourage him and I even tell him often that if I'm moaning that probably means I'm enjoying it and if not it should be a queue to try something else. Seriously, I feel like our entire sexual encounter needs to have a direction book or something. Am I wrong to expect that if I'm giving hints and tips for years (consistent ones too) that he might remember them? His excuse is constantly that I'm inconsistent and when I ask him to tell me where I've been consistent he gets angry and says he's not doing that. Because he often throws out a statement like that and refuses to or can't back it up.

I've even mentioned to him times early on in our sexual relationship where he gently told me something didn't feel good when it was too dry for him and I think since those early days I've always been careful to make sure he's comfortable.

I'm just not sure what else to do other than try and talk about it, but it always gets heated, no matter how hard I try to keep it calm. I just don't understand what is so hard about this?

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I made a big mistake tonight.

I made a big mistake...tonight.

My husband (as posted in another thread) stays home most of time with our child, who is 8.

My husband has a passive aggressive personality. Very sarcastic. My child is picking it up. For example, my husband will
call me (on speaker phone) and tell me the couch got ruined or my favorite dress got screwed up at the cleaners. I now know
never to believe him because it's typically a joke. Ha ha...gotcha kinda stuff. But never said with humor.

Well, tonight my mother was visiting and my DH's Father...for my child's first communion tomorrow.
I told them at dinner that I didn't have to work on Monday because I took the day off to be just with child.

Child looked down and said "no thanks." ...I thought they were joking, like DH. So I said "come on..you know I'm excited for Monday and I know you are too!"
Child said "nope, Daddy got a sitter". I said "right...right..." I know you are joking. I said "Sweetie that really hurt my feelings". Child just shrugged their shoulders and ignored me. (as my DH often does)

But my mother looked at me as if my child was serious...and she already thinks I'm nuts because I'm the breadwinner.

I snapped and said.."Mom...Child is just playing games ...like dad with his passive aggressive sarcasm."

I knew when I said it ..I made a horrible mistake. I said "I'm sorry...I didn't mean that"...and everyone changed the subject.

I told my husband aside and apologized and told him I was sorry, but that our child embarrassed me in front of my mother and I lashed out and I was wrong.
I said ..."but our child should not be doing that ...and that shouldn't be something that child is consistently exposed to."

My DH said "yes ma'am" and that was it...and coldly walked away.

I am not back at work and can't stop crying. I feel like my child is now turning into a terror. My DH doesn't care and my mother and father in law think I'm not loved by my own child. Now he's texting me complaining about how my Mom is on the computer instead of playing with our child.

Am I overreacting? I just don't know if I"ve ever felt so low...knowing how awful my marriage is...and how bad my child was acting. And most of all...I feel terrible for being "that" person..and lashing out.

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Girls...help please

Hi Everyone, just wanting to hear from some of the ladies out there who were involved in affairs and who ended up back with their partners.

What was the course of events...how did it happen? What is the affair fog? Was the grass greener on the otherside? Did any of you actually sell up, get divorced and then reconsile?

Would really appreciate your feedback and input.

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Girl at work- rejection

I really like this girl at work and for 2 months now have fallen for her, all the signs have been there that she likes me, we flirt alot, there is alot of cussing each other all the time, and the is always tension between us when we are together, and it has been noticed by other work colleagues. I asked her out on a date 2 times now and the answer was no, and im dealing with rejection, which was 2 weeks ago, i have come back from holiday and the flirting has started since i got back, am i being taken for a ride or does she like me?


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Confused

Can anybody tell me is a score of 95 percentile good, bad or average. I can't figure out what it means??

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GIRLS - What kind of guy would you NOT date?

Personality wise

:confused:

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Girl I like but she doesn't respond to me

In school secondary school there was this girl i liked so much but i was always too scared to talk to her because i was shy.; and i failed to talk to her for the rest of my time there even after i left. In the school holidays of last year i tried to talk to her on facebook but she totally blanked me. But somehow i had a personal change and my confidence went uploads and was able to have conversations with people i haven't known before and stuff. Im not sure whether i should try start a conversation with her again or do you think she'll just respond i the sameway.

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Have you ever had a crush on someone of the sex you're not attracted to?

Just wondering how common this is. If you identify as straight, have you ever had a crush/felt attracted to/fell in love with someone of the same sex? If you're gay then have you ever had a crush on the opposite gender?

It's freaking me out because I thought I was gay (I'm a girl) yet I think I have a crush on this guy.

If so, what happened? Did you act on it? Did you ignore it and it never happened again? Does it mean you're actually bisexual?

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I don't know if I Like him...

This sounds like a really rubbish post but I'm really confused over whether I like him as a friend or more. Anyway, we go to the same club after school and when I'm not in his group I feel really diassapointed and I always want to sit next to him there. Also we go to the same school but he's the year below me so we don't talk much there but whenever I see him with another girl I feel really jealous, and I find myself wondering if he has a girlfriend like all the time. And sometimes when I think about him my heart gets a little faster. Also today he touched my leg with his and it made me feel all happy rather than awkward like I do when other people touch me... Please help me. I'm so confused! Thanks!

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Recommended for you

Divorce or Not? Any Recommendations For Discerment Counseling for a Couple

Definition of Discernment Counseling:
Counseling for Couples: Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling is short term, and the focus is not on solving marital problems but on seeing if they could potentially be solved.

Unlike traditional marriage counseling that assumes that both people are willing to work on the marriage, discernment counseling helps people decide whether to work on their marriage or keep moving towards divorce. Unlike individual counseling that usually takes one person's side, the discernment counselor works to understand both partners, even if they see things very differently.


My wife and I are both good people, but we have reached a fork in the road of our marriage. She is 45 and I am 49. We are both well educated and it's a first marriage for both of us. We have no children, by choice. We have been married for 9 1/2 years and we dated for 2years before we got married.

The time of our courtship and the first 7 years of our marriage were wonderful. I think we were both very much in love when we walked down the isle and we had a great friendship in addition to a marriage. During the last 2-3 years, things slowly have started deteriorating. I believe that one of the main reasons is because I'm extroverted and she is introverted. She has trouble expressing her feelings and I get frustrated from a lack of communication. Of course, there is so much more to tell, but to sum up. We have both honored all of our wedding vows and there has never been any infidelity, violence, or drug abuse on either of our parts. We have argued more in the last 6 months than the whole time before that.

She has become very aggressive for many reasons - work, family, aging - and I am sure other reasons which I am not aware about. I know we all can have issues, but she does not think anything is wrong with her. I am simply exhausted from all of her anger and my feelings of trust and love have really been eroded. She just has no ability to be vulnerable with me (or anyone from what I see). She swears she has not had an affair and I believe her (if she has, then we will part ways). I can no longer tolerate this level of negative emotion in my own home and my marriage. I would rather call it quits than to stay in this downward angry spiral . She has agreed to go with me to see a counselor for discernment therapy which is a specialized counseling aimed at deciding if you should stay together and work on the marriage or part ways.

Honestly, she is a good person and it would be wonderful if we could get our relationship back into the "loving" zone. If we can not, then I accept that and, though I will grieve, I want to simply divide up our marital assets fairly and part from the relationship as soon as possible. The level of anger is toxic to me and I feel myself becoming someone I have no desire to be. I already am in individual and group counseling on my own and I feel like I have a pretty good handle on my own emotions.

I was wondering if you have any advice for someone in my position going into discernment counseling? I think the best advice I have received so far is to simply ask two questions: 1) are you 100% committed to making the relationship work and 2) are you willing to accept responsibility for making it work. I think if both parties can say "yes" to these two questions, there might be a good chance at reconciliation.

Thanks so much for any advice or counsel that you may have to offer me regarding this very difficult situation.

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Did a SERIOUSLY terrible mistake, currently sobbing help?

Anon for obvious reasons. I know this was extremely stupid but i'm a girl and went topless for a guy on omegle. Just turned 18 last week. I know it was extremely stupid so please don't tell me more as I will never do it again. What's the chances of being recorded? My face was out of the camera and I took my top off and a minute later, I realised how stupid I was being so turned the webcam off straight away. I'm completely disgusted with myself and will never do it again. Will it have been recorded and put online? I'm currently sobbing in my room because I'm so worried. I was lonely and sad as my boyfriend dumped me earlier, it was a moment of madness. Please help :(

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Want to feel sexy again.

I've been married for 4 years and we dated for 3 years. The first 2.5 years of dating, we had an amazing sex life. I felt very sexy. He enjoyed watching me masturbate and I would even make videos of myself and we would have sex while he would be watching the video. We had sex at least once a day, often more.

Eventually the amount of sex died down. I started noticing that it was always me that was the "initiator". I always and still do to this day, tell him that my fantasy is for him to be the "dominant" one, I want him to just grab me and decide its time to have sex. Like sling me around and be the one in control. Every time I bring that up, he says he doesnt want to have sex with me if i dont want it. But I always tell him that even if I wasnt in the mood, that if he did that then I would be in the mood.

Back to the main topic, even before we got married our sex life drastically dropped. We used to joke that before we got married we would not have sex for one month prior to wedding so on our honeymoon we would want it really bad. Back in the day, that seemed impossible! But by the time we did get married, we were already not having sex months at a time.

So, now, in the present state. We have sex about once a month. I am in my 20's, I'm a runner and I know that men find me sexy. If i wear skimpy or sexy clothes around the house, my husband doesn't even care. The only way these days to turn him on is by oral. When sex is initiated, he just lays on his back and asks me to give him oral so he can be "ready". I just wish that he was turned on just by looking at me. Or by me masturbating, (which he doesn't like if i do that anymore). Or by him initiating foreplay on me. I just want to feel sexy again. In a selfish way I feel like my body is being "wasted". I would do anything with this man sexually and he doesn't even want it.

I do talk to him about it. I tell him that because he doesn't touch me that it makes me feel like he thinks im gross or unattractive. I tell him that I feel like i initiate everything and I tell him that I wish he would do more with me. I really miss the kissing, caressing, rubbing .... so frustrated!! I do all that for him! I know he likes it when I pay attention to him in such detail but why cant i get that back in return? Need help!!

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Unhappy Marriage Letter

Ive finally gotten the courage to write a letter to my husband about how unhappy I am, we have been with each other since highschool, im now 30 and we married three years ago, we have a seven year old son. How do I give him the letter, any advise would be really really helpful

Heres my letter:

Please understand I do love you, as i write this i feel relief and sadness. Relief that i can express what's been kept inside and sadness because i know that you seeing this will hurt you. I want things to get better, i want to be your wife and your friend and I want to feel like I'm as important as everything else in your life.

And thats what has happened, there's your life and my life but no "our life" we share a house, a child and a piece of paper.

i have been feeling like this for a long time and at first i kept thinking it was the stress at my job/your job, or having had and raising a child or life being busy in general but the fact is that its none of the above,

I have shut down emotionally to you, the issues we have had in the years we have been together have caused me to not care, because it hurt when i did care, it hurt when you would leave on the weekend (and its almost every weekend) to do your things and not include me or our son, it hurt when you would not attend things with me or show any interest in my hobbies , it hurt when you never planned anything with just me it's like we were the alternative if you couldn't do anything else, and it broke a piece of me when i found out that you were looking for sex outside of us.

So i stopped caring and its led to me being seen as "a man" or an "ice queen", i made me this way in order to protect my sanity and well being. I remember when i wasn't like this and I know that my cold indifference seems to be how i am, but it's not how i want to be, turning off what i feel is easier that being hurt.

i want to have what we had before and i don't know how to get that back.

Our sex life is almost nonexistent, and i take most of the blame for that i don't feel intimate with you, and im resentful when you initiate sex because it seems like your only interested and give me attention when you want sex,

I have wanted to talk to you before but because i prioritise everything else and was unrealistic to hope things would just get better by themselves, but the truth is they haven't and wont until we can talk about it.

I don't even know if you feel the same way, and I should know right? I mean we have been together for so long i don't even know when this first started....

But this is how it is.

I feel resentment, anger and despair, i hate that i am feeling vulnerable and it makes me feel weak.

We have talked so many times about what feels like the same things and it gets better for a while then it goes back to how it used to be.

I feel guilty that i am unhappy, i know you are trying your best to provide and that you need timeout too, why can't timeout be with us.

So i want to know if you feel the same....What are we going to do.

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Need Opinion: Husband filed for Divorce

Hi there,
My husband filed for divorce last summer. As of today I still do not have a copy of my divorce papers. I signed my letter of acknowledgement for the divorce so I know he did truly file. I asked for my papers several times from my husband but he never gives them to me. I'm really confused. Does he really want this divorce? Please help!:scratchhead:

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Memories best forgotten

While going through hurtin_still's thread I remembered a childhood friend who isn't with us anymore. The similarity is remarkable.

Both our families knew each other and so we were introduced to each other when we were toddlers. We went to the same school and were thick-as-thieves getting into trouble whenever we were together. When we were about 12 years old, I remember him having difficulty speaking, his speech slurring like he was drunk. A year later he was diagnosed with ALS. His dad consulted a lot of doctors and found out ALS is genetic. Since no other member in the family had ever been diagnosed with such a condition, his dad got a DNA test done. The results were negative. His mom never said who his biological father was. He passed away on his 17th bday. I was at his bedside.

Till date no one knows the truth. His dad D'ed and remarried, his brothers haven't spoken to their mom till now. She had a string of bfs after her D but now she is completely alone. She is still protecting the OM.

It's not something I wanted to remember. It makes me lose faith in humanity.

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Any ladies had the Novasure procedure?

Î had the Novasure procedure done 6 1/2 weeks ago because of heavy periods.

I have had 2 periods since and they have both been as heavy as before. I have had continual bleeding/discharge since the procedure. I was told no sex until the discharge stops, so there's been no sex since the procedure.

My follow up appointment is at the end of May.

I was told if Novasure didn't work it would be repeated and if it still didn't work I would have a hysterectomy.

My question is have any other ladies had a failed Novasure and if so what did you do?

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I've never had a great sex drive, & it's even less after...

Hi all, this is my first post on the first night I joined this site. I've read through several threads & everyone seems to be sincere in the advice they give, and I could certainly use some advice.

I'll start with the biggest problem right now. My husband wants to be my submissive. He swears I am dominant and that I MUST have a sadistic streak in me somewhere. I don't. I never have. I can be manipulative, just like any woman can, but never, ever do I want to cause physical pain.

Well, I have tried my best to be what he needs. We have toys, some used, some not, and I've made it clear I don't get off on it, but I'll do it for him because he likes it. I've also made it clear I can't imagine liking it, but I also understand different people like different things. The 'scenes' have been few & far between, we barely have sex at all, but it's been a couple of years now & I have never gotten comfortable with it.

Last August we moved to the area we're in now & have gotten into the local scene. I've been to three munches so far (not a huge deal since they're always casual) and been invited to two parties that we haven't attended. He says he's patient and he can wait for me to become comfortable, which I appreciate.

The problem is, I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with it. After two years, I don't think there's much else I can do. We've had arguments, outright fights, about all this. He was in a relationship in his twenties with a domme who was abusive, but now at 41 he's rediscovered what he loved about it. Had he been open about it before we got married, we might not have gotten married. It's been really strained lately because he's made it clear that he's finally found people who accept him & he's not ashamed anymore & he can't go back to the way he was (vanilla).

What I hear is, I'm doing it, with or without you. He's usually very sweet about it, but when I get upset, he gets upset, and then the unedited thoughts are revealed. A lot of the time I want to tell him to just go on, find someone else to beat him, find someone else to "fornicate with" (I usually use the f word) while I take care of his children. We have 3, btw.

On top of this, I'm 41, perimenopausal, depressed and about 40 pounds overweight. I was a pretty young woman (wish I had known it at the time) but now I feel really ugly and I certainly don't want to get naked. Sometimes it fills me with anxiety just to take a bath.

Before anyone says it, I would love to get counseling, but we don't have insurance. My husband just got out of the Army last October and the CHAMPUS is too expensive. I'm going to college now because I'm also a veteran & I get paid to go, but I don't like it & I never wanted to, which is why I never did. He's working at Walmart at the moment, which pays like crap. So yes, there are definitely other stressors in our lives, but this BDSM stuff is just always on my mind now, & not in a good way. I'm not opposed to anyone having sex any way they want, but I know what I like & what I don't.

I just can't convince my husband that I don't, because I'm sure he can't even fathom anyone NOT liking kink, just like I can't fathom why someone would like pain or like hurting others, but I DO understand that they do and that I will probably NEVER understand the why's. I feel like I'm being judged because I'm not kinky. I was never opposed to it really, I would like to play sometimes, but not when I'm being pressured. Even when he's not actually pressuring me, I guess I'm pressuring me because it's just always there in the background.

I don't even know if I have a specific question to ask here, I just know I'm so resentful and it doesn't seem to matter how much we talk about it. By the end of the discussion it's more like, I'm just tired of talking about this now because nothing's getting accomplished, so let's just stop talking right now.

I dunno, any insight would be welcome.:scratchhead: Thanks to anyone who takes the time to respond.

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

What to say to a cheating woman??

I hope I am posting in the correct section because even though was not married to this woman, I had honestly found in her my soul mate and loved her as much if not more than my ex wife of 10+ years.

Well I searched the forums and surprisingly did not find a topic devoted to "what to say to a cheating woman". Not sure I want her back or not right now, but I would like to know what everyone feels would be the best things to say to a cheating woman who has cheated with her opposite sex guy best friend she claimed was never possible or never going to happen, they had been together in the past and it didn't work, so I trusted her and honestly felt this could not happen. I was introduced to him, he has a live in gf, and we all regularly hung out. This completely came out of nowhere, I did not see it coming at all.

I trusted her until the point that I couldn't and I know for certain, not jumping to conclusions, I caught her with him spending the night at her house. I know every situation is different, but I do want to tell her and say to her the correct things to make her understand what she has done, how much she has totally betrayed my trust. There are kids involved and I have been a father to her kids who's father has nothing to do with them anymore. This makes it very hard as I loved the kids like my own and they loved me and I also have kids. I feel she not only betrayed me but she betrayed all the kids.

This is infidelity after leaving my ex wife for her cheating 2 years ago. This is a woman that I fell in love with after divorce. But it does not make it any different in my eyes or any easier to deal with. I want to say something to her, but I really am at a loss for words. There were no signs or problems leading up to this, it just came from nowhere out of the blue and hit hard.

I had been understanding with her with her and her opposite sex bf as I have a bf of opposite sex in which I do not in any way look at her any different than my bf/my sister. I would never have a romantic relationship with my os bf as I feel as she is my long lost sis, and that is totally honest. Hopefully there are several responses on this as it is really bothering me.

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Don't know what to do

My husband raided his retirement account. I never wanted him to do this. I didn't find out till just the other day. He took out $5,000 dollars.
My work has been slow the last couple of months, and my bosses promised it would get better. I have worked only a couple days out of the week the last couple of months.
This means we are way behind in our utility bills. Gas, combined utilities(water,sewer,garbage) and electric.
We are on the verge of having our water and gas shut off. He took out $5,000 but will not help. All he would have to do is pay half of the combined utilities to keep them from shutting off our water, and half of the gas. But he refuses to do it.
We have been in this situation before. We went for a whole month in the middle of winter with no water because we were unable to pay the bill. Do you know what its like to bucket water from the neighbors next door, and then heat it up on a propane stove to take a bath, wash the dishes, etc?.
The fact he took out $5,000 doesn't help our quest to find help through charity's. I'm not going to lie to them about the money he took out.
My husband doesn't work at all. He is 63 years old, tried to get jobs, but suspected he wasn't hired because of his age.
I have been trying to hold us up financially for years.
He wants to wait till he is 67 to get his full social security. If he takes it now, he will get $1,109.00. With his National Guard retirement, that would make his income $1,509.00 a month.
Sorry this is so long, I just can't take it any more. Thanks for reading this.

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Need help with this please.

I have a good friend I met on site a site called Experience Project, she's amazing. She is gorgeous and has an amazing personality. We are so alike, we get on well and we both want similar things out of life. We have been talking for weeks now, and I'm falling for her. I thought to myself - It's the things we don't do/say that we regret the most - so I told her how I felt. She said that she felt the same, and that's great, but for some reason it's making me kinda upset and I don't know why.

I've a girlfriend before but I've never felt this strongly about a person. I have been using the internet and sites like these for a long time now and understand some people are not who they say they are, but I know for a fact she is who she is. I'd love to meet her in person, more than anything, but we are so far away from each other - by about three thousand miles - and I can't just go to her right now, my parents would never let me go to another country alone.

I love talking to her, so much. It's the highlight of my day. I do the best I can at school knowing that when I come home I get to relax and talk to her, sometimes for hours and hours on end. Even into the early hours of the morning. I am just clueless on what to do. This has been eating me alive.

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979