Do still miss my ex or miss a relationship?

The weird thing is, i broke up with her. But i don't know if i regret breaking up with her, or just leaving the relationship. I was not the sort of person to be in relationships until about 2 years ago, since then it's been about 2 months between each. The one i am posting about lasted 8~9 months. We are still talking and i dont know what to do. HELP.

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How to talk to a girl I don't know?

By 'I don't know' I mean that I don't know what her name is etc and (I assume) it's the same for her.

I'm in upper sixth and I think she's in lower sixth and she goes to the same sixth form as me. We get the same bus, that's when I noticed her looking at me. She does it a lot, I look back and we kinda awkwardly dart our eyes away. I've also seen her in college a couple of times and the same thing happens.

I kinda like her but I don't know if she's just staring or if she actually has some kind of an inclination towards me.

I'd love to talk to her, but I'm not sure how I'd do it. I'm pretty shy/awkward and she seems the same. Talking on the bus would be difficult because I get on before her in the morning (with all my di**head 'lad' friends) and get off after her in the afternoon.

I've considered just simply asking for her number if I cross her in the corridor, but knowing me I'd probably bottle it if I ever walked past her.

Has anyone got any suggestions to start talking to her? Cheers

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I am so depressed and I want to make my ex jealous - how?

I'm a girl, she's a girl. I loved her so much, looked after her, did anything to make her happy. She left me a few weeks back and it seems like she is deliberately trying to make me jealous. She keeps showing me pictures of girls she has been hanging out with, texting me whilst drunk acting all hyper and happy and saying she is busy every night so that we can't make. I am so low and she doesn't even care. It really hurt me the other night when I called her twice as I was virtually suicidal and she hang up and texted me saying she was too busy to talk. I don't know why she is being like this. I have tried to talk to her but she won't let me. I don't know how I can ever trust her again so basically I am planning on making her life miserable like she has done to me. But......how? Any tips?

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boys

i like this boy what should id do:)

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Being Called Cute?

Hey, I've been called cute by a girl at work which was quite random though I didn't think much of it at the time . I thought maybe that she is interested thought not really convinced because we hardly talk or know each other much & that she is Asian which I wouldn't thought she be into & apparently she has a bf though he lives far away.

Any advice be appreciated :$

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Sex on the third date.. yay or nay?

Hi I met a guy and we've hit it off really well. We went out last night and have arranged to meet up today for the cinema. (He's a police officer and I'm a student nurse so we both work weird hours).

Basically I want to have sex with him today but is this too early? I don't want to seem too easy. It will be our 3rd date - 4th if you count the night we met in a bar.

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my girlfriend needs time to think about us

Dear friends,

I need your help regarding my relationship with my girlfriend. We have been together for a little while. Lately she has been distant with me. I asked her if everything was alright regarding our relationship she said yes. I still had the impression something was wrong. Indeed she cancelled two dates in a row. She finally admitted that she didn't love me as much as before and that she needed some time to think about us. One of the reason she mentioned was that she wanted to hangout more often with her friends instead of doing couple stuff. In other words, she misses her freedom. When I asked her if she wants to break up, she said no. She also mentioned we rushed too quickly in the relationship.

We decided to meet up Sunday for dinner so we could talk about our relationship.

Until Sunday I will not talk to her/message her to give her the space she needs.

Do you think this is the end or it's just a low moment in our relationship? If she needs to take it slow I am ready to go for it, I just want to save our relationship.

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Is he being kind? or doesn't he care?

..

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Advice/reflection on life given near death?

Did any of your relations say anything about their life shortly before they died ... regrets or advice.

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Are relationships worth the hassle? For me they end in heartache every time.

I just can't be bothered with relationships anymore. I've had 3 and they all went so wrong. Every time I let someone new into my life they take away more of the happy me and leave emotional scars behind. Each time I am convinced that this person will be different, that this person is worth my time....and each time I am left with the same pain and heartache that I was trying to escape from in the first place.

I know people will say that in order to have a good relationship you need to be happy with yourself first. I think I am mostly happy until these people come along and **** up my wellbeing. I don't know. I just wish I had a way of guaranteeing I never get hurt again. I don't think I can take any more pain. Any advice?

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Grieving boyfriend dumped me, how to pick up the pieces?

Hi All,

Thank you for reading this anon post!

I have spent the last 2 years in a very happy relationship with someone who became my best friend 2 years prior to our relationship beginning. Problems that we worked through was the fact that my family still didn't know about him yet, being that he is of a different religion, although he started to spend some time with my mum and siblings as my "close friend" and I told him my family were starting to see through it but ultimately mum told me she would approve of him if I liked him, as she'd gotten to know him well and understood how special he is.

However recently my bf's dear friend suddenly passed away. This came at a time that my own mother has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and so I was not physically as present for my bf as I would have hoped, particularly as my family don't approve of me openly meeting up/staying round "close male friend's houses' " .

During this time I knew he was angry and distraught, but very surrounded by tons of family and friends. I took reassurance in the fact that we would be back at college (university) in a matter of weeks (in this time I also had some surgery!) and that I could help him pick himself up/support wherever possible.

However he was very avoidant with me and cold (very unlike him before this grief struck him) and told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, felt dull towards me, feels exhausted and not even sure that we would end up together anyways in the future. he was adamant that he was not going to go back on this (he rarely does when he makes a decision and has never gone back to an ex before, albeit his shorter relationship lengths!) he agreed we have a special bond and hoped I could be there for him as a friend.

I tried to explain that I would step back in the relationship and make it about him as the priority, not expect much at all from him but just want to be there, but he just said it wasn't what he wanted. I'm left completely shocked, it feels as though I have lost my true companion. We were so committed to each other and genuinely sickeningly happy before this.

How do I / (we?) move on from this in a healthy way?

Please help!

Thank you

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A 9 year realationship has ended.

I am a 29 y/o male and have only had one relationship. It has ended recently, and now I have no idea what to do. I don't even know how I got into this first relationship, haha. She told me she hopes I find someone that makes me happy. But my biggest dilemma is, how do people meet each other? I am incredibly shy, but I know people somehow seem to find each other, but how does this happen?

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What makes him going out so difficult for me?

I'm sending myself mad.

I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years, but when it comes to him going out without me I just find it really hard to deal with. I get these visions of him cheating or something horrendous even though I'm 99% sure he won't do something like that.

What makes it worse is it feels like he doesn't tell me I can go unless he knows I already have plans or it's too late for me to arrange anything.

I'm 16 and he's just turned 18, and he has his own friends who I'm pretty convinced aren't too fond of me and I have no qualms about him spending time with them, but when it comes to going out (especially when it involves alcohol) makes me just feel awful.

I think it might be jealousy, because he's possibly my only real friend and him going out with his friends without me is a reminder that I am almost completely dependent on him yet he has a wide range of options...

But I don't have any right to be like this! We're young and he should be allowed to go out without me being on his back, and I shouldn't have to sit here feeling rubbish. I just don't know :(

I'm completely neurotic and he's so relaxed, it's a real 'opposites attract' thing. He knows I feel like this, but it seems to keep happening anyway. I'm feeling like a pretty crappy, needy girlfriend but...how do I stop?

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What's the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?

Bisexual people are attracted to both females and males, and pansexuals say they're attracted to all gender identities/ biological sexes, on other words both sexes :pierre:

Only possible difference I can think of is Pans would be attracted to hermaphrodites, but there are people who find them attractive and identify themselves as straight.

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What should I do, my room mates do drugs!

Okay, before I start typing; it's not just weed, it's M-cat, Ket and coke! (I'm use to weed seeing that my mum does it!)

Okay I just created this account because I don't want to get found out. Basically I just started university as an undergrad in Scotland somewhere! My dorm has 7 people including me in them. So the first 6 including me got here last Saturday where we all become good mates and what not. However after two days two of them started talking about doing drugs and that made me really uncomfortable but as long as they didn't get me involved I didn't care although they keep trying to get me to do it! I can easily say no, I'm strong minded! The other three are all good although one of them is kind of a follower! Now the 7th person arrived a day later and he is such a **** (he's body language- I don't judge that much but if you saw him you would think the same) now this guy does coke as well.

Now for the past week I put up with them talking about drugs and smoking weed however just now I saw/ heard them snorting coke and M cat with other people they invited over and I thought I would be okay with it but it turns out I'm not and now I'm really uncomfortable about this. we get on but still they do drugs and it could get me in trouble as well for knowing, they're nice too me and what not but now the bad outweighs the good!

Basically I don't know what to do, I've created this account just now hoping for help! The other two people I like and who do not do drugs are amazing and I don't want to switch accommodation and leave them( by the way the follower finally did drugs tonight) also the other two feel the same way about as me!

I know I'm not over reacting, it would be if it was just weed I know however it's also coke, I mean what the hell! Please help me!


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How and who to date during Uni

How and where can you find the right person to date during Uni?

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How to respond to friend's father's death?

This is my first time making a thread so please excuse me if I have posted in the wrong section.:o

I spoke to my friend today (who also happens to be my ex and we couldn't be together because of family issues) and he told me on whatsapp (our only form of communication since we broke up) that his father passed away...I know I should have called but I cant bring myself to do that, I really don't know how to comfort him as I probably cried more than he did! :(

I have told him I will call him...BUT what do I say to him? This was such a shock to me and extremely upsetting....I have never spoken to anyone about a relative's death as it is too hurtful but in this case I feel like I have an obligation.

What exactly should be said?

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To Have and To Keep - Staying Married with Kids

Ladies:
I am starting to think that June Cleaver may still have something to teach us. Just go with me here. Have you ever caught yourself talking to your husband like he was another one of the children? Why does the grocery clerk get a warmer smile than my husband?
Don't get your pantyhose out yet. I am talking about small changes here. I am not a stay at home mom. By the time I get home from work I too am tired, distracted and not at all interested in cooking, cleaning or overseeing homework to name a few. Here are a few ideas I had, would love anyone else to share.
I put one load of laundry in the moment I get up in the morning. If you do not have a programmable coffee pot, INVEST. By the time I crawl to the kitchen, coffee is ready. I then, while I am fresh, spend 20 minutes cleaning something. It is well worth the 30 mins of lost sleep to get up and accomplish something before the rest of the house is awake. This of course cuts into my check e-mail, Facebook and blog time. Well worth it to accomplish tasks while I am fresh instead of being met at the door with them after 5.
My husband has started to notice that the house is cleaner and I am less harried in the evenings. This has impacted for the better how I treat him at night and he is more helpful when I am not grumpy.
I am continuing to tweek things, will keep you posted.

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Why would my STBXH want to be my friend?

TAM Friends ~

I have spoken to my therapist about why he wants to be my friend.

He is having a tough time because he doesn't want me as a "wife" but needs me as his "friend."

It seems that he needs me to have some role in his life.

I have another thread in this section but I would like your answers seperate from the other.

What was your expierence and why did your STBX want to be your friend?

Thank you ~

Very Hurt

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To you need to provide a prompt for you wife to talk to you?

Every so often, my wife and I will have the same argument because supposedly I don't ask about her day and I don't show any interest in her life. Apparently, I come home and tell her all that happened to me and when I am done, the conversations ends.

Why can't she just say what she has to say? Why do we need to go through this proforma action of me having to ask her? It drives me crazy. I share what I want to share, why can't she do the same thing? Just say it!How hard is that?

So, now, when I came home (I travel a bit), and I comment on whatever happened, I start to see the lips pressing, the eyes wondering and the head tilt and I already now what that's about: she is not even listening, she just waiting for me the finish my sentence to say "See?" and that really is a conversation killer.

I know there is something cultural going on. I understand that in the US people grow up learning to not interrupt and waiting for their turn to talk, while in Europe we tend to interrupt and just say what they are thinking. It is not in my habits to ask my wife (or anyone) to tell me what she is thinking as it is not in hers to just say it.

Any insights on how to deal with this?

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Today is a big day.

Today my nephew from my x's side is getting married for the first time, he is 34. His mother is the only sibling from my x's side that has communicated with me (we are still close) at ALL since finding out about my x's affair and my subsequent divorce soon to be two years ago. (There are five brothers) And while I understand that blood is thicker than water, I have been most disappointed that not one, x brother in laws or their spouses, have even said a "sorry for your troubles" "take care of yourself" "wishing you the best". Don't expect my x to be there with her husband (married the OM six months after divorce was final, divorce took 82 days) as she has not talked to my SIL for 15 years (no one knows why, x is just psycho) so that is not an issue for me. I am going because my nephew still thinks of me as his Uncle and he seriously wants me there, and I want to be there for him. My plan is to be as cheerful as possible, smile a lot. I have even p racticed my, "Why F you are looking great!" for my x MIL (who told someone, "I never like Hoosier anyway) during the reception line. I don't want to look sullen, give them anything to allow them say "Boy she was lucky to get rid of that guy". Before I go into the barn (where they are getting married) I am going to pray for calm, peace, and smiles. Other than the family, many people who are friends and I haven't seen in years are going to be there, I plan on making the most of my time with them.

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First xmas/birthdays as a broken family approach

Dday and the day my stbxw left was November 20 2012, my daughter's birthday. Christmas approaches, and my son's birthday is New Years Day.

Just got a text from the stbx saying we need to discuss the holidays/birthdays. It's awful. The prospect of being away from them any of these days is just heartbreaking.

She continues to manipulate: "Just so you know I'm taking NYE off this year so you can gig if you want. In turn can you take the kids the 29th?"

Of course NYE falls on A Tuesday - which is one of the 3 days a week SHE has the kids anyway. But she's such a manipulator she acts as though she's doing me a solid and now I owe her. It just never stops with these people, does it?

I suspect the holidays and b-days are pretty much always a painful time from now on. So sad.

How do you all get through this?

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Sharing

I want a man who would feel sick with the thought of sharing me with another man and even another woman. Is this unrealistic given what seems to be common male fantasies? I do realize that a person can have a fantasy that they would not want to actually act on in real life but honestly I really don't think I could ever even indulge a SO in a role play of this fantasy at all. I'm open minded but for me.... This is deadlocked!. I don't think I could continue a relationship with man who even tried to broach this topic.
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Just starting seperation

Any thoughts?

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In pain all over again...need advice...

Oh dear...sitting here feeling just as low (if not lower) than I did when I found out that my ex wife was cheating on me 18 months ago :-(

I've been in a (seemingly) great relationship with a 35 year old mum of 3 little ones since February (I am full time parent to a 5 year old boy too). She seemed to be so "into" our relationship and was super keen at the beginning with talks of me and my son moving in with her (she lives about 90 mins away), us getting married, her kids buying me Fathers' day gifts. We fell in love deeply, intensely, and quickly...but although I did/do love her I didn't want to rush into anything like living together just yet...I still wanted to be with her.

Despite the fact that it was good, I always felt like I had to "slot into" her life (she could never relocate because her parents have just bought her a house right next to them, her parents are around her 24/7, she has a very clingy best friend, she works 7 days a week...and she seemed very much to be "controlled" by her parents and friends). It was hard to find time to be together and I started to feel like I was doing most of the running (I'd always drive to her because she was so busy, I often felt like I was feeding off whatever scraps of time she had available)...and while I respected that she probably had no choice in that, small cracks started to appear.

For example, on my birthday weekend we had planned to spend it together...and we had looked forward to this for a while. When it came around I got a little annoyed because she worked, slept, and then announced she had to go to her cousin's BBQ (which she hadn't told me about). I could have gone with her...but felt a little annoyed and hurt that she didn't seem to care about us spending the day together as we'd planned...so I didn't go. We had an argument about this...and a couple of other similar arguments followed.

Over the next few weeks she became very irritable, colder, distant. I tried hard to communicate with her about what was wrong but I always got nothing from her. She isn't a great communicator. Slowly, it felt like the sweet things we both did to make each other feel loved were becoming increasingly one sided (her text messages slowed, she seemed annoyed to hear from me). So I became confused...she said she was fine...clearly she wasn't. I asked her if she was having second thoughts...she said no. Eventually, after weeks of this coldness (and a spoiled camping trip with our kids where she was ultra miserable it seemed) she said she felt depressed and overwhelmed with her life and she didn't know what to do but that she didn't want to end our relationship...but didn't like dragging me into her mess.

I accepted that and said I'd take her out for a really nice date at the weekend. We went to a really nice restaurant and had a lovely evening together cuddling and being close...she seemed so normal that weekend. In the morning, she woke up early and went to work...kissed me goodbye like usual. Then I went to do some work on her computer (as I usually did)...and open on the screen was a paid dating site subscription she'd made two days ago :mad: She had a profile up and had been messaging numerous guys...

I was gutted. I asked her about it when she got home and she said it was nothing, just something her friends and her did at work for fun. I didn't buy that...and was pretty annoyed. She said she didn't want us to split up, was ultra confused and depressed...and didn't know what to do. She was crying and upset. I suggested we maybe need some space to think...she agreed. However, in the first few days after that...I couldn't get that website out of my head...and I texted her and called her a few times to say I think she should take it down and cancel it. She was very annoyed by this...said I was pressuring her and was pretty nasty to me in all communications.

So I got annoyed one night and pushed her on it some more. The next day I had an e-mail from her saying she was furious at how pressuring I'm being and that she had wanted to take a break to clear her head but that I'm clearly not happy with that and so she had to let me break free. I thanked her for this and ignored her for a few days. Had an e-mail reaching out to me from her...asked me to call...so I called in a day or so. We chatted...but she was standoffish...although clearly relieved I'd called her. So I suggested we take a complete break and speak again in a week or so...after we cool down. She said "definitely" and seemed OK with that.

I have left her alone for a week now...no contact at all...but I'm really missing her, still pretty confused and upset about WTF happened here?! And don't know whether I should call her, write her an e-mail, or do anything at all?! I'm shocked and hurt that she (a) could not communicate with me about how she was feeling, and (b) was disrespectful enough to join a dating website while we were together. I don't know whether I should try to calmly get to the bottom of this and see if we can work it out...or whether I should run for the hills. Clearly, she is confused and unable to tell me what's going on in her head. But I'm not a mind reader...

I guess I just wanted some perspective from others...I've felt like crap this weekend because all of this has just opened many of the old painful wounds from my unfaithful ex wife :-(

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