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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
Not sure what to do?
Hi!
I moved to a new area for work a little while ago, I don't know many people from the area but I met this girl I really get on with a few weeks back. We've hung out a few times now and I've started to like her as more than a friend. Sometimes I'll think she likes me too, if we're mucking about and I tickle her or something she'll literally wrap herself around me, but then there's other things like, if we're watching a film and I shift and end up a little bit closer to her then she'll move.
Normally by now, I'd just be direct and tell the girl that I like her but because this is my first friendship outside of my workmates and housemates I'm really scared of ****ing it up. She's quite shy and awkward so if I did tell her I liked her and she didn't feel the same way then I'm pretty sure she'd be too awkward to hang out with me anymore. So, I'm really not sure what to do. Do I tell her or just let it go?
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Became involved with a girl who was in a relationship.
Ok I know the type of response I might get. I'm just looking for some advice or validation.
Met this girl at school. We are both art majors with very similar tastes. We had instant chemistry when we first started talking. She eventually gave me her number and I was stoked. Later found out she had a bf so I backed off for months. Later on we saw each other again and the chemistry was still there. We always had so much fun being around each other and with such similar taste in stuff we decided to collaborate. 2 weeks into our project my feelings for her got intense. I know I shouldnt have but i made a move on her. She told me she liked me a lot and she had tried breaking up with her bf the week before because they were having problems. They're a long distance couple. He lives in another state and has been really distant toward her whenever they'd meet up.the bf was upset and wanted to work things out and she agreed, but then of course I happened. I figured at the time she would break it off with him anyway because it was only a matter of time. We continued seeing each other for about 4 months and everything was great. We had so much fun together and she would always tell me how much she liked me. Really supported me with my own projects as I supported her with her stuff. It was honestly a relationship I had always wanted despite the fact that she was cheating on someone the whole time. Near the end of this relationship I was feeling really guilty about everything and I thought we can't keep going on like this. I was thinking about breaking up with her if she didn't call it off with the bf soon. She had told me in the past that it was a delicate situation because they'd been together for 3 years and didn't want to hurt him. But eventually they did actually break up but on his terms. The following day we hung out and she told me this was a good thing. She seemed happy about it. But 2 weeks later she ends it with me and says she's not as strong as she thought and just wants to be friends to not ruin the positivity of what he have now becaus e there were no real sour moments at all between us. I asked if she just wanted to see other people and she said no, she just wants to be single and be alone because she's not ready to commit to another relationship after being in one for so long. I told her ok. Sad thing is I had planned to go on a date with her that day she broke up with me. We hung out at a museum and it was honestly still really fun even though I was feeling down inside. Before I left her place I told her I'd really miss her and she kept telling me we'd still work on projects and stuff. Later that night she texts me a funny video. I tell her I know I agreed to be friends and a part of me really wants that but I need some time because I still have feelings for you. She said that she too needs time and space to look at everything clearly. I went NC after that and after much time I still like her a lot. She was the sweetest/coolest girl I've ever been with.
I know now I should just move on and forget her. Friendship is enticing because she's so fun but I know these feelings are true and I want more than that. So I'm thinking I should hold onto NC until she wants to continue with me. It's been rough though. Super miss her everyday. And there's no way for me to really know if she'd give me another shot. Part of me thinks she just used me to fill a void, unintentionally though. So yeah give it to me straight. I know I'm foolish I understand. just need another perspective.
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Why has my ex started harassing me? And how do I get him to stop?
[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)]Hey,[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)] A few weeks ago I broke things off with my ex as I found out he was using a dating site behind my back. A few days later I messaged him to talk it through and he ignored me. I messaged him again to ask if he could let me know what terms we're on so I can get on the same page as him. He didn't reply.[/COLOR]
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[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)]Around a week after we split, someone messaged me online. We got taking and he added me on Facebook. I saw he was mutual friends with my ex. I asked this new guy about my ex and he told me all the rumours that go around about my ex. They were pretty disgusting. He also asked me not to tell my ex that we had been speaking because they don't get along. He seemed very genuine.[/COLOR]
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[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)]The day after, I decided to block my ex on Facebook to help me get over him. That evening I got a message from my ex saying "have you blocked me from Facebook? Hahahaha" I didn't reply. [/COLOR]
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[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)] A few days went by and my ex messaged me again saying "you're speaking to ********? Hahahahahaha!!!" Of course, he meant this new guy that he knows. Again, I didn't reply. [/COLOR]
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[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)]45 minutes later I get yet another text from my ex saying " I heard you were speaking to ******** whilst you were with me, not so loyal after all ha!, never mind there's plenty more fish in the sea. I didn't reply.[/COLOR]
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[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)]That last message is a false accusation, as I never actually spoke to this new guy until 5 days after me and my ex ended. I had tried to message my ex earlier to be civil about things and he just ignored me, so that's when I decided to wipe him from my life and try to move on. I feel he made this last message up and he knows it'll push my buttons. I am a very honest, genuine and loyal person and I'm sure he knows that. [/COLOR]
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[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961)]Does anyone have any advice? and should I continue to ignore this petty drama? I feel the urge to defend myself but I feel an argument is just what he wants. Thanks for reading.[/COLOR]
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uni relationships : after graduation
Those of you who begun a relationship at university, what happened after you graduated?
I'm in my penultimate year of university and in a very happy relationship but I, by nature, am a worrier. Neither of us are sure yet what kind of job we want or whether we may consider postgraduate studies. Because of this it is really difficult for either of us to even make a guess at where we may want to/need to live after university. Ideally we have both said we would like to move in together after uni but obviously have no idea how possible this will be.
I'm a planner and a worrier so not knowing how things will pan out is hard for me! It is definitely possible that I am overthinking things and worrying too much, but I would like to hear if anyone else was in a similar position. How easy was it for you both to end up living/working/studying in the same place, if you did? And if you didn't, how did you cope with long distance and how long for?
If all else fails, or if I am being an idiot, someone please just give me a friendly pat on the shoulder and tell me it will be okay.
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They asked for my help should I help them?
Greetings, there are two people a brother and sister in my A level year who are being bullied or at least claim they are. My friends sometimes in class make threats to them and trip them over when they are coming to class, Harmless stuff in my view though, others might feel different, anyhow these brother and sister have called me and said that my friends egged their house over the Christmas period (something I will admit I found hilarious) and as I am a decent person could I speak to my friends and ask them to be nicer. Now I have considered whether or not to help them. My criteria for helping people is the following, they must not drink, smoke, gamble or do drugs and they must be heterosexual and follow one of the Abrahamic religions ideally Christianity but Islam and Judaism are acceptable. Am I being to exclusive or do you feel my criteria are correct. I want to help, however I want to help moral people not degenerates.
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I've had no action at all in 2
I've had a full year of no sex at all...
Mainly due to my lack of interest in men for most if the year due to me being bitter about my ex dumping me and I wanted to focus on my work. But as the year comes to a close I realise that I never want to go a full year without it again. So how sexually eventful was 2014 for you?
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My boyfriend keeps putting himself down and feels worthless?
Hey http://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/11.22....lies/smile.png we're both 21, and I love him lots. He's quite a funny guy but lately I think he's been feeling a bit down or he's hiding his true feelings?
On Christmas Day, his family all sit around and open their presents all one at a time. He said to me he didn't want to open his. I asked why and he said to me it's because he felt like he didn't deserve it? It just sounded upsetting because he is one of the nicest, friendliest, most helpful people you could ever meet. He is always thinking about others yet he said that? Why would anyone think like that?
He works where I used to work and a Manager I knew came over to me when I visited recently and told me he was putting himself down about his work too much and asked me if everything was alright.
My boyfriend loves photography and i'm not just saying it, but he's pretty amazing at it. The photos are beautiful. He studied photography and they're professional level. 1000 people could say his photography work is good, yet he'd say it's rubbish.
He seems quite shy at times too. He dresses well and he's a really good looking guy, but he'll always put himself down about how he looks. I'm not just saying that, but he is attractive. We'll go out and he'll get looks from the ladies. He's slim and on holiday last Summer, he would not go shirtless and into the sea. I think he gets anxiety or he's worried what people think of him.
He's lovely, thoughtful, he's nice, sexy, yet he keeps putting himself down like this. He's got around £7000 or £8000 in savings, but he won't spend any of his hard earned money on himself because "he doesn't deserve it". I'm not telling him to spend the lot, but he should buy himself something nice with it.
His Mum brought him up with his sister and as a single parent, they were quite poor so I'm not sure if that has something to do with it, but I don't know why he's like that with everything else? His Great Nan & Grandad both passed away a few years ago and he still gets upset and sometimes I think that's why he feels like this. It's been going on about a month now.
What do I do? and thanks for reading this!! x
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Distracting myself from trouble
Hi all,
In my first year of uni I started sleeping with a guy casually who was gorgeous (probably out of my league), but a notorious player. I didn't mind as I wasn't looking for anything serious, but eventually, as usual, I started developing feelings and so cut it off, but we remained friends.
We've stayed friends for the last two years and chatted a lot (although met up rarely, probably because he knew I wasn't going to put out), but no one's ever.... affected me this much before. It's like I haven't been able to stop thinking about him for 2 years. He's fun and a challenge and good looking and we have great conversations.
BUT - I know, from knowing the way he speaks to me occasionally (when he's looking for sex) and knowing a few of his friends that he's a player and I don't ever think (even if he was interested, which I'm fairly sure he isn't) I could maintain a proper relationship as I couldn't trust him.
So I need some advice. I've got 6 months left at uni (he's already graduated so no worries about him being around), but it's a small uni and the pickings are fairly slim in terms of male interests... I'm not really looking for a serious relationship but rather some companionship, but everyone I meet falls short of him and I can't feel much attraction towards anyone else even though I've tried.
I know when I leave uni and move to another city I'll be meeting loads of new people and will hopefully find someone who excites me as much, but until then I can't get him off my mind and it's driving me crazy. I know it's best to stay away from him, and I am trying my best to but since there's not much else I'm finding it hard, even after deleting him from facebook etc, I still can't shake him from my mind.
Any advice? I know I need distraction in some way shape or form but nothing I've tried as worked..
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Will a girl turn you down if you ask her out but she knows a close friend fancies you
So like is it generally seen as not ok even if you haven't dated her close friend but you suspect/she knows that she fancies you. Is it kind if seen like a betrayal or something even if you've never asked her friend out or dated?
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Told girl I was gay now she's set me up with a date..
Basically a girl who I find physically repulsive asked me out and I couldn't find a way of nicely saying no without destroying her self esteem. So I told her I was gay to try and prevent her from falling into depression. For a while I thought the problem was solved but now she has supposedly found a guy interested in me and has been constantly nagging me for weeks to go on a date with him.
Im not sure how much more my excuses can hold her for and it won't be long before she gets suspicious. What should I do?
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Giving but not Receiving
Been with my partner for 4+ years and everything is fine - I love and respect him a lot. We've had a lot of good memories.
However not everything is good in the bedroom department.
He tries hard through intercourse and general foreplay but when it comes to oral...
He absolutely hates it - its not my down there that puts him off so to speak in terms of smell or taste he just hates doing the act - yet I always pleasure him orally a lot of the time going the extra mile in terms of what I do with a certain substance even though its not the most pleasant thing for me to do - BUT I do it because I love him and want him to feel good.
I have spoken to him about doing it and he just doesn't want to - I've bought a flavoured lube that I've used on him but he hasn't tried on me yet but I have asked him but he just refuses....
any advice??? :/
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