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What do you do that you look forward to every day, your vice in life

  • Thread Starter

I was watching a tv programme yesterday about people who obsessed with shopping , they had work and one woman had work and kids, and I guess the only thing they had to look forward to was shopping. This got me thinking maybe everyone has kind of escapist habit, which is most likely not productive, but they cannot live without. So I wanted to know what your habits are which you probably do daily and it's like the highlight of the day. I think mine is Internet forums, haha, I know they are not helpful to my life but I don't have a lot of people in my life and they give me the illusion of having an impact.

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Can you still be friends if you have a crush on someone ?

  • Thread Starter

Im not too sure about this, it because if I see her talking to other guys and I like her it'll just make it awkward obviously I wont like it but I cant say anything and it can ruin a friendship, tbh I can control myself but since I like her I see her differently and not the way I see a friend.

So the best course of action I think would be is to not talk to her much just here and there.

Whats your opinions on being friends with a crush ? Does it work ?

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14 years, 5 kids but don't want to be with him anymore

Brief history:
My husband and I met online, lived 2000 miles apart. We met after 2 months of talking on the phone and were married two months after that. I moved across the country and we started our life together. I had never really dated anyone else, I was a late bloomer. He is 13 years older than me - I was 26 he was 40 when we met.

I spent the first 8 years trying to make him happy and not understanding what I was doing wrong. He would fly off the handle for no reason. He would intimidate me, break things to make a point, yell and scream if things didn't go his way. He pushed me a couple of times. The worst was when he kneed me in the butt and knocked me down when I was 8 months pregnant. We were living in a travel trailer literally in the middle of the desert with no power or phone. I had no where to go. I just kept trying to appease him and make him happy.

After I had my last baby I left him for a short time. Took the kids and went to a shelter. He begged me to come back and promised he would change. So I went back to him. Since then he has not been physically violent at all. He has really worked on his temper. He will walk away now rather than lose control. Things are better in a lot of ways.

But I still spend every day I'm with him trying to make sure things go his way so he doesn't get upset. I still stifle my kids so they don't make him mad. He doesn't yell at me often now. But he talks to the kids in ways that I don't think are right. He will swear at them, intimidate them, yell at them, berate them, call them names. I've talked to him many, many times about it and asked him to stop. It doesn't seem to help. He came from an extremely abusive home with a father that was a nightmare. He always defends his actions by saying that he isn't as bad as his father. But in my mind that doesn't make it right.

I don't know how to tell him that what he has done isn't good enough. I have sex with him out of obligation. I cringe inside when he touches me. He is a trucker and on the road a lot. I'm much happier when he isn't around than when he is. Even the kids notice the difference in me when he isn't home. And they are happier too.

I don't want to try anymore. I've reached the point of just not caring. But he has no idea. I've given 14 years to trying and working on it and I have no more emotion for this marriage. And I feel guilty because I'm not even sad. I don't know how to logistically work it out. I don't want to tell him until I have a plan and a means to carry it out.

Am I giving up on my marriage? Should I try harder? Should I sacrifice my happiness to keep this marriage together? For the kids? If we separate the kids will be on their own with him and I won't be there to buffer. He isn't abusive to the point that the courts would intervene. He's just mean to them. But he's also a good dad in other ways.

I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for. I just need to get this out there.

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building the trust

Hi all
My partner is receiving treatment for porn addiction that he has been doing over the last 3 years in our relationship.

He broke down and confessed all about a month ago about his porn, lies.

Yesterday I needed reassurance because of something that was innocent but i related it to his lies in the past. He got angry and couldnt understand why I had to question him because he had done nothing wrong. When I explained that I connected it to his lies he said 'Are we going to have to talk about ths forever', and 'things were going well and all of a sudden theres a drop'

So most of the day I was annoyed and I felt I got a half apology which wasnt sincere. He was also being defensive and stubborn and thinks that his move to therapy should be enough to heal the realtionship and dosnt 'get it' when I try to explain my feelings.

:scratchhead:

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Obesity and LD in woman.

I know there can be physical causes for lack of sexual desire. I, for one, was recently diagnosed with low t in my late forties and a once monthly shot has made a big difference in how much I desire sex. But the time spent together with my wife in bed has changed little.

But I was wondering if one's size can cause the lack of sexual desire. I had always been attracted to larger woman. Can being big though cause a woman not have any desire in sex? My first wife was about 5'3" and 185 lbs. and it was about after a year or 2 of marriage she lost interest in sex but that may also of been due to having health issues and a severe physical disability. We divorced after 5 years, not due to a sexless marriage but rather due to irreconcilable differences, her being depressed and increasing challenges due to her progressive severe physical disability though we remained on friendly terms until she passed away 10 years later.

My current wife and I met about a year after my divorce and were married about a year later. She was even somewhat larger than my ex when we met being 5'0" and 240 pounds. I found her to be very attractive and unlike my ex, kind and loving. She has always been very healthy even with her weight and size. We had fantastic sex for the first 2 years or so and then she lost interest when our 2 children were infants and toddlers, she had some renewed interest for a year or two as they got older but it didn't last long.

Over the years we have had our ups and downs as in any marriage, we've worked through problems and have always been the best of friends and faithful to each other. Though over the last 5 years she has shown little interest in doing anything at night in bed. We have had sex maybe once a month or less in the last 5 years.

Especially in the last 3 years she has gotten huge, at her highest documented weight she was 303 pounds at only 5'0" tall in April of this year. Her dr. put her on diet pills and she has lost about 15 pounds since. Despite her size, I still love her and find her as attractive as the day we met. She is in her late thirties but looks about 10 years younger than she is. I have always treated her with the upmost respect that all women deserve and have never said anything hurtful or demeaning regarding her weight or size. She has always been a great mother and wife (outside the bedroom) but has little to no interest in intimacy at night. The times in which we have engaged in sex it seemed as though it was a very uplifting and very pleasurable experience for her to the point she wanted it to go on the rest of night. The problem is getting her to this point of arousal. Over 90% of the time she will reject any advances that I make, I find that to be very depressing at times. But in every other way we have a very good marriage unlike so many other couples I've known and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

My wife outwardly appears to be very self confident, has high self esteem, and easily makes friends. When she is around others she seems to accepting and not ashamed of her weight and size. Other than finding clothes that fit, getting seatbelt extenders when we fly somewhere on vacation, and not being able to walk fast her life doesn't seem to of been adversily affected because of her weight. In the beiginning we could practically have sex anythere and at any time that would of been appropriate. Especially in the last 5 years, she seems to not like undressing or getting naked in front of me and when we had made love it has to be in the dark or under the sheets like she doesn't want to be seen.

Can being 150-175 pounds overweight alone cause a woman to lose alot of interest or desire to have sex?

Can obesity cause hormonal imbalances in woman, if so how can that be checked and treated?

What are things I can do to increase her arousal and make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable for her?

From all the latest reality tv shows on obesity there are apparently many other couples who are going through similar experiences of a spouse living with morbid obesity. I would like to hear from others in a similar situation.

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Wife wants agreement. I want to argue.

I would love advice from women about something my wife and I are struggling with. My wife wants me to agree with her, pretty much all the time. I grew up in a house with a lot of debates, and I have a hard time with this. To me, discussions, debates, even arguments (if they aren't nasty) are enjoyable. But my wife feels uncomfortable with the conflict. If I disagree with her then her feelings are hurt. For example, last night we were talking about some town planning decisions where we live (Yes, we talk about town planning.) She made a comment about our city being the way it is because its a newer, west coast city. I disagreed, and pointed out the same feature in older east coast cities. I wasn't mean, I didn't insult her or yell, I just disagreed. She suddenly became quiet and I realized I'd hurt her feelings. So she's hurt when I disagree but I feel frustrated by only being able to say yes. How can I make her feel heard but also have an opinion?

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Male vs Female...who will win?

"Male vs Female" basically we start at 1000 and females have to +1 and guys have to -1, if the females get to 2000 they win, males get to 0 they win.

Poster 1 (female 1000 + 1) = 1001
Poster 2 (female)= 1002
Poster 3 (male 1002- 1) =1001
Poster 4 (female) =1002

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Frivolous frivolities...word association

I saw this on another forum..looks fun. Each person has to come up with a word that is associated to the word on the prior post.

:). Have fun!

Example:
Poster 1...Up
Poster 2...down
poster 3...town
Poster 4...hall
Poster 5...fame

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Getting a similar reaction as a stranger would. possible?

Hello all, i just made my first post on a thread that started back in 2013 and decided that because of how much it bothers me i would start a tread about it.

Here is what happened a year or so ago. My wife and i are out on a couples date night. My wife was 37. The waiter (definitely not attractive and the first time we saw him) asks us what we wanted to drink and she says a tequila sunrise. Well he asks her for ID and she just blurted out "thank you i could kiss you". I have said things like how young she looks, you don't age, baby face, and all i get is a smile and a thank you with a "yeah right" facial expression.

So i ask, how are we to make our wives feel young? :scratchhead:

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Is sending a "tribute" shot cheating?

I just learned of this term today!

So there is this chick who sends out pictures of herself to men she chats with. All the pics are definitely risqué and she is scantily clad but in highly provocative poses. She then asks her male friends, most of whom are likely married, to masturbate and ejaculate on her photo, I guess somewhere along the line they have to print it out. Then the men friends take a picture of their leavings splashed onto her picture, and send her the picture of their ejaculate on a picture of her.

On one hand, seems a rather harmless form of live porn. On the other hand, there is at least some form of relationship because they chat on line.

What is the consensus of the men, cheating or not?

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Should i add her?

  • Thread Starter

This dates back to a taster day i had at a 6th form.Whilst i was there during a teambuilding exercise i talked with a group of nice girls(i was the only boy in my group) and we got on well enough.Would it be okay if i added one of the girls because i saw her at enrolment day(i think),just thinking itd be good to make a new friend.She also happens to be friends with two of my old primary school classmates.

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Why is he ignoring me?

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He has been flirting with me for ages and we spent a night together. He has a gf but that didn't stop him. Now he's ignoring me :( Why?

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Met a great guy but I think it's the wrong time

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Not sure if I have a specific question I'm just confused.

Recently I met a guy, let's say 'Jack', and he and I get on really well. When we met it was made clear we both wanted to have sex with each other and now we meet up fairly regularly to do so. However, from the beginning I knew Jack was my type and now I know him more, I can see that he is almost everything I'm looking for in a boyfriend. The problem is I'm not in a good place in my life to be in a relationship, but now I feel I regret meeting him at this point as it would be almost impossible to have a relationship with him when I am ready and also the unlikelihood of him wanting to turn a hook up into something serious is also there.

I know I want to keep seeing him but am I stupid and inevitably going to get hurt by doing so? Though I don't think I would ruin our sexual relationship by telling him any of this as I enjoy it too much.

Sorry for the ramble, just looking for some insight or if anyone can make sense of my life haha :$

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Girls Only - About Sending Nudes

  • Thread Starter

So these girls are sending me nude snaps, which is fine.

But one of them, not my current girlfriend, and who I dont intend to make my future girlfriend either, she keeps sending me nudes, but I kind of get the impression that shes wanting some back.

So I need to ask, if you girls send nudes, what are you expecting back? I just send back smoking hot emoticons back, am I doing this wrong?

Because I really dont want to send my penis pictures over snapchat, I know A LOT of guys do but that is not really my game. But are you girls expecting nudes for nudes?

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Could someone offer me some insight?

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This will be long so I apologise but I'm really confused.

I'm a girl, I was getting to know this guy. He told me he 'liked' me.

He was a virgin when I was getting to know him, which did not bother me at all. Around 2 weeks ago I was really ill, I couldn't stop throwing up and I couldn't move, so I told him I would contact him in a few days when I was feeling better but I still made him aware that I still like him and when I'm feeling a bit better we should go and do something together again.

He ignored me for about a week, then he messaged me randomly on FB asking me if I knew this girl, I said yes I do and he said to me he lost his virginity to her a couple of days before, as if he was trying to rub it in my face or something :confused:. So I said to him that I don't really want to speak to him anymore after that.

He then messaged me back saying that he lied when he said he'd had sex with her, that they only had oral sex and he only told me he had sex with her because he thought the whole virgin thing was an issue for me.

:confused:

I don't really know what to believe. I don't understand why he's caused all this drama when we aren't even together. I don't care if he got noshed off by some other girl but I care in the way in which he told me and tried to rub it in my face, like he didn't give a **** about my feelings.

Can someone try to enlighten me on what his problem is? if he's a liar? because honestly I don't understand what he's doing and I find it very hard to believe that he stayed around her house the whole night and only got a blowjob.

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I'm running away from home

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Im a 22 year old muslim girl and I've made a decision to run away from home. I'm just scared my family will find me and hurt me does anybody know how i can go about not being found?

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Cancer and marriage

I am currently fighting my 3rd battle with cancer, very advanced stage 3 and have been for 3 years. I've had 3 surgeries and am currently recieving IV chemotherapy for the 2nd time. My oncologist is still hopeful that I can be cured even though there is chance that I may become terminally ill. I am 48 y/o, in fairly good health aside from cancer and require little help from others in daily living. I feel well most days except for some nausea and fatigue normally associated with chemo. I stopped working about 9 months ago due to health but hope to work again some day if cured.

At this point in my life I really want to focus and work on improving my marriage, since my wife and children are the only family that I have. I had never been a very emotional guy before. But under the circumstances lately I have been craving love, closeness, and intimacy much more than I had in the past. I want to make the most of whatever time I have left, whether it be 2 years or 20 years.

My wife and I have been married 15 years. The first years of marriage were great and over the years we've faced problems and challenges as all couples do and have remained faithful and loyal to each other. I love my wife very much and she is my best friend. She has been with me through my surgeries and has accompanied me to all my chemo treatments. She has been a stay-at-home mom since about 3 months before my original cancer diagnosis and she has taken on doing more of the household chores lately though I try to help as much as I can. I am very grateful for her. I feel that she loves me also and would be devastated if I were to pass away and it would take a while for her to recover and put her life back together.

Over the past 5 - 10 years, she has seemed more like a companion or close friend than an intimate partner or wife. Don't get me wrong, we have shared many good times and went on many nice vacations together. But also until I stopped working 9 months ago, I or we had also been under a fair amount of stress over the years from my job, raising kids, dealing with in-laws, etc. . I never stopped loving her, though I may not have always shown it as much as I should of and I regret that. I have always had the upmost respect for her and have never been physically or verbally abusive. I would like nothing more than to rebuild the emotional bond and the closeness that we had when we first got together. I know there is nothing that I can do to change or undo anything in the past but would like to know what I can do, going forward, to make our last years we have together the best.

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They didn't have to cheat. It really isn't your fault!

They didn't have to cheat. It really isn't your fault!

Whatever problems you have in your marriage there's no excuse for infidelity.

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Not sure on our options after cheating

This is my second post. My first post was that my military husband had been cheating while on a work trip in Vegas. I finally got out it has happened 6 times with in the past 6 years. All on a work trip and while drinking heavily. This all started with a new job 6 years ago. The people he works with encouraged this bad behavior and make fun of others who are with their families. We have been together for 10 years with two children. We have considered moving across country to another base were he wouldn't have to travel any more and it's more family orientated. He's also agreed to a poly test everyone year.
I'm so torn... I'm not sure about the move and if I'm being naive about the job change.
What to do?

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