Almost two weeks ago my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. The relationship hadn't been going anywhere for a while and we both got a lot of things wrong. I still love him but he didn't feel that way any more. So I tried to get him back in the week following it, doing all I could. Outlining how we'd repair the mistakes in the relationship and make things awesome next time. But it wasn't enough.
A week later I gave up trying to get him back and sent him a goodbye e-mail. I didn't expect a response but he came back saying he'd date me but he needs to be able to date other guys at the same time and pick the best one - IE non-exclusive to begin with. Kinda like how he was dating multiple people unknown to me before we first entered a relationship. I was hesitant but I figured I'd be able to make him see sense. We watched a film at his on Wednesday night and afterwards he spent an hour touching me and stuff in a romantic way (no sex) making me think he might be taking me back but at the end he just said he can't because he'd cheat - because of guys he's chatting to online and never met.
At the same time as the breakup he started desperately seeking a new boyfriend by scouring Grindr and other dating apps and websites. Since the breakup he's claimed to be dating like three different guys but he has met none of them. It's a clear case of flirting deluding him into thinking they would be better for him, while trying to make me jealous at the same time.
We had an online "fight" yesterday where we said bad things to each other - he attacked me for no reason so I came back even harder. In the evening it was more civil and he spent three hours trying to convince me to be friends with him. I couldn't. During the conversation I said something like "There is nothing I can say/do to get you back and there is nothing you can say/do to make me be friends with you.". He replies with "there is something" and clarified it to be in regards to the first part.
So what exactly could that thing be? It can't be sex. While he has made clear he'd still have sex with me he's also been quite clear it's just sex and wouldn't mean anything in regards to getting him back.
I can't help think he's making a mistake and his mind is being clouded. He claims to be "conflicted", and he's always super tired due to the shock horror of starting a working life a month ago. But on the other hand I feel like he needs to experience some failures, date these guys and see just how bad they are compared to what he has thrown away. He's deluded into thinking he can have that fairytale romantic relationship where everything is perfect and thinks that I can't give him that but guys he's frantically searching the internet for right now can. We had a great foundation and with some issues resolved it could have been something special. I think he'd come running back but I need to move on not wait.
What do you think is running through his head?
Just to clarify, I'm a guy. :P
Put the internet to work for you.
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