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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Help with meeting the parents?
How long did it take for you to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents? I'd mentioned it to him a while ago but then instantly regretted it because they are very different politically and religiously to him so I'm really scared there'd be a huge argument and I'll end up hiding (also he seemed somewhat apprehensive). Now he's mentioned how his mum and stepdad are really accepting and that I could meet them.
I just really want to know if anyone has any advice on how to deal with meeting the parents...
By the way if this sounds really stupid it's because this is my first relationship and meeting his parents/him meeting mine is really worrying me
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How do I get back at my ex girlfriend?
It's been 2 years. This girl broke my heart into a million pieces: she ruined my friendships, spread rumours about me, laughed when I told her how I felt, left me with crippling anxiety and depression which I still suffer with to this day. She didn't tell me why we broke up and continued to ridicule and insult me. I had to leave college because it upset me so much. I've tried letting it go, being the better person ect... but this does not work for me. She was my first love but manipulated me into turning against my family and believing her mother's spiritual stories. Being young at the time, I believed every word. That scarred me also. Im almost positive that she cheated on me. I'm past the forgiveness stage. I've felt broken for two years. I want revenge.
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Non-Muslim guys only. Would you date a White Muslim convert?
This question is only for non-Muslim guys.
Would you date a girl that is a Muslim convert that has the following characteristics:-
1) Caucasian from a Western European country.
2) Converted because she likes the religion not due to a previous relationship.
3) Above average in the looks department and for the most part acceptable personality wise.
4) Doesn't consume pork or any porcine based products. Quite staunch on this and does get upset if you eat it in close proximity to her.
5) No alcohol, even red wine stew isn't acceptable.
6) Can have sex though not during prayer times.
7) Does know her religion rather well but not an extremist thus unlikely to become a terrorist.
8) Has lots of Muslim friends.
9) Unlikely you can convince her to convert and best not to try type as she doesn't take criticism of her religion all that well especially if it is uninformed.
10) Doesn't require you to convert upon marriage but would like it if you get a circumcision. Kids can and will be allowed to choose what religion or so she says though in practice doubtful this could happen.
Therefore with those criteria in mind would you date such a girl?
Also is it racism to reject her based on her religion alone?
No trolling please.
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is tinder just for casual hook ups?
My friend says I should try tinder and that she's been on some dates with people she met on it. I'm not looking for a one night stand, nothing against casual hook ups but they don't appeal to me.
So, are there many people on tinder who are looking to meet someone for a relationship rather than just casual sex? It would be good to hear peoples experiences on tinder :)
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Is it weird that my partner wants me to do this?
Anon please, I know people on this. Even if other people find it weird it won't stop me from continuing. Well this is how it goes. I had an arranged marriage around six months ago. I would say that me and my wife have fallen in love with each other a few months after the marriage, but she seems more than in love. She seems obsessed. For example, she'll even wait outside the toilet when I'm using it and when I wake up in the morning, she's always staring at me. The main thing I'm asking isn't that. It's that she has requested me to treat her like a baby. For example she's asked me to feed her her cereal every morning whilst she watches cartoons and she won't eat by herself. She's also asked me to read her stories at night time whilst she goes to sleep and she said that she won't go to sleep otherwise. I've been doing it because I just want to keep her happy. It means a lot to me. And sometimes she jumps on my lap all of a sudden and forces me to wrap my arms around her. She smiles every time I call her good girl. The list of what she wants me to do is endless. Do most wives want this from their husbands or is this just a weird relationship?
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Stood Up (male)
I'm here to rant a little.
About a month ago I signed up to a free dating site because I'm quite busy with my profession and I'm not great at meeting girls. I've had no real luck until last week when a girl and I both 'liked' each other on it and got talking. We messaged for a few days back and forth and we seemed to get on pretty well and have plenty to say (though admittedly I'm not a great lover of this online messaging stuff, the purpose of a dating site should be to get to the date as quickly as possible then talk etc ) I asked on her a date after a few days - after all it is a DATING website. She said she'd love to and we arranged a time and place which was meant to be tonight.
I text her today to confirm - she said we were still on and she was looking forward to it.
I get ready, try and look nice, get a taxi in to town and wait nervously but quite excited to meet her in person. Ten minutes later I'm slightly worried but still I give her the benefit of the doubt. 20 minutes I'm thinking the worst - 25 I walked away. I wasn't going to stand there humiliated any longer. I text her and said 'running a little late?'
No text, no explanation, nothing.
Went to a mates flat instead and had a decent night then got a taxi home.
What annoys me is not so much that she stood me up but the fact that there is no communication. I mean I would expect such behaviour of a 17 year old perhaps but not someone in their 20s. I find it incredibly selfish of this girl to do this and had this been the other way round I'm sure I'd get a barrage of texts or calls to say what the hell. I have spent a fair bit on taxis tonight, I got cash out to pay for the date, I've made the effort to come into town and sure I was a little nervous and I expect she was as well but to not show up with no explanation is unacceptable.
The ultimate insult is that I logged in to the dating site before and she was online an hour after we were meant to meet.
I haven't text her or anything but I'm wondering whether to just let it go or send her a text, not an abusive text by any means but a text to let her know I think she behaved in a disgraceful and selfish manner. The idea that she should get off Scott free irritates me - I didn't do anything to deserve that.
I know I'm not the first or the last person to be stood up but as an adult society should we just accept such behaviour?
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The office
i started watching the office from season 1 at the start of this year and i actually think im addicted to it ive literally watched each season 3/4 times is that weird orrrr? its just so funny
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When Your Drunk Spouse Hates You
My husband of 23 years is a full on alcoholic. Alcohol has been a problem in our relationship since day one.
When the economy took a downturn and I lost my job and he had no work, his drinking increased which caused fights and lots of crying (on my part). I had to emotionally withdrawal from him (180) but he never noticed. It's been four years since he has hugged me, kissed me, said love words to me, had sex with me, or had given me a compliment.
I come from a very abusive childhood with heavy doses of put downs, mental warfare, soul killing words, and instability. It's no secret why I do and say the things I do, this is nothing new to my husband. My father (Satan) told me since I was little that if I ever got fat, my husband would leave me, everyone hates fat people, being fat is worse than cancer. My mother was obese and he openly called her a pig, fat ass, slob, and many other horrible things (he still does).
When I went into my depression, I was sleeping a lot and gorging myself on chocolate (comfort eating which is something I have NEVER done before). Needless to say, I got fat. Since then I will not let my family see me because I become that little girl again and the thought of my family making fun of me and putting me down like my whole childhood makes me physically ill.
My husband's behavior just cements my horrible body image and I feel crippled. He has proven my father right, which in my eyes is the greatest sin. My husband has also started to constantly tell me what my faults are. He has somehow found a pedestal and stands atop it and judges me more than he has ever done. When I call him on all of these things and relay how much they hurt, he says I am nuts and to get over it.
It cannot be a coincidence that my weight gain coincided with his lack of interest with me physically. Yesterday he told me I will never get the same attention I used to by men because of my weight. This morning I made a joke comment about young firm 20 year olds who are in for a surprise when they hit 40 and their bodies and metabolism change and he got very angry with me. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KARMA? WHY DO YOU WISH ILL ON OTHERS? I HATE THAT YOU DO THAT, I WOULD NEVER WISH ILL ON ANYONE, EVER!!! My comment was just a comment, not a wish. It's something I have commented on since I turned 40 and all the warnings from older women to me when I was young turned out to be true. I said I ALWAYS SAID STUFF LIKE THAT, WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED? and he said I KNOW, BUT IT'S WRONG, YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND I HAVE ALWAYS HATED WHEN YOU SAID THAT. Then he picked up one of my glass paper weights and holds it out to me and says DO YOU LIKE THIS GLASS PAPERWEIGHT? and I said YES, I LOVE IT. And he said ''I HOPE IT SHATTERS" and he left the room.
When I get back in shape, I don't think I will ever be able to let him touch me ever again. Four years of resentment and neglect has taken their toll on my already crippled psyche.
As anyone ever gone through this? How do you cope? How do you not let the words hurt? Can you ever love your drunk again? Do I just let go completely (I am only hanging on by a thread in this marriage).
When the economy took a downturn and I lost my job and he had no work, his drinking increased which caused fights and lots of crying (on my part). I had to emotionally withdrawal from him (180) but he never noticed. It's been four years since he has hugged me, kissed me, said love words to me, had sex with me, or had given me a compliment.
I come from a very abusive childhood with heavy doses of put downs, mental warfare, soul killing words, and instability. It's no secret why I do and say the things I do, this is nothing new to my husband. My father (Satan) told me since I was little that if I ever got fat, my husband would leave me, everyone hates fat people, being fat is worse than cancer. My mother was obese and he openly called her a pig, fat ass, slob, and many other horrible things (he still does).
When I went into my depression, I was sleeping a lot and gorging myself on chocolate (comfort eating which is something I have NEVER done before). Needless to say, I got fat. Since then I will not let my family see me because I become that little girl again and the thought of my family making fun of me and putting me down like my whole childhood makes me physically ill.
My husband's behavior just cements my horrible body image and I feel crippled. He has proven my father right, which in my eyes is the greatest sin. My husband has also started to constantly tell me what my faults are. He has somehow found a pedestal and stands atop it and judges me more than he has ever done. When I call him on all of these things and relay how much they hurt, he says I am nuts and to get over it.
It cannot be a coincidence that my weight gain coincided with his lack of interest with me physically. Yesterday he told me I will never get the same attention I used to by men because of my weight. This morning I made a joke comment about young firm 20 year olds who are in for a surprise when they hit 40 and their bodies and metabolism change and he got very angry with me. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KARMA? WHY DO YOU WISH ILL ON OTHERS? I HATE THAT YOU DO THAT, I WOULD NEVER WISH ILL ON ANYONE, EVER!!! My comment was just a comment, not a wish. It's something I have commented on since I turned 40 and all the warnings from older women to me when I was young turned out to be true. I said I ALWAYS SAID STUFF LIKE THAT, WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED? and he said I KNOW, BUT IT'S WRONG, YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND I HAVE ALWAYS HATED WHEN YOU SAID THAT. Then he picked up one of my glass paper weights and holds it out to me and says DO YOU LIKE THIS GLASS PAPERWEIGHT? and I said YES, I LOVE IT. And he said ''I HOPE IT SHATTERS" and he left the room.
When I get back in shape, I don't think I will ever be able to let him touch me ever again. Four years of resentment and neglect has taken their toll on my already crippled psyche.
As anyone ever gone through this? How do you cope? How do you not let the words hurt? Can you ever love your drunk again? Do I just let go completely (I am only hanging on by a thread in this marriage).
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wife is insensitive when it comes to my family!
My wife and I have only been together for 6 months and married for only 1 month. Although we have not been together for long we knew that we wanted to get married... She comes from a large family and is very loving to them and I have a very small family and actually my wife said that one of the main reasons that she was attracted to me was because I was such a loving person and loved the way I take care of my family.
In the past 6 month we have not had any arguments or disagreements until we got married. We have had 2 major disagreements since we got married. The first disagreement happened 2 weeks ago when we were at a beach with my wife and her family and my daughter and 8 month old grandson. My wife got upset that I was trying to make a shelter for shade for my daughter and grandson while my daughter was breast feeding him and I was so focused on doing something for my daughter that I didn't hear something that she was trying to tell me. Before this all of my attention was on my wife. The disagreement got so bad even though I apologized she said that she didn't want to see me for a while which lasted for 2 days. It baffled me because for the life of me I couldn't understand why she was so cold to me and insensitive. I didn't fight with her and but while I was continually trying to make up with her she was being so antagonistic.
Last night was the second major disagreement... During the day my mother called me to pick her up from the grocery store because she was not feeling well and throwing up so I left work to pick her up and take her home. It was obvious
that my mother was feeling pretty weak and come to find out, my mom hadn't taken her blood pressure pills and was stressed out so she rested up while I took my wife out to dinner. Before dinner I explained to my wife that my mom was not feeling well and that I was concerned for her. After a very lovely dinner I told my wife that I wanted to sleep at my moms house just to make sure that she was going to be ok and in case I needing to take her to the doctors if she got worse. My wife said that she didn't have any clothes so I suggested that we stop at the house to grab some clothes and she said "well I want to go to the gym in the morning" so I said "my mom isn't feeling well and there is no one there to watch her so I think that I need to be there for her". My wife then said "well you stay over there and I will go home so I can go to the gym" . She dropped me off and took off without a goodbye kiss or a wave, nothing. She text me when she got home that I was not actin g like a husband and that she didn't want to see me for a while.
I can't handle it when my wife tells me that she doesn't want to see me for a while as if i did something so bad that we need to separate... I am afraid that she is going to push me away.
In the past 6 month we have not had any arguments or disagreements until we got married. We have had 2 major disagreements since we got married. The first disagreement happened 2 weeks ago when we were at a beach with my wife and her family and my daughter and 8 month old grandson. My wife got upset that I was trying to make a shelter for shade for my daughter and grandson while my daughter was breast feeding him and I was so focused on doing something for my daughter that I didn't hear something that she was trying to tell me. Before this all of my attention was on my wife. The disagreement got so bad even though I apologized she said that she didn't want to see me for a while which lasted for 2 days. It baffled me because for the life of me I couldn't understand why she was so cold to me and insensitive. I didn't fight with her and but while I was continually trying to make up with her she was being so antagonistic.
Last night was the second major disagreement... During the day my mother called me to pick her up from the grocery store because she was not feeling well and throwing up so I left work to pick her up and take her home. It was obvious
that my mother was feeling pretty weak and come to find out, my mom hadn't taken her blood pressure pills and was stressed out so she rested up while I took my wife out to dinner. Before dinner I explained to my wife that my mom was not feeling well and that I was concerned for her. After a very lovely dinner I told my wife that I wanted to sleep at my moms house just to make sure that she was going to be ok and in case I needing to take her to the doctors if she got worse. My wife said that she didn't have any clothes so I suggested that we stop at the house to grab some clothes and she said "well I want to go to the gym in the morning" so I said "my mom isn't feeling well and there is no one there to watch her so I think that I need to be there for her". My wife then said "well you stay over there and I will go home so I can go to the gym" . She dropped me off and took off without a goodbye kiss or a wave, nothing. She text me when she got home that I was not actin g like a husband and that she didn't want to see me for a while.
I can't handle it when my wife tells me that she doesn't want to see me for a while as if i did something so bad that we need to separate... I am afraid that she is going to push me away.
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Fluids & Smells of Sex
Admittedly, I am unhappy in my relationship. However, I've had a healthy and full sex life. Now that I am peri-menopausal, I get turned off at the idea of kissing my husband and grossed out by the smells and fluids involved in sex. I have gone to the hormone specialist & needed Progesterone. But I still get nauseous in general & frankly sickened by the idea of having sex. I dont want him or anyone else touching me.
Have any of you ladies experienced nausea when becoming menopausal? I've also become really sensitive about things being clean.
Posted via Mobile Device
Have any of you ladies experienced nausea when becoming menopausal? I've also become really sensitive about things being clean.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Split shift marriage
Is anyone married to a nurse or someone who works 2nd/ 3rd shift?
My wife and I never see each other, it doesn't seem to bother my wife but i feel like we are nothing more than passing roommates. how do you deal with it?
My wife and I never see each other, it doesn't seem to bother my wife but i feel like we are nothing more than passing roommates. how do you deal with it?
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PVC lingerie.
I couldn't help it, I was just browsing in the sex store and had this idea of some new thongs for him, I like to imagine him in different underwear when I take care of business while he's not here ;)
As I looked I saw loads that I thought he would look dead sexy in and chose 3 new pairs for him, in the selection I bought him a red PVC thong.
At that moment in the store I just couldn't get out of my head how sexy he wouuld look in them, but he hasn't seen them yet and I suppose in the cold light of day I maybe feel a little embarassed :o
How do I go about this now?
Show him and let him see them?
Or hide them and bring up PVC in conversation or what to do?
Feel a bit silly for asking others opinions but at the time it seemed such a good idea.
As I looked I saw loads that I thought he would look dead sexy in and chose 3 new pairs for him, in the selection I bought him a red PVC thong.
At that moment in the store I just couldn't get out of my head how sexy he wouuld look in them, but he hasn't seen them yet and I suppose in the cold light of day I maybe feel a little embarassed :o
How do I go about this now?
Show him and let him see them?
Or hide them and bring up PVC in conversation or what to do?
Feel a bit silly for asking others opinions but at the time it seemed such a good idea.
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emails with link
Hi,
Just got an email in my gmail inbox. It said I had to confirm that I still wanted emails from TAM and to click a link. It also said that spam laws in my country had changed and that is why I had to update.
Is this legit?
Thanks in advance.
Just got an email in my gmail inbox. It said I had to confirm that I still wanted emails from TAM and to click a link. It also said that spam laws in my country had changed and that is why I had to update.
Is this legit?
Thanks in advance.
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Is there hope?
My heart is broken right now! I don't know what to do. My husband and I have been married for 22 years now. We have 5 amazing kids 14-21 years old. We used to have fantastic sex. I'm talking planets moving I think I passed out a few times sex. Then a few years ago he suddenly just stopped wanting it! Like ZERO interest! I know he isn't having an affair and never has. Yes he is on medications that can cause issues. Yes his testosterone is low. He used to go to the Dr's office to get monthly T shots (or he was supposed to) but he forgot more often than he went so then I started giving them to him (I have a healthcare background) Now he is just flat out refusing the shots and says that I just need to accept that we just won't have sex anymore! He told me to buy toys and when I did he got mad. He won't talk to me about it at all although he says that it has nothing to do with me. I am SO hurt, frustrated, depressed, etc, etc, etc! I NEVER turned him down o r left him hanging and took care of his needs through all of my pregnancies etc. If I couldn't or didn't want sex I made sure he was still happy. He is completely ignoring me now so it's not even just sex he's hardly talking to me at all! He comes home from work and he is either sleeping or on his computer and I feel like we don't even have a marriage anymore! I feel so lost and alone and when I try to use my toys it just makes me mad so I can't get any relief! HELP!
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Lust for revenge
Well it's been over a year since she betrayed me and left. It's taken everything I have to try to move on....to live. I find myself just as broken as I was a year ago, though I'm past the stage of wanting or loving her.
All I want now is revenge. It consumes me. Every waking minute of every day.
I want her to suffer as I have. I know she's still with the guy she left me for and is happy... And I'm just not okay with that anymore.
I truly believe in accountability and I've had enough of letting her get away with this. The hatred I have in my heart for her grows daily at an astounding rate. It's eating away at my soul. I feel like I will not find peace until she pays for what she has done.
The thoughts have changed me. I'm thinking in ways I never thought I was capable of. I fantasize about crushing her world and every little bit of happiness she feels...and I would do so with a smile on my face. I truly hate the person she has become.
I'm sick of waiting on karma. If I myself have to be karma's sword, so be it. If I have to take matter in my own hands, so be it. I'm just tired of this. So tired...
#rant
All I want now is revenge. It consumes me. Every waking minute of every day.
I want her to suffer as I have. I know she's still with the guy she left me for and is happy... And I'm just not okay with that anymore.
I truly believe in accountability and I've had enough of letting her get away with this. The hatred I have in my heart for her grows daily at an astounding rate. It's eating away at my soul. I feel like I will not find peace until she pays for what she has done.
The thoughts have changed me. I'm thinking in ways I never thought I was capable of. I fantasize about crushing her world and every little bit of happiness she feels...and I would do so with a smile on my face. I truly hate the person she has become.
I'm sick of waiting on karma. If I myself have to be karma's sword, so be it. If I have to take matter in my own hands, so be it. I'm just tired of this. So tired...
#rant
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Physical separation - long distance intimacy
Moved cross country six months ago to run a small business with the help of my father in law. This opportunity required me to move alone to the west coast, which after discussing with my wife of 25 years and children, agreed it was worth taking a shot. Over the past 3 or 4 years, my career suffered from frequent downsizing and layoffs which made this opportunity seem appealing. I drove cross country on January first with the hopes of starting something new and ultimately bringing our family out west once I got the business profitable. I am still in the process of getting the business established and 6 months now away from my wife and kids. I knew it would be difficult on a lot of levels, but I didn't expect to miss my wife as much as I do - especially from a intimacy and sexual stand point. We talk frequently from day to day. I try and stay connected to her world of balancing her job, kids, and house and she tries to stay involved with my daily bus iness stresses - and there have been a few - after all, its her father who owns the majority of the business and property. Recently our conversations have become strained. Me, struggling to stay connected to her world and she with mine. Truth is, I am down right lonely without her. Her father spends summers out of state and I am occupying space in his home while he is gone - so I am completely alone, with no connections or friends in a very beautiful but foreign place. Some days are better than others. I stay very busy with the store, but I also have a lot of time on my own - and this is ripping me apart emotionally. I have had some pretty candid conversations and text messages with my wife emotionally supporting each other, but I seem to need more affirmation that she misses me physically. We have always been a couple who regenerates and refreshes our relationship through sexual intimacy and now that we can't do that, I am really struggling. She seems to better de al with it because her pace at home is so hectic. She falls into bed more nights. I, on the other hand, feel sexually frustrated and trapped by our situation. I recently sent her some playful sexual photos to spark interest with the hopes she would reciprocate or at least get the message that I need a little assurance that she still longs for me the way I long for her. I even engaged her in conversation about "taking care of her self" while we are apart, something I do to keep sanity. She just seems to say "ok honey" and nothing happens. This is turning out to be a more difficult journey than I ever imagined.
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